iAdvance Wars 2.5 IV, Part 1/i

Last season, Dee Dee (who somehow got into this story) pushed a button on a restart machine, and Sturm & Lash got themselves arrested by the running gag police.

Max: What happened?

Andy: The storyline's been reset in Orange Star, Green Earth, Blue Moon, and Yellow Comet.

Max: The point of is...

Andy: It's a lame attempt by the author to avoid having to keep track of the various storylines that were going on. How pathetic can you get?

Lord Seth: I resent that.

-Black Hole-

Hawke: Now I am ruler of the Black Hole army.

Adder: So what are you going to do?

Hawke: Get rid of all the hot dogs.

Meanwhile...

Sturm: NOOOOOO!!! Hawke got rid of all the hot dogs!

Lash: How did you know that?

Sturm: It's a seventh sense for me.

Lash: What's the sixth sense?

Sturm: I see dead people.

Lash: I'm sorry I asked.

Sturm: I see dead people...all the time.

Lash: I'm REALLY sorry I asked.

-Yellow Comet-

Sonja: The Black Hole army is invading!

Kanbei: Who cares?

Sonja: What do you mean? If they conquer Yellow Comet, we're all doomed!

Kanbei: Good point. Send Sensei.

Some time later...

Soldier: Aren't we supposed to be at a battle or something, sir?

Sensei: We were supposed to have a battle?

Soldier: How bad IS your memory?

Sensei: What were we talking about?

Soldier: Forget I asked.

Sensei: Forget what?

Soldier: Thank you!

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: I have terrible news!

Grit: What?

Olaf: An anime character convention is meeting in Blue Moon!

Grit: So?

Olaf: They're planning to conquer us all!

Grit: So?

Olaf: So we'll all be enslaved!

Grit: So?

Olaf: So bad stuff will happen!

Grit: So?

Olaf: STOP ASKING QUESTIONS! Just infiltrate the place and find out their plans, and stop them!

Grit: But I don't look like an anime character!

Olaf: It's easy! Just put giant contact lenses in your eyes and somehow make your mouth really big when you talk.

Grit: Easy for you to say.

Olaf: DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED!

Grit: Fine, Frosty.

Olaf: Frosty?! Is that how you address your superior?!

Grit: ...

Olaf: No, really, is it? I honestly don't know.

-Green Earth-

Drake: We don't get enough screen time.

Jess: We're not on a screen.

Drake: It's a figure of speech.

Jess: No, THIS-

Drake: No. I don't want to go through that joke again.

Jess: Well, there's got to be SOMETHING to do...

Drake: Why does it matter?

Jess: Do you want to be in this story? Because the most we've gotten lately is Eagle trying to get his theme music changed.

Drake: How about we attack Orange Star?

Jess: Are we really THAT desperate?

Drake: No. Let's go for Black Hole instead.

Jess: Fine.

-Black Hole-

Flak: Bad news! The Green Earth army is attacking!

Hawke: Who are they being led by?

Flak: The Green Earth COs, of course!

Hawke: I meant WHICH Commanding Officer?

Flak: All of them!

Hawke: I should have known.

Flak: Yeah, you should have.

Hawke: Hey, don't criticize my intelligence when your own is that of an ape!

Flak: I'm not going to take this abuse. *leaves*

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: So are you ready to infiltrate the anime character's convention?

Grit: Sure. But do I REALLY have to be dressed up like this?

Grit is dressed up (badly) like an anime character whose name escapes me (you know, the skinny one?).

Olaf: Fine! Now go!

Later...

Receptionist: What's your name?

Grit: insert name of what's-his-name here

Receptionist: You don't look like insert name here.

Grit: So can I go through?

Receptionist: Sure!

Grit enters and sees lots of anime characters.

Grit: Hmmmmm...

A while later...

Grit: Well, we no longer have to fear the anime characters taking over.

Olaf: Why?

Grit: I arranged for people to work really hard to take out as many things from the shows as possible when they're brought to the US.

Lord Seth: And THAT's why animes are always chopped up when brought from Japan to the US!

Olaf: Brilliant, Grit! But I have one question.

Grit: What?

Olaf: What's the US?

Grit: The United States.

Running Gag Police: Darn. I was hoping we would make an arrest. *leaves*

Grit: What just happened?

Olaf: I don't know. But what are the United States?

Grit: A country in North America.

Olaf: What's North America?

Grit: A continent on Earth.

Olaf: What's Earth?

Grit: Another planet.

Olaf: Ah.

Meanwhile...

Lash: Well Sturm, we should be able to escape now.

Sturm: Let me guess, we escape using something at least 1000 people have escaped previously with?

Lash: Exactly.

Sturm: ...which will never be revealed for some lame reason?

Lash: Yep. The interupption should be starting about

WE INTERUPPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM WITH AN ADVERTISEMENT.

Lord Seth: Hello everyone! This is a conveniently placed advertisement for Advance Wars! So, um, be sure to get it! And maybe Advance Wars 2 while you're at it! Thank you!

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR STORY, AND WE CONVENIENTLY MISSED THE ESCAPE.

Sturm: Well, we're out now. Now what?

Lash notices two dozen guard dogs running at them.

Lash: Let's run screaming?

Sturm: Great idea!

Lash and Sturm (while running): AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

bAm I so tired that I can't even think of any more questions to ask? Tune in next time to Advance Wars 2.5 IV!/b


iAdvance Wars 2.5 IV, Part 2/i

What? Why should I have to fill you in? They don't pay me enough. Hey, YOU try working for a narrator's wages! They don't even give you enough time to say anything! And if that's not enough, then

-Black Hole-

Adder: Who are we invading again?

Hawke: Yellow Comet.

Adder: Ah.

Hawke: And we've conquered it! Mwahahahaha!

Adder: Does it matter? You know we're going to lose control of it somehow.

Flak: Haven't you guys forgotten that we're under attack by Green Earth?

Adder: Who cares?! They can have Black Hole as long as we have Yellow Comet.

Flak: Wasn't this in Season 1?

Sturm and Lash come in.

Sturm: Guess what? We're baaaaa-aaaack!

Hawke: Drat.

Sturm: So, what's the status report?

Flak: We conquered Yellow Comet but Green Earth conquered Black Hole.

Sturm: Wasn't this from Season 1?

Lash: Yep.

Sturm: Just pull out from Yellow Comet and attack Green Earth's forces in Black Hole!

Adder: Wasn't this from-

Everyone: SHUT UP!

Meanwhile...

Drake: Woohoo! We FINALLY got some screen time!

Eagle: Wait, do you mean to tell me you sent the whole country to war just to get some SCREEN TIME?

Drake: Exactly.

Eagle: Great idea! Good thing I thought of it.

Jess: What are you talking about? You didn't...

Eagle: Look at me, I'm Jess, who was fired and never had another good job again!

Jess: *sigh* Fine, it was your idea.

Eagle: I always come up with great ideas, don't I?

Drake: Yep. Great ideas on how to steal great ideas.

-Orange Star-

Andy: How many times have we died?

Max: I lost track. At least two.

Andy: Where are Nell and Sami anyway?

Max: I have a feeling we don't want to know.

-Yellow Comet-

Kanbei: I've got one of my most brilliant ideas!

Sonja: What?

Kanbei: Using this special thingamathingy I created, I'll be able to deploy my units at the normal rate, without them being decreased in strength at all! So they'll still be above average without me spending extra money!

Sonja: How much does this thingamathingy' cost to make?

Kanbei: It costs 20% as much as the unit outfitted with it normally costs.

Sonja: *sigh*

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: Today is a very special day.

Colin: What day is it?

Olaf: It's Saturday!

Colin: What's special about that?

Olaf: It's not Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Sunday!

Grit: So why aren't the other days special?

Olaf: Because they ARE Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday.

Grit: I bet Lord Seth's running out of ideas.

Colin: Oh yeah.

-Orange Star-

Max: Why is it back to us already?

Andy: I don't know.

Max: I know! We're about to find out where Sami and Nell are!

Sami and Nell walk in.

Max: Lord Seth, I hate you.

Lord Seth: I represent, I mean, resent that.

Andy: WHERE have you been?

Sami: You don't want to know.

Andy: Oh yes we do.

Sami: Oh no you don't.

Andy: Do!

Sami: Don't!

Andy: Do!

Sami: Don't!

Andy: Do!

Sami: FINE! I'll tell you!

At this point, our camera conveniently stopped working.

After some speedy repairing...

Sami: ...so that's where we've been.

Andy: Eek! Why'd you tell me?

Sami: Because you asked!

Andy: Well, you shouldn't have told me!

Max: Can you two stop arguing for even a second?!

Andy & Sami: Sure!

One second later...

Andy: Well, you should've ignored me! But NOOOO, you had to...

Max: Can you two stop bickering for one MINUTE?!

Andy & Sami: Sure!

One minute later...

Sami: Well, if you had just LISTENED to what I was saying, I...

Max: I give up!

Max leaves.

Nell: A pity...he should've gone for an hour.

binsert your own question here? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 IV!/b


iAdvance Wars 2.5 IV, Part 3/i

Last time we saw what all the countries were doing. Nothing important.

Lord Seth: You have to start giving more descriptive details or you're FIRED!

Well sorr-EE!

Lord Seth: You should be.

That's it! I'm going on strike! See how YOU like being a narrator for an episode!

Lord Seth: Fine! Well, waddya know? We just ran out of recap time, so let's get this story started! Hey, you didn't think I was going to repeat that out of time joke AGAIN, did you?

-Orange Star-

Andy: I don't like it.

Max: What?

Andy: It seems a little...too calm here.

Max: That's bad?

Andy: No, what I mean is that you think that Hachi would be launching his latest evil scheme to make even more money...

Max: Why would he want more money?! He's already a multi-quintillionare!

Andy: I don't now.

Meanwhile...

Hachi: Darn it! No matter how much I ever bid on these things on eBay, some guy I don't know always outbids me, even though I often bid an billion dollars!

Meanwhile...

Lord Seth: A billion dollars on this eBay auction, eh? I'll bid even more! I wonder who auctioned this anyway. They must be making a lot of money.

Meanwhile...

Bill Gates: Man, some people really bid a lot on my eBay auctions. If this keeps up, I'll be rich, and can start my own company, and steal ideas for computer platforms and make even more money off of it!

Lord Seth: And that is how Bill Gates REALLY made his fortune.

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: Whatcha doing?

Colin: Writing a computer virus so evil, so potent that it'll fry a computer inside out.

Olaf: Well, let me know when you're done. I want to check my e-mail.

Olaf leaves.

Some time later...

Citizen: Hey, my computer stopped working!

Citizen 2: So did mine!

Citizen 3: And mine!

Citizen 4: My computer exploded!

Citizen 5: This must be a computer virus!

Citizen 6: Well, let's find out who did it! And I know just who can find out.

-Yellow Comet-

Citizens: Hey Sonja, could you

Sonja: Colin was the one who made the virus.

Citizens: You're quick.

Sonja: It's a gift.

Citizen 101: So, do we ambush Colin and lynch him, tar and feather him and run him out of town, or leave it up to the proper authorities?

Citizen 54: Hmmmmm...

Some time later...

Policeman: Colin, you're under arrest!

Colin: What?

Policeman: You made that computer virus that's destroyed who knows how many computers?

Computer Nerd: I kept track. It's 1,373,395.

Policeman: Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, you're sentenced to 1,373,395 years in prison.

Colin: WHAT?!

Policeman: Don't worry, you'll probably get one million years off for good behavior.

A short time later...

Citizen: Aw, we got here too late. We can't tar and feather Colin.

Citizen 5: So let's find someone else to tar and feather!

Citizen 85: And I know just who to do it to!

Citizen 48: Who?

Citizen 85: Citizen 38383!

Citizens: YEAH!

bWill Colin get out of prison? Will the narrator come back? Have I done a good enough job as narrator? (of course). Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 IV!/b


iAdvance Wars 2.5 IV, Part 4/i

Previously, Colin created a really bad computer virus and was arrested for it.

Colin: Don't I at least get a trial?

Guard: Okay, okay.

A short time later...

Judge: Let the trial begin.

Prosecutioner: I move that the trial be ended right now.

Colin: I object!

Judge: Overruled. The trial is over, and Colin is guilty.

Colin: Hey!

Later...

Guard: Well, you got your trial.

Colin: I hate you.

-Black Hole-

Sturm: We've got to INVADE someplace!

Flak: I think the only place we really haven't invaded is Green Earth.

Sturm: Invade that!

Flak: But we were forced to watch Manos: The Hands of Fate last time we did!

Sturm: Oh, come on. Could anything be worse?

Some time later...

Lash: This time we have to watch Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.

Lord Seth: The in-jokes never end...

Adder: Overdrawn at the Memory Bank? Never heard of it.

Lash: Well, let's watch.

About an hour or so later...

Sturm: How was that?

Sturm sees the other Black Hole COs are all in a coma from the boringness of the movie.

Sturm: Oh well, there goes THIS invasion.

Lord Seth: Wasn't this in-joke already done?

Sturm: Well, if you'd think of some NEW jokes...

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: Colin's been arrested.

Grit: Yep.

Olaf: We should go rescue him.

Grit: Yep.

Olaf: But then we'd probably bungle it and get arrested ourselves.

Grit: Yep.

Olaf: So we probably shouldn't after all.

Grit: Yep.

Olaf: Can you say something other than Yep'?

Grit: Yep.

Olaf: This has got to be the oldest joke ever...

Lord Seth: No, the oldest joke was something about what happens if you cross a sabertooth tiger with a wooly mammoth.

Olaf: Why do you keep popping up everywhere anyway?

Lord Seth: Comic relief.

Olaf: Comic relief from the comic relief?

Lord Seth: Yep.

Olaf: ARGH!

-Orange Star-

Nell: Have you noticed lately this has been less like a story and more like a collection of short skits?

Sami: Don't ask me, I just eat chocolate.

Sami spots some chocolate.

Sami: ...CHOCOLATE!

Sami leaps for the chocolate, but it was really on a giant mousetrap and it goes off, killing her.

Nell: How'd that get there anyway?

Max: I have no idea.

Nell and Max look at Andy.

Andy: What?

-Green Earth-

Colin: Green Earth?

Sorry, my mistake.

-Blue Moon-

Colin: Grrrrr...I'm going to escape from this prison. And I know just how to do it...

bHow will Colin escape? Was Andy really the one who killed Sami? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 IV!/b


iAdvance Wars 2.5 IV, Part 5/i

Sami was killed by a giant mousetrap and Colin was planning on how to escape from prison. Or at least that's what our records show.

Lord Seth: How do you know someone hasn't altered the records?

I don't.

Lord Seth: Oh great. That means, for all I know, Grorange Mar, Poo Toon, Mellow Tonic, Bean Terf, and Ack Mole might not be real countries in this story! *sigh* I guess life always has its uncertainties.

-Grorange Mar-

Max: I bet you made that mousetrap, Andy!

Andy: Prove it.

Max: I'm not smart enough to make it, Nell is too inept to, Hachi is too busy thinking of another money-making scheme, Sami wouldn't have done it, so that just leaves you.

Andy: Drat.

Nell: Hey! I am not inept!

Lord Seth: In AW2 you didn't do anything other than talk...

Nell: Oh, shut up.

Max: I forgot, what was the punishment for killing a CO here?

Nell: It had something to do with rats and honey...

Max: Man, they sure knew how to make cool laws 200 years ago.

Andy: Rats.

Nell: And honey.

-Poo Toon-

Colin: (There's only one way out of this prison) Hey, guard!

Guard: Yes?

Colin: Don't I get a phone call?

Guard: That was only when you were arrested.

Colin: Well, I didn't use it, so doesn't that mean I get it now?

Guard: I guess that does make some sense... *gives Colin a phone*

Colin: Thanks.

Guard: Now, for absolutely no reason, I'm going to leave. *leaves*

Colin (on the phone): You #@%@! you should #%^#%# yourself and @#%# your family and while I'm at it I might as well say you're a #%#@ and a #@%$#@ and an @#$#@ and a #%!@#$!#@ to boot! Like I said, just #$%* yourself before some @#%## decides to #^##^& you! *turns off the phone* That should do it.

Some time later...

Max: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!

Colin: You can't kill me for insulting you over the phone! I'm in prison!

Max: Good point!

Max breaks open Colin's cell, and Colin escapes.

Max: Was I just the biggest idiot or what?

Colin: My plan worked perfectly! Call Max, insult him, and have him break in to try to kill me, then escape! It worked! Hey, why aren't I moving anywhere?

Max: Because I'm holding you upside down?

Colin: Uh-oh.

The next few minutes were so graphically violent that we have cut them out. Instead we shall see a bunny eating a carrot.

A bunny eats a carrot.

Lord Seth: By the way, the bunny was the brother of the one from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

The bunny shows its sharp teeth and lunges towards the camera. Static is shown.

We now return to our story.

In the emergency room of the hospital...

Olaf: Great news, Colin! The police decided you were punished enough after Max was through with you, so you don't have to go back to prison!

Colin: ...

Olaf: Oh yeah, you can't talk with all those bandages on, right? Oh well, don't worry, the doctors say they hope to have the first layer of bandages removed in one year.

Olaf leaves.

Colin: ... (translated: Please kill me)

-Bean Terf-

Drake: It's back to us! Quick, do something that'll ensure us some space in the story!

Jess: Fine! *kills Drake*

Drake: That wasn't what I meant.

Eagle: Jess! You killed Drake!

Jess: So?

Eagle: I don't know. I was just stating a fact.

Drake comes in.

Jess: What?

Drake: You must've killed my clone.

Lord Seth: NOT A CLONE! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Eagle: What's with you?

Lord Seth: It's an in-joke.

Eagle: Ah.

Drake: Oh great. Now they're switching back to

-Poo Toon-

Grit: So what do we do now, boss?

Olaf: I don't know. What should we do?

Grit: I asked you first.

Olaf: I asked you second.

Grit: Lord Seth is REALLY running out of ideas.

-Grorange Mar-

Nell: Because of your cold-blooded attempt to kill

Andy: I'm warm-blooded! Humans are mammals, and mammals are warm-blooded. It's a biological fact.

Nell: Whatever! You are sentenced to the rat and honey torture.

Andy: How does it work?

Nell: I'd tell you, but it would give people ideas.

Andy: Like it already hasn't?

Nell: Forget it! Let the torturing start!

After some torturing causing pain so intense that it is beyond impossible to describe...

Andy: I really hate rats. And honey.

Nell: Congratulations! You've made it through the first 1/3 of the torturing! The rest is a lot worse, though.

Andy: I hate you.

Lord Seth: When you say , do you mean me or Nell?

Andy: Both.

Lord Seth: Just for that, I'll double the torture.

Andy: I hate you.

Lord Seth: Just for that...

Andy: Did I say ? I meant my life.

Lord Seth: Fine by me!

-Ack Mole-

Sturm: I will no longer tolerate failure! Succeed next time, or else!

Lash: Or else what?

Sturm: Um...er...ah...or else you'll find out what or else is!

Flak: Is it OK if we fail purposely so we find out what or else' is?

Sturm: No.

Flak: Drats.

bWill Andy survive the torture? Will Colin be able to walk around again? Will the Ack Mole COs fail again? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 IV!/b


iAdvance Wars 2.5 IV, Part 6/i

As a space filler, we have decided to make this part be entirely irrelevant to the story as a whole. We would like to thank you for your patience, but we really don't care.

One day, in a peaceful mountain community...

Nothing happened. It was a peaceful day.

Lord Seth: O-kay, that could have used some work. Let's try something else.

In a not-so-peaceful mountain community...

A lot of fighting happened and everyone died. It was a not-so-peaceful day.

Lord Seth: Let's try something COMPLETELY different.

Advertiser: Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy!

Consumer: Buy what?

Advertiser: Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy!

Consumer: Okay, I bought some batteries, now will you shut up?

Advertiser: That wasn't what you should have gotten. Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy!

Consumer: Well, what SHOULD I buy?

Advertiser: Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy!

Consumer: Grrrr.

Some time later...

Consumer: Okay, I bought every product ever made. Have I bought what you wanted?

Advertiser: No, you didn't buy it. Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy!

Consumer: Well, what was I supposed to buy?!

Advertiser: Nothing!

Consumer faints.

Advertiser: Buy buy!

Meanwhile...

Instructor (instructing soldiers): Face left!

Everyone faces right.

Instructor: I said face left!

Everyone: We are facing left.

Instructor: No, you're facing right!

Soldiers: We're facing left!

Instructor: You don't know your right from your left?

Soldier: No, but we know our left from our right!

Instructor: ARGH!

The Instructor goes psycho and kills all the soldiers.

Lord Seth: All right, THAT didn't go so well...gotta be SOME worthwhile little story I can put in here. It can't take that long to find one, can it?

1 day later...

Lord Seth: Man, that was quick! Now for the best story ever! It'll make people want to read it again and again! It's perfect! It's great! It's...missing. Where on the computer DID I put it? Checking could take a while. Oh well. In the meantime, here's another entirely pointless and stupid yet somehow funny story.

Some Person Whose Name Will Not Be Revealed For Some Reason: I've created an email chain letter! Let's review what it says again.

Dear Friend,
This is a chain letter. If you forward it to other people, good luck will follow. A man forwarded it to 100 people and lived to be 100 years old.*

*Well, he's not 100 years old yet, but doctors estimate he has a good chance of living to be 100 years old, and we will find out in 50 years.

Bad luck, however, will follow you if you do not forward it. A boy chose not to and 20 years later was killed in an accident.
Here's how you do it: Forward this message to any number of people. Here's the breakdown on what you get depending on the amount of people you forward this to:

0: You are smart enough to know not to trust these idiotic chain letters. Congratulations! Er, I mean, your life will be bad. Very bad.
1-3: You only know this many people on the internet? You're sad.
4-10: No harm will come to you for now. But watch out in 70 years!
11-20: Your odds of winning the grand prize of the state lottery has jumped to 1 in one billion! Woohoo!
21-29: You will have good luck for the rest of your life. Can't be sure about what happens after that, though.
30+: You have just made 30+ enemies. Congratulations!

If you refuse to forward this letter, I will place a curse on you until you do, even though I have no way to know whether you forwarded it or not.

Sincerely,
Some Person Whose Name Will Not Be Revealed For Some Reason

Lord Seth: Well, that's all the time we have for now. And unfortunately, my virtual dog ate my story document files, so I guess we can't show you the story we planned to. Sorry!

bWhy should I have a question here? No, really! Why? Seriously, this had nothing to do with the story itself, so why should there be any questions? So don't ask about why there are no questions here! In any case, look for the next episode of Advance Wars 2.5 IV!/b


iAdvance Wars 2.5 IV, Part 7/i

In our previous episode, absolutely nothing relevant to the story occured. So there is no need for a recap. Yeah, I know I'm just being lazy and all, but why don't YOU read the previous parts instead of ME filling you in? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Lord Seth: I'm going to find a new narrator.

Good luck. We narrators belong to a union. We aren't that easy to replace!

Lord Seth: *sigh*

-Black Hole-

Sturm: Mwahahaha! I've just been struck with my most devious plan yet!

Hawke: What was it, and how'd you get struck with it?

Sturm: Well, I was walking along, and then a pot fell on me!

Hawke: *sigh* Well, what's your idea?

Sturm: I'm going to send chain emails to everyone! Then they'll forward those chain letters to everyone else, and I'll clog all the e-mail servers, shut down all of the enemy's technology, and then can take over the world!

Hawke: That has got to be the dumbest idea I've ever heard, but since my opinion doesn't matter to you, who cares? But I have a question.

Sturm: What?

Hawke: WHY would anyone forward it?

Sturm: Because of subliminal messages in them!

Hawke: There are NOT subliminal messages in it!

Sturm: Look yourself!

Hawke looks at the e-mail.

Hawke (as if in a trance): Must...forward...message...to...everyone...I...know.

Sturm: Perfect! Well, better check on a few things before sending it. *leaves*

Hawke: *snaps out of trance* Man, that IS powerful. Oh well.

Hawke accidentally touches the keyboard, and, by pure, random coincidence, it keys in the words Also forward one copy to the person who sent you this message.

Hawke: Better leave now.

Hawke leaves, and Sturm comes in.

Sturm: Now to press Send without reading it over again for some dumb reason.

Sturm does nothing. Adder comes in.

Adder: Aren't you going to press Send?

Sturm: Don't you know? Bad guys always savor the moment before they press whatever button it is they press.

Adder: Oh. How long are you going to savor the moment?

Sturm: I don't know.

One hour later...

Sturm: I'm done savoring the moment. Now time for enjoying the moment!

Adder: ARGH! Just send it!

Sturm: Fine, killjoy.

Sturm clicks Send.

Meanwhile...

Lord Seth: Hmmm. My specially built SPAM-blocking filter seems to be doing a lot of work today. Let's see how many spam messages it has repelled...100,000?! In just one day? Man, I wanted to be popular, but this is ridiculous!

Meanwhile...

CJayC: I got 100,000 messages in my email? Finally! I'm getting less mail than usual! Oh yeah! I'm going to celebrate by going on a vacation!

Meanwhile...

Newsperson: All computers are down! All electronics are down! All TV stations are down! In fact, it defies logic that we're even on the air!

The camera pans out and it's revealed they're in an airplane.

-Black Hole-

Sturm: Yes! I know I've said this a zillion times before, but now I can take over the world!

At this point, all the lights in Black Hole went out and all technology stopped working. In fact, the blackout went further than that. It even stopped the transmission of this

bIsn't it good we had a backup backup generator? (all the backups generators quit working) Our backup backup generator won't work for long, though, so we'd better end this before/b


iAdvance Wars 2.5 IV, Part 8/i

Previously...well, something happened that erased all our data, so we have no clue what happened. Sorry. It had something to do with a blackout. At least we think so.

-Black Hole-

Sturm: This is a dark day in the history of Black Hole.

Hawke: Do you mean that it's bad, or that there's almost no light?

Sturm: Both.

Flak: Oh well. How long can this blackout-

Hawke, Sturm, Lash, and Adder all cover Flak's mouth.

Flak: Mmmm mmmm mmmmm? (translation: Why'd you do that?)

Sturm: If you'd finished what you said, the you-know-what would have kept up for a year.

Flak: Oh.

-Orange Star-

Andy: I've figured out a way to stop the blackout!

Max: Really?

Andy: Yep.

Max: How?

Andy: All we have to do is-

Max: Here comes the cutoff...

Andy: -use the

WE INTERUPPT YOUR PROGRAM FOR A COMMERCIAL BREAK.

Lord Seth: Sorry about the commercials, but hey, everyone has to make a living, and one way to do that is to show commercials! Why don't you send me money? Hey, that's a great idea! Merely send your credit card information to my email address and I'm certain we can work something out about having fewer commercials. In the meantime, here is the commercial.

The scene shifts and Lord Seth is shown in a different outfit.

Lord Seth: Do you like overhyped games? If so, here are some ones you'll love: Sonic Adventure 2: Battle, Super Mario Sunshine, and Golden Sun. Thank you!
(with apologies to those who love those games)

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR STORY.

Andy: ...and that's what I'll do.

Max: Great idea! Work on it right away!

Andy: Sure thing! I mean, how long can

Max, Nell, Hachi, and Sami all cover Andy's mouth.

Nell: Ever notice Lord Seth has a thing for repeating jokes?

Sami: Yes.

Nell: Sami, I thought you were dead.

Sami: I got better.

-Green Earth-

Eagle: Why is it the only time we appear is during an afterthought of the author? You know, like they stuck us in just to include all of the countries.

Jess: Let's invade someplace.

Eagle: Just to get some screen time?!

Jess: Yep.

Drake: Ever notice Lord Seth has a thing for repeating jokes?

Lord Seth: Yep.

-Blue Moon-

Olaf: This blackout isn't very good.

Grit: Yeah, Colin's still in the hospital. With all the electricity shut off, his life support systems are disabled.

Olaf: No, I meant it's annoying I can't play videogames. My favorites are Advance Wars 1 & 2! You know, that Olaf guy in those games is a real idiot. But he seems vaguely familiar.

Grit: I think Lord Seth has a thing for borrowing jokes.

-Yellow Comet-

Sonja: My newest diabolical plot to take over the world is ready!

Kanbei: Aren't we supposed to be the good guys?

Soldier: Yes.

Kanbei: So doesn't that mean that Sonja is being evil?

Soldier: Yes.

Kanbei: So she's an enemy?

Soldier: Yes.

Kanbei: THROW HER IN THE DUNGEON!!!

Sonja: *snaps out of trance* Finally I'm no longer hypnotized! Now I'm back to my normal self and, um, why are you carrying me away? Hey! Stop! Wait! This was all a misunderstanding!

Sonja is thrown into the smallest, filthiest, stinkiest, and overall worst cell in the dungeon, then locked in with 40 different locks. A rabid monkey is also thrown in with her, and promptly starts banging her on the head.

Sonja: I hate my life so much. And ever notice how Lord Seth has a thing for borrowing and repeating jokes?

-Black Hole-

Sturm: Good news! The blackout is over! Unfortunately, it also erased all data on everything. So I guess we're going to have to rebuild.

Adder: How long will this take?

Hawke: Probably the time between this this and the next season..

Lash: Was it just me, or did this episode seem pointless?

bWas this episode pointless? What's the next season going to be like? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 V!/b