All characters are property of J.K.Rowlings, this writing is for my own
enjoyment.
Chapter 6: Joy
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?"
~ Kahlil Gibran
*****
The Tonks' returned too soon for both Nymphadora and Remus. They had held each other for nearly two hours, but two days would not have been long enough to bask in the joy they were experiencing in this new embrace.
Remus stayed on for another hour to share a pot of coffee with Andromeda and Ted, both of whom were interested in Andromeda's niece, Leia. Finally, they gave their goodnights and Remus too, admitted that he needed to be getting back.
Nymphadora casually walked Remus to the front door. There was an awkward silence as Remus stopped in the doorway, not knowing whether to merely say goodnight or to express himself with a more passionate physical goodbye.
"Thanks for trying to eat dinner," Nymphadora gave a quirky lop sided smile.
"Yes, well, perhaps we should stick to ordering out from now on." Remus answered, still not moving.
"Agreed." Her pink lips perked upward, dark eyes twinkled as she slowly and seriously bid softy, "Goodnight, then."
Remus stepped closer, narrowing the space between them to just a few inches. His pale blue eyes combing her soul, "Can I kiss you?" His brows narrowed, voice breathy.
His question was so sweet and so gentle, Tonks wanted to cry. No one had ever asked her if she wanted to be kissed. The men in her past had taken what they wanted and left. Remus was giving her something very special; a choice. She smiled, her heart on her sleeve, "Yes."
Lifting his hand to her jaw, he slowly tilted her head back. Her eyes instinctively fluttered close as his lips brushed against hers with a tender caress. Though the act lasted only seconds, the impression of his lips burned into hers with searing pain and utter joy.
As he pulled back, she stopped him, hand on his chest. What could she say to express what she was feeling? What could she say to the man that was also a wolf? This strong, restrained man that stood before her with graying hair, troubled blue eyes, and shabby robes; dear gods, he was beautiful! For the first time in her life, she saw past the flesh to the enduring spirit; and in its presence, she felt grateful. Grateful for his friendship and this budding romance.
"Thank you, Remus." She said, running her hand over his heart. Feeling it's steady thud beneath her palm.
He looked a bit confused. "I feel like I'm the one who should be saying those words," he answered as he stroked a lock of blue hair. Look into her eyes, his brow tensed with thought. "Have you ever looked at something without really seeing it?"
"I guess."
His hand moved from her hair to her cheek. "How did I know you, look at you for over a year, but not see you until now?"
Tonks relaxed. Then, smiling cautiously, she replied, "Because you weren't ready to see until now."
She made everything so simple. His pale eyes looked into hers with a tender sadness as he grasped her hands firmly, his voice innocent, his pain naked, "But why now? Why after Sirius?"
Tonks looked away for a moment as she remembered the close bond of friendship the threesome had shared. Then, with bitter happiness, she spoke from her heart, as was her fashion. "We both loved Sirius and he needed it badly. But caring for each other now doesn't mean we loved Sirius any less."
Then pulling her hands out of his, she took his body in her arms and hugged him. Instinctively, he clung to her. "This is okay. It hurts without Sirius, but its okay for us to go on caring for one another without him. It's just a new direction, something deeper than friendship."
Gods! She a mind reader, Remus sighed and squeezed her tighter. They had grown close the year before, and now as he was beginning to feel these new emotions for her, he felt somehow as if he was betraying the memory of Sirius. But she was right. He wasn't betraying Sirius, just letting something natural kneed his heart. And what could be more natural than a love growing between two friends.
They stood in the doorway a long time, before pulling away.
Remus ruffled his hand over her silly, blue buns. "I have to warn you, I'm a werewolf and we're not to be trusted." He wanted to recapture Tonks' smile and poking fun at himself, usually did the job.
She warmly returned his playful attitude, "And I have to warn you that I'm metamophangus. We're sneaky and deceitful."
He laughed, "Touché, Nymphador Tonks!" And stepped from the doorway to the sidewalk.
"Goodnight Remus Lupin," Tonks smiled mischievously, eyes dancing with delight, and shut the door.
***** He walked a few blocks just to relive the night's pleasure in his mind before apparating back to Grimmald Place. It was a quarter past midnight, and he was hoping that he would avoid Leia at such a late hour. Unfortunately, he was wrong.
As soon as he entered through the front doors of the Black homestead, he saw a warm glow imitating from the parlor.
"Remus? Is that you?" A feminine voice asked.
He shut the door behind him and reluctantly entered the living room where Leia, wearing a thin, satin night gown was curled up in an overstuffed chair.
"Yes. Need something?" He asked politely, wanting nothing more than to go to bed.
Leia smiled pleasantly, her eyes the same dark blue as her luxurious gown, "No. Just concerned about you."
"You needed have waited up for me." Remus answered, irritated at her concern.
Her red lips broadened widely, "I'm afraid you flatter your self." Then revealing a small book in her lap, "I've been reading. This is the only room in the house with decent light and it's quite pleasant sitting here by the fire with a glass of wine." Then pausing, and shutting her book, "Care to help me finish the bottle?"
Lupin was in no mood for her games, yet on the other hand, she was his hostess regardless of her violent tendencies with house elves and lovers.
"Alright," he answered wearily, taking a seat on the worn leather couch.
Leia casually poured him a glass of the cabernet. "You'd be amazed at the wine cellar. Sirius's dad has quite the collection down there."
Remus sipped the wine. It was exceptionally good. Then, realization struck him. He hadn't heard Mrs. Black's portrait screaming at him when he entered the house. That's odd. Suddenly, a glint of silver caught his eye. On the side table, between the bottle of wine and a small, worn book was a large cutting board knife.
Eyeing it suspiciously, he raised his eyes to Leia, who was gazing at the fire as she sipped from her glass. "I didn't hear Mrs. Black's portrait when I entered. Were you finally able to remove it from the wall this evening?"
Her sapphire eyes turned on him mockingly. "Not exactly. Most of it is gone, but the frame is still there."
Remus stared at her, willing her to confess. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Mrs. Black's portrait and I had a disagreement about me drinking Mr. Black's wine. And well," Reaching over to the end table and picking up the knife, "I won."
"Hmmm..." Remus answered casually, reclining into the sofa and crossing his legs. Yet internally, he was beginning to have some serious questions about this woman's eagerness for violence. "Don't you think that was a bit drastic?"
"No." She answered frankly. "She was a bloody old bitch and so was her portrait."
"And Kretcher?"
Again, Leia's smile widened like a Cheshire cat and batting her eyelashes, she replied, "I helped Kretcher fulfill a life long dream.."
Remus, smirked and finished off his glass. "You are certainly something, Leia."
"You thought so last night." Her eyes gleamed with mischief.
He knew this was coming. "I'm afraid that was a mistake."
"A mistake? Really? Because from where I was, pressed between the counter and your legs, you seemed to be enjoying it."
Lupin's heart raced. This conversation was making him uncomfortable, but he was determined not to show it. "Just because a man's body reveals lust, doesn't mean that his heart or his mind condones it."
Leia raised a dark brow, "I wasn't aware that I was asking for the other two."
"It's not in my nature to separate the desires of my body from the desires of my soul." Remus answered intently, his pale eyes cold upon her form.
Leia sat down her wine glass and standing, walked over to the sofa. Her womanly form exquisitely revealed beneath a slight covering of twilight blue silk. Her hips and breasts, rubbing rhythmically against the thin veil of material as she stood directly in front of Remus. "I don't think you can resist me."
It was true. As she drew closer, his breath hastened, his heart pulsed faster and his body warmed at her closeness. He felt lustful, but also angry. He didn't like losing control like this. The time for games was over. "Have you charmed me or was there a potion in my drink?"
"Neither," she smirked, "But you feel it, don't you?" Leia knelt down before him, close, but not touching. "Tell me Remus, what do want me to do? F*ck you here, or perhaps you'd like me to put on some of Sirius's old clothes and you could take me that way."
He snapped. His hand flying from his lap, he backhanded her with force. She instantly turned her face, holding a hand to her bloodied lip.
"Oh dear gods!" He murmured, taken aback at his own actions, he scuttled away from her, but as he tried to stand from the sofa, she grabbed at his trousers, laughing.
The same rich, arrogant laughter he'd heard so many times before. "You feel it! The power, the lust, the rage!" Her eyes were black, her laughter mad.
This time he stood, pushing her away, she fell back against the floor. Whipping out his wand, he held it to her throat. "What the hell are you?" His body was as tense as a high wire. "And what are you doing to me?"
The laughter stopped and she looked deep into his eyes. For her too, the games were over. "Allow me to stand, and I will show you."
His lips pressed into a thin line as he judged trustworthiness. Finally, he indicated that she should stand.
Slowly, she stood up from the floor and turning her back to him, she allowed her silken gown to puddle to the floor.
He took a short gasp as he looked upon her naked skin. The soft cameo of her complexion glowed golden from the flames. Shoulder muscles were strong and defined, back straight and buttocks perfectly rounded and firm. Then he noticed her upper thigh and everything became perfectly clear.
The red bite marks and trails of ripping claw scars. It was the mark of a werewolf. Realization shook him. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was still staring at her naked body.
"Put your clothes back on." He commanded, and turned away, cheeks burning.
His back still towards her, "Why didn't you tell me, Leia."
"Because I knew you would resist."
Then turning on his heal, his anger ready. "Resist you because of the wolf or resist you because of your actions?"
"You know what's wrong with you Remus, you're a werewolf, but you're afraid to admit it to your self. You go around so noble and contrite; always in control, always the teacher the listener, the man that does the right thing." Her face reddened, "Your so damn conscious about not being the wolf, you can't be man!"
"That is not true!" He said defiantly, but inwardly, he knew at some point, she was right. However, he was old enough to know screwing Theleia LeStrange wasn't going to make him any more human.
"When was the last time you had rough sex just because it felt good, or hit someone because you were angry?"
He didn't answer.
"We both feel the wolf, Remus. The difference is, I choose to embrace the desires and you choose to deny they exist." She moved closer, only inches away.
His voice low, "I do not deny they exist." His azure eyes flashed with passion. "But I am a man, not a wolf, and I have a conscious."
Leia slid a hand over his shoulder, "We would be so great together. Don't deny that."
He thought it over. Perhaps he should sleep with her, a one night stand with no strings; one night of rough, unbridled, shameless sex. Blood rushed his head, he again reddened. Shaking his head, "I can't."
It was her scent that was seducing him. He knew instantly that he had to get away. He stepped back from her touch, "I can't deny my immortal soul. And regardless of our similar circumstances, sex for the sake of momentary gratification is not acceptable to me."
Theleia gathered up a blanket off chair, covering her bare shoulders. "I knew you were repressed Remus, but such a protestant?"
"We may both be werewolves Leia, but we've chosen very different paths." Then walking to the door of the parlor, he turned the knob, his blue eyes glancing briefly against hers, "I'm sorry."
And as he thought of her, shivering under a thin blanket, alone in the darkness of the parlor, mother insane, father imprisoned, lover dead; he truly did feel sorry for her. For he knew there could be no true happiness in her future, only fleeting moments of illusions.
***** What do you think? Please R&R. Lyra
Chapter 6: Joy
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?"
~ Kahlil Gibran
*****
The Tonks' returned too soon for both Nymphadora and Remus. They had held each other for nearly two hours, but two days would not have been long enough to bask in the joy they were experiencing in this new embrace.
Remus stayed on for another hour to share a pot of coffee with Andromeda and Ted, both of whom were interested in Andromeda's niece, Leia. Finally, they gave their goodnights and Remus too, admitted that he needed to be getting back.
Nymphadora casually walked Remus to the front door. There was an awkward silence as Remus stopped in the doorway, not knowing whether to merely say goodnight or to express himself with a more passionate physical goodbye.
"Thanks for trying to eat dinner," Nymphadora gave a quirky lop sided smile.
"Yes, well, perhaps we should stick to ordering out from now on." Remus answered, still not moving.
"Agreed." Her pink lips perked upward, dark eyes twinkled as she slowly and seriously bid softy, "Goodnight, then."
Remus stepped closer, narrowing the space between them to just a few inches. His pale blue eyes combing her soul, "Can I kiss you?" His brows narrowed, voice breathy.
His question was so sweet and so gentle, Tonks wanted to cry. No one had ever asked her if she wanted to be kissed. The men in her past had taken what they wanted and left. Remus was giving her something very special; a choice. She smiled, her heart on her sleeve, "Yes."
Lifting his hand to her jaw, he slowly tilted her head back. Her eyes instinctively fluttered close as his lips brushed against hers with a tender caress. Though the act lasted only seconds, the impression of his lips burned into hers with searing pain and utter joy.
As he pulled back, she stopped him, hand on his chest. What could she say to express what she was feeling? What could she say to the man that was also a wolf? This strong, restrained man that stood before her with graying hair, troubled blue eyes, and shabby robes; dear gods, he was beautiful! For the first time in her life, she saw past the flesh to the enduring spirit; and in its presence, she felt grateful. Grateful for his friendship and this budding romance.
"Thank you, Remus." She said, running her hand over his heart. Feeling it's steady thud beneath her palm.
He looked a bit confused. "I feel like I'm the one who should be saying those words," he answered as he stroked a lock of blue hair. Look into her eyes, his brow tensed with thought. "Have you ever looked at something without really seeing it?"
"I guess."
His hand moved from her hair to her cheek. "How did I know you, look at you for over a year, but not see you until now?"
Tonks relaxed. Then, smiling cautiously, she replied, "Because you weren't ready to see until now."
She made everything so simple. His pale eyes looked into hers with a tender sadness as he grasped her hands firmly, his voice innocent, his pain naked, "But why now? Why after Sirius?"
Tonks looked away for a moment as she remembered the close bond of friendship the threesome had shared. Then, with bitter happiness, she spoke from her heart, as was her fashion. "We both loved Sirius and he needed it badly. But caring for each other now doesn't mean we loved Sirius any less."
Then pulling her hands out of his, she took his body in her arms and hugged him. Instinctively, he clung to her. "This is okay. It hurts without Sirius, but its okay for us to go on caring for one another without him. It's just a new direction, something deeper than friendship."
Gods! She a mind reader, Remus sighed and squeezed her tighter. They had grown close the year before, and now as he was beginning to feel these new emotions for her, he felt somehow as if he was betraying the memory of Sirius. But she was right. He wasn't betraying Sirius, just letting something natural kneed his heart. And what could be more natural than a love growing between two friends.
They stood in the doorway a long time, before pulling away.
Remus ruffled his hand over her silly, blue buns. "I have to warn you, I'm a werewolf and we're not to be trusted." He wanted to recapture Tonks' smile and poking fun at himself, usually did the job.
She warmly returned his playful attitude, "And I have to warn you that I'm metamophangus. We're sneaky and deceitful."
He laughed, "Touché, Nymphador Tonks!" And stepped from the doorway to the sidewalk.
"Goodnight Remus Lupin," Tonks smiled mischievously, eyes dancing with delight, and shut the door.
***** He walked a few blocks just to relive the night's pleasure in his mind before apparating back to Grimmald Place. It was a quarter past midnight, and he was hoping that he would avoid Leia at such a late hour. Unfortunately, he was wrong.
As soon as he entered through the front doors of the Black homestead, he saw a warm glow imitating from the parlor.
"Remus? Is that you?" A feminine voice asked.
He shut the door behind him and reluctantly entered the living room where Leia, wearing a thin, satin night gown was curled up in an overstuffed chair.
"Yes. Need something?" He asked politely, wanting nothing more than to go to bed.
Leia smiled pleasantly, her eyes the same dark blue as her luxurious gown, "No. Just concerned about you."
"You needed have waited up for me." Remus answered, irritated at her concern.
Her red lips broadened widely, "I'm afraid you flatter your self." Then revealing a small book in her lap, "I've been reading. This is the only room in the house with decent light and it's quite pleasant sitting here by the fire with a glass of wine." Then pausing, and shutting her book, "Care to help me finish the bottle?"
Lupin was in no mood for her games, yet on the other hand, she was his hostess regardless of her violent tendencies with house elves and lovers.
"Alright," he answered wearily, taking a seat on the worn leather couch.
Leia casually poured him a glass of the cabernet. "You'd be amazed at the wine cellar. Sirius's dad has quite the collection down there."
Remus sipped the wine. It was exceptionally good. Then, realization struck him. He hadn't heard Mrs. Black's portrait screaming at him when he entered the house. That's odd. Suddenly, a glint of silver caught his eye. On the side table, between the bottle of wine and a small, worn book was a large cutting board knife.
Eyeing it suspiciously, he raised his eyes to Leia, who was gazing at the fire as she sipped from her glass. "I didn't hear Mrs. Black's portrait when I entered. Were you finally able to remove it from the wall this evening?"
Her sapphire eyes turned on him mockingly. "Not exactly. Most of it is gone, but the frame is still there."
Remus stared at her, willing her to confess. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Mrs. Black's portrait and I had a disagreement about me drinking Mr. Black's wine. And well," Reaching over to the end table and picking up the knife, "I won."
"Hmmm..." Remus answered casually, reclining into the sofa and crossing his legs. Yet internally, he was beginning to have some serious questions about this woman's eagerness for violence. "Don't you think that was a bit drastic?"
"No." She answered frankly. "She was a bloody old bitch and so was her portrait."
"And Kretcher?"
Again, Leia's smile widened like a Cheshire cat and batting her eyelashes, she replied, "I helped Kretcher fulfill a life long dream.."
Remus, smirked and finished off his glass. "You are certainly something, Leia."
"You thought so last night." Her eyes gleamed with mischief.
He knew this was coming. "I'm afraid that was a mistake."
"A mistake? Really? Because from where I was, pressed between the counter and your legs, you seemed to be enjoying it."
Lupin's heart raced. This conversation was making him uncomfortable, but he was determined not to show it. "Just because a man's body reveals lust, doesn't mean that his heart or his mind condones it."
Leia raised a dark brow, "I wasn't aware that I was asking for the other two."
"It's not in my nature to separate the desires of my body from the desires of my soul." Remus answered intently, his pale eyes cold upon her form.
Leia sat down her wine glass and standing, walked over to the sofa. Her womanly form exquisitely revealed beneath a slight covering of twilight blue silk. Her hips and breasts, rubbing rhythmically against the thin veil of material as she stood directly in front of Remus. "I don't think you can resist me."
It was true. As she drew closer, his breath hastened, his heart pulsed faster and his body warmed at her closeness. He felt lustful, but also angry. He didn't like losing control like this. The time for games was over. "Have you charmed me or was there a potion in my drink?"
"Neither," she smirked, "But you feel it, don't you?" Leia knelt down before him, close, but not touching. "Tell me Remus, what do want me to do? F*ck you here, or perhaps you'd like me to put on some of Sirius's old clothes and you could take me that way."
He snapped. His hand flying from his lap, he backhanded her with force. She instantly turned her face, holding a hand to her bloodied lip.
"Oh dear gods!" He murmured, taken aback at his own actions, he scuttled away from her, but as he tried to stand from the sofa, she grabbed at his trousers, laughing.
The same rich, arrogant laughter he'd heard so many times before. "You feel it! The power, the lust, the rage!" Her eyes were black, her laughter mad.
This time he stood, pushing her away, she fell back against the floor. Whipping out his wand, he held it to her throat. "What the hell are you?" His body was as tense as a high wire. "And what are you doing to me?"
The laughter stopped and she looked deep into his eyes. For her too, the games were over. "Allow me to stand, and I will show you."
His lips pressed into a thin line as he judged trustworthiness. Finally, he indicated that she should stand.
Slowly, she stood up from the floor and turning her back to him, she allowed her silken gown to puddle to the floor.
He took a short gasp as he looked upon her naked skin. The soft cameo of her complexion glowed golden from the flames. Shoulder muscles were strong and defined, back straight and buttocks perfectly rounded and firm. Then he noticed her upper thigh and everything became perfectly clear.
The red bite marks and trails of ripping claw scars. It was the mark of a werewolf. Realization shook him. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was still staring at her naked body.
"Put your clothes back on." He commanded, and turned away, cheeks burning.
His back still towards her, "Why didn't you tell me, Leia."
"Because I knew you would resist."
Then turning on his heal, his anger ready. "Resist you because of the wolf or resist you because of your actions?"
"You know what's wrong with you Remus, you're a werewolf, but you're afraid to admit it to your self. You go around so noble and contrite; always in control, always the teacher the listener, the man that does the right thing." Her face reddened, "Your so damn conscious about not being the wolf, you can't be man!"
"That is not true!" He said defiantly, but inwardly, he knew at some point, she was right. However, he was old enough to know screwing Theleia LeStrange wasn't going to make him any more human.
"When was the last time you had rough sex just because it felt good, or hit someone because you were angry?"
He didn't answer.
"We both feel the wolf, Remus. The difference is, I choose to embrace the desires and you choose to deny they exist." She moved closer, only inches away.
His voice low, "I do not deny they exist." His azure eyes flashed with passion. "But I am a man, not a wolf, and I have a conscious."
Leia slid a hand over his shoulder, "We would be so great together. Don't deny that."
He thought it over. Perhaps he should sleep with her, a one night stand with no strings; one night of rough, unbridled, shameless sex. Blood rushed his head, he again reddened. Shaking his head, "I can't."
It was her scent that was seducing him. He knew instantly that he had to get away. He stepped back from her touch, "I can't deny my immortal soul. And regardless of our similar circumstances, sex for the sake of momentary gratification is not acceptable to me."
Theleia gathered up a blanket off chair, covering her bare shoulders. "I knew you were repressed Remus, but such a protestant?"
"We may both be werewolves Leia, but we've chosen very different paths." Then walking to the door of the parlor, he turned the knob, his blue eyes glancing briefly against hers, "I'm sorry."
And as he thought of her, shivering under a thin blanket, alone in the darkness of the parlor, mother insane, father imprisoned, lover dead; he truly did feel sorry for her. For he knew there could be no true happiness in her future, only fleeting moments of illusions.
***** What do you think? Please R&R. Lyra
