Ch. 8: They'll Be Comin Round the Mountain... One Day

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Mario and Luigi are dropped somewhere on Hoohoo Mountain.

Guards: *come rushing over* WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MRS. BEASLEY?

A Guard: Prince Peasley...

Mrs. Beasley: I do believe you are my best friend!

Everyone else: o_o

Mario: Adoodoodedello!

Luigi: Hadoodoodebalo!

Guards: What???

Tolstar: *comes flying down*

Mario: Fatty can fly?!

Tolstar: Shut up! Anyway, they're not lying!

Guard: About what?

Tolstar: That they're Mario and Luigi!

Other Guard: Actually... we couldn't understand a word they said.

Tolstar: *cough* DEAF *cough*

Guard: OK, if this guy says you are Mario and Lugi, then go ahead.

Other Guard: Wait a minute... you guys can't be Mario and Luigi! We just saw them a few minutes ago!

*flashback*

Fawful and Cackletta come out of the cave.

Guard: And who are you two?

Cackletta: Jiffy Lube.

Fawful: *whispers* Luigi...

Cackletta: What? ...Oh yeah. I'm Luigi!

Other Guard: But you don't have a mustache!

Cackletta: Uh... *grabs a bottlebrush and sticks it under her nose*

Guard: Wow! That's stupid enough to work!

Fawful: And um... I am Mario. Watch me jump. Boing boing.

Other Guard: OK! You can pass!

*end flashback*

Guard: We'll never let you pass!

Luigi: LOOK! It's Sally Suthers!

Guards: WHERE? *look*

Mario and Luigi run. They see a village.

Cactus-girl-person: Welcome to our Circle of Love!

Mario: Wait! We get signal! Main screen turn on!

Luigi: Somebody set up us the bomb!

Mario: What?

Luigi: AH! FAWFUL!

Fawful: Hello, gentlemen. All your base are belong to us!

Mario: What you say?!

Fawful: You have nochancetosurvivemakeyourtime. Ha. Ha. Ha. *summons Jabba the Hut*

Mario: Hey... you look familiar... IS IT YOU, ANNA NICOLE?

Luigi: Deja vu!

Mario: Be quiet!

Jabba the Hut: You no go through!

Using his head, Luigi charges and pushes Jabba the Hut out of the way.

Luigi: How's that for using your head? ^_^

Mario: That takes thick headedness to a new level.

Luigi: Am I a good boy?

Mario: If I had a biscuit, I'd throw it at you.

Luigi: Yay! Wait...

Fawful: NOW GIMME TREEFIDDY!!!

Luigi: What?

Fawful: I want treefiddy!

Mario: Alls I got is toofiddy.

Fawful: Good nuff. Fare thee well! *flies off*

Luigi and Mario: ...

A Beanie comes rushing over.

*battle begins*

Luigi: Beanie... *plops it on his head*

Beanie: GAH! *bites him*

Luigi: MY HAT BIT ME!

Mario: I had a chihuahua named Beanie...

*flashback*

Beanie the Chihuahua: Lo tengo El Pollo Loco en mis pantalones!

Mario's Dad: Isn't it "Yo quiero Taco Bell"?

Mario: (six years old) No, that phrase stinks! The new one is so much better!

*end flashback*

Beanie approaches Luigi, falls, wiggles, and goes back.

Luigi: OW! MY NERVES!

Mario: *eats Beanie*

Luigi: Uh oh... *holds nose*

*Battle ends*

Mario levels up.

Mario: From eating a bean... cool!

Luigi: Hm... I wonder how Homeslice is...

*At a psychiatrist's office*

Homeslice: Doc, you gotta help me. I'm just so... violent!

Psychiatrist: And how do you FEEL about that?

Homeslice: ...violent?

Psychiatrist: Well, I think you need a new name. "Homeslice" promotes violence.

Homeslice: It...does? That's stupid.

Psychiatrist: Yes. Try and think of a gentler name.

Homeslice: Boo... Boo... Kitty f$&%?

Psychiatrist: Umm, that's a start...

Back with M and L

Mario and Luigi see Hoohooros.

Luigi: Hoohooros... Are you a Pokemon?

Hoohooros: No...

Luigi: AH! *throws a rubber ball at it*

Hoohooros: OUCH! What are you trying to do?!

Luigi: Catch you, stupid!

Hoohooros: O... K... Anyway, if you want to pass, you must take my test! And pass it!

J*B: Dont you just LOVE cliffhangers?