Ryan takes a hot shower and then bandages his hand. He doesn't want the Cohens to see the damage, fearing a trip to the ER. He knows it will heal. His hands are shaking as he pulls on a long sleeved shirt. He's tired. He's never been this tired.

He hasn't cut himself in several weeks. He tries to placate his need by smoking a cigarette or calling Marissa just to listen. He doesn't mind his visits to Jackie but he doesn't believe they're helping him. He isn't sure that he can be helped. He still feels like he's dying inside his skin.

"Ryan?" Jackie's voice carries to the bathroom.

"I'm not taking off, Jackie," Ryan calls. He doesn't comb his hair but steps out. Jackie is walking around the poolhouse with a curious expression on her face.

"Hey."

"Hey. Am I on a timer?" Ryan asks.

"What did she say to you?" Jackie asks.

"What?" Ryan asks, confused.

"Your mother. What did she say?"

Ryan doesn't respond. He isn't going to talk about this.

Jackie sighs. "Ryan, come on. Don't run away. Don't curse me out. Just answer my question. What did your mother say on the phone?"

Ryan meets her gaze. He doesn't shake. "Nothing. She didn't say a word."

Jackie shakes her head. "She said something so horrific to you that you clenched your fist so tight that you broke a glass, Ryan."

"So why the fuck would I repeat it to you?" Ryan asks calmly.

"Because you need to talk about it…" Jackie says.

Ryan snorts.

"Kid…"

"No. I'm tired."

"You're throwing a tantrum."

"Whatever," Ryan mutters.

"Goddammit, Ryan. Talk to me," Jackie demands.

"Can't you just leave it alone?"

"No. I don't want to give you time to put your thoughts together. I want you to tell me what your mother said."

"Nothing." Ryan walks past her and sits down on the bed.

"Ryan, please…" She sits down beside him. She looks at his face. His eyelids are drooping and his eyes are fully dilated. "Ryan?"

"She didn't say anything that I'll ever repeat, Jackie…" Ryan says quietly. He meets her gaze.

"Are you feeling okay?"

He sighs. "I'm tired."

"Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"You're my therapist, you tell me…" Ryan mutters.

"I'm not a very good therapist for you, it seems…" She replies.

"I'd say it's not you, it's me, but it'd sound like we're breaking up," Ryan sighs. "I need to go talk to Kirsten."

"I think you need to sleep. You're exhausted. You're stressed out. Lie down. Let Kirsten and Sandy come to you," Jackie says.

"I can make it…"

"I have no doubt. But humor me this one time," Jackie says.

"Okay. Just this one time," He mutters. "Like I believe that." He lies down.

"You're really mad at me, aren't you?" Jackie asks.

"No, Jackie. I'm really tired, though."

She waits for him to continue but he is asleep.


Seth walks in from school and is surprised to find Jackie and Kirsten in the kitchen alone.

"What's up, ladies?"

"Hey, Seth," Jackie smiles.

"How's Ryan?" Seth asks.

"Sleeping," Kirsten replies.

"Is he okay?" Seth asks immediately.

"He…he's fine, Seth. Jackie thinks he fainted because he hasn't been sleeping," Kirsten explains.

"I don't believe you. Is he really fine?" Seth questions.

"His mom called. He was upset when he went to sleep. Sandy's with him," Kirsten says.

"Dad's watching him sleep? Creepy," Seth remarks.

"How's Ryan been lately, Seth?" Jackie asks.

"What's lately? He's Ryan…I mean, he has been tired lately. He's fallen asleep a couple of times when I was talking to him but everyone does that," Seth says. He glances at his mother. "He's smoking more, but if you tell him I told you, I'll deny it."

"Okay, Seth," Kirsten says.

"I'm going to go relieve Dad," Seth says.

Jackie turns to Kirsten after Seth closes the door behind him. "Ryan talks to Seth more than any of us."

"That's true. Ryan wouldn't tell us anything if he didn't run it by Seth first. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."


"I think we should stick to the hot pink. Chino wouldn't be caught dead in it."

"Summer, Ryan wouldn't be caught dead in lipstick period."

"Hurry, before he wakes up or Cohen gets back…"

"I think this is a bad idea…"

Ryan opens his eyes and finds Summer and Marissa sitting on opposite sides of him on his bed. Summer is holding a tube of lipstick and Marissa has a blush compact. "You ladies are seriously out of line."

They both gasp in surprise and Ryan slides past them, standing up with his hands up.

"Ryan, you're awake," Marissa blushes.

"Yeah. Sorry I can't play makeup," Ryan smiles, amused. "Where's Seth? What time is it?"

"You've been asleep, for like, ever. It's Saturday. Cohen's washing his face."

"You get him with the hot pink?" Ryan asks.

"Cherry corvette red," Seth says, walking in. "Nice to see you conscious."

Ryan slaps his hand. "Thanks."

"Hey, both of you guys were just passed out. We had to do something," Summer shrugs.

"Unlike Seth, I have a sixth sense when it comes to girls putting makeup on me while I'm sleeping. I'm proud to say that it's never happened." Ryan's amusement fades from his face as he turns to Seth. "Is it really Saturday?"

"Yeah, dude. You passed out Thursday afternoon and didn't even move until this morning. Mom and Dad figured you needed your sleep so they didn't wake you," Seth explains.

"Damn. I'm going to go get a shower. It's like I'm hungover I'm so tired…" Ryan mutters.

"Hurry up. We want to go to the beach. Coop and I are in serious need of some tanning," Summer says.

"What are you guys doing here?" Ryan asks with a smile.

"Kirsten and Sandy let us in. We were bored hanging out at my Mom's so we just stopped by," Marissa replies.

Ryan puts his hand on her shoulder as he walks to the bathroom. "Thanks for stopping by. I'll see you guys in a few minutes.