Okay everyone; here is another chapter of my story!! It's pretty long too!! Tell me what you think! Oh and thanks to all who have reviewed so far!!! I love getting those messages saying that I have a new review!!! J
Chapter Seventeen
It was the middle of the night and Alex was pacing the dark hallway outside of her room. She had been wakened by the huge storm that raged on outside the castle walls. With each flash of lightening and boom of the thunder she couldn't help but jump. Alex had never gotten over her childhood fear of storms and was now trying her best to not think about it.
"Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side? Rainbows are visions but only illusions. And rainbows have nothing to hide." Alex sang softly to herself as she padded up and down the hallway in her fuzzy purple slippers.
Alex couldn't help but remember the dream she had been having right before the storm woke her up. It was the kiss…again! What was wrong with her? She had thought that by avoiding Snape, she would have been able to forget. But luck definitely was not on her side.
"So we've been told and some choose to believe it. I know they're wrong, wait and see. Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers, and me." She continued singing softly as the rain pounded on the window. Alex still didn't know how she felt about Snape. She didn't want to believe that she was falling for him but she was exhibiting all the usual symptoms. She couldn't stop thinking about him, got butterflies whenever they were in the same room together. Dinner had been hell, sitting next to him. She had barely touched her food and when she had been asked about her lack of appetite, Alex had claimed that she just wasn't hungry. But why Severus Snape? He hated her! Unrequited love was unquestionably a road that she did not want to travel! But who said she was in love with him? She really wasn't, was she?
"Who said that every wish would be heard and answered, and wished on the morning star. Somebody thought of that and someone believed it. Look what's it done so far." Alex continued singing, shuddering at the loud rumble of thunder.
"The muppets, Alexandra?" Snape smirked casually leaning in the archway. Alex jumped, startled at his sudden presence. How long had he been there, watching her? Obviously long enough to figure out what song she had been singing.
"What have I told you about sneaking up on people?!" Alex frowned, crossing her arms in front of her.
"Why aren't you asleep?" he asked. He couldn't help but notice her choice of night attire consisted of fuzzy slippers and a pale yellow pajama set that had the words Bite Me written across the front. He had to bite his tongue to keep from making a comment about them.
Before Alex his could answer his question, a bolt of lightening cracked through the sky. She jumped and found herself clutching at Snape like a little child. Both of them froze for a moment, as Alex willed her heart to calm down. She didn't know if it was beating so hard from the storm, or being so near Snape.
"I'm sorry." She said softly, stepping away from him embarrassed at her reaction to the storm.
"I never pictured you being afraid of a thunder storm." Snape remarked casually, as he readjusted his cloak.
"Well I never pictured you as liking the muppets!" Alex shot back, unable to hide her grin.
"I never said that I liked them." He denied, frowning down at her. Damn, she never realized just how tall he was. He towered right over her 5'5" figure.
"But you know who they are. Must mean something, since they are, after all, a muggle thing." Alex smirked. Snape just glared at her, stubbornly refusing to make any further comments on the topic.
"So why are you here? No students roaming the halls for you to terrorize?" Alex grinned but then froze. Why did that sound so familiar? Oh shit! She had made that remark in that stupid dream!!!
"Alexandra? Are you quite all right?" Snape asked seeing the look of shock that crossed over her face.
"Wha?" Alex mumbled, coming to her senses. Nothing was gonna happen. This was nothing like her dream. "I'm fine." She quickly assured him.
"Then if you are not going to be returning to bed, would you care for a cup of tea?" Snape asked politely. Alex looked up at him and gave a soft laugh.
"Sure. I would like that." She agreed. Wow, he was actually being civil. Not nice; he made fun of the muppets. Still, he was being rather courteous. Alex idly wondered if it was because she had invited him to lunch the other day.
Snape led her down into the dungeons and past the classroom. Honestly, Alex could admit that she had no clue where his quarters were. She assumed that they were in the dungeons since she would see him head down there after meals, but she never knew where they actually were. You know, she didn't even know where the Slytherin common room was!
Snape stopped in front of a portrait of a dark wizard brewing a potion. Mumbling something, the picture swung open, revealing the dark room inside. Snape stepped in first, casting a quick Lumos spell to light to torches and fireplace. His quarters were different from hers since he actually had divided rooms, where hers were all just combined in one large room, except for the bathroom of course.
"Have a seat." Snape said indication to the couch and armchairs that sat in front of the fireplace. Alex sat down in one of the dark green armchairs and watched Snape as he conjured up a pot of tea and two cups. Alex had never been much of a tea drinker before coming to England, but found herself becoming addicted to it almost like coffee. Now coffee, that was what she missed. She definitely could use a good Starbucks.
She quickly came out of her thoughts as Snape handed her the steaming cup and she took a small sip of it.
"Is it to your liking?" Snape asked as he took a seat in the armchair across from her. Alex nodded with a smile. He must have known that she liked a lot of sugar in her tea, since it was definitely how she would have made it.
"Yes, thank you."
"How long have you been afraid of storms?" Snape asked as he stirred his tea with a small spoon.
"Ever since I was a child. I guess I just never liked the loud noises." Alex admitted, blushing slightly.
"I see." Snape said.
"Were you ever afraid of anything, when you were a child? Or were you never a child?" Alex teased gently. Snape's eyes flashed warningly but continued to answer the question.
"I never did like cats much."
"Cats? Really? Cause I actually had you pinned as a cat person." Alex laughed gently.
"No. I cannot understand why anyone would like horrid animals that like to sit on your face while you sleep." Snape voiced, suppressing a shudder at the thought. Alex just laughed and shook her head, turning to look at the fire.
"Why do you detest me calling you Alexandra?" he asked after a few moments of silence. Alex looked back over at him.
"It's not just you, Sev. It just reminds me of something in the past that I have tried very hard to forget." Alex admitted. Snape looked at her closely, trying to imagine what she could be hiding.
"What is it that you are trying to forget?" he finally asked. Alex laughed lightly.
"You're not going to leave this alone, are you?" Snape just looked at her evenly. Alex sighed and set the teacup down on the table.
"When I was younger I attended the Salem Academy of Witchcraft. When I was fifteen years old, I met Scott. He was perfect. Scott was popular, gorgeous, everything I thought I had wanted in a man., at least when I was at that age."
"When we started dating, everyday I would wonder why he would pick someone like me when he could have had any girl in the school. I mean, I'm not that great. Yeah, I have my good points and all, but I was not the type of girl you would expect to be dating Scott." Alex paused for a moment, trying to gather up enough strength to let herself remember.
"At first it was great. I was living on cloud nine. But we all know that that doesn't last. Scott changed. He started getting jealous. Thought that I was cheating on him. Like that would happen. I loved him. But soon I was no longer allowed to talk to any of the guys at my school. Then not much later, he started pulling me away from my friends. He made it so that he was the only person that seemed to matter in my life. I felt so alone."
"Why didn't you just end your relationship with him?" Snape asked, over his cup of tea.
"I couldn't. I loved him. He actually made me believe that I couldn't live without him." Alex admitted.
"Did he ever hurt you?"
"Physically? No. He was too smart for that. But emotionally…yeah. He destroyed me. But my senior year I stopped it. I went to the headmistress and told her what was going on. They all pretty much knew anyway. But they couldn't do anything until I came forward and asked for help. Scott was transferred out and I went through a couple years of therapy in order to repair the damage he had done to me."
"What does that have to do with your name?" Snape asked. Alex studied him for a moment. His mask was on and Alex couldn't tell what exactly Snape was thinking. Did he think her to be foolish for letting Scott do that to her?
What Alex didn't know was that Snape was amazed how she had fought and survived. Emotional abuse was as serious and hurtful as physical. He had seen many people lose the will to fight and succumb to the abuse. His mother was one of those people.
"He would always call me Alexandra when he was angry. And when you would say my name, I would hear him. Making his wild threats, calling me names. But now, I don't hear him anymore. I guess I have gotten used to you called me Alexandra." Alex stated, giving a short laugh. They fell into silence, both just watching the flames in the fireplace.
It wasn't long that Snape realized that Alex had fallen asleep. Standing up, he gathered her up in his arms, careful to not wake her. She instinctively placed her head against his shoulder as he carried her up the stairs to her room.
"White roses." Snape said and the portrait swung open. He moved quickly inside, and placed Alex on the bed, covering her with the thick blanket. The storm had died down outside and was just a light drizzle.
He looked down at her as he tucked her in. She was so beautiful. He couldn't imagine her being broken by that moron. He couldn't help but feel amazed by the strength that she had, but idly wondered if she was fully healed as she claimed to be.
Snape brushed a stray hair off her face. Did this mean that he was falling in love with her? His head denied it but his heart spoke out louder, claiming that he felt more then he would like to admit. Even if she would even consider returning the feelings, they wouldn't be able to form any sort of relationship. It was even dangerous for him to have her as a friend. Not with the position he was in due to Voldemort. Severus feared that if the Dark Lord found out his feelings for the girl, he would use it against him, making him reveal himself as a spy or even having severe harm come to her or even himself. No, a relationship was not possible.
"Sev?" Alex whispered quietly, turning her cheek into his palm.
"Yes?" he replied, his heart feeling heavy due to his thoughts.
"Thank you." She said and fell back asleep. A small smile appeared on Snape's face as he leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"You're welcome Alexandra." He then left her room, heading back to his own.
Next Chapter: Alex confides in Lia
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