Chapter 3: "You've Got Mail"

Houston checked his e-mail inbox the next day, having seen that Samus was

already someplace else other than his apartment. He saw a message from

a source he didn't expect. The handle name was not Ridley, no...there

was no handle name.

We regret to inform you that such a ME has not yet been located.

However, we will consider this deal. Getting something from the

Federation without attacking them is a convenience to us, but over

such an object, we might have a different rationality over. We want

information as to the conflict of interests between Sumisu and us...

Mother Brain

"Geez, can't this thing sound any more hive-minded?" He looks at the

screen. Something began to continue to type the message. "Yow! Dis-

tur-biiiing!"

PS: Seeing as you have opened this message and read it, we will

find this information on our own. Your mind cannot avoid being

probed for this information. We have clearly passed any and all

mental defenses, either there were none, or they were disabled by

this message.

Houston began to speak out to thin air. "The Marduk Cult wants to go to

the planet Nibiru to gain an ultimate weapon of destruction, that if used,

will cause the annihilation of the universe." He stopped, clearly having

remembered what was coming out of his mouth. The message continued typing.

We now understand the confict of interests. We understand that the

ultimate destruction is not our aim, nor is conquest. We will accept

pay at face value for the retrieval of this ME. No changes to the

deal will be made. The Mother Brain has spoken on the behalf of all

Gammans.

The terminal suddenly powers off. Gamma Sector wasn't close to Alpha

Centauri. It was well on the other side of the galaxy.

'DAMN! Mother Brain must be uber-psychic if it can reach this far with its

mind!!' Houston thought to himself. It was crazy, but he felt it was true.

The data of his terminal was altered by an unknown, non-computorial source.

This he found out when he turned it back on. He had also recieved his

response from Ridley, too.

I must say. You know, I have become more powerful than before, and

I wanted to flaunt such new power. Don't think that you can sow your

own animosity between us, I read your plea at the end of your message.

*sigh* I will help, but only because Mother Brain ordered it. She

thinks that we should trust those who are hotter on Sumisu's heels in

aggression, rather than tip him off to us changing our mind. I've

sent this message over a secure line, hopefully Sumisu hasn't hacked

you to get it.

I agree with your presumed 'conflict of interests'. The Marduk Cult

has become fervent in searching for the ME. They had information as

to where they all were, but they lost that trail quickly. I guess

that some other people guard these ME, especially the ones holding

knowledge that is potentially dangerous. You might want to start

looking.

After all, you don't know what I'll do to these guardians if I find

them first. _O

Houston turned around. He didn't see Hardy anywhere, nor did he see Samus.

He quickly printed out the message and deleted it from his inbox. He didn't

want anyone to know about his liasion with any Gammans. Especially not

Sumisu.

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Hardy was filing through papers, holding a jelly donut precariously in his

mouth, trying not to dribble anything onto them. Just then, he hears a door

slam and someone shout "HARDY!!" He bites into the donut, causing it to fall

out of his mouth and spatter on the files with cherry filling.

"AAH! Keamum, fuh, I wuf biffi!" He looks at the door and sees that Keaton

isn't at the door. "Huh?"

"And then, he would say, 'eating on the job again, Hardy?!'" Hardy sighs.

This was the first time that Houston did that to him.

"Pho, Houphpon, uh you phoing phu phu phat agaim?" Houston looks at Hardy.

"What?" Hardy swallows the bite that he had crowding his speech.

"Are you going to scare me like that again?" Houston grins. That was

Keaton's job, but he probably hadn't done that in a few days.

"Maybe. God only knows that Keaton hasn't done it ye-" The door slams into

Houston's back. Keaton suddenly emerges.

"HARDY!!!" Keaton looks at Hardy holding the files covered with jelly donut.

"So...eating again, eh?! I -could- have you fired; those are important

documents that you ruined." Hardy looks at Keaton with a pouty face.

"But sir, I dropped my donut on them because of-" Keaton waves his hand and

sits in Hardy's chair.

"Never mind! What is the status of--why is Houston here?" Houston waves his

printed message from Ridley. "What is that?" Keaton grabs the paper and

reads the message. He rubs his chin and looks it over again.

"Well, I wanted to get a little extra hands on locating the ME before Sumisu,

so..." Keaton leaps onto Hardy's desk and grabs Houston's T-shirt.

"And the Space Pirates will actually ALLOW a deal with US?! I FORBID IT!!

WE DON'T DO DEALS WITH PIRATES!!!"

"I wouldn't call them that if I were you. I just had a real bad run-in with

Mother Brain earlier this morning...and it was because I said that to her."

Keaton looks above Houston at Samus.

"SO WHAT?! I'M NOT AFRAID OF THEM! YOU JUST GET YOUR LITTLE PANSY BLONDE

ASS OUT OF HERE IF YOU THINK I'M THE -LEAST- BIT SCARED OF THAT BRAIN IN A

JAR!!!" Houston unplugs his ears.

"Uh, sir? Can you either not yell, or please let me go?" Keaton throws

Houston to the ground and hops off of the desk, pushing Samus aside.

"Deal with pirates...feh..." He turns around to face them. "DO AS YOU

DAMN WELL PLEASE! MY SUPERIORS WON'T HAVE IT! THEY WON'T SANCTION THIS

MOVE, AND I WON'T EITHER! Your job's on the line, Hardy...SO YOU'D BETTER

DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT...and RIGHT NOW!!!!" Keaton slams the door and

the glass shatters out of it...as well as the other windows on the wall.

Samus whistles.

"Ooh, Keaton's mad. He must not have liked that." Houston winks.

"All according to plan. Hardy, looks like your job was done before you

could even do it. Now, alls I gotta do is get the money for us...and that's

where another temp job comes in." Houston giggles evilly, and Hardy winces.

"I hope it's not a comedy stream about me."

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(Houston's encounter with the Gammans leader, Mother Brain, is no less of a

shock to him as it was to Samus, but it's odd to find him being a tactical

mind for once. He's usually a brute, and a goofy wisecracking one at that,

so I don't like much the serious turn in Houston's side of the story. I'm

going to go back to Houston's lighter half of himself next chapter, as his

comedy routine turns into the...rather ridiculous revenge of Sumisu and his

agents. It's time for Cable Guy again, next chapter!)