title: Marriage, Sunnydale-Style
author: Heather (heather@hella-good.org)
rating: R
spoilers: none...completely an au/fantasy fic except for things borrowed from the Buffyverse (seasons 1-7) that are twisted to fit in this universe.
disclaimer: If I actually owned anything, I probably wouldn't be doing this :)
summary: After almost 10 years of dating, Buffy and Spike finally find themselves in the midst of planning a wedding and remembering the long journey that got them there.

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Chapter 24

"Cordy, you know him best. Has he ever said anything to you about it?" Buffy asked.

"We're not as close as we once were. Things changed when I moved back here but come on, Buffy, you were his one. I could have told you that."

"But what about Darla? I mean, they're having a child together-"

"He wasn't in love with Darla when they were actually together. It's no different now," Cordy interrupted.

"Did Spike say anything else?" Tara asked.

"No, it was just like I told you. This is crazy, right? I mean it's been ten years...shouldn't he have let it go by now?" Buffy rubbed her temples in an effort to ward off the headache she could feel coming on.

"You don't ever think about it?" Willow asked. "I mean, not in the 'I wish I was with Angel' sense but, you know, just thinking about it?"

"Do you?" Tara asked her, surprised.

"Well, how much trouble am I going to be in?" Willow retorted, giving Tara an embarrassed smile. Tara put her hand on Willow's knee and gave it a small squeeze.

"I've thought about it, sure," Buffy answered, seemingly not hearing Willow and Tara's conversation. "I mean he was the first man I loved, so yeah..."

"But you don't think you'd ever want him back, right?" Dawn asked, nervously. Buffy looked at Dawn and shook her head. "Thank god."

"I'm sure any one of us who has been in this situation knows about it. I've tried to picture a life with Angel and I just can't. Even when I allow my mind to wander, there's always the bigger, much smarter and louder part of my brain that flashes Spike in my head. The first time we met, our first non-date date, the prom, the Halloween party, the night he asked me to marry him and I finally said yes. All these big and small events that my life has because of him and Angel becomes...it's just a distant memory. I'm glad for it, sure, it helped shape who I am but Spike...he's my one, the only."

"What are you going to do?" Cordy asked.

"I haven't a clue. I have half a mind to go there and let him have it but I don't want to make him feel badly because he isn't over us. Is it my fault? Do you think because we became friends that it gave him a bit of hope?"

"Absolutely not, Buffy," Willow told her adamantly.

"You know I love Angel and would do anything for him but he put himself in this position. He's never tried to move on, always too scared to do it and now he's stuck. It's his problem, he will and can deal with it on his own," Cordelia said.

"But I want him to be there. And it's so selfish of me to expect him to be there. I mean I never would have pushed Spike to ask him to be a part of it if I had any idea that he still felt something for me. God, I'm such a bitch!"

"No, you're not, sweetie. But maybe you should let him bow out gracefully," Tara suggested. "Let him come to you and take any excuse he gives you as the truth and accept it."

"Yeah, he sure as hell isn't going to say he loves you and can't be in the wedding because of it," Dawn threw in. "Although it would be kind of funny if he did."

"Dawn..." Buffy warned.

"Jeez, just saying..." Dawn said, getting off the couch. "You guy's want anything?" They all shook their heads and Dawn shrugged. She rounded the corner to the small hall that led to the kitchen and stopped when she saw Spike sitting at the table. She quirked an eyebrow, smiled and continued down the hall. She crept up behind him and said, "What are you doing?"

He jumped in his seat and turned to look at her, relief crossing his face that it was Dawn. "Keep you voice down, Bit. I'm trying to eavesdrop."

"Didn't you leave to get suits?"

"We're done. Now, shh."

"Where are the rest of the men?" she asked, taking a seat across from him.

"Grabbing a bite."

"Not hungry?"

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" She nodded and he rolled his eyes. "You Summers' women are going to be the death of me."

"It's funny, Spike."

"My future hanging in the balance is funny?"

"Oh, please, Miss Dramatic. If you honestly believed that information would do anything to Buffy other than make her reconsider her friendship with him, you're a dummy."

"Yeah? Then why'd you sound so panicked when you asked if she thought of going back to him?"

"I, uh, so did not!"

"Dawn? You okay?" they heard Buffy call from the other room. Spike put his finger to his lips and she nodded.

"Yeah, fine! Just talking to my imaginary, neurotic friend," Dawn answered.

"That's good," Buffy said, absently.

"Neurotic?" Spike asked

"You're the one sitting out here, listening on your girlfriend's conversation about her ex, worrying about future bliss...yeah, I'm sticking with neurotic," she told him with a smile so infectious that he returned it. "So, happy anniversary by the way. Have a good morning?"

"You're still only fourteen in my mind, you know, so I'm not answering that question and I don't care for the tone of your voice that implies you know exactly-"

"God, Spike, I'm not joining a convent, you know. I do know about these things," Dawn interrupted, annoyed.

"From books, movies and television, right?"

"Yeah, huh," Dawn agreed, not entirely convincing Spike.

"I'm talking to your sister about this. And if it's Connor-"

"Spike? What are you doing home?" Buffy asked as she came down the hall with Willow, Tara and Cordelia in tow.

"We finished quicker than we thought we would. And I was just chatting up the Bit, here."

"Well, we're going accessories shopping and I'm sure you don't want to do that." Spike shook his head quickly and she laughed. "Okay, but you don't know what you're missing." She gave him a quick kiss on the mouth and turned to Dawn. "Are you coming or are you going to keep Spike company?"

"Nope, I'm coming. Our conversation was getting weird so best to scoot out before he gets all Dad-like with me. Let me just get my stuff," Dawn answered, shooting out of her seat.

"What was that about?" Buffy asked.

"Is she...never mind," Spike began but then stopped.

"Is she what?" Buffy prodded.

"We'll talk about it later."

"No way. How are we supposed to tease her all afternoon if we don't know what you two were talking about?" Cordelia demanded.

"No."

"Oops, there goes the clenching. He means business, Cordy," Willow teased.

"Will the two of you please leave him alone?" Buffy asked with a smile, running her fingers through Spike's hair.

"Thanks, luv."

"I'm ready," Dawn announced, coming back into the room. Buffy kissed Spike again and everyone said their goodbyes, leaving the apartment. Dawn stuck her head through the door before closing and asked, "You didn't say anything, right? Because I would hate to tell Buffy what you were actually doing sitting there."

"You're all alike, you know that?" Spike grumbled.

"I'll take that as a no and a compliment," Dawn said, cheerfully and closed the door.

"Bleeding women..."

-----------------------

"You think Buffy will be surprised?" Xander asked.

"That's the plan so she better be," Spike answered, lighting a cigarette.

"Are you ever going to quit smoking? It's not cool, you know."

"Right, I forgot that you know all about the cool," Spike said, smirking. "I've already cut down. We're not having another round of tell Spike how bad smoking is."

"We're just looking out for you, man."

"You're dating Cordelia again?" Spike asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"Left field, here comes Spike."

"We were talking about hazards to our health..."

"We're sorting through things, I guess. At least I have a date for the wedding now."

"What about the Southern bird?"

"After everyone told me what a genius she is, I couldn't go through with it. I told Wes to forget it."

"Yeah, I see your point. You don't have to pretend with Cordelia...she already knows you're the way you are."

"You're just rolling them off tonight, aren't ya?" They shared a laugh before Xander turned serious. "I'm happy. Despite everything, it's different. It almost seems new."

"Well, ten years will put a new shine on things," Spike offered.

"Right, I know, but it's something else. I can honestly say that the first woman I ever loved was Anya. I thought I should feel bad that I didn't love Cordy...I liked her a whole bunch, enjoyed her company and whatever but now, this time around-"

"You think you could?" Spike asked, interrupting.

"I know I could," Xander confirmed, his tone of voice strong and sure.

"Then go for it, mate. Don't let past baggage weigh it down. You just gotta grab it by its balls and go."

"That was poetic, Spike. Really touched my heart." After a moments thought, he continued, "But I hear you. I want to. It's been two, almost three years since Anya...god, time flies, huh?"

"Tell me about it. Buffy and I hit nine years today. Nine fucking years. It's insane," Spike said, shaking his head.

"Can't say I'm surprised. Thought you two would have been married way before now but as the saying goes, all good things-"

"Come to those who wait," Spike finished. "Angel's still all googly-eyed over her."

"Ah, so that's why with the women pow-wow today. Is he still going to be in the wedding?"

"That's the answer that nobody knows. It's too bad. I almost liked the guy. Appreciated what he wanted to do with his life, make up for past mistakes and all that."

"But you don't want him to still be in love with your woman."

"Exactly. Buffy wants this perfect event where nothing can go wrong and so I want her to have that. It's not that I think he's deliberately sabbing us but could he have picked a worse time?"

"Better now than when you're at the alter, right?"

"Infinitely better but it's just making things up in the air right now. Him not showing up today gave me the impression he wasn't going to be a part of it. Now I have to find someone to take his place."

"Have anyone in mind? Gunn?"

"Oz, actually. Buffy has his number, I thought of giving him a call this morning and now, I have even more of a reason."

"Oz'll do it in a heartbeat. As long as he can get someone to cover the store-"

"You knew he was found, too?" Spike asked, surprised.

"Well, yeah, I've talked to him a bunch. Buffy didn't tell you?"

"I need to start paying closer attention at times," Spike muttered.

Xander's face broke out in a goofy grin. "Hey, it'll be like old times. All of us together again...except Will's married to a woman now..."

"What about Oz? Find himself a lady friend?"

"Girl named Beth. Real sweet, apparently. I got the feeling she's very Willow-like but I think that's just Oz's type."

Spike shrugged and nodded his head. "Anya and Cordelia are similar. You have a type...we all have a type."

"Harmony is nothing like Buffy."

"Thank the Lord for that. I would not be here if she were. Three girls have graced me with their presence and not a one of them are alike."

"Then you don't have a type."

"Yeah, I do. Buffy."

"But just Buffy, right?" Xander asked, smiling and Spike nodded, smiling as well. "You know, we are two very sensitive men."

"Shut your gob, Harris! We're very manly and not at all dominated by the women in our lives," Spike argued, weakly. "Oh, hell, I'm a goner. I know it, I accept it."

"Well, that's good," Buffy said, as she entered the room, making a bee-line for Spike and sitting on his lap.

"Were you eavesdropping, pet?" he whispered in her ear.

"About as much as you were," she retorted. Shock took over his features and she giggled. "You are so obvious sometimes, you know?"

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Cordelia interrupted.

"Spike's whipped," Buffy gleefully told her.

"Tell us something we didn't know," Cordy responded.

"Hey!" Spike objected.

"I thought you were accepting," Xander put in.

"You're one to talk, whelp."

"I'm not-"

"Don't even try it, Xander. Or I'll bring up the cheesecake," Cordelia warned.

"Uh..." Xander sputtered, not able to get anything out.

"Cheesecake?" Buffy and Spike asked at the same time, amused expressions on both their faces.

"It's nothing!" Xander yelled, panicked.

"What's the big deal? We saw you buying cheesecake, remember?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah...and that's all there is to that story, so let's go!" Xander jumped off the couch, grabbed Cordy's hand and began to drag her off.

"We want to know the story," Buffy pouted.

"No power on this Earth," Xander said while Cordelia mouthed "I'll tell you later".

"Okay, fine, be that way. I remember when my pout used to work on you, too," Buffy whined. Xander grinned at her and Cordelia rolled her eyes, dragging him down the hall yelling her goodbye.

"How'd it go today?" Spike asked, twirling a strand of Buffy's hair around his index finger.

"Fine for everyone else but I'm cranky."

"What happened?"

"I went to Larry's to buy myself the matching earrings to my beautiful necklace and he sold them! Can you believe that? What's the point of having the necklace without the earrings and vice versa? I'm highly annoyed."

"Could he order you a pair from someplace else?"

"No," she grumbled. "Apparently, he got the set from a woman in Santa Barbara who makes specialized jewelry and she only made the one pair. It's okay, I have Mom's diamond earrings. Something borrowed, I guess."

"You're just going to have to make due," Spike agreed. She looked at him quizzically and shook it off. "What was that look for?"

"I was just seeing if you would crack under my penetrating gaze and tell me you bought the earrings," she told him hopefully.

"Sorry, lamb, didn't do that. Couldn't do that. I wanted to...but I-"

"No need to explain. I definitely would have killed you if you had bought both. So how'd the suits go?"

"Fine...it all went well. I'm going to give Oz a call tomorrow."

"That's good. I'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

"Asking him to usher," Spike said, hesitantly.

"Oh..."

"Back to the 'oh' again?"

"I keep seeming to have to process things you say to me today. You're hurting my brain."

"I can make that up to you," he said before licking and biting her neck. She giggled and made a poor effort of pushing him away. "I can make you forget all sorts of worries. All you need to do is take these clothes off," he popped a button on her blouse, "and I'll take my clothes off," she had already started undoing the buttons on his shirt, "and we'll-" There was a knock on the door interrupting him. "Bugger."

"It's probably Xander or Cordy. Maybe they forgot something. I'll get it," she said, getting up and buttoning her blouse up. "You could always, you know, finish taking those very constricting pants off and getting yourself all ready for all the dirty little things we're about to do."

Spike grabbed her wrist, yanking her back onto his lap, his mouth instantly latching onto hers. The knocking began again and she pulled her head away and smiled weakly and got up. She was surprised she didn't fall flat on her face as he legs felt like jelly. She slowly walked to the hall and she heard Spike smugly ask, "Trouble walking, pet?". She decided her best course of action was to flip him off, which she did and she could hear him laugh as she made her way to the door.

"You know this better be good," she said, laughing, as she opened the door. Her smile quickly faded when she saw Angel standing there, looking as nervous as she suddenly felt. "Uh...hi."

"We need to talk," he said, quickly.

"Yeah, we do." She motioned for him to come in and after she shut the door, she called out to Spike, "Honey, I hope you have your clothes on."

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