Chapter 8: The Eigth Chapter.  In all chapters, this is the eighth thereof, making this (the chapter) eight in number.

This disclaimer was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department brought you this disclaimer: I do now own Inu-Yasha, which is not mine.

***Jade Vision***

Common sense—I have to find somebody with common sense.  I hate this, really I do.  It's like a fire in my brain.  It burns!  And what the hell is up with this redundancy?

Suddenly I saw Kikyo and I walked over to her, because she was suddenly there to further the plot.

Kikyo turned to look at me and her eyes were filled with fire and hatred.  "Come with me…to HELL!" she shouted.  "No longer am I a complex character with deep emotional reasons for what I do; I'm a vindictive bitch bent on irrationally destroying everything!  Bwahahahaha!"

I blinked, blinking in surprise.  She's out of character, I thought, marveling at how out of character—I stopped.  I would NOT be redundant.  Not when the style was already so screwed up, with the POV changed around.

Style…Dramatic Convention…I blinked as random foreshadowing thoughts ran through my head.  Point of View…ellipsis…angst…

I gave myself a mental headslap.  Stop being an idiot.  Obviously, something is wrong, and you have to figure out what it is!

***Kikyo Vision***

Mwahahahaha!  I hate them all!  Die!  Die!  Die!

***Jade Vision***

There must be a lot of Sues nearby, I thought.  Kikyo is really OOC.  It was getting irritating.

Suddenly, I realized what was the matter.  This wasn't Kikyo at all, but a dreaded Kikyo-Sue.  Sighing, I grabbed my dagger and flung it at the Sue, who did the sparkly-death thing Sues tend to do rather than bleed their guts out.  It was really quite unsatisfying.

I continued my journey, looking for something.  The redundancy seemed to be better, even if the Point of View issues remained.  It's the handmaidens of Canonica, I thought, then shook my head.  Once again, my illogical ability to know everything happening was doing strange things with my mind.  I had spent too much time with Serenity.

I stopped in front of a temple, because it seemed like a good place for the plot to be developed.  Usually, forest clearings or rivers did the job; occasionally, rural villages were used.  But there were none of those around, so temples were the next best place to meet somebody new or have a startling revelation.

I saw another woman, cradling her head in her hands.  She must have heard me, because she looked up.  When she saw me, she blinked.

"Thank goodness you're here/I was going so crazy/Wishing they were gone!"  She smiled at me.  "In all of the world/The most horrible demon/Is that of the Sue."

I blinked.  She was speaking in haiku.  That was a sure sign of mental instability.

"Why are you here?" I asked, prepared to kill her if she was a Sue, which seemed unlikely.  Any poetry they wrote would be a lot worse, because it would try to be romantic or angsty.

"I am their captive/Bound here to suffer their words/It's melting my brain."  She shook her head.  "It's like a fire/The stupidity—it burns/Gods preserve us all."

"So…the Sues imprisoned you?"  She must be Style, I realized.  Nobody else would bother speaking in haiku.

"To put it plainly/I am indeed that Lady/Whom you need so much."  I sighed.  I did need Style if I was going to stop the Sues…but the haiku was a bit too much.  I had only spoken with the Literary Device for a few minutes, but already I had a headache.

***Style Vision***

Something is wrong here/A warping of this story/Who is this woman?

Now I shake my head/Wondering if this person/Knows what's happening.

What the hell is wrong?/Serenity's  influence/Is growing too fast.

*******Orange Vision (or, the end of the chapter)*******

Wow.  I almost respect the Sue authors.  It takes some incredibly warped talent to write that badly.  Either that or a total lack of talent.  Unfortunately, I suspect the latter, which makes me want to bludgeon the authors in addition to the Sues.