"
Notes: All characters are property of J.K.Rowlings, this writing is for my
own enjoyment, and hopefully yours. *Warning: This chapter contains sexual
content between two consenting adults. If this bothers you, please don't
read on.
Chapter 4: Lust
"The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral." ~Aristippus
It had been a very long time since Remus Lupin had had personal relations with the opposite sex. Not because he wasn't interested in women, but rather because the women often became uninterested when he revealed his nocturnal secret. After a while, he became accustomed to the monotony of a bachelor's life. As a single man, he was able to do what he wanted, when he wanted. Everything in his life was neat and orderly; perhaps not very exciting, but routine. He found that most people underestimated the pleasure of a routine.
Of course, that is what his life had been like before teaching at Hogwarts and before he'd sheltered friend and fugitive, Sirius Black, from the law. Before Dumbledore had asked him to teach at his old alma mater, he'd been working on translating a very important Sanskrit text which focused on the ancient secrets of the Indian Dark Arts. His mother and father had been living in India since his own graduation from Hogwarts and this massive undertaking had become a sort of a family project.
However, post teaching, post Sirius Black, and post Voldemort's return, he was getting little work done on the translation. His routine had now been out of whack for three years and oddly enough, this no- routine lifestyle was beginning to feel normal. Indeed, it was almost pleasurable; meeting new people, going new places and experiencing new feelings and sensations. Sirius, although his life had been cut short, had taught Remus something very, very important. He had shown him that life must be seized with passion and purpose. Both of which, Black had done very well.
And yet, as Black had finished his life, Lupin was only just beginning to live his. The first step had been allowing himself to feel again, and allowing himself to dream of possibilities that he had once thought hopeless. In his most secret desires, so secret that he could barely share them with himself, he wanted one thing more than all others, and that was his own family.
Of course, he didn't know this until a year ago when he and Sirius had stayed up very late with a bottle of Black's best single malt scotch and two glasses.
*flashback*
Sirius lounged casually in the worn tobacco-leather chair. He ran a finger around the rim of his fine crystal tumbler as he pondered his wolfish friend.
"Stop looking at me like that," Remus spoke up as he topped his empty glass with another shot from the black label. His appearance was shabby, but neat; an ode to his poverty and to his pride.
Sirius grinned broadly, tilting back his head in his usual, arrogant fashion, "It's a shame you didn't have children, Lupin."
Remus lifted his eyebrows, "Where the hell did that come from?"
Black laughed, "From the Hogwart's brood." Then reaching for the bottle, he too refilled his glass, "Apparently, you were quite the star professor last year. They're still clamoring about your teaching skills."
"Hmmppff," Remus replied as he crossed his legs, and turned his gaze back to the crackling fire. "I'm surprised Harry told you that, seeing that I almost ate him."
"Well, children are the first to forgive mistakes."
"But women aren't." Lupin's pale eyes turned cold with distain.
"I never thought of you as a confirmed bachelor." Sirius lifted a box of cigarettes and packed them against the palm of his boney hands, "In fact, James and I swore you'd be the one to have a dozen kids and a plump little wife stuffing you with cakes and sweetmeats."
"Am I that mundane, Sirius?" Remus asked idly swishing his whiskey in his glass.
"Who says that family life is mundane?" Then smirking, "Mine certainly wasn't."
Then lighting two fags, he handed one to Remus, "I'm just saying Lupin, you'd be a great father. I think it would suite you; make you happy."
Remus tilted his head, and studied his dark friend, "And what about you Sirius? Not the fathering type?"
He blew a smoke ring, "I have Harry."
"He's not your natural son."
"True enough and I suppose now, I never will." Taking a sip of his whiskey, he turned his eyes to the amber liquid, "I was in that prison a long time Lupin. It does things to man; changes him."
Remus tucked his fag between his lips, and did what he did best; listened, "Mentally, perhaps."
"Yes, mentally," Sisius voice trailed away, "and physically." There was a long moment of silence as Black teetered on the edge of his dark secret. "I was in a cage for twelve years unable to think a single thought besides what a miserable friend I had been and the possibility of revenge."
Hand trembling, he unsteadily poured another shot of the smooth whiskey into his tumbler. "You see, I wasn't able to think about women or sex." He laughed slightly, "Not even one f*cking fantasy about getting myself yanked off. After a while, perhaps a year or two, it was like my mind, my body had forgotten about those things."
He took a deep drag off his fag, before continuing, "And now that my mind can remember, my body can't." Turning his dark blue eyes on Lupin, he looked on him with painful beauty and remorse.
Remus was shocked at his friend's stark confession. He hadn't said the words, but he had said enough for Lupin to surmise that his friend was impotent; incapable of sexual arousal. In true Lupin style, he didn't let his own emotions show. Without flinching a muscle, he inquired, "Are you sure it's permanent?"
Sirius took another drag, "It's been over a year." His eyes now glittering, "And trust me, I've tried."
Remus was out of his comfort zone. Sirius and James had always talked about these things before. They were the ones with the girl friends and one night stands. He'd always been the responsible, quiet kid with the books. "It could change."
"Perhaps." They again sat in silence only made comfortable by the amount of whiskey they had consumed.
"Remus, if something happens to me. If they take me back or kill me..."
Lupin sat forward, his eyes widening, "Don't say that!"
"Damn it! I'm just saying what might come true." His deep blue eyes flashed, "Get married Remus and name your son after me."
Remus shook his head, "I'm not listening to this nonsense. You'll have your own sons."
"But if I don't," Sirius had now taken Remus's arm in vise like grip. "But if I don't," he added again quietly, "Promise me you'll name your son Black."
He wasn't joking. Remus uneasily put his hand on top of Black's, studying the tragic lines etched into his face. "I will name him Sirius and you shall be there to christen him yourself."
Sirius beamed widely, tears nearly welling in his eyes. "Thank you Remus, thank you."
*****
Today, as he scrubbed the bathroom tiles of the Black homestead with Madame Grubbs Grout Be-Gone, he allowed his mind to wander to his secret dream; a dream that Black had awakened in him. He though of his future wife and son named for his departed friend and how they would fill his own house someday; making it a home.
"Well, Remus Lupin, you do take your work seriously."
He turned from his position on the floor to look upon a muggle dressed Leia. Even though they had planned to do some dirty-work, she still looked impeccable with a fitted peacock- blue blouse, and black pants. Even her long black mane was neatly tied back into a sleek pony tail.
Sitting up to a kneel, he smiled as he wiped his brow, "I'm just trying to give my best to cause, even if it is the bathroom tiles."
Leia laughed loudly and offered him a manicured hand, "It's time to take a break. I've fixed us some dinner for us."
They were sharing many anecdotes and laughs as they ate a warm dinner of poached salmon and potatoes. Each time Remus keep Leia's company, he felt more and more at ease with the mysterious daughter of Bellatrix LeStrange. Her manner was quiet, but her wit and laughter reminded him fondly of Sirius, and of his promise. Every moment they spent together pushed Tonk's awkward kiss further and further to the back of his mind.
"Give me a hand with the dishes?" Her blue eyes twinkled beneath thick black lashes.
"Of course," he stood and began adding plates to the running dishwater.
Just before she plunged her hands into the milky, foaming water, he caught them between his, "Have you forgotten the spell for this?" Remus questioned innocently playing the teacher.
Leia's lips curled into a smile, and her grip tightened around Remus's fingers. "I haven't forgotten."
Remus froze, as she ever so minutely stroked his palms.
Womanly eyes twinkling, "I just find that there are some things still worth doing by hand. Don't you think?"
Some how, he managed to return her smile as he answered, "I always defer to the lady."
Together they plunged their hands in the water and began a cozy system of washing and rinsing. Everything was going very smoothly until an unknown object sliced into Lupin's hand.
He lifted it from the murky water to reveal a large cut on his finger, "Merlin's ghost! What have you got in there?"
The blood pooled into a little droplet, but before he could reach for a towel, Leia grabbed his hand. Then placing his sliced finger between her lips, she sucked.
Her tongue rolled against the wound, and her teeth nibbled against the tender flesh. Remus was both aghast and aroused. Moreover, he wasn't sure what was happening, other than his breathing was beginning to grow ragged.
"Leia, I'm not sure..." But before he could finish, her lips were upon him with an aberrant heat. Her kiss was like liquid fire, pouring into his mouth. In turn, he drank at her lips, her tongue and her flesh like a man with boundless thirst.
His hands were upon her rounded bottom, lifting her up, lifting her closer. Responding to his lust, she twined her legs around him so that her hips cradled his hard heat. As they kissed, licked and rocked against the kitchen counter, he felt himself losing control, losing awareness of himself. All his focus, like an animal, zoomed in on one thing, and that one thing was sex. It was no longer a rational thought, but a primal need.
"Oh gods!" Remus softly cried out, as he felt her warm hands surpassing his waistband and pulling against his hardened flesh. It had been such a long time.
Their kisses were an erotic blend of tongue and teeth, as Leia's hand continued to slick his lust.
Running, her hand up the back of Remus's neck, she entwined her fingers into Remus's graying hair. Her voice was low and hot, "Bite me."
"What?" Remus asked between scattered breaths.
Leia jerked his head upward and brushed her hand against her own pale neck. "Bite me," she insisted again.
"I can't," he whispered in her ear. He wouldn't allow himself to tempt the demon that lurked inside him, no matter how much he wanted this woman.
Her laughed mocked his desire, "You won't hurt me." Then running her tongue up the side of his pulsing throat, she whispered, "I want you to taste my blood."
That was it. He pushed her violently away, stumbling backwards. Leia too, nearly fell to the floor.
Her lips were red and swollen, and her sapphire eyes were as wild as an animal stalking its prey. "Running away?"
"I don't understand this," he answered, wiping his lips on the back of his hand and trying to steady his breath.
Leia smoothed down her hair before casually leaning against the counter top, "When you're ready Remus, let me know." Then reaching into the disk water, she pulled out a rusty butcher knife.
Although it was painful to walk, Lupin abruptly left the room. As he quickly moved through the hallway and mounted the stairs, he noticed that something different. Leaning over the banister, he realized that an additional plaque adorned the wall of retired house elves. Kretcher's head, which appeared to be freshly severed, gazed solemnly down the long corridor.
Remus shuttered as he remembered the butcher's knife in the sink. Dear Merlin! What had he gotten himself into!
*****
Chapter 4: Lust
"The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral." ~Aristippus
It had been a very long time since Remus Lupin had had personal relations with the opposite sex. Not because he wasn't interested in women, but rather because the women often became uninterested when he revealed his nocturnal secret. After a while, he became accustomed to the monotony of a bachelor's life. As a single man, he was able to do what he wanted, when he wanted. Everything in his life was neat and orderly; perhaps not very exciting, but routine. He found that most people underestimated the pleasure of a routine.
Of course, that is what his life had been like before teaching at Hogwarts and before he'd sheltered friend and fugitive, Sirius Black, from the law. Before Dumbledore had asked him to teach at his old alma mater, he'd been working on translating a very important Sanskrit text which focused on the ancient secrets of the Indian Dark Arts. His mother and father had been living in India since his own graduation from Hogwarts and this massive undertaking had become a sort of a family project.
However, post teaching, post Sirius Black, and post Voldemort's return, he was getting little work done on the translation. His routine had now been out of whack for three years and oddly enough, this no- routine lifestyle was beginning to feel normal. Indeed, it was almost pleasurable; meeting new people, going new places and experiencing new feelings and sensations. Sirius, although his life had been cut short, had taught Remus something very, very important. He had shown him that life must be seized with passion and purpose. Both of which, Black had done very well.
And yet, as Black had finished his life, Lupin was only just beginning to live his. The first step had been allowing himself to feel again, and allowing himself to dream of possibilities that he had once thought hopeless. In his most secret desires, so secret that he could barely share them with himself, he wanted one thing more than all others, and that was his own family.
Of course, he didn't know this until a year ago when he and Sirius had stayed up very late with a bottle of Black's best single malt scotch and two glasses.
*flashback*
Sirius lounged casually in the worn tobacco-leather chair. He ran a finger around the rim of his fine crystal tumbler as he pondered his wolfish friend.
"Stop looking at me like that," Remus spoke up as he topped his empty glass with another shot from the black label. His appearance was shabby, but neat; an ode to his poverty and to his pride.
Sirius grinned broadly, tilting back his head in his usual, arrogant fashion, "It's a shame you didn't have children, Lupin."
Remus lifted his eyebrows, "Where the hell did that come from?"
Black laughed, "From the Hogwart's brood." Then reaching for the bottle, he too refilled his glass, "Apparently, you were quite the star professor last year. They're still clamoring about your teaching skills."
"Hmmppff," Remus replied as he crossed his legs, and turned his gaze back to the crackling fire. "I'm surprised Harry told you that, seeing that I almost ate him."
"Well, children are the first to forgive mistakes."
"But women aren't." Lupin's pale eyes turned cold with distain.
"I never thought of you as a confirmed bachelor." Sirius lifted a box of cigarettes and packed them against the palm of his boney hands, "In fact, James and I swore you'd be the one to have a dozen kids and a plump little wife stuffing you with cakes and sweetmeats."
"Am I that mundane, Sirius?" Remus asked idly swishing his whiskey in his glass.
"Who says that family life is mundane?" Then smirking, "Mine certainly wasn't."
Then lighting two fags, he handed one to Remus, "I'm just saying Lupin, you'd be a great father. I think it would suite you; make you happy."
Remus tilted his head, and studied his dark friend, "And what about you Sirius? Not the fathering type?"
He blew a smoke ring, "I have Harry."
"He's not your natural son."
"True enough and I suppose now, I never will." Taking a sip of his whiskey, he turned his eyes to the amber liquid, "I was in that prison a long time Lupin. It does things to man; changes him."
Remus tucked his fag between his lips, and did what he did best; listened, "Mentally, perhaps."
"Yes, mentally," Sisius voice trailed away, "and physically." There was a long moment of silence as Black teetered on the edge of his dark secret. "I was in a cage for twelve years unable to think a single thought besides what a miserable friend I had been and the possibility of revenge."
Hand trembling, he unsteadily poured another shot of the smooth whiskey into his tumbler. "You see, I wasn't able to think about women or sex." He laughed slightly, "Not even one f*cking fantasy about getting myself yanked off. After a while, perhaps a year or two, it was like my mind, my body had forgotten about those things."
He took a deep drag off his fag, before continuing, "And now that my mind can remember, my body can't." Turning his dark blue eyes on Lupin, he looked on him with painful beauty and remorse.
Remus was shocked at his friend's stark confession. He hadn't said the words, but he had said enough for Lupin to surmise that his friend was impotent; incapable of sexual arousal. In true Lupin style, he didn't let his own emotions show. Without flinching a muscle, he inquired, "Are you sure it's permanent?"
Sirius took another drag, "It's been over a year." His eyes now glittering, "And trust me, I've tried."
Remus was out of his comfort zone. Sirius and James had always talked about these things before. They were the ones with the girl friends and one night stands. He'd always been the responsible, quiet kid with the books. "It could change."
"Perhaps." They again sat in silence only made comfortable by the amount of whiskey they had consumed.
"Remus, if something happens to me. If they take me back or kill me..."
Lupin sat forward, his eyes widening, "Don't say that!"
"Damn it! I'm just saying what might come true." His deep blue eyes flashed, "Get married Remus and name your son after me."
Remus shook his head, "I'm not listening to this nonsense. You'll have your own sons."
"But if I don't," Sirius had now taken Remus's arm in vise like grip. "But if I don't," he added again quietly, "Promise me you'll name your son Black."
He wasn't joking. Remus uneasily put his hand on top of Black's, studying the tragic lines etched into his face. "I will name him Sirius and you shall be there to christen him yourself."
Sirius beamed widely, tears nearly welling in his eyes. "Thank you Remus, thank you."
*****
Today, as he scrubbed the bathroom tiles of the Black homestead with Madame Grubbs Grout Be-Gone, he allowed his mind to wander to his secret dream; a dream that Black had awakened in him. He though of his future wife and son named for his departed friend and how they would fill his own house someday; making it a home.
"Well, Remus Lupin, you do take your work seriously."
He turned from his position on the floor to look upon a muggle dressed Leia. Even though they had planned to do some dirty-work, she still looked impeccable with a fitted peacock- blue blouse, and black pants. Even her long black mane was neatly tied back into a sleek pony tail.
Sitting up to a kneel, he smiled as he wiped his brow, "I'm just trying to give my best to cause, even if it is the bathroom tiles."
Leia laughed loudly and offered him a manicured hand, "It's time to take a break. I've fixed us some dinner for us."
They were sharing many anecdotes and laughs as they ate a warm dinner of poached salmon and potatoes. Each time Remus keep Leia's company, he felt more and more at ease with the mysterious daughter of Bellatrix LeStrange. Her manner was quiet, but her wit and laughter reminded him fondly of Sirius, and of his promise. Every moment they spent together pushed Tonk's awkward kiss further and further to the back of his mind.
"Give me a hand with the dishes?" Her blue eyes twinkled beneath thick black lashes.
"Of course," he stood and began adding plates to the running dishwater.
Just before she plunged her hands into the milky, foaming water, he caught them between his, "Have you forgotten the spell for this?" Remus questioned innocently playing the teacher.
Leia's lips curled into a smile, and her grip tightened around Remus's fingers. "I haven't forgotten."
Remus froze, as she ever so minutely stroked his palms.
Womanly eyes twinkling, "I just find that there are some things still worth doing by hand. Don't you think?"
Some how, he managed to return her smile as he answered, "I always defer to the lady."
Together they plunged their hands in the water and began a cozy system of washing and rinsing. Everything was going very smoothly until an unknown object sliced into Lupin's hand.
He lifted it from the murky water to reveal a large cut on his finger, "Merlin's ghost! What have you got in there?"
The blood pooled into a little droplet, but before he could reach for a towel, Leia grabbed his hand. Then placing his sliced finger between her lips, she sucked.
Her tongue rolled against the wound, and her teeth nibbled against the tender flesh. Remus was both aghast and aroused. Moreover, he wasn't sure what was happening, other than his breathing was beginning to grow ragged.
"Leia, I'm not sure..." But before he could finish, her lips were upon him with an aberrant heat. Her kiss was like liquid fire, pouring into his mouth. In turn, he drank at her lips, her tongue and her flesh like a man with boundless thirst.
His hands were upon her rounded bottom, lifting her up, lifting her closer. Responding to his lust, she twined her legs around him so that her hips cradled his hard heat. As they kissed, licked and rocked against the kitchen counter, he felt himself losing control, losing awareness of himself. All his focus, like an animal, zoomed in on one thing, and that one thing was sex. It was no longer a rational thought, but a primal need.
"Oh gods!" Remus softly cried out, as he felt her warm hands surpassing his waistband and pulling against his hardened flesh. It had been such a long time.
Their kisses were an erotic blend of tongue and teeth, as Leia's hand continued to slick his lust.
Running, her hand up the back of Remus's neck, she entwined her fingers into Remus's graying hair. Her voice was low and hot, "Bite me."
"What?" Remus asked between scattered breaths.
Leia jerked his head upward and brushed her hand against her own pale neck. "Bite me," she insisted again.
"I can't," he whispered in her ear. He wouldn't allow himself to tempt the demon that lurked inside him, no matter how much he wanted this woman.
Her laughed mocked his desire, "You won't hurt me." Then running her tongue up the side of his pulsing throat, she whispered, "I want you to taste my blood."
That was it. He pushed her violently away, stumbling backwards. Leia too, nearly fell to the floor.
Her lips were red and swollen, and her sapphire eyes were as wild as an animal stalking its prey. "Running away?"
"I don't understand this," he answered, wiping his lips on the back of his hand and trying to steady his breath.
Leia smoothed down her hair before casually leaning against the counter top, "When you're ready Remus, let me know." Then reaching into the disk water, she pulled out a rusty butcher knife.
Although it was painful to walk, Lupin abruptly left the room. As he quickly moved through the hallway and mounted the stairs, he noticed that something different. Leaning over the banister, he realized that an additional plaque adorned the wall of retired house elves. Kretcher's head, which appeared to be freshly severed, gazed solemnly down the long corridor.
Remus shuttered as he remembered the butcher's knife in the sink. Dear Merlin! What had he gotten himself into!
*****
