iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 1/i
In our previous season, a clone of Lash killed the real Lash and made clones of lots of people in an attempt to conquer the world. Meanwhile, Andy attacked Blue Moon because Colin outbid him on an item on eBay, but Blue Moon defeated him, and Andy, along with Nell, Max, and Sami, were all thrown in prison. Hachi took control of Orange Star, but found out he was better at controlling a shop than controlling a country, so he wanted to free the other COs held prisoner by Blue Moon, but fell asleep. However, Blue Moon has had troubles of its own...Grit finds out Colin is actually a clone, and that Olaf may be a clone himself...
Grit: Okay, we need to find a concrete way of finding out who is a clone and who isn't.
Olaf: Could you at least untie me until then?
Grit: Not until I'm sure you're not a clone.
Olaf: How can I be sure that you're not a clone?
Grit: Would a clone kill a clone?
Olaf: Good point.
Grit: Let's see...we'll need to find a clone of you and compare the two...assuming you aren't a clone, of course.
Olaf waddles in.
Grit: Aha! *surprises Olaf and ties him up*
Olaf 1: Why you little clone...how DARE you impersonate me?
Olaf 2: I could say the same to you!
Grit: Let's see...let me try the magnifying glass method. This worked in a book I once read.
Grit takes a magnifying glass and looks at both Olafs. Both look the same.
Grit: Well, there has to be SOME difference...
Olaf 1: How do you know?
Grit: I watch TV a lot. Maybe there's some kind of imperfection? Let's see the back of your neck.
Olaf 1: Um...why?
Grit: Well, on a TV show I saw, clones always had some weird thing on their neck.
Olaf 1: NOOOOO! DON'T!
Grit: I bet that's our clone, right there!
Grit looks at Olaf's neck and discovers...nothing out of the ordinary. He does the same for the other Olaf, and finds nothing strange.
Grit: Man, Olaf, why'd you make such a fuss?
Olaf 1: I don't know. I was just trying it for dramatic effect.
Grit: Okay, okay, let's try this...Now, both of you say "Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers" three times fast.
Olaf 1: Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers. Rubber Baby Buzzy Bungers. Rudder Bazy Buddy Bunkers.
Olaf 2: Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers. Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers. Rubby Baby Bugger Bumpers.
Grit: Aha! Clones can say tonguetwisters very easily. I remember Olaf couldn't say 'toyboat' even twice.
Grit shoots Olaf 2 and he turns to dust.
Olaf: Phew! Thanks for getting rid of that clone for me.
Grit: You're welcome. But we have to find the real Colin and spread the word on how to identify the clones.
bMy, that part certainly didn't have many people in it. Will Grit tell the other countries about the clones in time? Will Colin be found? Is this story too pointless? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 II: Attack of the Clones!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 2/i
In our last episode, Grit discovered a way to tell who's a clone and who isn't...apparently clones are very good at tonguetwisters.
-Black Hole-
Lash: Mwahahaha! I've made a clone of every CO! Then we clones shall RULE THE WORLD! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! *gasp* Can't breath...
Lash collapses.
-Blue Moon-
Olaf: So we have to find the real Colin.
Grit: Yep. And we might as well find the clone of myself while we're at it.
Olaf: Wait a minute...Grit, you're good at tonguetwisters, right?
Grit: Yep.
Olaf: But how can we tell the difference between you and the clone?
Grit: Good point. What's your idea?
Olaf: All right, just remember this: "Babadoombagoomba!"
Grit stares blankly at Olaf.
Olaf: If I get you mixed up with the clone, all you have to do is remember that and I'll know which is which.
Grit: Er...
Olaf: Good! I'm glad you agree! Now let's find the real Colin!
Olaf and Grit look all over for Colin, but fail to find him.
Olaf: I give up. Where is he?
You think I'd tell YOU?
Olaf: No, but it was worth a try.
Suddenly, Colin comes in.
Olaf: Narrator, I'm not sure whether to love you or hate you.
-Orange Star-
Kanbei: Sonja! It's about time you showed up!
Sonja: Whatever you say, Dad.
Kanbei: Dad? Did you call me dad? You're not the real Sonja! *slashes her and she turns to ash*
Sensei: I wonder where the real Sonja is.
In the brig of an abandoned battleship some many thousand miles from anyone...
Sonja: Did I ever mention I hate my life?
-Yellow Comet-
Kanbei: Oh well. I'm certain she'll show up eventually.
Sensei: Wait...what if YOU're a clone?
Kanbei: You can't trust your own Emperor?
Sensei: But what if you're not the real emperor?
Another Kanbei comes in.
Sensei: Oh, how are we going to know who is who?
Sensei's phone rings. It's Grit.
Grit: Hey, Sensei. I've discovered a way to tell a clone from the real person.
Sensei: That's nice. Bye.
Sensei hangs up.
Grit: Oh no! It must've been the clone!
Sensei clone: Say a tonguetwister 5 times fast.
Kanbei: Toyboat, toyboat, toybaot, toy...oh, forget it.
Kanbei clone: Good blood, bad blood. Good blood, bad blood. Good blood, bad blood. Good blood, bad blood. Good blood, bad blood.
Sensei clone: Aha! You're the real Kanbei *kills him*
Kanbei clone: Soon we clones shall rule the world!
Sensei: You're right there, except for the 'we'. *kills the Kanbei clone, who turns to ash*
Meanwhile...
Sturm: I don't like this Adder clone. *kills him and he turns to ash* I want the real one back. So, using the magical powers invested in me for only this episode, I'm going to mumble a lot of weird words and reform him from the ashes in a dramatic plot twist!
Sturm brings Adder back to life, but by pure coincidence it also brings back all the other COs who were killed earlier in this story.
Lash (real one): Ow...being turned into ashes hurts.
bWhat will happen now that all the COs are back? Will the clones be destroyed? Will I ever run out of questions (wait, didn't I ask that before?) Find out next time on Advance Wars 2.5 II!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 3/i
Last time stuff happened, including bringing all of the dead COs back to life.
-Blue Moon-
Andy: Great news, everyone! I finally managed to open the lock!
Max: Which you couldn't have done in the first place?
Andy: Hey, it had 1,000,000 different combinations! It took me a while to figure it out!
Sami: Whatever. Just let us out of here.
Andy: Oh, wait, that was just the first lock. I've got two more to go!
Max: I'm not sure whether to hate you, Andy, or Blue Moon.
Olaf opens the door.
Olaf: Colin! This isn't the door to the restroom after all!
Andy bursts out and attacks Colin in a bloody frenzy.
Colin: Ow.
Grit: At least it's not me.
Max bursts out and attacks Grit in a bloody frenzy.
Olaf: Well, at least I'm safe.
Sami and Nell burst out and attack Olaf in a bloody frenzy.
Olaf: Oh, for crying out loud!
(Some time later)
Colin, Grit, and Olaf all lie dazed on the floor.
Max: THROW THEM IN THE CELL!!!
Colin, Grit, and Olaf are all thrown into the cell and locked in.
Grit: Oh, great job Colin. Now we're stuck here.
Colin: What? How was this my fault?
Olaf: Well...it's your fault Orange Star attacked us, forcing us to incarcerate those four, and thus had them throw us in here! Not to mention that YOU told us this was the restroom!
Colin: Oh well. Seriously, how long can it take to figure out the combinations to these locks?
Olaf: You don't know?
Colin: I used to, but I forgot, okay? Do you expect me to remember that the locks are 373843, 839383, and 939313?
Grit: Say that again.
Colin: Do you expect me to remember that the locks are 373843, 839383, and 939313?!
Grit: Well, now we can get out of here, at least.
Olaf: Excellent! Thank you! I'll never yell at you again, Colin!
Colin: Then you don't mind I used your credit card account to buy that giant laser from eBay?
Olaf: Why you little *chokes Colin*
Grit: I thought you promised not to yell at him.
Olaf: I'm not yelling at him! I'm just choking him!
Grit: You sure that's safe for the boy?
Olaf: Don't worry. I saw a father do this to his son on TV.
Colin: Having...trouble...breathing...passing...out.
Grit: He looks dead. Don't you think you should let go of him?
Olaf: Oh, why not? *lets go, and Colin falls to the floor*
Grit: Don't you think you were a bit hard on him? After all, he did get us out of there.
Olaf: I was easy on him. I WANTED to rip out his vital organs, but went for choking instead.
Grit: Whatever you say, boss.
Homer: I'm going to sue you!
Olaf: What?
Homer: You took my patented choking maneuver.
Olaf: Oh, come on. I'm sure we have a lot in common.
Homer: Good point. We both have beards, are overweight, have to deal with REALLY annoying boys...tell you what, I'll cut the lawsuit in half. See ya!
Homer leaves.
Grit: I hate these crossovers.
Olaf: How'd get he in here anyway?
Bowser comes in. Grit shoots him and he runs away.
Grit: I REALLY hate these crossovers.
Olaf: How did HE get in?
Meanwhile...
Lash (real one): THIS should destroy all the clones *presses a button, and destroys the world.*
Lash: Oops.
bHow can this story continue if the world is destroyed? How can...well, I can't think of any other good questions to ask. Find out next time on Advance Wars 2.5 II (assuming, of course, that there IS a next time)./b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 4/i
In our last episode, Lash accidentally blew up the planet. Let's see what's going on now...um, nothing. Everyone was killed. Well, I guess that wasn't the best ending, but-
Lord Seth: Hey, wait a minute! You can't end the story like that! We need a GOOD conclusion!
Fine, fine. The world only APPEARED to have been destroyed, but was actually moved into another solar system, which, by pure coincidence, happened to be exactly the same as the previous one, down to the very last atom. No, really! We're not making this up!
Sturm: We're not all dead! Yay!
Sturm starts dancing around, but accidentally does a rain dance, which causes it to rain. He rusts and can't move.
Sturm: Drat.
Meanwhile...
Adder: Flak, what are you watching?
Flak: Gilligan's Island. It's my favorite episode.
Adder: Which episode is it?
Flak: The episode where they almost get off the island but don't quite make it.
Adder: Isn't that EVERY episode?
Flak: I guess so. By the way, I went on another of my killing sprees recently and killed Lash, Sturm, you, Hawke, and me, but they all turned to ash. Weird, huh?
Adder: Well, I guess that's ONE way to get rid of the clones.
Flak: I feel another one of those killing sprees coming on...grrrrrrrrrr...
Adder: Uh-oh. Not good.
Adder runs, with Flak chasing after him.
Adder: Why do I feel like I'm in an episode of Scooby Doo?
Meanwhile...
Kid: This episode makes no sense! It's just some weird guy wearing black named Flak chasing after another weird guy wearing black named Adder. Where's Scooby Doo? Where's Shaggy? Velma? Daphne? Fred? The monster? This is the worst episode of Scooby Doo EVER! *turns off the TV*
-Green Earth-
Eagle: There's a clone of Drake and Jess, but none of me! I can't believe it!
Drake: Well, there's that eagle over there...*kills it, and it turns to ash*
IMPORTANT NOTICE: This is a fiction story. In fiction stories, killing people and things can be done casually. But you shouldn't kill people in real life. Really. Honest. For the first time in this story, I'm serious here, people!
Now, back to our not-so-serious story...
Eagle: The clone of me is actually an eagle? Man, how much can a cloning machine screw up?
Drake: Hey, MY clone looked like a weird flying monster!
Eagle: How about you, Jess?
Jess: ...
Drake: A clone! *kills Jess, and I shouldn't have to mention she turns to ash*
Eagle: How'd you know it was a clone?
Drake: If she was the real Jess, she would've said something that started up an argument.
Eagle: I should've known...
Drake: Man, the clones aren't too great...they were supposed to be perfect copies!
Eagle: What are you talking about?
Drake: Didn't you read Parts 9 & 10 of Season One?
Eagle: Season One? Parts 9 & 10? WHAT are you talking about?
Drake: Nevermind.
bHow did Drake know about the different parts and seasons of this story? Will Flak stop chasing Adder? Will the real Jess be discovered? You know that some of these questions will never be answered, but for the ones that will be, be sure to check out the next episode of Advance Wars 2.5 II!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 5/i
Last time we...AAAAHHH! *narrator dies, and turns to ash*
Narrator: Man, there was even a clone of ME?! I'm not sure whether to be flattered or not. Anyway, our recap time is almost over, so it looks like
-Black Hole-
Adder: HEEEEELLLLPPPP!!! Flak is trying to kill me!
Flak: Stand still! You're making it too hard to kill you!
Adder: If I stop, will you promise not to kill me?
Flak: Sure thing!
Adder slows down.
Flak: As long as you watch EVERY movie featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000...without the funny comments.
Adder: HELP!
Adder's not the only one who needs help. In the brig of an abandoned battleship a VERY large distance from anyone...
Sonja: Why do you keep cutting back to me? Let me suffer in peace.
OK, OK. I was even going to help you out, but...
Sonja: Hey! Wait! Stop! I changed my
-Orange Star-
Hachi wakes up from a LONG nap.
Hachi: Phew! How long was I asleep?
Lord Seth: 5 episodes.
Hachi: That short? I'm going back to sleep. Zzzzzzzzzz...
Lord Seth: I hate my job.
-Blue Moon-
Grit: We're finally free! But if there's even ONE more crossover...
Sonic: What I doing here?
Grit goes into a frenzy and attacks Sonic, but Sonic is too fast for him and runs away.
Grit: How do these guys keep getting in here anyway?
Olaf: Maybe it's because of that big, gigantic portal over there.
Colin: Maybe. But who knows?
-Yellow Comet-
Kanbei: Now to destroy you, foul clones!
Kanbei kills all the clones in Yellow Comet, who all turn into you-know- what.
Kanbei: Yellow Comet is victorious!
-Black Hole-
Adder: Hawke! Help me! Flak is running after me and is trying to kill me!
Hawke: Good job, Flak!
Adder: Once Flak stops trying to kill me, I'm going to kill you, Hawke.
Hawke: Assuming Flak doesn't kill you first.
Adder: Okay Adder, think...how long do these killing sprees last again? Let's see, if memory serves right, on average they last...a week.
Hawke: I thought it was a week and a half.
Adder: HELP!!!
bWill Flak catch Adder? Will all the clones be destroyed? Will Sonja EVER be rescued? Tune in next time, to Advance Wars 2.5 II!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 6/i
Last time, a bunch of clones were killed and Flak chased after Adder.
Adder: My only hope is that he'll tire out eventually.
Flak: GRRRRAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! I bet I could keep doing this for a year!
Adder: Maybe I should start thinking up a new hope...
-Orange Star-
Newsperson: In other news, all of the clones of the Orange Star COs have been destroyed. Now let's get to the important stuff. My wife and I recently...
-Green Earth-
Eagle: Why are we looking for Red?
Drake: Her name is Jess.
Eagle: Why are we looking for her anyway?
Drake: Because if we don't, you'll be forced to argue with me instead.
Eagle: NOOOO!!! *starts searching even faster*
Jess: What you looking for?
Eagle: Don't bother me, Jess. I'm looking for Jess. *keeps searching*
Drake: Eagle, Jess is here.
Eagle: Oh! I wonder why I didn't notice you before.
Jess: Maybe because you're a self-absorbed flyboy who can't tell a Battleship from a Submarine?
Eagle: Can too! *points to a Battleship* That's a Cruiser! *points to a Submarine* And THAT'S a Battleship.
Drake: I wonder how the other COs are doing...
-Blue Moon-
Grit: Well, we've finished off all the clones. Actually, I think all the clones are finished off, even though for whatever reason we never actually saw how they were finished off.
Olaf: Shut up, Grit.
1 1/2 weeks later...
Adder: Phew! Time's finally up! Flak's killing spree is over.
Flak: GAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
Adder: Oh, wait... 1 1/2 weeks is the AVERAGE...*starts running again*
Some time later...
Adder: Okay, now Flak is FINALLY done chasing me. I wonder where we are now.
Adder discovers they are now in an abandoned battleship 20,000 miles from any shore (and about 50,000 miles from Black Hole).
Adder: I wonder how we got here.
Flak: I don't know, but I'm swimming home.
Flak jumps off the ship and starts swimming.
Adder: Oh well. Might as well take control of this ship and go to Black Hole.
In the brig...
Sonja: FINALLY! It took 2 years, but I finally managed to open this door *opens it* Now I can escape! *sees Adder* AAAAAHHHH! Adder! *jumps off the ship and drowns*
Sonja: I hate my life. Or rather, death.
And so this whacky adventure comes to an end...for now.
Lord Seth: What are you talking about? This season was much shorter than the previous one. Not to mention I'm not satisfied with the ending! Hey, I'm the writer of this story! I should have total control! Wait a minute, don't fade out! I mean it! If you do, then I'm going to
In our previous season, a clone of Lash killed the real Lash and made clones of lots of people in an attempt to conquer the world. Meanwhile, Andy attacked Blue Moon because Colin outbid him on an item on eBay, but Blue Moon defeated him, and Andy, along with Nell, Max, and Sami, were all thrown in prison. Hachi took control of Orange Star, but found out he was better at controlling a shop than controlling a country, so he wanted to free the other COs held prisoner by Blue Moon, but fell asleep. However, Blue Moon has had troubles of its own...Grit finds out Colin is actually a clone, and that Olaf may be a clone himself...
Grit: Okay, we need to find a concrete way of finding out who is a clone and who isn't.
Olaf: Could you at least untie me until then?
Grit: Not until I'm sure you're not a clone.
Olaf: How can I be sure that you're not a clone?
Grit: Would a clone kill a clone?
Olaf: Good point.
Grit: Let's see...we'll need to find a clone of you and compare the two...assuming you aren't a clone, of course.
Olaf waddles in.
Grit: Aha! *surprises Olaf and ties him up*
Olaf 1: Why you little clone...how DARE you impersonate me?
Olaf 2: I could say the same to you!
Grit: Let's see...let me try the magnifying glass method. This worked in a book I once read.
Grit takes a magnifying glass and looks at both Olafs. Both look the same.
Grit: Well, there has to be SOME difference...
Olaf 1: How do you know?
Grit: I watch TV a lot. Maybe there's some kind of imperfection? Let's see the back of your neck.
Olaf 1: Um...why?
Grit: Well, on a TV show I saw, clones always had some weird thing on their neck.
Olaf 1: NOOOOO! DON'T!
Grit: I bet that's our clone, right there!
Grit looks at Olaf's neck and discovers...nothing out of the ordinary. He does the same for the other Olaf, and finds nothing strange.
Grit: Man, Olaf, why'd you make such a fuss?
Olaf 1: I don't know. I was just trying it for dramatic effect.
Grit: Okay, okay, let's try this...Now, both of you say "Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers" three times fast.
Olaf 1: Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers. Rubber Baby Buzzy Bungers. Rudder Bazy Buddy Bunkers.
Olaf 2: Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers. Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers. Rubby Baby Bugger Bumpers.
Grit: Aha! Clones can say tonguetwisters very easily. I remember Olaf couldn't say 'toyboat' even twice.
Grit shoots Olaf 2 and he turns to dust.
Olaf: Phew! Thanks for getting rid of that clone for me.
Grit: You're welcome. But we have to find the real Colin and spread the word on how to identify the clones.
bMy, that part certainly didn't have many people in it. Will Grit tell the other countries about the clones in time? Will Colin be found? Is this story too pointless? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 II: Attack of the Clones!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 2/i
In our last episode, Grit discovered a way to tell who's a clone and who isn't...apparently clones are very good at tonguetwisters.
-Black Hole-
Lash: Mwahahaha! I've made a clone of every CO! Then we clones shall RULE THE WORLD! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! *gasp* Can't breath...
Lash collapses.
-Blue Moon-
Olaf: So we have to find the real Colin.
Grit: Yep. And we might as well find the clone of myself while we're at it.
Olaf: Wait a minute...Grit, you're good at tonguetwisters, right?
Grit: Yep.
Olaf: But how can we tell the difference between you and the clone?
Grit: Good point. What's your idea?
Olaf: All right, just remember this: "Babadoombagoomba!"
Grit stares blankly at Olaf.
Olaf: If I get you mixed up with the clone, all you have to do is remember that and I'll know which is which.
Grit: Er...
Olaf: Good! I'm glad you agree! Now let's find the real Colin!
Olaf and Grit look all over for Colin, but fail to find him.
Olaf: I give up. Where is he?
You think I'd tell YOU?
Olaf: No, but it was worth a try.
Suddenly, Colin comes in.
Olaf: Narrator, I'm not sure whether to love you or hate you.
-Orange Star-
Kanbei: Sonja! It's about time you showed up!
Sonja: Whatever you say, Dad.
Kanbei: Dad? Did you call me dad? You're not the real Sonja! *slashes her and she turns to ash*
Sensei: I wonder where the real Sonja is.
In the brig of an abandoned battleship some many thousand miles from anyone...
Sonja: Did I ever mention I hate my life?
-Yellow Comet-
Kanbei: Oh well. I'm certain she'll show up eventually.
Sensei: Wait...what if YOU're a clone?
Kanbei: You can't trust your own Emperor?
Sensei: But what if you're not the real emperor?
Another Kanbei comes in.
Sensei: Oh, how are we going to know who is who?
Sensei's phone rings. It's Grit.
Grit: Hey, Sensei. I've discovered a way to tell a clone from the real person.
Sensei: That's nice. Bye.
Sensei hangs up.
Grit: Oh no! It must've been the clone!
Sensei clone: Say a tonguetwister 5 times fast.
Kanbei: Toyboat, toyboat, toybaot, toy...oh, forget it.
Kanbei clone: Good blood, bad blood. Good blood, bad blood. Good blood, bad blood. Good blood, bad blood. Good blood, bad blood.
Sensei clone: Aha! You're the real Kanbei *kills him*
Kanbei clone: Soon we clones shall rule the world!
Sensei: You're right there, except for the 'we'. *kills the Kanbei clone, who turns to ash*
Meanwhile...
Sturm: I don't like this Adder clone. *kills him and he turns to ash* I want the real one back. So, using the magical powers invested in me for only this episode, I'm going to mumble a lot of weird words and reform him from the ashes in a dramatic plot twist!
Sturm brings Adder back to life, but by pure coincidence it also brings back all the other COs who were killed earlier in this story.
Lash (real one): Ow...being turned into ashes hurts.
bWhat will happen now that all the COs are back? Will the clones be destroyed? Will I ever run out of questions (wait, didn't I ask that before?) Find out next time on Advance Wars 2.5 II!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 3/i
Last time stuff happened, including bringing all of the dead COs back to life.
-Blue Moon-
Andy: Great news, everyone! I finally managed to open the lock!
Max: Which you couldn't have done in the first place?
Andy: Hey, it had 1,000,000 different combinations! It took me a while to figure it out!
Sami: Whatever. Just let us out of here.
Andy: Oh, wait, that was just the first lock. I've got two more to go!
Max: I'm not sure whether to hate you, Andy, or Blue Moon.
Olaf opens the door.
Olaf: Colin! This isn't the door to the restroom after all!
Andy bursts out and attacks Colin in a bloody frenzy.
Colin: Ow.
Grit: At least it's not me.
Max bursts out and attacks Grit in a bloody frenzy.
Olaf: Well, at least I'm safe.
Sami and Nell burst out and attack Olaf in a bloody frenzy.
Olaf: Oh, for crying out loud!
(Some time later)
Colin, Grit, and Olaf all lie dazed on the floor.
Max: THROW THEM IN THE CELL!!!
Colin, Grit, and Olaf are all thrown into the cell and locked in.
Grit: Oh, great job Colin. Now we're stuck here.
Colin: What? How was this my fault?
Olaf: Well...it's your fault Orange Star attacked us, forcing us to incarcerate those four, and thus had them throw us in here! Not to mention that YOU told us this was the restroom!
Colin: Oh well. Seriously, how long can it take to figure out the combinations to these locks?
Olaf: You don't know?
Colin: I used to, but I forgot, okay? Do you expect me to remember that the locks are 373843, 839383, and 939313?
Grit: Say that again.
Colin: Do you expect me to remember that the locks are 373843, 839383, and 939313?!
Grit: Well, now we can get out of here, at least.
Olaf: Excellent! Thank you! I'll never yell at you again, Colin!
Colin: Then you don't mind I used your credit card account to buy that giant laser from eBay?
Olaf: Why you little *chokes Colin*
Grit: I thought you promised not to yell at him.
Olaf: I'm not yelling at him! I'm just choking him!
Grit: You sure that's safe for the boy?
Olaf: Don't worry. I saw a father do this to his son on TV.
Colin: Having...trouble...breathing...passing...out.
Grit: He looks dead. Don't you think you should let go of him?
Olaf: Oh, why not? *lets go, and Colin falls to the floor*
Grit: Don't you think you were a bit hard on him? After all, he did get us out of there.
Olaf: I was easy on him. I WANTED to rip out his vital organs, but went for choking instead.
Grit: Whatever you say, boss.
Homer: I'm going to sue you!
Olaf: What?
Homer: You took my patented choking maneuver.
Olaf: Oh, come on. I'm sure we have a lot in common.
Homer: Good point. We both have beards, are overweight, have to deal with REALLY annoying boys...tell you what, I'll cut the lawsuit in half. See ya!
Homer leaves.
Grit: I hate these crossovers.
Olaf: How'd get he in here anyway?
Bowser comes in. Grit shoots him and he runs away.
Grit: I REALLY hate these crossovers.
Olaf: How did HE get in?
Meanwhile...
Lash (real one): THIS should destroy all the clones *presses a button, and destroys the world.*
Lash: Oops.
bHow can this story continue if the world is destroyed? How can...well, I can't think of any other good questions to ask. Find out next time on Advance Wars 2.5 II (assuming, of course, that there IS a next time)./b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 4/i
In our last episode, Lash accidentally blew up the planet. Let's see what's going on now...um, nothing. Everyone was killed. Well, I guess that wasn't the best ending, but-
Lord Seth: Hey, wait a minute! You can't end the story like that! We need a GOOD conclusion!
Fine, fine. The world only APPEARED to have been destroyed, but was actually moved into another solar system, which, by pure coincidence, happened to be exactly the same as the previous one, down to the very last atom. No, really! We're not making this up!
Sturm: We're not all dead! Yay!
Sturm starts dancing around, but accidentally does a rain dance, which causes it to rain. He rusts and can't move.
Sturm: Drat.
Meanwhile...
Adder: Flak, what are you watching?
Flak: Gilligan's Island. It's my favorite episode.
Adder: Which episode is it?
Flak: The episode where they almost get off the island but don't quite make it.
Adder: Isn't that EVERY episode?
Flak: I guess so. By the way, I went on another of my killing sprees recently and killed Lash, Sturm, you, Hawke, and me, but they all turned to ash. Weird, huh?
Adder: Well, I guess that's ONE way to get rid of the clones.
Flak: I feel another one of those killing sprees coming on...grrrrrrrrrr...
Adder: Uh-oh. Not good.
Adder runs, with Flak chasing after him.
Adder: Why do I feel like I'm in an episode of Scooby Doo?
Meanwhile...
Kid: This episode makes no sense! It's just some weird guy wearing black named Flak chasing after another weird guy wearing black named Adder. Where's Scooby Doo? Where's Shaggy? Velma? Daphne? Fred? The monster? This is the worst episode of Scooby Doo EVER! *turns off the TV*
-Green Earth-
Eagle: There's a clone of Drake and Jess, but none of me! I can't believe it!
Drake: Well, there's that eagle over there...*kills it, and it turns to ash*
IMPORTANT NOTICE: This is a fiction story. In fiction stories, killing people and things can be done casually. But you shouldn't kill people in real life. Really. Honest. For the first time in this story, I'm serious here, people!
Now, back to our not-so-serious story...
Eagle: The clone of me is actually an eagle? Man, how much can a cloning machine screw up?
Drake: Hey, MY clone looked like a weird flying monster!
Eagle: How about you, Jess?
Jess: ...
Drake: A clone! *kills Jess, and I shouldn't have to mention she turns to ash*
Eagle: How'd you know it was a clone?
Drake: If she was the real Jess, she would've said something that started up an argument.
Eagle: I should've known...
Drake: Man, the clones aren't too great...they were supposed to be perfect copies!
Eagle: What are you talking about?
Drake: Didn't you read Parts 9 & 10 of Season One?
Eagle: Season One? Parts 9 & 10? WHAT are you talking about?
Drake: Nevermind.
bHow did Drake know about the different parts and seasons of this story? Will Flak stop chasing Adder? Will the real Jess be discovered? You know that some of these questions will never be answered, but for the ones that will be, be sure to check out the next episode of Advance Wars 2.5 II!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 5/i
Last time we...AAAAHHH! *narrator dies, and turns to ash*
Narrator: Man, there was even a clone of ME?! I'm not sure whether to be flattered or not. Anyway, our recap time is almost over, so it looks like
-Black Hole-
Adder: HEEEEELLLLPPPP!!! Flak is trying to kill me!
Flak: Stand still! You're making it too hard to kill you!
Adder: If I stop, will you promise not to kill me?
Flak: Sure thing!
Adder slows down.
Flak: As long as you watch EVERY movie featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000...without the funny comments.
Adder: HELP!
Adder's not the only one who needs help. In the brig of an abandoned battleship a VERY large distance from anyone...
Sonja: Why do you keep cutting back to me? Let me suffer in peace.
OK, OK. I was even going to help you out, but...
Sonja: Hey! Wait! Stop! I changed my
-Orange Star-
Hachi wakes up from a LONG nap.
Hachi: Phew! How long was I asleep?
Lord Seth: 5 episodes.
Hachi: That short? I'm going back to sleep. Zzzzzzzzzz...
Lord Seth: I hate my job.
-Blue Moon-
Grit: We're finally free! But if there's even ONE more crossover...
Sonic: What I doing here?
Grit goes into a frenzy and attacks Sonic, but Sonic is too fast for him and runs away.
Grit: How do these guys keep getting in here anyway?
Olaf: Maybe it's because of that big, gigantic portal over there.
Colin: Maybe. But who knows?
-Yellow Comet-
Kanbei: Now to destroy you, foul clones!
Kanbei kills all the clones in Yellow Comet, who all turn into you-know- what.
Kanbei: Yellow Comet is victorious!
-Black Hole-
Adder: Hawke! Help me! Flak is running after me and is trying to kill me!
Hawke: Good job, Flak!
Adder: Once Flak stops trying to kill me, I'm going to kill you, Hawke.
Hawke: Assuming Flak doesn't kill you first.
Adder: Okay Adder, think...how long do these killing sprees last again? Let's see, if memory serves right, on average they last...a week.
Hawke: I thought it was a week and a half.
Adder: HELP!!!
bWill Flak catch Adder? Will all the clones be destroyed? Will Sonja EVER be rescued? Tune in next time, to Advance Wars 2.5 II!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 II, Part 6/i
Last time, a bunch of clones were killed and Flak chased after Adder.
Adder: My only hope is that he'll tire out eventually.
Flak: GRRRRAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! I bet I could keep doing this for a year!
Adder: Maybe I should start thinking up a new hope...
-Orange Star-
Newsperson: In other news, all of the clones of the Orange Star COs have been destroyed. Now let's get to the important stuff. My wife and I recently...
-Green Earth-
Eagle: Why are we looking for Red?
Drake: Her name is Jess.
Eagle: Why are we looking for her anyway?
Drake: Because if we don't, you'll be forced to argue with me instead.
Eagle: NOOOO!!! *starts searching even faster*
Jess: What you looking for?
Eagle: Don't bother me, Jess. I'm looking for Jess. *keeps searching*
Drake: Eagle, Jess is here.
Eagle: Oh! I wonder why I didn't notice you before.
Jess: Maybe because you're a self-absorbed flyboy who can't tell a Battleship from a Submarine?
Eagle: Can too! *points to a Battleship* That's a Cruiser! *points to a Submarine* And THAT'S a Battleship.
Drake: I wonder how the other COs are doing...
-Blue Moon-
Grit: Well, we've finished off all the clones. Actually, I think all the clones are finished off, even though for whatever reason we never actually saw how they were finished off.
Olaf: Shut up, Grit.
1 1/2 weeks later...
Adder: Phew! Time's finally up! Flak's killing spree is over.
Flak: GAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
Adder: Oh, wait... 1 1/2 weeks is the AVERAGE...*starts running again*
Some time later...
Adder: Okay, now Flak is FINALLY done chasing me. I wonder where we are now.
Adder discovers they are now in an abandoned battleship 20,000 miles from any shore (and about 50,000 miles from Black Hole).
Adder: I wonder how we got here.
Flak: I don't know, but I'm swimming home.
Flak jumps off the ship and starts swimming.
Adder: Oh well. Might as well take control of this ship and go to Black Hole.
In the brig...
Sonja: FINALLY! It took 2 years, but I finally managed to open this door *opens it* Now I can escape! *sees Adder* AAAAAHHHH! Adder! *jumps off the ship and drowns*
Sonja: I hate my life. Or rather, death.
And so this whacky adventure comes to an end...for now.
Lord Seth: What are you talking about? This season was much shorter than the previous one. Not to mention I'm not satisfied with the ending! Hey, I'm the writer of this story! I should have total control! Wait a minute, don't fade out! I mean it! If you do, then I'm going to
