AN: Enjoy. Thanks for the reviews and for hanging with me while I try to finish all my stories. This one isn't done but I'm happy with it. Hope the readers are as well. More to come.
*****
"Hey," Seth glances up as Ryan steps into the poolhouse. "Everything okay?"
"Eh," Ryan shrugs, sitting down.
"That's not even a word," Marissa responds.
"I didn't hear any yelling so it must not have been that bad," Seth says. Ryan doesn't answer, keeping his eyes lowered.
"Ryan…" Marissa starts.
"Guys, can we just study? I really don't feel like talking anymore," Ryan says quietly.
"Sure. The test is tomorrow," Seth says immediately. "And these flash cards are not working for me."
Marissa put her arm around Ryan and he tenses up before relaxing against her. "Ryan hasn't seen the cards yet. I'm almost finished, why don't you take a look?"
Ryan accepts the stack of index cards and examines them carefully. His hands are shaking and he drops them in a heap on the floor.
"That's what I said," Seth jokes and Marissa laughs. "Just leave them."
*****
Marissa leaves around midnight. Seth is dozing on the couch in the poolhouse. Ryan walks inside and finds Kirsten, Jackie and Sandy eating ice cream and drinking coffee.
"Hey."
"Hey, kid. Hungry?" Sandy asks.
"Not really. Thanks, though," Ryan replies.
"What's up?" Kirsten asks.
"Well, I'm really tired and I won't sleep if this is still hanging over me…this conversation, I mean. I might as well kill 3 conversations all at once right here," Ryan says.
"Have at it, then," Jackie smiles.
"Okay," Ryan sighs. "I'll call Dawn tomorrow and tell her that I'm done. If she calls again, I'll call the cops. She'll know I'm serious. That way, it'll all be over. If she contacts me again, you guys can handle it. My hands will be clean."
"Ryan, I don't know if you should talk to her…" Kirsten admits.
"I won't see her in person. But I have to say goodbye. I need…I need the closure."
"We'll try it," Sandy sighs after a long silence.
"Thank you. Now I'm going to bed." Ryan leaves.
"Well. That was…unusual," Jackie mutters.
"We'll try it, Jackie. I trust him. But I'm still filing the restraining orders and all the paperwork to adopt Ryan. But we'll do his thing as well," Sandy adds.
*****
After their history test the next day, Seth is walking with Ryan to lunch.
"Seth," Ryan interrupts his riff on Summer's miniskirt.
"Yeah?" He glances at Ryan. Ryan opens his mouth to speak but his eyes roll back suddenly and he staggers. Seth catches him before he hits the floor but they both fall in a heap.
"Cohen?" Seth glances up and recognizes Luke.
"Can you get a nurse or something?" Seth asks. Ryan is breathing but is unconscious.
"Seth? Oh my god, Ryan!" Marissa joins Seth beside Ryan. A crowd has started to gather. Luke returns with the nurse.
"He just collapsed," Seth mutters. He slaps Ryan's face and his eyelids flutter.
"Ryan?" Marissa calls.
"Yeah. Yeah?" Ryan slowly opens his eyes.
"Dude, are you okay?" Seth asks. Ryan sits up slowly.
"Yeah…what happened?" Ryan asks.
"You passed out," Seth responds. "Scared the hell out of me."
"Sorry…" Ryan replies. He accepts Seth's help to get up and the nurse takes Ryan's arm and leads him to the nurses' office.
*****
Kirsten walks into the kitchen, intending to go straight to the poolhouse to check on Ryan but she stops, hearing a voice from the den. The nurse and Dr. Kim let Seth take Ryan home and then return to school. Ryan had convinced her on the phone that he was okay. Dr. Kim had told Kirsten that Ryan had seemed tired and had fallen asleep in a couple of his classes recently.
"I am telling you the truth. I don't want to see you anymore," Ryan says. He is sitting in the den with Jackie beside him. Jackie puts her finger to her lips and Kirsten steps in.
"It's my decision…you bring me down, Ma," He says. His eyes are closed but his voice is even. Jackie's hand is on his back. He holds a phone with one hand and a glass of juice with the other.
Ryan sighs. "If you call me again, I'll tell the Cohens everything…don't threaten me…I'm not afraid of you…"
Kirsten can't hear what Dawn yells into the phone and Ryan's face doesn't react.
"I'll tell them everything, Ma. What you're on, what you're doing for money…" Ryan pauses, listening. He opens his eyes and a flash of emotion washes across his pale face. "It's done. Just forget about me, Ma…"
Jackie and Kirsten gasp as Ryan's glass shatters in his hand.
"Yeah. You, too," Ryan says coldly. Ryan hangs up the phone and rushes to the bathroom.
"Jackie…" Kirsten starts.
"He called me. He said he passed out at school today and that he was flipping out. When I got here, he was already talking to her. I think she called him," Jackie explains.
"Poor kid," Kirsten mutters.
"I'll go check on him. Is there a first aid kit for his hand?" Jackie asks.
"Under the sink," Kirsten nods.
Jackie goes to the bathroom and gently pushes open the cracked door.
Ryan is standing in front of the mirror with his bleeding hand over the sink. His blue eyes are dull and distant.
"Ryan."
Ryan doesn't answer. He is staring at his hand. Jackie gently takes his injured hand and examines it. A shard of glass is hanging from his hand and she gasps.
"Sorry…" He says suddenly, pulling his hand away. He quickly pulls the shard out and drops it in the sink.
"Ryan, let me see…" Jackie urges.
"No, I got it...I let her get to me and then I saw the blood and I just bugged…" Ryan mutters as he wraps his hand in a towel.
"It's okay. But I want to see your hand, kid," Jackie says. She pushes him to sit on the closed toilet. She unwraps his hand and examines it.
"I didn't do it on purpose…" Ryan whispers.
"I know, Ryan. But what worries me is that you still used the pain to get through that…"
"Fuck you, Jackie," Ryan snaps suddenly. He pulls his hand away and cradles it against him. He bolts from the bathroom.
"Ryan, wait…wait…" Jackie rushes after him.
Ryan stops when he sees Kirsten in the kitchen. He glances between her and Jackie.
"Ryan, wait a second…" Jackie says gently.
Ryan turns to Kirsten. "Please…" He starts. She goes to his side and takes his arm as his body starts to shake. Kirsten turns him to face her and sees his eyes roll back slightly in his head. She takes his other arm and steadies him.
"Ryan? Ryan, what's wrong?" Kirsten asks, worried. She pushes him gently to lean against the wall as his body seems to deflate. "Ryan?"
He blinks and she can see him fighting to stay conscious. His blue eyes are rolled back in his head and she can barely see the blues of his pupils.
"Ryan, I want you to take a deep breath and look at me, okay?" Kirsten says gently. Jackie joins Kirsten beside Ryan. Kirsten releases his arms and he slumps to the floor, gasping for breath.
"Ryan?" Jackie calls.
Ryan slowly catches his breath and meets their worried gaze, clearly confused.
"Are you okay, honey?"
"I…I got dizzy and…I…I thought…" Ryan murmurs.
"Are you okay, now? Still dizzy?" Kirsten asks.
"Yeah…a little…" Ryan admits.
"Have you been eating, Ryan?" Jackie kneels beside him and holds open his dazed eyes and looks in them.
"Yeah…I even ate breakfast today…" Ryan replies honestly.
"It could have been a panic attack…" Jackie says to Kirsten.
"Have you been sleeping, Ryan?" Kirsten asks. "Dr. Kim says you've been falling asleep in class…"
"I can't sleep…I haven't slept more than an hour or so in a few days…" Ryan admits.
"In days? How long, kid? When's the last time you slept?" Jackie asks.
"I don't know…a while…" Ryan mutters.
"Ryan, let's get you off the floor before Sandy comes in and thinks we attacked you," Kirsten says, giving Jackie a worried glance. She helps him off the floor.
"Can I go get cleaned up?" Ryan asks. "I promise I won't fall out again, I just want to fix my hand and wash off this day."
"Ryan…" Jackie starts.
"He's not going anywhere. Go get cleaned up, Ryan and then come right back," Kirsten says, glancing at her.
"Thanks," Ryan says. He leaves the house in a rush.
"He flipped on me," Jackie admits. "And I'm used to dealing with it, but not from him…something she said to him set him off…"
"Set him off? You don't think he's just getting hit with a bunch of stuff at once?"
"I don't know, Kirsten. But he has to talk to me if he wants me to help him," Jackie adds.
