Ch. 6: A Horribly Screwed Up Sidequest

Mario and Luigi get stuck in the ground.

Luigi: *pops out* Hmm... *sees Mario* Oh! *pulls him out* Hadoodoolodebalo.

Mario: Adoodooedello.

The bros see a bunch of Koopas lying around, dead.

Luigi: Ahhh! It looks like the battle of Fort Sumpter!

Mario: Which was the 1st battle of the American Civil War!

Luigi: This fic is humorous AND educational!!

Mario and Luigi go into a conveniently placed castle.

Mario: MIDGETS! GET AWAY!

Border Bro: wh4t5 up, 8r0th3r5 m!

Luigi: *looks up* Stuff...

Other Border Bro: 4nyw4y, w3 c4n't l3t y0u 9uy5 p455 unl355 y0u w1n th3 80rd3r jump!

Mario: Kay...

Border Bro: l3t5 90!

Luigi: JUMPROPE!!!

Other Border Bro: *swings rope around* c1nd3r3ll4 dr3553d 1n y3ll0w w3nt up5t41r5 t0 k155 4 f3ll0w

Border Bro: 8y m15t4k3 53 k1553d 4 5n4k3 h0w m4ny d0ct0r5 d1d 1t t4k3?

Mario: I cannot even begin on how screwed up this is.

Other Border Bro: 0k, y0u 9uy5 w1in.

Luigi: Yay!

Border Bro: W0uld y0u 9uy5 l1k3 t0 pl4y 4g41n?

Mario: NO.

Other Border Bro: 8ut w3'll g1v3 y0u 834n5 1f y0u w1n!!

Luigi: MAGICAL BEANS?

Border Bro: uhh... 5ur3.

Luigi: YESSS!!

Other Border Bro: *turns rope again* c4ndy 4ppl3 0n 4 5t1ck...

Mario: WE WON. BEANS. NOW.

Luigi: Yay! *takes beans* Yay! Now I'm gonna plant them! Yay!

Luigi plants the beans. A large pipe pops out.

Luigi: PIPE!!

Mario: PIPE....?

Dr. Evil: PIPES!

Mario and Luigi go into the pipe. They pop out on a solid cloud.

Mario: Whoa...

Luigi: Where are we?

Mario: I hear a noise!

???: Psh sh sh sh sh! Bleep! Boopp! FASHIZZLE!

Mario: Jason?! I already told you, I'm--

???: Thump Thump!

Luigi: HOMESLICE! What are you doing here?!

Homeslice: For randomness! Fashizzle!

Mario: ...

Homeslice: So you wanted to be a teeny teen, right?

Mario: YES!

Homeslice: Then just sign this contract! And make sure you look at my...

Amanda: LITTLE CRAZY GUY IN A HAT!

Mario: I am so distracted by the Little Crazy Guy in a Hat, I don't notice this sentence that says, "By signing of this contractness, you agreee to lick Homeslice's feet for one hour, spray yourself with meat tenderizer, and then jump in the Amazon River."

Luigi: Which is the second longest river in the world!

Just before Mario signs the contractness, a Care Bear comes in.

Care Bear: I WUV YOU!!!

Suddenly the cloud liquifies and everyone falls to their deaths!

THE END

Luigi: That sucked...

J*B: OH alright...

Mario, Luigi, and Homeslice didn't. But the Care Bear did though!!!

Little Children: ToT

Mario and Luigi land in Stardust Fields. Who knows where Homeslice landed...

Homeslice: WOOHOO! FIJI!

Luigi: So we're right back where we started then...

Mario: Yup. Letsa go!

Mario and Luigi see spiky things. Next to them is a sign. It says, "Spiky Stardust Defense System (SSDS)"

Jonesy: SSDD!

Mario: Whazzat?

Jonesy: YOU'LL NEVER KNOW! *disappears*

Mario: O...k..

A lion appears in Jonesy's place.

Aslan: OUCH! I got a boinky thing in my paw! Help me get it out?

Mario: NO!

Aslan: Come on! Pull my thorn!

Luigi: OK! *pulls it out*

Aslan: *farts* AHAHAHAHA! Gets 'em every time!!

Mario and Luigi: e_e

Ford Dude and Dell Kid come back.

Mario and Luigi: NOT YOU TWO!!!

J*B: You guys probably know what happens next.

Aslan: The Ciiiiiirclllee of Liiiiiiiifffe....