Chapter 2: "All about ME"

Samus entered the old backstreet tavern and looked around. Quite an unusual

bunch of aliens were inside. They all looked like they were bug-headed, with

crab-like claws reaching well past their hands. Most of them had purple and

blue carapaces covering their bodies, but one or two were green. There were

three humans (so Samus had thought) in black, swanky suits wearing sunglasses

of the same color. They look over to Schneider, who just entered behind

Samus a moment ago. One of them cocks his head sharply and Schneider goes to

sit with them.

'Right...you have your ways, I have mine.' Samus walks over to the bathrooms,

stopping just outside the doors to hear a deep, partly rasping voice

complaining about the size of the door being way to small for him to fit.

Samus stifles a laugh and then walks into the ladies restroom.

"Damn, why do they not accomodate for those bigger than humans? I'm starting

to get sick of this. Why did we even take that job to find those 'ME'?"

The voice growls and Samus hears a crash. She looks out the door crack and

sees something she wouldn't believe.

A large, red-skinned dinosaur. She opens the door all of the way and

continues to look at the figure.

"So they're NOT extinct." The figure whirls around and hits Samus with his

tail. She crashes into a wall, and the figure walks up to the hole. Samus

struggles to at least sit upright. She looks at the long spines on his

tail, thanking the whole Chozo pantheon that she wasn't stuck with one

of them.

"Uh. Still alive. I guess that means that I can give you a tip. NEVER CALL

ME A DINOSAUR!! I AM A DRAGON!!" The dragon turns around after hearing a

light whining noise behind him. He looks at the source of the noise, coming

from the cannon of Schneider's Power Suit.

"I suggest that you stay away from her. I can and will have you turned over

to Federation authorites for detainment on the charges of assault on an

apprentice bounty hunter and attempted...erm...woman-slaughter." Samus rubs

her neck.

"Sexist." The dragon laughs.

"You honestly think that you can defeat Ridley? I am not just Mother Brain's

elite pirate commander for nothing. I have other business to tend to, and

I just so happened to have...uh...where is it? DAMMIT, WHO TOOK THE 'ME'?!"

Samus ducks away out of the tavern through the back door. The three men in

black follow. "SLY LITTLE WITCH! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ME FIRST!" Schneider fires a charged blast at Ridley

and then several missiles. Ridley ducks and sweeps at Schneider with his

tail. Schneider jumps and fires another Missile at Ridley, who then rolls

into the bar, casuing it to flatten.

'I must be getting fat if I can do that. Gotta get into a bit more action.'

Ridley looks up at Schneider with what looks like an evil grin. "COME HERE,

YOU!" Schneider rushes Ridley as he expects and Ridley lets out a big

blast of fire.

"SCHIZA! That's hot!" Schneider jumps back and runs after Samus. Ridley

pounds the ground and scratches a plank of wood. A few of the aliens walk

over to Ridley.

"...I must be losing my touch. Out-foxed by an apprentice hunter that...

called me a dinosaur." Ridley grins and begins to laugh, happily.

"Finally, a match! A PERFECT MATCH!" Ridley gets up and motions for the

aliens to follow him. "We are going to find out her name...and then we will

see just what she is truly capable of..."

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Samus had been going full sprint down the alleys after sneaking away from

that dragon. She looked behind her to see if anyone was following, but

didn't see anyone, so she stopped.

Unexpectedly, and out of nowhere, the three men in black from that tavern

appeared and surrounded Samus. One of them stepped forward once.

"Miss Aran-derson (little Matrix spoof)...you have something that we want.

Give me that ME disk." Samus fingered the ancient-looking CD.

"This? Why not let me give it to the Federation, and then you can take

it from them?" The one who spoke to her took another step forward.

"We can't do that. We must have that disk. Even if we make you co-operate

by force." The other two reach into their jackets, but don't pull anything

out yet. Samus backs away.

"Look, lemme give this disk to Keaton and get paid, m'kay? I've got to make

a living too."

"Oh, no. We can't do that. You might find out too much. Give it to me,

and you won't hear from us again...unless you get another one."

"Too much about what? What's so important about this thing that you would

pester me if I got another?" Samus holds the ME up for the men to see.

"Why, the secrets of Earth, Samus. Who existed on it, what cultures were

created, information so advanced that hummanity could not have comprehended

it...in fact, humanity didn't even exist at one point and time. We are on a

search, for the AN.UNNA.KI. We want to find their homeworld. It is so close

to Earth...and yet eludes our grasp. Give me that ME." The three men each

pull out a plasma pistol and advance on Samus slowly.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" The three men turn around. "I AM THE DEFENDER OF TV

PROGRAMMING! I STAND FOR FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND UNCENSORED SHOWS!" Another

guy that the three men now face poses. "I AM...CABLE GUY!" He poses more.

"AND IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS TV...I SHALL PUNISH YOU!" Samus sighs and

shakes her head.

'Houston...what exactly is that moron up to now?' Samus jumps onto a fire

escape and runs up it to a building roof. 'Now would be a good time for my

Power Suit.' As if on cue, a small, yellow, Chozo Mailar-type Power Suit is

set behind her. She turns around and sees Schneider clutching it, and with

an irritating suggestibility, too.

"I would have been there sooner, but I thought you might need this." Samus

slaps Schneider's helmet and dons her Power Suit. She then dashes in the

direction of the Headquarters building and leaps from roof to roof. She was

going to give Keaton the ME, and at the same time, see what was on it.

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Keaton just stared in awe at the display. He was impressed that such an old

disk would run, but had no idea of its contents. Things about ancient human

civilization and how it began, how humans truly came to be, and what the

truth of the Great Flood was. Now, humans had a different story about them-

selves to swallow: the most modern humans were still part-alien. Now then,

would they racially categorize themselves?

"Samus, we have a watershed on the anti-racism campaign!! We can effectively

say that even humans are not so totally different...but...then...what does

that make of us?" Keaton looks down at the old, cyan-colored CD. "I must

know more. You say that you've determined that Space Pirates are after

these ME discs?" Samus nods.

"Their leader, Ridley, had the one that you're looking at. It may not have

had such importance to him, though." Keaton beamed.

"Of course not. I could further my service as Chairman by another electoral

term with this!" Samus rolls her eyes.

'Duh, you just fork it over to your secret superiors and presto! Instant

rigged election.' "Why would some of your flunkies attack me?" Samus blurts.

Keaton looks up at her.

"...What? Why are you pushing your luck at a time like this?!" Samus slams

her hand on Keaton's desk.

"I'm serious, Chairman! Three MiB's attacked me!" Keaton gasps. This was

not their normal behaviour. They were supposed to keep secrets, not hunt

bounty hunters.

"Well...I'll call Agent Sumisu about it. Can't have them running that amok,

can we?" Samus walks over to the door and turns to face Keaton.

"No, you can't. None of you secret-keepers can."

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Schneider waited in the police office section of the HQ building. He had

wondered what took Samus so long, but didn't bother to ask. Despite his

sleaze, to the right person he could be brutally honest. Samus was one of

those people; he felt she couldn't be lied to even if he tried.

"Schneider. You look like you had two cents to throw at me." He casts a

fearful glare at Samus.

'She caught on THAT fast?!' "Yes...I wanted to know what took so long."

Samus continued walking, with Schneider following.

"Well, if you have to know, Keaton had an important call that I decided to

oversee. Do you know anyone named 'Sumisu'?" Schneider stopped for a moment.

Do-or-die. Time to find out if Samus could be lied to. He answers without

pause.

"No." Samus stops and looks toward him.

'No? How could he not know? Those men exuded the aura of his money. Oh,

well. I will play coy to his lie.' "Alright. So, where are we going next?"

Hardy enters through the door. Houston follows inside of his own Power Suit,

a blue, blocky-looking Varia-type. Schneider nods and Samus looks at Hardy.

"How about where he sends you?" They all walk into Hardy's office. Quite

spacious, even if the decor was exactly like Keaton's. They all guessed it

was so Hardy had room to move. "Sir? Would you care to give us your detail?"

Hardy clears his throat as he sits in his chair. "As Houston and I already

know, Space Pirates caused a scene outside of a tavern in Sector 8-8A. When

we got there, there were only three people left alive, and very badly burnt.

The rest were all roasted to ash, and the whole scene was like a well

contained bomb went off. Suffice to say, Ridley does mean business." Hardy

activates a projector with pictures of what the area looked like. One whole

block south of the tavern was gone. Nothing left standing. The survivors

were grotesquely blackened and looked like they were already dead. Samus

shuddered in horror. It was worse than her home, but in a small space.

"Houston told me that Samus was attacked by three men dressed in black suits

while she was escaping the other way. He distracted them and then escaped

himself. I called Keaton a minute before arrival here and he told me about

what all this happened over." On cue, Keaton enters holding the ME disk.

Adam was with him, too.

"Lady and Gentlemen, Exhibit A." Hardy clears his throat again.

"This disk contains data about a history of Earth even far before Atlantis.

Who created it, we don't know yet." Samus looks up at Hardy.

"I have to ask...what are the AN.UNNA.KI? Those three MiB's said that they

were looking for their homeworld." Keaton looks down glumly.

'So, that is why...the Marduk Cult wants the ME. They want to find Nibiru

and conquer it. But...why Nibiru? Why don't they look for a ME containing

data about a nuclear weapon? Unless...the Anunnaki have developed something

far worse. Sumisu...I will have your number.' "HEY!" Everyone jumps.

Keaton darts his head around.

"You all are going to be given a dangerous mission. One far more dangerous

than dealing with regular ol' Space Pirates. You are to find the ME that

has the data about the planet Nibiru." Keaton looks around again. "Now,

to answer some of your questions, I have heard of Nibiru, the homeworld of

the Anunnaki. I don't, however, know where it is, other than in the Solar

System. It's orbit makes it normally unlocatable expect by those who have

been there."

"So it's imperative that we get that ME before anyone else?" Schneider asks.

'Now I feel like a fool for what I have done. I have...made things worse.

Serving the Marduk Cult...what side do I take?' Schneider shakes his head.

'Of course. The side that pays more. So all I need to do is offer my help

to them after finding out how much this pays from the Federation.'