iAdvance Wars 2.5 III, Part 1/i
There's no need for a recap of the previous season, really. No, really! Well, Sonja drowned in the previous episode, if you need to know.
-Black Hole-
Sturm: Our previous invasions have failed miserably.
Hawke: So we give up?
Sturm: NO! We try again like the morons we are!
Lash: So what country do we conquer this time?
Sturm: I say Yellow Comet!
Flak: But Kanbei's troops are really strong!
Sturm: Not really. After carefully examining them for the past 5 years, I've finally come to the conclusion that to weaken him all you have to do is capture his bases. His units are expensive, so less bases, less units! His only weakness is that he relies so much on funds...
Everyone stares at Sturm.
Hawke: It took you FIVE years to figure that out?
Sturm: Yes. But that's not too long, is it?
Everyone stares at Sturm again.
-Yellow Comet-
Kanbei: You know, I'm growing concerned. We haven't seen Sonja for over 2 years.
Sensei: Who's Sonja?
Soldier: Sir! We found Sonja! Or rather, her body. *drag her corpse in*
Kanbei: She's still sleeping? Honestly...
Soldier: No, she's dead.
Kanbei: Am I supposed to start having a nervous breakdown and sobbing?
Soldier: I assume so...
Kanbei starts crying and has a nervous breakdown.
-Green Earth-
Eagle: So how is the new army coming along?
Drake: We're 3/100 done!
Eagle: Well, hurry up! I want it 100% done in one year!
Drake: Er...I think it might take a little longer than that.
Eagle: How much longer?
Drake: Let's see...at the current rate, I'd say it would take roughly 97 years.
Eagle: That's too long! Just multiply your efforts by 97!
Drake: Well, why don't YOU try to make the army?
Eagle: Fine! I will!
One week later...
Eagle: The army's all done!
Drake: ...
Jess: ...
Eagle: At a loss for words, eh?
Drake: No, our mouths were just full.
Meanwhile...
Kanbei (looking through a spellbook): Let's see...Levitation, Giant Growth, Lightning Bolt, Disenchant...ah, here it is, Raise Dead. I need...oh, forget it! This is too much! *throws the spellbook away*
Sensei: Good news, Kanbei! Using the magical powers invested in me for just this episode, I brought Sonja back to life! Unfortunately, she seems a bit woozy.
Later...
Kanbei: Ah, you're alive!
Sonja: I know I'm supposed to say something funny right now, but I can't think of anything.
-Blue Moon-
Teacher: Now that our school has been rebuilt, I'm pleased to say classes can begin! Unfortunately, everyone will have to be moved up 2 grades. Sorry!
Colin: I'm in the 10th grade now? Oh, I can't believe I have to go to a new school.
Teacher: But this school has Kindergarten through 12th grade, plus a college! It's just a different PART of the school.
Colin: Oh.
A short time later...
Colin: Algebra? Pythagorean Theorem? Factoring? Substitution? I never learned THIS stuff in 8th grade! And we're supposed to know it already?
Teacher: Too bad! Your homework is pages 1-50 in the textbook.
Colin faints.
Later...
Colin: Will you do my homework for me?
Olaf: Why, sure I will! Just take over my CO duties for me, will you?
Colin: Sure thing! (heh, heh, who's going to attack us?)
A short time later...
No one attacked. Ha! Gotcha, didn't I?
The day after the next...
Colin: 0%? This can't be 0%! I let Olaf do this. No, wait, that must have been WHY I got 0%. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to study hard, do the work, and pay attention. That is, if I were the desperate type....
Later...
Sturm: You want ME to do YOUR homework?
Colin: I'll give you hot dogs.
Sturm: Oh! Why didn't you say so? Just give me one hot dog for every question I answer.
Colin: A hot dog for EACH?!
Sturm: Look at me, I'm Colin, who was held back 10 times just because he couldn't get his homework done!
Colin: Fine, fine. It's a deal.
Later...
Grit: Why are you carrying all those hot dogs, Colin?
Colin: Um...er...
bWill Colin think of a good enough excuse? Will Sturm do Colin's homework better than Olaf did? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 III!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 III, Part 2/i
Last time, Colin got Sturm to agree to do his homework for him, as long as Colin gave Sturm a lot of hot dogs. Unfortunately, he's been stopped by Grit, and Colin is having trouble thinking of an excuse...
Colin: I'm taking all these hot dogs...um...er...for...
Grit: You're giving them to Sturm in exchange for doing your homework.
Colin: How'd you know?
Grit: Call it a hunch.
Olaf comes in.
Olaf: I know what you're doing with all those hot dogs!
Colin: *sigh* How'd YOU know I'm giving them to Sturm in exchange for him doing my homework?
Olaf: Actually, I thought you were starting a hot dog company.
Colin: Um...actually, that IS what I'm doing. I'm starting a hot dog company!
Olaf: But you said...
Colin: I misspoke.
Olaf: Okay. *leaves*
Grit: Sheesh...Olaf may be smart when it comes to military, but when it comes to common sense...
Colin: Well, I'm off to give Sturm these hot dogs.
Grit: Wouldn't it be smarter to just learn the stuff yourself?
Colin: But this is easier!
Grit: But you don't know the material! What about tests?
Colin: I'll think of something...
-Orange Star-
Andy: You want ME to impersonate you and take your tests?!
Colin: Yep.
Andy: And what makes you think I'll do that?!
Colin: I have this picture of you!
Colin shows Andy a picture. Unfortunately, the cameraman was too lazy to move, so we don't see what it is. Andy turns pale.
Andy: Okay...okay...whatever you want...
Colin: And I want ALL A's! Or at least a D.
Andy: I'll do it...
Colin: THAT was sure easy.
A short time later...
Andy: I need you to impersonate being Colin and take his tests.
Max: And why should I...?
Andy: I have this picture!
Andy shows Max a picture, and, once again, the cameraman is too lazy to move and we don't see it.
Max: Okay...what do you want me to do?
Andy: Just make sure you get a C or above on the tests.
Max: Got it.
Later...
Sami: You want ME to take Colin's tests for him?
Max: And if you don't get at least B's on them, you'll be in real trouble.
Sami: What kind of trouble?
Max: THIS kind of trouble!
Max shows Sami a picture, but we...oh, you know.
Later...
Sonja: You want ME to fill in for you and take Colin's tests for him?
You know the rest...
Later...
Sonja: So I have to get A's on all his tests...but how the heck am I supposed to look like Colin?! There's GOT to be a better way...
-Blue Moon-
Colin: You'll hack into the school's database and let me know the answers ahead of time?
Sonja: Yes.
Colin: Why? I already arranged for Andy to take my tests for me.
Sonja: Um...well...I'll do this for you anyway!
Colin: Fine.
Sonja: But...can I give you some advice?
Colin: Yes...?
Sonja: Be sure to get some of the answers wrong. That way it won't look like you cheated.
Colin: Fine. Whatever. As long as you get me the answers. (Heh, heh, now I won't even need to have Andy fill in for me!)
Sonja: When's the next test?
Colin: In 1 or 2 weeks.
1 or 2 weeks later...
Sonja: Got it! Here's all the answers. Memorize them, but try to get some wrong, okay?
Colin: Yeah, sure, whatever.
The next day...
Teacher: I'm sorry, everyone, but someone hacked into the computer network and stole the answers to this test. So, I have to give you an even harder one.
Colin: Uh-oh.
The next day...
Colin: Well, I did better than before. At least I got a 1%.
-Yellow Comet-
Colin: SONJA! They caught you hacking and I only got a 1%!
Sonja: Too bad!
Colin: YOU're sure not interested in helping me anymore...*grumble*. Oh well. Better put this picture of Andy on the internet for everyone to see. Heh, heh, this'll be the day.
A short time later...
Andy: WHAT?! Max screwed up. Better put this picture on the internet.
Still later...
Max: Grrrr...looks like Sami didn't do her job. Guess I'd better upload this picture.
And still later...
Sami: Argh! Better put this picture of Sonja on the internet.
bWill Colin EVER get good grades? Will Black Hole hurry up and try to conquer Yellow Comet already? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 III!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 III, Part 3/i
Last time, Colin screwed up in his attempt to avoid taking tests. So now he's trying again...
Colin: There's gotta be a good idea...maybe I can bribe the teachers! No, bad idea, one of them might tell on me...there's gotta be SOMETHING.
Grit: Have you tried just studying?
Colin: No. But that's too tiring.
Grit: And trying all these schemes of yours isn't?!
Colin: How'd YOU do in school?
Grit: Actually, I got A's in every class except gym. I got a B+ in that...
Colin: How?
Grit: Guess.
Colin: You hacked into the computers and stole the answers?
Grit: Nope. I just studied. Besides, they didn't have computers then.
Colin: Oh no, I know what you're doing. You're trying to put some big moral lesson into this story, aren't you? Quick! Narrator! Cut to someplace else!
-Black Hole-
Sturm: Are we all ready?
Flak: Yes.
Lash: Yes.
Adder: Yes.
Hawke: No. I mean, yes.
Sturm: Now, invade Yellow Comet! But be sure to attack the hot dog stores first.
-Yellow Comet-
Kanbei: Sonja! I just found out you hacked into the computer of one of the Blue Moon schools.
Sonja: So?
Kanbei: THROW HER IN THE DUNGEON!!!
Soldier: I didn't know we had a dungeon.
Kanbei: We do. It just hasn't been used for 100 years.
Sonja: But...but...
Kanbei: TOO BAD! TAKE HER AWAY!
The soldiers drag Sonja away.
Sonja: I hate my life.
-Green Earth-
Eagle: Got any Drake's?
Drake: Go fish.
Eagle draws a card. We now see that instead of the King, Queen, and Jester cards, there are Eagle, Jess, and Drake cards.
Jess: Bad news, Eagle. We're being attacked!
Eagle: If it's Yellow Comet AGAIN...
Drake: Nope, it's just Black Hole.
Eagle: Oh. Got any 4's?
Drake: I thought it was my turn.
Eagle: Fine, go.
Drake: Got any 4's?
Eagle: Go fish.
Drake: I hate playing with you.
Meanwhile...
Flak: I thought we were going to attack Yellow Comet!
Sturm: Changed my mind.
Hawke: Changed your mind? You just lost the map and ended up here instead!
Sturm: Adder, why didn't you take the map like you were supposed to?
Adder: I didn't know where it was!
Sturm: What do you mean?! I gave it to you 2 years ago! How could you lost it?
Adder: I died, remember?
Sturm: Excuses, excuses.
bWill Black Hole actually invade anything? Will Colin think of a scheme that actually works? Will this story ever end? To find out, keep reading Advance Wars 2.5 III!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 III, Part 4/i
CO Name: Lord Seth
Description: A mysterious CO who rarely shows up. Rumored to be from another world.
Strengths/Weaknesses: All units have +30% firepower. All units have -20% defense.
CO Power: Increases firepower of his units by +30%. Additionally, decreases their defense by 10%.
Super CO Power: Increases firepower of units by 50% and decreases their defense by 20%. Decreases defenses of opponents' units by 10%.
Hit: Writing
Miss: Computer viruses
I don't have writer's block! My...keyboard's just broken! Yeah!
There is absolutely no point in what we just said, but we put it in anyway.
Previously, Black Hole decided to invade Green Earth. Let's see how they're doing...
Lash: I don't think we can get past their defenses.
Sturm: What kind of defenses do they have?
Lash: To get through, we'd have to watch Manos: The Hands of Fate.
Hawke: Manos: The Hands of Fate?
Lord Seth: It's an in-joke.
Adder: Ah. Oh well. It can't be that bad, can it?
Some time later...
Sturm: That wasn't that bad. What did you guys think?
Sturm turns to see the other Black Hole COs in a state of shock.
Sturm (on the phone): Yes, Dr. Forrester? I have some good news for you...
Lord Seth: ANOTHER in-joke?
Sturm: YOU'RE the writer! Don't complain!
Lord Seth: I hate my job.
-Orange Star-
Andy (at the store): Let's see...I'd better buy some more wrenches. They cost...$1,000 EACH?! WHAT?! Who's behind this?
Meanwhile...
Hachi: Mwahahaha! I've bought out nearly every company in Orange Star! Now I can jack up the prices all I want!
Employee: Aren't you worried you'll be in trouble with the government for being a monopoly?
Hachi: They don't have laws against that.
Employee: Oh yeah...I'm thinking of the United States.
Hachi: What's the United States?
Employee: Enh.
-Blue Moon-
Grit: So, Colin, how goes your latest scheme to avoid working in school?
Colin: I've decided to do it the normal way: Study, do the work, and take notes.
Grit: Really?
Colin: Of course not! What do you take me for?!
Grit: A horrible student who always tries to take the easy way out but always fails?
Colin: Exactly!
-Green Earth-
Soldier: Sir! Black Hole got through our defenses!
Eagle: If they got through, they're probably dazed from having to watch that movie. Just attack them and force them out.
Soldier: Yes, sir!
Later...
Sturm: Well, that invasion didn't go well. Let's try Orange Star this time.
-Orange Star-
Andy: It's an outrage! Everything costs too much!
Citizen: Yeah! The TV I wanted cost $1,000,000!
Citizen 2: And the computer I wanted was $2,000,000!
Citizen 3: And gas has gone up to $10 a gallon!
Everyone stares at Citizen 3.
Citizen 3: What?
bWhat kind of trouble is Hachi in for? What will Colin's latest scheme be? What IS it with me and in-jokes? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 III!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 III, Part 5/i
Last time...oh, why do I even bother with these recaps?
-Blue Moon-
Colin: I've got a new idea on how to ace tests without trying!
Grit: Let's hope it works, because you flunked three tests in a row while trying to think of how to do them without studying.
Colin: It's a sure thing! I just have to use this brain-enhancer to make myself super-intelligent!
Grit: I'm not sure if that's a good idea...
Colin: Oh, what could go wrong?
Colin uses the brain-enhancer.
Grit: So how'd it go?
Colin: I'm only 2 years old.
Grit: Oh no! It must've backfired and made him even dumber!
Colin: Can can, can you do the can-can, can you do the can-can, can you do the can can can can can can can can...
Grit: Let's see if I can work out a remedy.
Meanwhile...
Lash: I've got a brilliant idea! Everyone in Orange Star is fed up over the rising prices, so how about we encourage revolt and then take over during the fighting that follows?
Hawke: Excellent idea, Lash. I'm so happy I thought of it.
Sturm: Excellent idea, Hawke. I'm so happy I thought of it.
-Yellow Comet-
In the dungeon...
Sonja: I hate my life.
Guard: Hey, we remembered to bring you bread and water!
Sonja: It's about time. What has it been, 3 days now?
Guard: Here you go!
Sonja: Hey! The bread is stale and the water tastes like slime.
Guard: You've tasted slime?
Sonja: Well, no, but...
Guard: Then don't talk! I'll have you know that I tried the water, and it tastes NOTHING like slime!
Guard leaves.
Sonja: I hate my life. Might as well put myself out of my misery.
Sonja takes out a knife out of nowhere.
Sonja: Oh, happy dagger...
Knife: Happy? You think I'm HAPPY?! I'm not happy! I'm fed up with all you humans. And I'm a knife, not a dagger! The morons never end! Sheesh.
The knife slides under the door and leaves.
Sonja: Note to self: NEVER quote a character from a Shakespeare play.
Knife (outside the door): What's Shakespeare?
Sonja: Enh.
-Orange Star-
Citizen 1: Down with the monopolists! Down with Hachi! Hail Lord Seth!
Citizen 2: Lord Seth?
Citizen 1: Enh.
-Blue Moon-
Grit: Well, I think I finally made something that'll fix your brain up.
Grit attaches a machine to Colin and presses the on' button. Colin promptly blows up.
Grit: Back to the drawing board!
-Yellow Comet-
Kanbei: Why do I have the feeling I'm forgetting something?
Sensei: Don't ask me. I can't even remember my name.
Kanbei: Hmmmm...
In the dungeon...
Sonja: I think I'll make a list of things I hate. Number one, my life. Number two, this place. Number three...
Some time later...
Sonja: Number one million and three, my life. Number one million and four, the world. Number one million and five...
-Blue Moon-
Grit: Well, here goes.
Grit presses a button.
Grit: This should bring Colin back.
The world blows up instead.
Grit: Not AGAIN...
bIs the world really destroyed? If not, will Colin be back? What's going to happen in Orange Star? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 III!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 III, Part 6/i
Last time, Grit accidentally blew up Colin. Then he accidentally blew up the world.
Lord Seth: Oh, great. How can I fix this? Come to think of it, who am I talking to anyway?
StarFoxRocks: I think you're talking to me.
Lord Seth: And how do you keep getting here anyway?
StarFoxRocks: See that warp over there?
Lord Seth: Yep.
StarFoxRocks: It wasn't through there.
Lord Seth: Ah.
StarFoxRocks: So what now?
Lord Seth: Could you get out of here? Please? Before something bad happens to you? Bad things ALWAYS seem to happen to everyone...
StarFoxRocks: Fine. *leaves*
An anvil falls just where StarFoxRocks was before.
Lord Seth: Now I just have to figure out how to make the story continue from here.
Sentinel22: Why don't you just bring the planet and everyone on it back with your strange, magic-like powers given to you for only this episode?
Lord Seth: That has got to be the worst running gag in this story, but great idea!
Sentinel22: How long will this take?
Lord Seth: I don't know. But it can't be that long, can it?
6.31152x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10 seconds later...
Adder: Yes! We're not dead!
Flak: Awwww...I was in this wonderful place with fire and brimestone and little guys in red pajamas...
Lash: You got fire AND brimestone?! I got stuck with only fire. Lucky you.
-Blue Moon-
Grit: So now you're back to normal, Colin?
Colin: Yep! And here's my latest idea on how to avoid studying...
Grit: Sometimes normal' isn't a good thing...
-Orange Star-
Employee: Sir! People are complaining loudly about your high prices!
Hachi: You know, the fact that I died and came back has made me realize how much people enjoy life.
Employee: So you'll lower the prices?
Hachi: NO! I'm going to double them all!
Employee: Yes, sir!
Some time later...
Nell: Well, the prices are doubled. Only one thing to do.
Government Worker: What?
Nell: TRIPLE the amount of money in circulation! That way money will be worth less, so the high prices won't matter as much.
Government Worker: You're a genius! *leaves*
Andy: Hey! That was MY idea!
Nell: Well, don't talk about your ideas so openly!
Andy: I didn't say anything about it! I just wrote it down in my computer!
Nell: Hey, my computer accidentally-on-purpose hacked into your computer and for some reason stole that from your computer and put it into mine. Don't blame me, blame my computer.
Andy: Stupid Nell...
Nell: STUPID?! Send him to the dungeon!
Soldiers drag Andy into the Yellow Comet dungeon.
Sonja: So, what are you in for?
Andy: What's it like here?
Sonja: Well, if you can get used to the food, it's okay...
Andy: Have you gotten used to the food?
Sonja: No.
Andy: LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! There's got to be some way to escape...
Sonja: Don't bother. I've tried every way out of here.
Andy turns the doorknob and comes out.
Sonja: I hate you.
bWhy aren't I asking better questions? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 III!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 III, Part 7/i
Last time, stuff happened, none of which really needs to be repeated.
-Black Hole-
Sturm: Well, the exploding of the planet put a wrench in our plans.
Hawke: No, Andy was the one who did that. See?
Hawke points to a large piece of paper labeled Our Plans'. One of Andy's wrenches has ripped through it.
Sturm: No, you idiot! It was a figure of speech!
Hawke: No, THIS is a figure of speech!
Hawke holds up a large statue of the word Speech'.
Sturm: Grrrr...100 Push-Ups!
Hawke: Way ahead of you, Lord Sturm.
Hawke holds up 100 signs with the word Push' on them and an arrow pointing up.
Sturm: I give up!
Hawke: If you give the up', can I have it?
Sturm: AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
-Orange Star-
Employee: Sir, the amount of money in circulation has tripled.
Hachi: Tripled, eh? Guess we'll have to quadruple our prices.
Employee: Fine.
Some time later...
Nell: They quadrupled their prices? Better pentuple the amount of money in circulation!
Government worker: Is that even a word?
Nell: I don't care! But just multiply it by 5!
Government Worker: Okay!
Some time later...
Nell: I want you to double the amount of money in circulation!
Government Worker: But we've already multipled the amount that there was at the beginning of all of this by a number so large I can't even remember it!
Nell: Just do it!
Later...
Citizen: Help! I can't breath, there's so much money around me!
Citizen 2: You can't breath? Big deal. I can't feel my legs.
Citizen 3: I can't feel my legs, my arms, my feet, my hands, OR my head!
Citizen 4: You know what this means...
All 4 Citizens: REVOLT!!!!!!
Later...
Olaf: Orange Star had another revolution.
Grit: It wasn't even on the front cover of the newspaper! Man, do they really have revolutions THAT often?
Olaf: Well, let's see how many there has been.
Olaf goes to a war marked Orange Star Revolutions. There are so many marks on it, someone can't tell how many there are.
Grit: Forget what I said.
Colin: We have to make sure Andy is rescued! He can't be killed in the revolution! I may try to kill him or imprison him on occasion, but we're friends!
Grit: He owes you money, doesn't he?
Colin: $110.
Grit: Well, don't worry. Andy's in the Yellow Comet dungeon.
Colin: Nevermind then.
-Green Earth-
Eagle: Argh! I can't stand it!
Drake: What?
Eagle: That I have such a horrible theme music!
Drake: That is a problem...
Eagle: How can I fix this?
Drake: Contact the game programmers?
Eagle: Game programmers?
Drake: Enh.
bWhat will Black Hole's newest (and likely unsuccessful) plan be? Will Eagle change his theme? What will happen to Orange Star now? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 III!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 III, Part 8/i
Last time, Orange Star went through another revolt, Andy & Sonja escaped from the Yellow Comet dungeon, and Eagle tried to change his theme music.
Game Designer: Well, how about this music?
Eagle: Hate it.
Game Designer: This music?
Eagle: Hate it.
Game Designer: THIS theme music?
Eagle: Hate it.
Some time later...
Game Designer: THIS theme music?
Eagle: Love it!
Game Designer: This IS your theme music!
Eagle: Well, now that I see the alternatives, I think I'll stay with this one.
Game Designer: And the moral of this story is...there are no morals in this story!
-Orange Star-
Citizen: Hear me! All of the Orange Star COs have been killed! We are now free to create our own, non-military government!
Citizen 2: How do we do that?
Citizen: I have NO idea.
-Yellow Comet-
Andy: ALL the COs (except for me) in Orange Star have been killed?
Sonja: Yep.
Andy: Drat. How do we bring them back?
Sonja: Well, if you use the magical powers invested in you for just one episode...
Andy: That doesn't work.
Sonja: Must be a different episode, then. Or a different person.
-Black Hole-
Sturm: Well, we failed in our invasion of Blue Moon. And Green Earth. That just leaves Yellow Comet and Orange Star.
Hawke: Can't we just try to re-invade Blue Moon?
Sturm: No.
Hawke: Why?
Sturm: We took all their hot dogs, remember?
Hawke: Oh yeah...
Lash: Look at my most brilliant invention yet! I call it the XL21J25JK125JK521KLJK1KJ3JK13KJ31JK13JKL31KJ21K32JKL31KJ31KL31KLKL, or the XL212LK3K3K3L3L3K3K3 for short.
Sturm: How about a short version for the short version?
Lash: Fine. The XL213.
Sturm: What does it do?
Lash: Nothing. That's what makes it so great!
Sturm: How is THAT great?
Lash: It means it has no chance of backfiring and causing any harm to us!
The XL whatchamacallit falls over and crushes Lash flat.
Lash: Once I'm done being dead, I'll need to recheck my calculations...
-Orange Star-
Citizen: So, how's it going?
Citizen 2: Same as whenever we have a revolution: Bad.
Citizen: What's the problem this time?
Citizen 2: An evil genius had built a laser cannon and is threatening to kill us all with it unless we give him control of the government.
Citizen: That's it? I was hoping it would be something cool this time. You know, like an evil genius had built a laser cannon and is threatening to kill us all with it unless we give him control of the government.
-Yellow Comet-
Kanbei: You want ME to send troops to Orange Star to return it to military rule?
Andy: Yes.
Kanbei: And why should I do that?
Andy: Um...no reason?
Kanbei: No reason is a good enough reason for me! INVADE!!!
bWhat's going to happen next? Find out next time on Advance Wars 2.5 III!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 III, Part 9/i
Read the previous part if you want to know what happened, lazy bones!
-Orange Star-
Citizen: Look! It's a bird!
Citizen 2: It's a plane!
Citizen 3: It's Mickey Mouse!
Citizen & Citizen 2 stare at Citizen 3.
Citizen 3: What?
Citizen 4: You're all wrong! It's the Bombers, Fighters, B Copters, and T Copters of the Yellow Comet army.
The B Copters and Bombers wreak havoc on Orange Star while the infantry drop out of the T Copter and take over the cities.
Citizen 1030303: Is there no one who can save us?!
Citizen 4: Look! It's a bird!
Citizen 5: It's a plane! Wait, nevermind, it IS a bird.
Some time later...
Kanbei: Well, we've demolished Orange Star and conquered its cities. Unfortunately, everyone either fled or died in the attempt.
Andy: So I'm ruler of nothing?
Kanbei: Looks that way.
Hidden fighters swarm up and kill Andy, then run away.
Kanbei: Oh well. Better head home.
Kanbei and the Yellow Comet army all leave.
Lord Seth: Oh great. Now all the Orange Star COs are dead.
Hachi: I'm not!
A soldier shows up and shoots Hachi.
Hachi: Scratch that.
-Black Hole-
Sturm: INVADE ORANGE STAR!!!
Adder: But it's a desolate wasteland now. We'd just be wasting our time.
Sturm: Good point. insert comical phrase here
Adder: insert comical response to comical phrase here
Sturm: insert non-comical response to comical response to comical phrase here
-Blue Moon-
Colin: I figured out a way to pass the tests easily! Look! *holds up a test with the letter A' stamped on it*
Grit: How'd you do it?
Colin: I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you.
Grit: Tell me.
Colin: Fine. All I did was
PLEASE STAND BY. WE ARE NOW EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.
Colin: and that's how I did it!
Grit: Interesting.
Colin: Now I have to kill you, though.
Colin attacks Grit, but Grit whips out a gun and kills Colin first.
Grit: What's with all the deaths lately?
-Black Hole-
Sturm: Behold! My giant missile platform!
Lash: Wasn't this plan already used?
Sturm: I will launch the missile and destroy the world!
Lash: Won't you be killed also?
Sturm: Nope. I'll be out in space by then.
Lash: Why do you want to destroy the world anyway?
Sturm: Why did the Wright brothers fly? Why did Columbus discover America? Why did the United States break away from Britain and form their own country? And why did what's-his-name invent the whatchamacallit?!
Lash: Why?
Sturm: Because they CAN! Well, money, freedom, and fame may have had something to do with it...
Lash: But I have a question.
Sturm: What?
Lash: Who are the Wright brothers, Columbus, what's-his-name, and what is America, the United States, the whatchamacallit, and Britain?
Sturm: Enh.
Police: You're under arrest!
Sturm: What?
Police: We're the running gag police, and we've been keeping track of the number of times that running gag was used, and you just went one over the legal limit. Arrest him!
The police officers handcuff and drag Sturm away.
Sturm: I'LL BE BACK! You'll see...I'LL BE BACK!!!
Police: Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge.
Lash: Phew!
Police: Hey! You helped Sturm out on his use of the running gag, so you're under arrest too!
Lash: Drat.
bWhat will happen to Lash and Sturm? How will the dead COs come back? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 III!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 III, Part 10/i
Last time, Lash & Sturm were arrested and thrown in prison for overusing a running gag. Let's see how they're doing...
Lash: Guard! Guard! You have to let me out of this dump! I need light! Help! The walls are closing in on me! I've forgotten what it's like to be outside already!
Sturm: Lash, we've been here for one minute.
Lash: Oh yeah...
Guard: Just so you know, you two have been found guilty.
Sturm: WHAT?! We don't even get a trial!
Guard: Nope. Sorry.
Sturm: But the Constitution...
Guard: What's a constitution?
Sturm: Enh.
Guard: You just doubled your sentence.
Sturm: Argh! Why did I have to use that running gag again?
Lash: How much more is the sentence?
Guard: Well, it was 100 years plus one life sentence. Now it's 200 years plus two life sentences!
Lash: I was expecting some pun with the word , but I guess it wouldn't have been very punny.
Guard: You're lucky we're not the bad joke police.
-Black Hole-
Hawke: Now that Sturm is gone, I've taken control.
Adder: This seems awfully familiar...
-Orange Star-
Andy: Look at my newest and greatest invention! I call it, The Restart 2000!
Max: What's it do?
Andy: Well, using the mechanisms within it, I have been able to reset the time-space continuum, although only in essence, you see. We aren't actually progressing...
One hour later...
Andy: ...and that's what it does!
Dee Dee: Oooh! What does THIS button do?
Andy: NO! STOP!
Max: Not ANOTHER crossover...
Dee Dee pushes the red button.
Andy: I'm not certain whether to be more worried that she pressed it, or that the crossovers are getting dumber.
bWhat will happen now that the Restart machine has, well, whatever it does! Will Sturm and Lash ever get out of prison? How did Andy & Max suddenly come back to life? Find out next season, on Advance Wars 2.5 IV!/b
