I do not own anything... *sigh*...

It is Red XIII's 60th birthday, which is the same as 21 for humans. The whole gang is over (except for Aeries of course, being dead and all). Cloud and Tifa are loving each other, Cait Sith and Yuffie were being stupid as usual (I hate those two..), Barret is acting like Mr. T, Cid is smoking like a chimney, Vincent is sulking, and Red XIII is opening his presents from everybody.

Red XIII: Thanks Vincent for the cape! Vincent (cape-less):........... Red XIII: *opening the presents from Cloud, Yuffie, CS, Barret, and Cid* Wow! Hair gel, a broken materia (Yuffie: I didn't need it anymore), a megaphone, Mr. T doll (I pity da foo!), and cigarrettes, gee thanks Cid. Cid: .......(can't talk, his lung are burnt out) Vincent:............! (he stole my line!) Tifa: Here Red Red XIII: *opens the gift* a soft? Tifa: for your father! Red XIII: yea, thanks...

FLASHBACK

Seto: you know son, I think its time we had a talk.. Red XIII: about girls? Seto: No, about tadertots. I mean, where do they come from? Why are they so yummy...

1 hour later

Seto:... and why are they called tots instead of dots? Red XIII: (crazy by now of course) AHHHHHHH! *shoots his father with petrifying arrows* (why else wouldn't he think of using a soft? He's supposed to be a genius!)

BACK TO PRESENT (ha, present...) TIME

Red XIII: Thanks guys! You're the best friend a guy can have!

Outside of the house...

Red XIII: *gets booted outside* Why are you kicking me out? Barret: because you're old and need to get a life foo! Red XIII: but you guys are all adults and freeloaders! Barret: ummmmm....ummmmm.... *closes door and runs* Red XIII: well I guess I can just go back to Cosmo Canyon... At Cosmo Canyon Red XIII: An eviction notice?!? Land lord: You and your friends have barged into people's houses uninvited for the last time! *slams the gate into Cosmo Canyon* Red XIII: Now where do I go?

So Red XIII eventually buys the house in Earthbound (for those of you who have never played it, it is a dump and it has no back wall).

Red XIII: well at least it's quiet... Evil mailman: here is you bills! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Red XIII: WHAT?!?! Taxes? House payment (I bought the darn thing!)? Credit card bill? I don't have a credit card! (In a store, Yuffie is on a shopping spree with a credit card under a Red's name). What are they gonna charge me for next? Now very evil mailman: oops! Forgot one! Red XIII: A fine for indecent exposure? Very evil mailman: gotta wear pants in public man! Red XIII: grrrrrrrr

So Red XIII gets a job at the local fast food vendor.

Red XIII: *grease splatting in his good eye* ow...ow...ow...ow...This sucks! I don't wanna be old anymore!!! Waaaaaaaa! *has a tantrum*.

Then after spending time in the insane asylum, he moves back in with the crew by paying a lot of rent because if he didn't then it just wouldn't be interesting anymore.

Red XIII: *watching Marlene drinking again, Barret being sued by Mr. T, and Cloud's hair falling out from too much gel* home sweet home..

Don't get me wrong, Red XIII is my favorite character. If he isn't in Advent Children or Kingdom Hearts 2 then I'm gonna.... Plz review!