iAdvance Wars 2.5 VII, Part 1/i
Somewhere in Black Hole...
Sturm: Well, we don't have to worry about the threat of an atomic bomb anymore.
Hawke: THREAT of an atomic bomb? We have more than any other country! What did you do, agree to some anti-atomic bomb peace treaty? Not even you're that dumb, right?
Sturm: You know, there's kind of a funny story behind that...
Meanwhile...
Lord Seth: Greetings, everyone! And welcome to Season 7! Let's start it off with a bang, as I try to see how much I can write of a story in 2 minutes. Starting...NOW!
In Blue Moon...
Grit: Hey, did you notice that the last time Lord Seth wrote one of these things (although it was a 1-minute one that time) we were the stars also?
Olaf: I'll say! This can only mean one thing!
Grit: What, that we're his favorite characters?
Olaf: No, that our advertising campaign is finally paying off!
Grit: We have an advertising campaign? Since when?
Olaf: Since Colin signed up.
Meanwhile...
Colin (unenthusiastically): Sign up for the Blue Moon army. Pay is good. Benefits are good. Inquire within. All you have to do is sign this contract and you're in for life.
Person: But this contract is for life! It means I can't quit if I want to!
Colin: Hey, there are disadvantages to everything!
Person: Well, I'll think about it.
Colin: No! Y
THE TWO MINUTES ARE UP. WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR 'NORMAL' STORY.
-Orange Star-
Andy: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sami: What is it THIS time, Andy?
Andy: I don't know. I was just trying to build suspense.
Sami: You mean you wasted this space just for building suspense?
Andy: Hey, everyone else does it!
Sami: That's true.
Andy: Oh, and a large alien force is going to invade us.
Sami: Well, that's nice, An...ALIEN FORCE? INVADE? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER?
Andy: Um...building suspense?
Sami: I hate you.
Lord Seth: Yes! Someone hates someone other than me for once!
Sami: I hate you, too.
Lord Seth: ...
-Blue Moon-
Grit: Olaf! We've got to get the army in shape!
Olaf: What shape? Triangle? Square? Pentagon?
Grit: Argh! That's not what I meant!
Olaf: You want a rectangle? Okay!
Olaf whips out a megaphone.
Olaf: ...RECTANGLE!
The entire army organizes to form a rectangle shape.
Grit: Olaf, how'd you teach them to master this? It must've taken a while.
Olaf: Oh, I just cut 90% out of their actual combat training.
Grit: *sigh*
bWill the invaders conquer the world? Will the Blue Moon army ever learn how to fight? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 VII!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 VII, Part 2/i
Previously, Andy discovered that a giant alien force was going to invade Wars World.
-Green Earth-
Eagle: Why is this place called Wars World anyway?
Jess: Um, because there's a lot of war?
Eagle: Exactly! So let's change the name of the planet to "Peace World"! Then we'll have no war at all!
Drake: I suppose it's worth a shot.
One quick renaming later...
Eagle: Well, hopefully we'll all be at peace for a while.
1 Year later...
Andy: Um...shouldn't the aliens have invaded already?
Lord Seth: Nope. They stopped by a few other planets to conquer them first.
Andy: Ah.
Meanwhile...
Eagle: Well, this last year of peace wasn't that bad.
Drake: NOT BAD?! We were all fired and are now working in a meat-packing plant!
Eagle: Where's Jess?
Drake: She managed to get a job as a game show host.
Meanwhile...
Jess: Man, ever since we've changed these things on Wheel of Fortune to make it more dramatic, our ratings have skyrocketed!
A contestant spins the Wheel of Fortune. It lands on "Death Ray".
Jess: Sorry!
A giant raygun comes out of nowhere and shoots the contestant, reducing him into a pile of ashes.
Jess: Don't worry, our doctors should be able to have him almost slightly halfway semi-normal in about a year or two! *to the second contestant* All right, you spin it this time!
The contestant spins the Wheel of Fortune. It lands on "Go To Jail".
Jess: Looks like it's your unlucky day!
A bunch of police come in and arrest the contestant.
Contestant: NOOOOO! This is all a mistake! I'm innocent!
Policeman: Yeah, that's what they all say.
Jess: So, who's the next person to spin the Wheel of Fortune?
All the other contestants have left in fear.
Jess: They always do that.
Back to Drake & Eagle...
Eagle: This stinks! I want my old job back!
Drake: Even if it means more war?
Eagle: Even if it means more war! My financial status is more important than the lives of my soldiers!
Drake: Brilliantly said!
Another renaming later...
Eagle: Oh great. Another war has started between Orange Star and Blue Moon.
Drake: Yep. Isn't life good?
1 war later...
Andy: Well, that was a pointless war.
Sami: Yeah! All that happened was...um, what did happen?
Max: I don't know. Who's keeping track of these things anyway?
Everyone stares at Lord Seth.
Lord Seth: What?
-Yellow Comet-
Sonja: Well, the war between Blue Moon and Orange Star is over.
Kanbei: What was it over again?
Sonja: Something about a video game portraying one of them negatively.
-Blue Moon-
Grit: Olaf! The invaders will be here in maybe a week or so! We have to get ready!
Olaf: Good point. Make escape pods!
Grit: Escape pods?
Olaf: That way we can escape to another planet!
Grit: We don't know how to make intersteller escape pods!
Olaf: So?
Grit: (Maybe I should just kill him and make all our lives easier)
bWill Grit kill Olaf? Will the invaders ever reach Wars World? If they manage to, what will they do? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 VII!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 VII, Part 3/i
Previously, Orange Star and Blue Moon went to war, and the alien invaders got closer to Wars World.
-Orange Star-
Nell: The war with Blue Moon has decreased our military force! We have to get them ready in time so we have a halfway decent chance of fighting off the invaders!
Andy: How are we going to do that?
Max: I don't know! Just whip them into shape!
(a pause)
Max: What, isn't someone going to make a joke saying they thought we should them, you know, with whips?
Sami: No one here's that dumb. You'd have to have someone like Olaf here or something.
Max: Great idea!
A short time later...
Max: Just whip them into shape!
Olaf: Well, I have the whips, what shape do you want the troops in?
Max: Okay, thanks for the joke. You can go now.
Olaf: What? I only came here to be in a joke?
Max: Yes.
Olaf: Grrrr...see if I ever listen to you again!
Max: Olaf, would you do me a favor and get me some hot chocolate?
Olaf: Sure thing!
-Green Earth-
Eagle: Well, using Lightning Strike I've managed to train the army at twice the normal speed!
Drake: That doesn't even make sense, but hey, it works!
-Black Hole-
Sturm: NOOOO! Aliens are invading! And I can't stand aliens! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!
Lash: Sturm, you ARE an alien!
Sturm: That's what they WANT you to believe!
Lash: Well, what are you really?
Sturm: Well, that's an interesting thing. I-
Adder: Red alert! Red alert!
Flak: What are you talking about? How is this a red alert? I wouldn't even call it a purple alert!
Adder: There's no such thing as a purple alert!
Flak: Exactly.
Hawke: ...
Flak: What?
Hawke: ...
Flak: Hawke? Why didn't you say anything? What's going on?
Lord Seth: I was trying to cover up my writer's block.
Flak & Hawke: I hate you.
Lord Seth: Doesn't everyone?
Grit: I don't. At least, I don't think I do.
Lord Seth: What are you doing here?
Grit: I don't know. I just was suddenly warped here.
Lord Seth: Oh yeah, I did that.
All the Black Hole COs attack Grit.
Grit: I hate you.
Lord Seth: *sigh*
1 Week later...
bWhoops, ran out of time. Will I run out of time again? Will the aliens conquer Wars World? Didn't I already ask that question? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 VII!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 VII, Part 4/i
bPreviously, the alien invaders were about to, er, invade. And why is this part of text in bold anyway?/b
-Black Hole-
Sturm: Are preparations complete?
Hawke: *sigh* Yes. The escape pods are ready.
Sturm: Excellent. Now let's GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE!!!
Hawke: There aren't enough escape pods for everyone in Black Hole!
Sturm: Well, you know what to do when there aren't enough escape pods/lifeboats!
Adder: COs and soldiers first?
Sturm: I was thinking of "women and children first", but that works!
3/4 of an evacuation later...
Lash: Oh great, my escape pod won't take off. Might as well leave *tries to open the door* Hey! It's stuck! Well, it can't take too long to open, can it?
1 week later...
Lash: I hate my life.
-Orange Star-
Andy: Well, the alien invaders are in our solar system now. So let's FIRE THIS GIANT MISSILE AT THEM!
The giant missile is launched at the alien fleet but misses and ends up blowing up the moon.
Max: Well, we won't have to worry about tides anymore, at least!
Meanwhile...
Employee: Profits are skyrocketing! We're making more money quicker than any other company!
Hachi: Yes! I knew selling those alien protection devices would pay off!
Employee: But sir, they're fake. They don't protect people from aliens at all.
Hachi: So?
Employee: Well, there's a double money back guarantee.
Hachi: WHAT?! Who did that?
Lord Seth: Me.
Hachi: I hate you.
Lord Seth: Tell me something I don't know.
Hachi: That's a toughie.
Lord Seth: What?
Hachi: Telling you something you don't know. You definitely know a lot.
Lord Seth: You take everything too literally.
Hachi: ...am I supposed to have some kind of witty comback to that?
Lord Seth: Yes.
Hachi: Too bad!
Lord Seth: I hate my job.
Meanwhile...
Citizen: The aliens are invading! We'd better use these anti-alien things we got!
Citizen 2: Hey, they work!
Citizen 3: Wow. Who would've guessed Hachi was honest for once?
bWho would have guessed Hachi was honest for once? Stay tuned!/b
Lord Seth: Wasn't this gag done already?
Yeah, but hey, what's wrong with repeating a joke?
Lord Seth: Well, I guess a second time couldn't hurt.
bWill a second time hurt? Keep reading!/b
Lord Seth: Okay, now you're going too far.
bAm I going too far? Be sure to/b
Lord Seth: SHUT UP!!!
Meanwhile...
Jess: All right! Face left and take four steps forward!
The troops face right and take four steps backward.
Jess: Are ALL of the troops this story?
Eagle: Only the stupid ones.
Flying saucers fly in and cover Wars World.
The invasion has begun.
bTo Be Continued.../b
Wait, I don't get to do any of those suspenseful questions? What a rip-off! I mean, seriously, we've had those in every episode except the final one of Season 5, and that was because we wanted it to end ominously. But why not this time? Yeah, I guess someone could argue that-
Lord Seth: SHUT UP!!!!!!
iAdvance Wars 2.5 VII, Part 5/i
Last time on Gilligan's Island, the characters almost got off the island but didn't quite make it.
Lord Seth: This isn't an episode of Gilligan's Island! It's Advance Wars 2.5
Oh. Sorry.
Lord Seth: I'd say something else, but I don't want to go on with these recap gags again.
-Blue Moon-
Olaf: Are the escape pods finished?
Grit: Olaf, we don't even know how to make escape pods, let alone have them finished!
Colin: Guess what? I finished the escape pods!
Olaf: See, Grit? That's how a responsible CO would handle it! Now EVACUATE!
The entire Blue Moon army rushes into the escape pods but they all blow up.
Grit: What was that thing about being responsible again?
Olaf: I hate you.
-Yellow Comet-
Sonja: Have you noticed that even though the invasion is occuring, there really hasn't been any details about it and it seems like it isn't happening? And who am I talking to?
The aliens break into where Sonja is and take her prisoner.
Sonja: Drat. Hey, wait a minute...you look kinda familiar...
-Black Hole-
Sturm: Oh wait, it turns out the aliens were on our side! I forgot I requested reinforcements.
Hawke: You mean you made us evacuate for NOTHING?!
Sturm: Guess so. Hey, where is Lash?
Meanwhile in an escape pod with a stuck door...
Lash: Hello? Anyone out there? Hello? Anyone? HELLO?! HEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!
-Orange Star-
Hachi: The invading force is coming! Fortify the forcefield against the extraterrestrial adversaries!
The employees stare blankly at Hachi.
Hachi: *sigh* Push the orange button.
Meanwhile, in a galaxy 2.34x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x 10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10 light-years away...
Lord Seth: Hey! There's nothing here!
WHOOPS! My mistake.
Meanwhile, in a galaxy 2.34x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x0x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x 10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10x10 light-years away...
Andy: Well, all of the aliens have been defeated.
Nell: That was rather anticlimatic. And it's all your fault, Andy!
Andy: Hey, you shouldn't blame me!
Nell: I know I shouldn't, but I will anyway! I sentence you to something really bad!
Andy: How bad?
Nell: So bad I'm not going to say what it is for fear of the readers repeating it!
Andy: But--but--but--but--but--but
Nell: Why are you so obsessed with my butt anyway?
Lord Seth: Hold it! Crossing the line here!
Nell: Good point. Andy, your punishment is doubled!
Andy: I hate you.
Nell: Me or Lord Seth?
Andy: Both.
Lord Seth: You've made a dangerous enemy today, Andy.
Nell: You or me?
Lord Seth: Both. *to the reader* Anyway, the reason I stopped the invasion was because I realized the story would suddenly have a point if it occured, and wouldn't be as funny. That's why Season 2 wasn't so great.
Max: You should've said that in a more comical way.
Lord Seth: What do you think I am, MADE of jokes?
Max: Yes.
Lord Seth: *sigh* I really set myself up for THAT one.
bWill Andy survive the punishment? Will this story ever have a point? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 VII!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 VII, Part 6/i
Previously, the alien invasion was called off, and Nell decided to torture Andy.
Andy: Ow...why am I ALWAYS the one that gets tortured?
Lord Seth: Because you'e fun to torture.
Andy: I hate you.
Lord Seth: Hmmph. I've heard THAT line before.
Andy: I REALLY hate you.
Lord Seth: I've heard that line before, also.
Andy: I hate you with the white-hot intensity of a million suns!
Lord Seth: I've heard that one, too.
Andy: ARGH!
Andy begins banging his head against the wall.
Lord Seth: I haven't heard, well, seen THAT one for a while.
Meanwhile...
Olaf: Grit, it's time we fixed up the Blue Moon army.
Grit: About time. Almost all of the soldiers died when the escape pods blew up.
Colin: This isn't going to be another hairbrained scheme where we all end up getting ourselves killed, right?
Grit: We can only hope.
Olaf: Let's make a new, robot army! And be sure the robots are all strong and lethal and will be able to kill us immediately if they choose to!
Grit and Colin stare blankly at Olaf.
Olaf: DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED!
Colin: Well, I guess we'll have to. After all, being dead is better than being fired. At least while dead you have your dignity.
Grit: Well, might as well get started.
One new army later...
Olaf: Well, the new army is finished!
Grit: Um, Olaf? There's only one robot, due to lack of materials. And I'm not sure that counts as an army.
Olaf: Are you familiar with the phrase 'one-robot army'?
Grit: Yes.
Olaf: Good. Explain it to me.
Grit: *sigh*
Colin: Oh, by the way, I got my 200th F today.
Grit: Colin, we really need to increase those grades of yours...
Olaf: Look! The robot is moving! And it's shooting right at us! Isn't it amazing?
Grit: ...once we stop being dead, that is.
-Black Hole-
Sturm: Look! I've just made a new division of the army!
Hawke: Um, Sturm? They look kind of...dead, if you ask me.
Sturm: Look, they don't even demand money!
Hawke: Really?
Sturm: Watch! *to the soldiers* What do we want?
Soldiers: Brains.
Sturm: When do we want them?
Soldiers: Brains.
Sturm: See?
Hawke: Why does it seem like the most incompetent person always is the head of the army?
bWhy does it seem like the most incompetent person always is the head of the army? What will happen next time in this story? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 VII!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 VII, Part 7/i
Previously, some stuff happened, most of it having to do with Nell torturing Andy. Oh, and Black Hole started a division of the army (zombies, anyone?)
-Black Hole-
Sturm: Well, the new division of the army needs to prove its worth. SO GO INVADE!
Hawke: Invade where?
Sturm: I don't know! Just pick a country! Blue Moon, Orange Star, Yellow Comet, Green Earth, it's all the same to me!
Hawke: Fine, fine.
Later in insert country here...
insert name a CO over the country here: The Black Hole Army is attacking!
insert the name of another CO of the country here: Well, just fight them off!
insert name of third CO here: We can't! As soon as they're killed, they get right back up!
Lord Seth: This looks like a job for...me!
insert name of first CO: What? What kind of powers do you have that we don't?
Lord Seth waves his hands in a strange, dramatic fashion and all the zombies disappear.
insert name of second CO here: Yes!
Lord Seth: Thanks. *sigh* Too bad in my Everlasting Quest For Truth & Justice I've made some enemies in low places.
Meanwhile in the lowest part of Black Hole (a.k.a. Hot Earth Lies Lower)...
Sturm: Argh! That stupid Lord Seth guy ruined my plans AGAIN!
Flak: Well, what do you want to do about it?
Sturm: How bout we try to kill him?
Flak: Sir, we tried that the first time you got mad at him. And the second time. And the third. And the fourth. And the fifth. And the sixth. And the seventh.
Much later...
Flak: and the...well, you get the point.
Sturm: Hey, one million and fifty-sixth time's the charm!
Flak: And why is our headquarters in the lowest section of Black Hole anyway?
Sturm: Don't ask me. It wasn't not my idea.
Meanwhile...
Lord Seth: Must...cure...writer's block...
Andy: Didn't Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes) once say the cure for writer's block was writer's cramp?
Lord Seth: I thought he said the cure for writer's cramp was writer's block.
Andy: Whatever!
-Blue Moon-
Olaf: Do you know what we need to do?
Grit: What?
Olaf: Make more of those robots!
Colin: But that robot was a fiasco! It became all evil and stuff, remember?
Olaf: Exactly.
Grit: ...
Colin: ...
Olaf: ...
Colin: What?
Olaf: Everyone's doing it!
Colin: Everyone?
Lord Seth: ...
Grit: Yep. Everyone.
-Green Earth-
Eagle: Well, our air force is top-notch. And our sea force is top-notch. And our ground force is top-notch. Did I miss anything?
Drake: Green Earth's COs aren't exactly top-notch.
Eagle: Excellent point! You and Jess will have to go to a remedial CO Training Course!
Drake: I was referring to you, not us.
Eagle: Your point is...?
Drake: *sigh*
And now, a word from our sponsor.
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Sponsor: Thank you!
We now return to our story.
-Green Earth-
Teacher: Now, the first thing for you COs to know is very important. Units start with 10 HP and lose HP when attacked. When they're down to 0 HP, they lose. Now for the units themselves! The infantry unit can only move 3 spaces and is very weak, but it's important because
Drake: This is so humiliating.
Jess: *writing* Hmmm...Infantry and Mechs are important because they're the only units that can capture cities? I guess that makes sense.
Drake: Man, Lord Seth's really running out of ideas. Now he's borrowing jokes from The Simpsons.
bWhat else will Lord Seth borrow ideas from? Will my writer's block ever end? When will I have these questions relate to the plot? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 VII!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 VII, Part 8/i
Last time, Jess & Drake were forced to enroll in a remedial CO Training Course.
Teacher: ...now to complete this course, all you have to do is beat a randomly choosen person in a battle. Jess & Drake, your opponent is Lord Seth.
Drake & Jess play a game of Advance Wars 2 against Lord Seth but lose miserably.
Drake: What?!
Lord Seth: Gotta love that horrible AI!
Meanwhile...
Grit: Colin, it's time we improve your grades.
Colin: ...
Grit: What? Cat got your tongue?
Colin opens his mouth and pulls out a cat.
Colin: ...
Grit: Let me guess, there'll be a FROG in your throat this time?
Colin pulls a frog out of his mouth.
Grit: *sigh* What's next?
Colin pulls out a goat, an elephant, a dog, a spider, a mouse, a horse, and an Oompa-Loompa out of his mouth.
Colin: I was wondering where all of those went.
Oompa-Loompa: Oompa-loompa, dupitty-doo, insert random word here, ukally goo; eating Oompas is bad for health-
Grit: Oh, shut up already.
Grit shoots the Oompa-Loompa.
Oompa-Loompa: Oompa-loompa, dupitty-doo, shooting Loompas hurts them, mookally-ooo. Trying to-
Grit shoots the Oompa-Loompa again.
Grit: That ought to shut it up.
Oompa-Loompa: Oompa-Loompa, googaly too, we never shut up, bookaly moo, if you have any decency, you will stop shooting me!
Grit: ARGH!
Grit shoots the Oompa-Loompa again.
Oompa-Loompa: Oompa-Loompa-
Grit: That's it. I'm calling in the professionals.
One call later...
Sturm: Okay, I'm here. Now who do I unleash the Vermicious Knids on?
Grit: The Oompa-Loompa.
Sturm: Okay! FEAST!!!
The following scene is too gruesome to describe. Thus, we will substitute it with a less offensive piece.
Lord Seth: You can't borrow my Game Boy Advance! Never!
Vapor: Aw...*starts crying*
Person: Lord Seth, it's not nice to not share. Sharing makes the world go round!
Lord Seth: You're right! I'll let Vapor use my Game Boy Advance! *gives it to Vapor*
Vapor: Yay! Thank you!
Lord Seth: I've made a friend! Sharing is good!
A pause.
Lord Seth: I'm getting paid HOW much for this?
Vapor: We're getting paid for this? I thought it was just a great way to sucker you out of your Game Boy Advance.
Lord Seth: Why you little... *starts chasing Vapor*
Person: Um...this isn't going to be on the commercial, right?
Cameraman: We're broadcasting live.
Person: Great. I shudder to think what kind of world could come from commercials like this.
Meanwhile...
Sturm: That commercial was interesting. But they already aired something just like it years ago, when me and the rest of the COs were young!
Meanwhile...
Instructor: Well, you two both failed your final exam miserably. Congratulations, you passed!
Drake & Jess: Er...um...thanks!
-Orange Star-
Andy: What was happening when it was last on us?
Lord Seth: You were banging your head against the wall.
Andy: Right!
Andy starts banging his head against the wall.
Lord Seth: You can suffer brain damage if you do that too much, you know.
Andy: Oh, come on. That would never happen.
A pause.
Lord Seth: What, aren't you going to do something stupid as kind of a joke?
Andy: Why should I?
bWhy should Andy? Does sharing really make the world go round? Will Lord Seth stop chasing Vapor? Tune in next time, to Advance Wars 2.5 VII!/b
iAdvance Wars 2.5 VII, Part 9/i
Andy: I've got a great idea!
Lord Seth: Cut! Hold everything! Where was the recap?
Um, there wasn't one.
Lord Seth: WHAT?! There's always a recap!
That's not quite true. In-
Lord Seth: SHUT UP!!! Fine, fine, whatever, we'll do without it this time.
-Yellow Comet-
Sensei: What should we do?
Kanbei: CONQUER WARS WORLD!
Sensei: I thought that was what Black Hole was supposed to do.
Kanbei: So? Let's conquer them, too!
Sonja: No! This is wrong and I won't go along with it.
Kanbei: THROW HER IN THE DUNGEON!!!
Sonja: Hey! Wait! I don't want to be thrown in there again.
Kanbei: Good point. THROW HER IN THE LAVA!!!
Sonja: Wait! I'll take the dungeon! Hey! Let go of me! Help!
Some Yellow Comet soldiers drag Sonja away and throw her in the lava.
Kanbei: And so, we should prepare to attack the other countries.
Sensei: But if we attack them all at once, we're doomed!
Kanbei: So? Black Hole launched attacks on all the countries of Wars World.
Sensei: First, they failed. Second of all, they had enough COs to carry out the attack!
Kanbei: Well, we have 3. That means we can attack 2 countries while one of us stays here to guard Yellow Comet.
Sensei: You threw Sonja in the lava, Kanbei.
Kanbei: You're right. Okay, you stay here and protect Yellow Comet, and I'll conquer Black Hole.
A short time later...
Lash: The Yellow Comet army is invading!
Sturm: Oh, don't worry. We'll fight them off.
A few battles later...
Sturm: Drats. They conquered us.
Sensei: ...and you must unconditionally surrender!
Sturm: We'll surrender if we keep our hot dogs!
Sensei: Fine.
A while later...
Sensei: Black Hole has surrendered.
Kanbei: Excellent. Now to turn our attention to the rest of Wars World. Blue Moon is weak at the moment...so ATTACK!
Sensei: Fine, fine, if you insist.
Another invasion later...
Olaf: Oh great. We're defeated. Oh well. Might as well surrender.
-Yellow Comet-
Kanbei: Yes! Now three countries are under Kanbei's control! Only two more to go!
Sensei: Um, Kanbei? Our soldiers are stretched kinda thin. If we attacked another country, we probably couldn't keep occupying them all.
Kanbei: You're right. I'll be content with what I have for a while.
Sensei: Really?
Kanbei: Yes.
Lord Seth: Haha! I bet you expected him to say no! But I outsmarted you. I OUTSMARTED YOU ALL!!!
Kanbei: Well, we proved our point. We're the strongest country. Might as well withdraw our troops.
Sensei: You mean we spent all that time conquering them and you're letting them go?
Kanbei: Yes.
Sensei: Well, I guess it could be worse.
-Blue Moon-
Grit: Now, where were we before we got distracted by the Oompa-Loompa and the invasion?
Colin: I don't know.
Grit: Oh yeah! We were going to improve your grades!
Colin: Oh great.
Some time later...
Colin: Yeah! I brought my grades up! And I didn't cheat!
Grit: See what happens when you study hard?
Colin: Yeah. Better go back to cheating.
Grit: Lord Seth is losing his touch. I sure hope this is the last season.
bWill this be the last season? Is Lord Seth losing his touch? Am I ever going to get that raise I want? Will Colin ever get good grades without cheating? Will Yellow Comet ever conquer the world? Will I ever stop talking? Will I-/b
Lord Seth: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
