iAdvance Wars 2.5 VIII, Part 1/i

Well, Advance Wars 2.5 has recently jumped the shark. Common sense would dictate that it would be best to stop it and leave it while it still has its dignity.
However, because TV producers apparently know something we don't (why else would they keep shows going on a season after they jumped the shark?), we have decided to drag it on ONE more season. After all, they did it with all sorts of great shows, and ended up ruining them!

Anyway...

-Black Hole-

Sturm: This is the last season. It's our last chance to take over Wars World before the series ends.

Flak: ...

Lash: ...

Adder: ...

Hawke: ???

Sturm: Anyway, so I say we conquer Blue Moon first! Our previous large- scale invasion didn't work because of the unfortunate fact that we spread ourselves too thin. So we attack one country at a time, fortify our resources, attack another, and continue. We'll conquer all of Wars World with my brilliant strategy!

Hawke: Did you actually think of that yourself?

Sturm: No, I just downloaded it off the internet.

Hawke: I should have known.

Meanwhile...

Lord Seth: What do you know? Someone actually downloaded my war plans file. Maybe I should share more files using LimeWire! Let's see...let's start with these songs from a CD I just got...

Police burst in.

Policeman: Lord Seth, you are under arrest for violating copyright laws!

Lord Seth: Huh? What? Wait! Let go of me! This is all a misunderstanding! Seriously! I could use a little help here. Anyone? Please? MOMMY!!!!

Meanwhile...

Hachi: Now it's time for my latest scheme to make lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lotslots of money!

Employee: You do know all of that was just a space filler, right?

Hachi: Yep. So?

Employee: I was just making sure.

Hachi: Anyway, here's the idea: We make a bunch of fake Magic cards and then sell them for high prices.

Employee: Won't we be arrested for copyright infringement?

Hachi: Probably, but who cares?

One arrest later...

Hachi: Hey! Let go of me! I was just trying to make a little money! Is that a crime?

Policeman: Yes.

Hachi: Drat.

Later...

Nell: Should we bail Hachi out of prison?

Andy: OUT OF PRISON?! Don't you remember all the bad stuff he did to us?

Nell: Good point. Let's bail him out of prison instead.

Andy: *sigh*

-Blue Moon-

Grit: Okay Colin, NOW we're going to improve your grades.

Colin: You're not going to.

Grit: Why?

Colin: Because every time you say you will, something happens that prevents you from doing that.

Outside...

Sturm: Surrender immediately! And give us all your hot dogs!

Grit: We gave you all our hot dogs the last time you invaded us!

Sturm: But you must have made more hot dogs since then!

Olaf: No, people don't sell hot dogs anymore. A bunch of people complained about cruelty to dogs. Is that okay with you?

Sturm: Sure. I'll just kill you all instead.

Colin: Oh, fudge.

bWill the Blue Moon COs survive? Probably not. But be sure to tune in anyway to the next episode of Advance Wars 2.5 VIII!/b

iAdvance Wars 2.5 VIII, Part 2/i

Previously, Black Hole had the Blue Moon COs surrounded. I'm sure they'll pull off a last-minute escape...

Grit: Quick! Look for a ventilation shaft!

Colin: WHY WOULD THERE BE A VENTILATION SHAFT?! And shouldn't we be dead already?

Sturm: You normally would be, but we're out of ammunition. Don't worry, we should be done refueling in a few minutes.

Colin: RUN!!!!!

The Blue Moon COs run.

Sturm: Drat. Why didn't we get the easy-reload brand? Or just knock them out?

Hawke: Because we wanted to surprise the audience, as they were expecting the Blue Moon COs to die.

Meanwhile...

Colin: This escape was going fine until we fell into quicksand.

Olaf: Don't worry! I didn't fall in! I'll go get help! Don't worry! *runs off*

Grit: We're doomed.

1 Month Later...

Olaf: I'm back! Uh, Colin? Grit? Where are you? Oh well, I guess they must have escaped somehow.

-Black Hole-

Sturm: Blue Moon is now under our control. Our next target is Green Earth.

Hawke: Er...with a bunch of our forces already occupying Blue Moon, how do you expect to conquer Green Earth?

Sturm: I've managed to force...er, I mean recruit, a bunch of people from Blue Moon.

Earlier...

Blue Moon Citizen: Why should I join your army? You conquered my country!

Sturm: We've got a good dental plan.

Blue Moon Citizen: Sold!

The present...

Sturm: So, it's up to us to bring peace and prosperity by conquering everyone!

Hawke: That makes no sense!

Sturm: Exactly!

Lash: Come to think of it, why ARE we trying to conquer all the countries?

Sturm: I don't know, but there must be a good reason. Something about an interesting plot.

-Green Earth-

Eagle: Oh great. Black Hole is attacking. Again.

Drake: Oh, don't worry. I bet everything will turn out the way it did before.

Eagle: We died before, remember?

Drake: Oh yeah. Good point.

Black Hole tanks surround Drake and Eagle.

Drake: See? The same!

Eagle: No, it's not the same. Jess isn't with us. So as long as she's not here, we're fine!

The manhole next to them open and Jess comes out.

Jess: Sorry, I must've taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

Drake: Oh great. Now we're doomed.

The cannons all shoot at Drake, Jess, and Eagle and they all die.

Sturm: Yes! We have conquered another country! Now for another one!

bSorry, Sturm, but you'll have to wait until next episode!/b

Sturm: I'm not going to wait! I'm going to conquer Yellow Comet and/or Orange Star NOW!

bWill Sturm manage to conquer them before this episode ends?/b

Sturm: Done! Conquered them!

bEr...um...will they manage to break free of Black Hole's control? Find out next time, on Advance Wars 2.5 VIII!/b

iAdvance Wars 2.5 VIII, Part 3/i

Sturm: We've finally conquered all of Wars World. But what's this weird mist stuff?

Lash: I dunno. It just came out of nowhere and has engulfed the planet.

Sturm: Where's Flak? I'd like him to see this.

Lash: I dunno. He had some weird appointment or something.

Meanwhile...

Flak: What am I doing here? And where am I?

Lord Seth: Um...you're not on Wars World. And I don't know what you're doing here.

Flak: Well, send me back!

Lord Seth: Um, I can't.

Flak: What?

Lord Seth: Some kind of weird mist is interfering with the transmission. Once it clears up, I'll send you home.

One clearing up later...

Flak: Well, I'm back everyone.

Sturm: ...

Hawke: ...

Adder: ...

Lash: ...

Flak: You're strangely quiet.

Lash: Must...kill...non...believer...

Flak: Oh no! You've all been turned into zombies!

Lash: What are you talking about? You're crazy.

Flak (thinking): Oh, they think I'm crazy, huh? Well, I'm the only one that's NOT crazy! But they'll see. Oh, how they'll see. Soon-

Lord Seth: All right, that's enough craziness for one episode.

Flak: But all the episodes are crazy!

Lord Seth: So I have to make sure the rest of this episode isn't crazy.

Adder: How do you plan to do that?

Lord Seth: END THE EPISODE ALREADY!!!

bSorry for the shortness of the episode, but I guess we're ending it in a cheesy way. Just be sure to turn into the next episode of Advance Wars 2.5 V+III!/b

Lord Seth: Oh great. We just went over our craziness limit.

iAdvance Wars 2.5 VIII, Part 4/i

Sturm: After all that craziness in the last episode, let's hope we can get a calm, serious episode this time.

Hawke: With Lord Seth as the author? That's pretty much impossible.

Sturm: In any case, all of Wars World is under our control. So I don't see any need for any more episodes.

Lord Seth: Good point. Let's end it here.

Flak: Remember that thing about jumping the shark?

Lord Seth: Yes.

Flak: I think we've jumped it multiple times already.

bNo questions to ask now, you know! After all, it's the end. What do you expect me to do? No, seriously! What should I do? Oh great, there's some questions already. Um, in any case, tune in next time to...wait, there won't be another episode. Forget it./b