Chapter 7: I of the Tiger
The Orange of Doom would like to note a few things. From now on, the Sues' influence will sometimes be shown stylistically as well as through the writer's witty commentary and subtle jests. So when things get strange, just go with the flow…
A/N hahaha sorry it took me THREE WHOLE HOURS to update. I know u guyz were just so upset u couldnt read my brilliant masterpiece of literary awesomeness and i totally don't own inuyasha cuz i'm not rumiko-sensei so don't Sue me.
Jade stared at the old woman. Where the hell am I? One second it's another damned clearing, and now some old hag is muttering something strange about mystic powers and fate.
The said hag looked discerningly at Jade, even though Jade wasn't sure how somebody could look discerningly. It was just the presence of the adverb that mattered.
"I can see a dark future for you. There is much pain in your life. Every day you experience unspeakable horrors."
My god! She knows about the Sues! Or is this just random dramatic crap? And WHY am I here?
"You have many questions, and I can answer them all!" The witch looked dramatic, reminding Jade suddenly of Kaede, even though they had never met. Damned irrational and impossible powers, she thought darkly. "I know why you have come to me! It is because of—DRAMATIC CONVENTION!!!"
"Dramatic convention…" Jade shook her head. In a burst of ominous foreshadowing, she felt as if those words meant something more to her than an idiotic excuse to brutally rape canon. She was almost tempted to go into an angsty flashback.
"Drink this potion, and all will become clear!" The witch handed a small crystal vial to Jade and laughed maniacally before vanishing.
"Why the hell not?" Jade muttered, staring at the potion. "It's not pink and sparkly, so it probably didn't originate from a Sue. Besides, they're never realistically ugly." She unstoppered the potion and, earning herself this particular chapter's Idiot Prize, drank it…
And the world changed. Or, rather, the point of view. Whichever you find more important.
***Jade Vision***
I stared at the clearing, shaking my head. The bloody potion hadn't done anything. Why the HELL had I been dragged here, just to witness such a stupid thing? It didn't make any sense.
Sighing, I stood. I still had to find that bint's One Twu Wuv, unfortunately.
God, sometimes I hate my life.
***Sesshoumaru Vision***
For some reason, I felt like the world had changed. Grammar jumped suddenly and made an irritated noise. I gave her a death glare, concentrated on remaining in character, and returned to imagining inventive ways to destroy the Sues who wanted to be my mates.
Someday I'll kill them all, I cackled, forgetting to use quotation marks and earning myself a glare from Grammar.
***Grammar Vision***
I didn't hear any quotation marks from that! And he cackled! And there were no quotes! And I'm not speaking grammatically, either! And why the hell is this story suddenly in a different viewpoint?
It had been *relatively* normal—GAH. NO. THERE WILL BE NO NETSPEAK IN THIS. It had been relatively normal—well, totally screwed up, which was arguably normal in Sue-infested areas—and then something had changed. I didn't know how to describe it without borrowing terms from another fandom, because my powers of Grammar and Syntax embrace all writing and aren't exactly known for creative license.
Simply put, I had felt a disturbance in the force.
*******MORE RANDOM MARKINGS DENOTING END OF ACTUAL CHAPTER*****
And the grammar and style will get much, much worse…
Now, the essential enigmatic and mind-numbing notes for my random reviewers whose names I made up! I sincerely hope nobody seriously has these as their pen names…that would be sad.
pUnKgOtHnErDgRRl12345—omg yes it is! i'm not saying WHAT it is or what It is but u r so TOTALLY right and all my other reviewers are totally clueless!
fluffys_hanyu_mate—lol that rox! u totally read my mind for the next chappie!
whutzcanon?—yes, it IS totally a sere/sesshy pairing (Orange of Doom would like to interject here, for the sake of sanity, that it bloody well ISN'T anything of the sort and her sue-spawn author is an idiot)
I Have Taste—u r SOO mean just cuz u r jealous of my writing skills doesnt mean you can flame me b/c this story ROX and your just a jerk
