A/N: Wow, it's been so long! I was really bummed to see that I had the
'do not except anonymous reviews' on. I had no idea it was on! So please,
review! Thank you, guys! Oh and congrats to J.D. for his award! Have you
seen the T.V. guide? Ooh baby a nice picture of him in there! Oh one more
thing, please read my new story 'The Butterfly's Blessing' if you haven't
already. I have no reviews on it! ~Adrienne
Chapter Six: Lifeless Life
My body is a numb heap. My world is a lifeless pile of melancholy.
I lay on the floor of the filthy cell. I stare up at the ceiling with my clouded eyes. Once upon a day I felt slight happiness in my brown rounds. But that day is gone, along with my freedom, and soon my life. It is now my past, a past that I once shamed, but now admire and long for. The minutes feel as hours, hours as days. I am unaware as to what my companions talk about or do.
"Anna, you have been laying there for what seems as eternity. Have you realized your actions?" Will questions me.
I do not answer. I shut my eyes tightly. Willing the walls I built that created a silence Will destroyed. I wish not to communicate, just sulk in the memories of the life I once possessed that so many looked down upon.
"She obviously doesn't wan' to talk, Willy Boy. Just let her be," Jack commands.
"I'm concerned, Jack. That is all."
"Don't be, William. Worry about yourself, we have yet a day." It was a forced remark, but it had to be said.
His handsome eyes die of life for but a second. I brought forth a shattering reminder of the resenting hour of our death at the gallows. At least I will die beside my friends, although, I wish them life.
"I cannot worry for myself when I have such friends. It would be selfish, Anna. Besides, my heart is worried for Elizabeth too much. I have not it in me to worry for myself as well."
"Aye, an' I be worried for me crew and me boat. Err. ship."
"I am worried for no one. I do not feel anymore; I cannot feel. Without feelings, how is one to love? Without love, how is one to worry?" I ask, keeping my content gaze upon the ceiling. My voice is emotionless, dull.
"Anna this cell is harming you. You are becoming nothing. We should make the best of our days together. We should not resent tomorrow, but enjoy today," Will enlightens.
I quickly sat up and my gaze fell upon William. How dare he preach his ignorance! "And what are we to do, William? Please, tell me this! Are we to play tic-tac-toe in the dirt that we lay upon? Or are we to play I Spy? Or how about we play the a-b-c game? Take your pick! Choose wisely, William, we have but a day!"
"I was just trying to help you, Anna, but I guess that is not what you need. You have been living on your own for so long, you don't need anyone. How quickly I forget that you refuse to let anyone care about you! You love to hear strangers talk pity for you! You love to have people look down upon you because better bad attention than none, correct? Admit it, Ms. Cunnington, for, as you will not let us forget, we have but a day!"
I angrily stare at William. Quiet engulfing the cell. Jack breaks the deafening silence.
"Aye, I 'ave an idea! Let's sing the pirate song!" Jack smirks.
"Oh yes, just what I always wanted to do! Sing the 'pirate song' with an insane pirate and a blacksmith with a stick up his ass! Woo-hoo! I would rather die now, thank you!"
"Fine then, I'll be o'er here singin' it by me onsies! If you care to join in, don't bother, 'cause ye called me insane. Anyway, I don't want to be singin' it with a woman who has more drama than me Scarlet."
I look at Will with a questioning gaze. "Scarlet?" I whisper. He shrugs his shoulders.
"Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" Jack pauses. "William, sing with me!"
"We pillage we plunder, we rifle and loot; drink up me hearties, Yo ho! We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot; drink up me hearties, Yo ho!"
While Jack sings the awful 'pirate song', Will continues to argue with me.
"Why won't you just let go, Anna? Why can't you just let Jack and I in and enjoy our last day?"
"Will, why won't you just let it be? Why must we speak of tomorrow? Why must I enjoy my last day? My whole life I have been wishing to die, and now that I am to, I want to die unhappy so I don't drive myself crazy!"
"Why would you drive yourself crazy by trying to have a good time?"
"Because when I lay to rest tonight, after 'enjoying' myself, I will wish I would've lived my life differently and that I would have said 'hello' to you everyday! I don't want to ponder on what could've been, William! I want to lay to rest and think about the good times! If I get a taste of what could've been tonight, than I won't want it to end! I want to die unhappy because that is how I've spent my life. I want to die as I have lived. I want to die alone!" The relief of dying beside my friends has faded.
Jack reminds us of what we have forgotten.
"We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs; drink up me hearties, Yo ho! We're beggars and blighters and ne'er do well cads; drink up me hearties, Yo ho! Aye, but we're loved by our mommies 'n dads; drink up me hearties, Yo ho! Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!"
Jack stares at me with a blank face. All of a sudden, he busts into tears. This startles Will and I, immensely.
"Jack, what's wrong?" I ask, rushing to his side.
"I was ne'er loved by me mommy or me dad!" He sobs.
"Oh Jack, I'm sorry. Although, you're not alone, because neither was I."
He cries harder and grabs my shirt to wipe his eyes. Black kohl is smudged upon the part of my shirt that he used.
"Jack, I must say, I have never seen you so emotional. It is quite odd." William refrains from laughing.
"Shut up, Willy, I didn't laugh at ye when ye cried las' night!"
"Well that's because you cried also, Jack." Will couldn't help but giggle. I smile at the pathetic pirate.
"Yes, but I wasn't fakin' it las' night!"
"So you are saying that you are faking it now?" I ask.
He smugly smiles at me. Right away, that answered my question.
"Why would you do something like that?" I question, my anger boiling. I leave his side as quickly as I had joined it.
"'Cause ye two weren't listenin' to me song!" Jack snaps his smirk fading. "Ye were too busy whinin'!"
"I'm sorry, Jack. But Will won't let me be."
"Yes, I am sorry too, Jack. But Anna won't cheer up."
"Ye too are somethin' else, ye know tha'? Anyway, I jus' cheered her righ' up! She smiled for me."
"I did not!"
"Did too, ye cad!"
"Did not!"
"Oye, why I oughta!" He raises his fist.
"Ought to what, Jack? I dare you to hit me!"
Aggravated, he sighs. "Women."
Will hushes us at the sound of someone running down the steps.
"Jack? Jack, ye be in here?" A soft voice calls.
"Yes, who be ye?" Jack replies while standing up for the first time that morning.
The dark figure steps forward into the soft candlelight. The three of us gasp at the person before us, illuminated in the soft glow.
At the sight before us, I forget what tomorrow beholds and the argument I was but-a-second ago involved in.
Chapter Six: Lifeless Life
My body is a numb heap. My world is a lifeless pile of melancholy.
I lay on the floor of the filthy cell. I stare up at the ceiling with my clouded eyes. Once upon a day I felt slight happiness in my brown rounds. But that day is gone, along with my freedom, and soon my life. It is now my past, a past that I once shamed, but now admire and long for. The minutes feel as hours, hours as days. I am unaware as to what my companions talk about or do.
"Anna, you have been laying there for what seems as eternity. Have you realized your actions?" Will questions me.
I do not answer. I shut my eyes tightly. Willing the walls I built that created a silence Will destroyed. I wish not to communicate, just sulk in the memories of the life I once possessed that so many looked down upon.
"She obviously doesn't wan' to talk, Willy Boy. Just let her be," Jack commands.
"I'm concerned, Jack. That is all."
"Don't be, William. Worry about yourself, we have yet a day." It was a forced remark, but it had to be said.
His handsome eyes die of life for but a second. I brought forth a shattering reminder of the resenting hour of our death at the gallows. At least I will die beside my friends, although, I wish them life.
"I cannot worry for myself when I have such friends. It would be selfish, Anna. Besides, my heart is worried for Elizabeth too much. I have not it in me to worry for myself as well."
"Aye, an' I be worried for me crew and me boat. Err. ship."
"I am worried for no one. I do not feel anymore; I cannot feel. Without feelings, how is one to love? Without love, how is one to worry?" I ask, keeping my content gaze upon the ceiling. My voice is emotionless, dull.
"Anna this cell is harming you. You are becoming nothing. We should make the best of our days together. We should not resent tomorrow, but enjoy today," Will enlightens.
I quickly sat up and my gaze fell upon William. How dare he preach his ignorance! "And what are we to do, William? Please, tell me this! Are we to play tic-tac-toe in the dirt that we lay upon? Or are we to play I Spy? Or how about we play the a-b-c game? Take your pick! Choose wisely, William, we have but a day!"
"I was just trying to help you, Anna, but I guess that is not what you need. You have been living on your own for so long, you don't need anyone. How quickly I forget that you refuse to let anyone care about you! You love to hear strangers talk pity for you! You love to have people look down upon you because better bad attention than none, correct? Admit it, Ms. Cunnington, for, as you will not let us forget, we have but a day!"
I angrily stare at William. Quiet engulfing the cell. Jack breaks the deafening silence.
"Aye, I 'ave an idea! Let's sing the pirate song!" Jack smirks.
"Oh yes, just what I always wanted to do! Sing the 'pirate song' with an insane pirate and a blacksmith with a stick up his ass! Woo-hoo! I would rather die now, thank you!"
"Fine then, I'll be o'er here singin' it by me onsies! If you care to join in, don't bother, 'cause ye called me insane. Anyway, I don't want to be singin' it with a woman who has more drama than me Scarlet."
I look at Will with a questioning gaze. "Scarlet?" I whisper. He shrugs his shoulders.
"Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" Jack pauses. "William, sing with me!"
"We pillage we plunder, we rifle and loot; drink up me hearties, Yo ho! We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot; drink up me hearties, Yo ho!"
While Jack sings the awful 'pirate song', Will continues to argue with me.
"Why won't you just let go, Anna? Why can't you just let Jack and I in and enjoy our last day?"
"Will, why won't you just let it be? Why must we speak of tomorrow? Why must I enjoy my last day? My whole life I have been wishing to die, and now that I am to, I want to die unhappy so I don't drive myself crazy!"
"Why would you drive yourself crazy by trying to have a good time?"
"Because when I lay to rest tonight, after 'enjoying' myself, I will wish I would've lived my life differently and that I would have said 'hello' to you everyday! I don't want to ponder on what could've been, William! I want to lay to rest and think about the good times! If I get a taste of what could've been tonight, than I won't want it to end! I want to die unhappy because that is how I've spent my life. I want to die as I have lived. I want to die alone!" The relief of dying beside my friends has faded.
Jack reminds us of what we have forgotten.
"We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs; drink up me hearties, Yo ho! We're beggars and blighters and ne'er do well cads; drink up me hearties, Yo ho! Aye, but we're loved by our mommies 'n dads; drink up me hearties, Yo ho! Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!"
Jack stares at me with a blank face. All of a sudden, he busts into tears. This startles Will and I, immensely.
"Jack, what's wrong?" I ask, rushing to his side.
"I was ne'er loved by me mommy or me dad!" He sobs.
"Oh Jack, I'm sorry. Although, you're not alone, because neither was I."
He cries harder and grabs my shirt to wipe his eyes. Black kohl is smudged upon the part of my shirt that he used.
"Jack, I must say, I have never seen you so emotional. It is quite odd." William refrains from laughing.
"Shut up, Willy, I didn't laugh at ye when ye cried las' night!"
"Well that's because you cried also, Jack." Will couldn't help but giggle. I smile at the pathetic pirate.
"Yes, but I wasn't fakin' it las' night!"
"So you are saying that you are faking it now?" I ask.
He smugly smiles at me. Right away, that answered my question.
"Why would you do something like that?" I question, my anger boiling. I leave his side as quickly as I had joined it.
"'Cause ye two weren't listenin' to me song!" Jack snaps his smirk fading. "Ye were too busy whinin'!"
"I'm sorry, Jack. But Will won't let me be."
"Yes, I am sorry too, Jack. But Anna won't cheer up."
"Ye too are somethin' else, ye know tha'? Anyway, I jus' cheered her righ' up! She smiled for me."
"I did not!"
"Did too, ye cad!"
"Did not!"
"Oye, why I oughta!" He raises his fist.
"Ought to what, Jack? I dare you to hit me!"
Aggravated, he sighs. "Women."
Will hushes us at the sound of someone running down the steps.
"Jack? Jack, ye be in here?" A soft voice calls.
"Yes, who be ye?" Jack replies while standing up for the first time that morning.
The dark figure steps forward into the soft candlelight. The three of us gasp at the person before us, illuminated in the soft glow.
At the sight before us, I forget what tomorrow beholds and the argument I was but-a-second ago involved in.
