Chapter 29

Buffy grabbed the elastic from the counter and swept her hair into a ponytail. Knowing that Dawn would make her help carry everything into her dorm, the last thing she wanted was hair in her face. Plus, the longer she stayed in the bathroom, the longer it was before she saw Spike again. They had talked. It had gone fairly well. She was still having trouble wrapping her brain around some of the things he said but at least they had the ball rolling. She hoped that was the worst part and now they could sit down at dinner and get to the root of his problem. There were more than enough times when he forcibly pulled her out of whatever funk she had been in. Now it was her turn. She was determined to do it right. This was new terrain, however, as Spike had never shown his insecurities so blatantly before. She had always been a firm believer in actions speaking louder than words. Actions weren't needed this time, although the easiest solution for her would be to take him to bed and wrap him in her love.

No, they needed to talk. Words had to be said. She saw the mistakes that Xander had made with Anya and she would not let that happen with her and Spike. She laughed lightly as she applied her lip gloss. She couldn't believe she was the same person she was ten years ago when she met him. She never thought that she would not be scared of love. At eighteen, she had resigned herself to never having the strength to be in love again. Now it was the one thing that made her strong enough to deal with everything life threw at her. Spike had given that to her and she would give it right back.

How did the guy with all the confidence in the world become the scared boy in their bed this morning? She still didn't understand it but she would find out. He never let her slip too far into herself and now was the time to repay that. Maybe that's all that he needs, she thought. If that was the case, she would do everything that was in her power to help him. The day apart would be good for them. They could collect their thoughts and calm down before going any further. Buffy knew it was the best thing to do but it was the last thing she wanted. It was his suggestion, though, and if that's what he needed, then she could do nothing but comply with a smile on her face. There was no need to rush this. He always gave her the time she needed. He always just understood without her ever having to say and now it was her job to do the same. She had no idea how he did it. She had far more patience than he did and the entire situation was wearing her down.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the bathroom door and walked down the hall. Spike was sitting at the table, smoking a cigarette and reading the letter from Andrew, which she had forgotten about completely. She stood behind his chair and rested her chin on top of his head.

"You're reading that again?"

He put his cigarette out and folded the letter. "Did you?"

"No, I forgot about it. I vaguely recall you telling me it was a wedding present, though."

"Go there for lunch. You should talk to him in person." He leaned back until he was resting against her chest. He bent his head back slightly and she leaned forward, placing a light kiss on his lips. "You about to take off?"

"Yup. Shouldn't I know what Andrew and I will talk about before I go there?" She moved away from him and went to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. She leaned against the counter and said, "I don't want to look like an asshole for not having read it yet."

"You look adorable today." Buffy blushed and bent her head down to hide it. He got out of the chair and strode over to her, placing his hands on the counter. He licked his lips and smiled. "Cherry."

"Adorable?"

"Always but today just a little bit extra. I think it's the hair." He gently pulled the ponytail. "Andrew's expanding. Offered to host the reception."

"Offered? As in no payment necessary? Or offered as in you can have it here if you would like but it's going to cost you an arm and a leg?"

"We still pay for the food but the room is free."

"I think I may love Andrew," she replied, her face lighting up. "This solves the second to last detail."

"And the other unsolved detail would be?"

"Where to get married. I'm supposed to tell Tara by tomorrow so she can finish the invite and get it to the printers. She said she would take over the entire situation as her bridesmaid duty and I wasn't about to argue."

"Were we going to talk about where before tomorrow?"

"Yes but other things...came up," she finished quietly. She glanced at the clock and sighed. "I have to get going."

"Me, too," Spike said, removing his hands from the counter. He hated this. She would barely look at him.

"Where are you off to again?"

"Again? I didn't tell you in the first place."

She smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "I thought that would work. I should know better."

"Just have a few errands to run."

"Until tonight?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

He nodded and turned away from her. He grabbed their respective car keys and handed her her set. She took them but let her fingers linger against his. He looked at their hands and wrapped his fingers around hers. She moved towards him and before she was able to do anything, his arms were around her and his lips were on hers. She opened her mouth, slipping her tongue out to trace his lips, tasting the cherry flavor of the lip gloss. He moaned as he turned them around and pushed her against the wall. A squeak of surprise escaped Buffy before she felt his tongue touching hers and all she could do was sigh in contentment. His hands traveled down her body, one hand going to her breast and the other going further, stopping at the top of her jeans. He reached under her shirt, his fingers dancing across her stomach causing her muscles to twitch.

She breathed out his name as his lips went to her neck and his hand went to the button of her jeans. The thought that she should stop him flew through her mind but she dismissed it as quickly as it came. She needed this as much as he did. Just to feel him against her, his mouth trailing across her skin, his hands working their magic on her body...they both needed it and she wasn't about to say anything that would stop him. Her breath caught as she felt his hand worm its way down into her jeans, his thumb brushing against her. She wanted to touch him as well but the way they were situated made it difficult to move her hands any higher than his hips. His hand left her breast and reached down to grab hers, moving it above her head.

"Let me do this," he whispered and she shook her head slightly wondering, not for the first time, how he always seemed to know. It wasn't only because they had been together for so long. No, he had always had the ability to anticipate exactly what she wanted or was about to do. Was she that easily readable or was it simply him? She liked the latter explanation better.

Her whole body shuddered as his finger slid into her. He had always been good at this, too. It's usage had changed over the years since they had started having sex as it so often does in relationships. It reminded her of those times in his old apartment on that ratty couch. The tentative touching that turned more heated the longer they kissed until it wasn't enough and a different kind of touching was needed. She hadn't been used to it. She had, in fact, been a bit embarrassed by the idea of it but once he showed her exactly how good it was, all previous inhibitions about it went right out the window.

She arched into his touch and he brought his lips back to hers. She missed this. As much as she loved the sex, there was something about what he was doing now that made it so much better than that could have. It was a taste of what was to come. It was a reminder of how they once were. She felt connected to him again without actually being physically connected in the traditional sense. His fingers moving in and out of her, the heel of his hand rubbing against her nerves and hearing their combined heavy breathing, pushed her over the edge. Her fingers tightened around his and the other hand dug into his hip as she let it wash over her. She felt like she was flying and his soft pledges of love in her ear kept her up there.

She fell against him, all the strength holding her up exiting her body as she came back down. He brought their arms down to rest at their sides and his mouth nipped at her neck. She wanted to move; wanted to give him something in return but she couldn't. The last thing she wanted to do was leave him and go help Dawn. She chided herself silently for thinking of her sister as the phone rang immediately and she mused that she must have psychic connections to those nearest and dearest to her.

Spike pulled himself away from her warmth and answered the phone. Buffy quickly zipped and buttoned her jeans. She looked at the clock and rolled her eyes. She was late and Dawn didn't like late.

"Hey, Nibblet...No, she's just about to walk out the door...No, I'm not coming...I have something to do and your sister tells me she can't talk about me if I'm there." Buffy felt the urge to give him a one finger salute but kept it to herself. "Yes, I'll send her on her way...I feel fine...Uh-huh...No, but thank you for doing what you did. Okay...Bye." He hung up the phone and turned to her. "She's hyper. Watch yourself."

Buffy laughed and then lunged at him, kissing him as passionately as she could. She broke away and smiled. "I guess we don't have time to-"

"No worries," he interrupted. "Wasn't about that. You know that I can't resist that bloody cherry stuff."

"I'm well aware," she said, with a wink and he laughed. "Are you still not going to tell me what this secretive errand is?"

He watched her bend over and pick up their keys that were thrown to the floor. It took a lot of willpower to not grab a hold of her and say sod Dawn and Angel. They were more important.

"No," he told her, shaking himself out of his fairly pornographic thoughts. She handed him his keys, her fingers not lingering this time and he was beginning to suspect she had it all planned out. Maybe not the way it went down but wearing the lip gloss that she knew drove him crazy and the light touching that would have never been enough, especially after the previous night. She was a smart woman, his Buffy and he loved her all the more for it.

Buffy studied him for a moment before nodding in defeat. She grabbed her water off the counter and he followed her to the door. He grabbed onto her hand and they walked to the parking lot. When they reached their cars, he bent down and kissed her before moving to his. She got in her truck and rolled down the window.

"Hey," she yelled when Spike was already halfway in his car. He stood back up and looked at her, waiting. "Try not to beat each other up, okay?" His eyes widened and she laughed. "Just don't be overly guy-like and try not to egg him on too much. You have a tendency to do that."

She waved and drove off. He could hear her laughing as she went and he shook his head in shock. He reentered his car and sat for a moment. Since he made the phone call, he had this gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. Things had changed already; had changed the night Angel let his feelings for Buffy slip. Buffy had her time to talk with him. Now it was his and he was nervous. A growl escaped him as he shoved the key in the ignition and started the car. He pumped the gas a few times before throwing it into reverse and peeling out of the parking lot.

He hated being nervous.

-------------------------------------

"What did you do, Dawn? Stock pile everything you own and then wash it?"

"I ran out of clothes and don't act like you've never done that. I remember when you used to come home with just as much laundry." Dawn threw the last bag into the back and slammed the hatch down. "We're still eating, right?"

"We're going to Andrew's. Is that okay?" Dawn nodded. They got into the truck and Buffy made her way to the restaurant. "He's going to hold the reception there. He sent a letter to us and granted, I haven't read it yet, but I got the lowdown from Spike."

"Decide where you're getting married yet? I still vote for Mom's."

"It's either Mom's or the park. Since I haven't contacted the park and found out if the 20th is free, I think it will end up being in the backyard. Is that cheesy?"

"No, we'll do it up. Mom really wants to have it there, you know."

"I didn't but thanks for the tip. Oh, did the tickets arrive yet?"

"I knew there was something I forgot to tell you. Mom put them in a special drawer in her desk. I still don't understand why you just didn't have them sent to your apartment. All you had to do was tell Spike you weren't telling him where you were going. He is the one that said to pick the trip."

"Right, Dawn, it's so simple to tell Spike no. It wouldn't happen. He knows all my good hiding places and when he's being really curious, he looks. It's a surprise and I plan on keeping it that way until the night before the wedding. And in case I haven't said, I will kill you if you tell him. Accident or no."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "You've only told me a thousand times, Buffy. Aren't honeymoons supposed to be sunny and fun?"

"Sun may be an issue but there will be plenty of fun to be had. I've never been and I've always wanted to so it's not like I picked it just because of him."

"He's going to flip."

"Yeah?"

"Totally," Dawn told her and flashed her a smile. "He always used to talk about taking you. And that was before you guys got together."

"I sometimes forget the secret society that you had with him back in the day."

"Well, not to bring up past hurts but Mom was sick and you were...distant. He wasn't."

Buffy frowned. "Can I ever apologize enough for my behavior then?"

"It's fine, Buff. Really. It's how you are sometimes. Like after the Warren incident and you shut him and Willow out. We might not understand why but we do understand that you'll do it. It just...it hurts is all."

"I think I've talked and thought more about Warren in the last couple of weeks than I have in the two years since it happened."

"Well, it's coming up. The day. It's only a few weeks away."

"That's right. Along with your birthday."

"Yeah, great way for everyone to remember my birthday," Dawn mumbled and turned to look out the window.

Buffy reached her hand over and patted her arm. "It sucks that they coincide but no one remembers your birthday because Warren went insane right beforehand."

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief when the restaurant came into view. She pulled into the parking lot and was grateful that getting out of the car caused the conversation to end. She didn't know if Dawn wanted to continue it but she certainly didn't. Andrew was at the hostess station and his face lit up when he saw them enter. He gave them both a hug and showed them to a table. He took a seat with them and they made small talk until Andrew couldn't stand it anymore.

"So? Tell me, Buffy," Andrew urged.

She smiled. "What your offering is too kind, Andrew. We can never thank you enough."

"Then it's a go?" he asked, his voice full of excitement. She nodded and he clapped.

"I hope you're not going to all this trouble for us," Buffy said.

"Honestly, you were the catalyst but I fully intend to advertise the new space. I also expect very good word of mouth from a certain couple who will be naturally blown away by their wonderful reception."

"Oh, of course." She winked at him playfully and he blushed. "It's going to be done in time?"

"Absolutely. I plan on closing for a few days when the bulk of it needs to be done only so I don't end up killing half my customers from fumes and dust. Having this space will open up a whole new sort of business here at the restaurant."

"It's a great idea," Dawn threw in. "Maybe when I have my graduation party in the fall, we'll do it here."

"That would be splendid, Dawn," Andrew said, happily. "Fall? I thought you were graduating this June?"

"Well, I was but then I made a minor adjustment to my major and now have to take a few extra courses over the summer."

"We're all very proud of you, little one." He patted her hand and Dawn choked down her laugh. "As stated in the letter, my present is the room and as soon as you tell me what you plan on eating, we can really get things in motion."

"I know, I know. I give you my word that by the end of this week, we will pick a menu. Things have been hectic these last few days but I will force him to sit down," Buffy promised.

"Hectic? Everything okay? Anything you need my help with?"

"Nope, just regular life things. It's all good, but thanks for asking."

"Phew because I had heard that there was a tête-à-tête at Cordelia's last night between the two of you and I, of course, did not believe it. You two never fight and you certainly wouldn't be fighting over something as ridiculous as another man being in love with you still." He waited a beat and added, "Right?"

Buffy looked at him, flustered. "I...where did you hear that from?"

"Oh, you know barflies. Can't ever keep their mouths closed. Tell me it isn't true."

"Everything is fine, truly. Whatever information you have has been blown way out of proportion."

"So he didn't get drunk at Greenie's and spout off about being his own man?" Andrew put his hand to his chest and sighed. "That is the second best news I've heard all day. I wouldn't know what to do if I thought there was trouble in paradise."

"No, no trouble," Buffy told him tightly.

"Hey, Andy, can we have a minute to look over the menu?" Dawn asked.

"Of course. Anything for my two favorite Sunnydale ladies."

As soon as Andrew was out of earshot, Buffy closed her eyes and groaned. "Who was at the bar last night and what's this about Spike yelling about being his own man?"

Dawn sighed, not wanting to tell her about that. "It didn't mean anything. He was drunk and just talking gibberish. Don't looked so freaked."

"I'm not freaked."

"And don't be hurt by it. You know that you're Spike's world and-"

"Yeah, that seems to be the problem," Buffy interrupted. Off Dawn's surprised look, she said, "He told me he didn't need me. Now I hear this new information and I'm a little spun."

"Please don't make this into a thing, Buffy. I was there and I'm telling you it was nothing but drunken babbling."

"I'm sure you're right," she said quietly.

"Turn that frown upside down. It's a stressful time for everyone. Weddings are notorious for causing mayhem," Dawn offered.

"I suppose. I wished he would have told me about these issues-"

"What issues? There are issues?"

"I think he's feeling like he doesn't have a life of his own, which I don't understand. No one told him to not go out and make his own set of friends or to work for Angel. I would have supported anything he needed to do. Doesn't he know that?"

"Of course he knows that. I sometimes wonder about the two of you." She shook her head. "For as much as you two know each other inside and out, there are always parts you're not going to get. Didn't you and Spike just tell me the other week that life wasn't meant to be in a tidy package? Well, there you go. You're not meant to understand everything about him and vice versa."

"But this has to do with me, Dawn. If he's having problems with us, I'm the one who should understand it."

"I'm sure even he doesn't understand it, Buffy. Look, you mean everything to him. Nothing will ever change that, you know? But he's getting older, probably looking at his life and thinking that if anything were to happen to you, he'd be wrecked."

"That's almost exactly what he said."

"It doesn't take a genius. Do you think it doesn't bother him when he can't figure you out? Whether it be why you wouldn't get married before now or why you sometimes act the way you do. He doesn't understand you entirely but he knows he doesn't need to. He's sure of what he does know and the parts he doesn't, he figures that's the way it's supposed to be."

"I'm starting to think you've talked about this."

Dawn shrugged. "When you were shot, I have never seen anyone so wrought with guilt. He blamed himself for leaving that night, he blamed himself for not being there that day and he continued to blame himself when you were so highly bitchy to everyone. He was so grateful that you weren't seriously hurt like Tara but then he'd feel awful for thinking like that. That night we waited to hear, he didn't cry, didn't talk...he just sat in the chair with his hands folded and his head bowed. I can only imagine what was going through his head but I can tell you that when we finally did talk, the one resounding theme was how much he needed you, how he wouldn't know what to do if you had died. Believe me, it wasn't because he had nothing else in his life, Buffy. It was the simple fact that you sustain him and he needs you by his side. Ask anyone, they'll tell you the same thing."

"That's the problem, though!"

"No, you're seeing it wrong, Buffy. If you were the only thing he had, he'd be perfectly happy for the rest of his life. But he's also human and in that, he's beginning to feel that he should have other things besides you. He doesn't need them but he thinks he should." Buffy shook her head and furrowed her brow. "Don't look so perplexed. You're not going to understand it."

"So why do you?"

"I'm not in love with him," Dawn said, simply. "Believe me, I don't entirely get why but I get a lot of it. Let me try and explain it from my point of view. I have Mom-"

"And me."

"No, see, you moved out a long time ago. You and Spike are a unit now so it's not just you. So like I was saying, I have Mom. Dad's wherever he is and I don't particularly care to see him ever again at this point in my life. If something were to happen to Mom, I'd be so lost. Alone. And it's not that I don't know that I have other people in my life that love and need me. I know it but Mom, she's my constant, you know?" She shrugged. "Maybe that's how Spike's feeling. As much as he knows that I or any of us would do anything in the world for him, we're not you. I can't give him what you do just like no one else could ever give me what Mom is able to."

"But I have Mom, too. I'd be just as lost without her."

"Yes, you would but not like me. Again, you have Spike. Mom's everything that I have. I don't really like most of my friends, I hang out with my older sister and her fiancé and their friends, I go back and forth with Connor...If it weren't for Mom, I'd be completely alone, whether or not I was surrounded by people. I don't know...maybe that's how he feels, too."

Buffy didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. If Dawn was right, and she had the sneaking suspicion that she was, then there wasn't anything to worry about. Dawn's words gave her hope that it wasn't about them or her, per se, but him. They told her that what Spike was feeling only had to do with him and had nothing to do with how he viewed their relationship or what he wanted. He was happy but he needed additional security. She understood that...as long as Dawn's theory was correct.

---------------------

"Well, look at what the cat dragged in."

"Good to see you, too, Grama," Spike said, a wicked smirk on his lips.

Darla rolled her eyes and huffed. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that, William?"

"Not my fault you're old."

"I'm not old! Word of advice? Don't piss off the pregnant lady."

Spike chuckled. "If I didn't say it every time I saw you, you would miss it. You know you would."

She sighed her annoyance but a tiny smile appeared. "Angel's downstairs. I was going to the store but do I need to stay here and moderate?"

"No, it's fine. You're going to the store by yourself?"

"I'm pregnant, Spike, not cripple." She noticed the way he was fidgeting, moving from one foot to the other, and her curiosity was piqued. "So are you here for business or personal reasons?"

The question was asked casually enough but Spike's job was to pick up on the little things. And he was quite good as his job. Maybe it was the pregnancy that made her appear so vulnerable to him but there was no denying it was there. He suddenly felt a sort of kinship with her. Although he knew Buffy didn't love Angel; he and Darla knew that Angel loved Buffy. Spike knew that Darla was well aware of this fact. He saw it in her eyes; heard it in the way she asked the question.

"A little of both," he answered finally. It wasn't a lie and he'd be damned if he would be the one to confirm any of her suspicions.

"Uh-huh," she replied and Spike wasn't sure if that was good or bad. "I'm leaving. I'm so hungry, you're starting to look good." And with that, she was out the door.

Spike made his way downstairs, doing the calm breathing technique Buffy had shown him that time she tried to get him into yoga. He smiled at the memory but it quickly disappeared as he hit the floor. Taking one last deep breath, he walked into the apartment. Angel was sitting at his desk, reading. He grabbed a chair from the kitchen and brought it over to the desk and straddled it. He rested his arms on the back of the chair and waited.

"One minute," Angel said, without looking up. "Remember the Bison case?"

"The little girl who everyone thought could heal people?"

"That's the one."

"If I remember correctly, all she was healing were her parent's pockets."

"Yeah, well, apparently, some people finally wised up and there's a lawsuit. They want me to testify."

"Guess the Willard's didn't take to heart the gag clause in their contract."

"Guess not. The whole point of being a private detective is to be private. People now-a-days." Angel tossed the paper to the side and leaned back in his chair. He folded his hands onto each other and swiveled around to face Spike. "No weapons. You?"

"Clean," he said, smirking. "I'm not here for that. Don't get me wrong, nothing would make me happier than to beat the ever living shit out of you but Buffy asked me not to."

"So you told her?"

"No, she just knew."

"That's Buffy," Angel mumbled. "She probably doesn't want you to have any visible bruises for the wedding."

"Like you'd even get a shot in." Angel quirked an eyebrow and flexed a little. "You're bulky but I'm spry."

"I'll let you have your delusions."

"That's not what I'm looking for you to let me have." He leaned back and gripped the wood of the chair. "You fucked me, Angel. You had to have known that little comment would cause an uproar."

"You didn't have to tell her."

"No, I didn't have to but I couldn't sit on something that large. It'd eat me up until I imploded."

"Nothing's changed, Spike."

"Exactly what she said and here's what I told her. Everything's changed." He pushed himself off the chair and began to pace. "I work for you."

"With me."

Spike stopped and looked at him before he shook his head and resumed pacing. "Whatever. I work here. I've worked here for seven years and I feel like I've been made a fool of."

"Never. You're the best I have-"

"Not in relation to my job, you git. Look, we've never been what you would call friends and it's always been sort of fine with me."

"Me, too," Angel said with a smile.

"Yeah," Spike snorted out. "Despite that, I would think that a person would tell another if they were still moping over their ex who happened to be dating said other."

"You couldn't have just said 'you should have told me how you felt'?"

"Shut your gob. Not wanting sentence structure lessons at the present." He sat back down and pointed at Angel. "I haven't figured it yet. I don't know if it's your date with fatherhood quickly approaching or if you were trying to sab our wedding. I can't help but think that after all this time, it's a bit convenient that your love confession comes through now."

"I don't know how many times I can say it slipped out but that's the truth of it. Maybe some of what you're saying isn't so far-fetched-"

"Is that right?" Spike interrupted, his voice dropping and dripping with venom.

"I don't want to sound all poor me but I've been under considerable amount of stress in the last couple of months. Believe me, I didn't want to add to it so it was a mistake. On that same note, I'm not particularly upset that it's out in the open."

Spike didn't know what to say to that so, for once, he said nothing.

"I'm hoping that maybe now I can let go of it-"

"And the best way to do that would to actually watch her marry me, don't you think?"

"I can't."

"Then you're not planning on letting go anytime soon." Spike ran his hand over his head and sighed. "No one can force you to not feel what you do for Buffy. I don't like it but I can live with it just as I lived with what went on with you before I came into her life. That was a hard deal, mate. Hearing those stories, the pain in her voice...trying to break down the walls she built because of you. But I've earned it. Earned her love, tried to be everything you weren't. It worked out well for me." Angel opened his mouth to say something but Spike shook his head. "I can deal with a lot. I might have been able to deal with your feelings for her." He paused. "If you had told me many moons ago. Unfortunately, you didn't and I can only be led to believe that you have no respect for me, Buffy or the relationship that we have."

"Not true."

"That's great, then. Everything's all better," he bit out, sarcastically.

"Look, Spike, I'm not sure what you want me to say here. I've apologized and there's not much else I can say after that. I was not, and I cannot stress this enough, trying to break the two of you up. Maybe I should have said something before but I thought it wouldn't be a good idea. We work well together, I've enjoyed knowing you and yes, having Buffy back in my life was not a bad thing." It was Angel's turn to stand and pace. "I probably could have done a hundred things differently but the fact is, I didn't. I'm the one losing out here."

"Boo-hoo for you, Peaches. Sorry if my heart isn't bleeding for you."

"Damn it, Spike, I'm not looking for sympathy. My friendship with Buffy is over now. I know that. I knew it the minute I left your apartment. On top of that, I'm starting to have the sinking feeling that my best worker is quitting."

Spike's eyes went wide before his mouth slid into a sly grin. "Not quitting but I have a proposition." Angel nodded for him to continue. "You've been going on for years about how you wanted to open another office. Get more work than just L.A. and it got me to thinking, especially after all this."

"Have you done the research?"

"Yeah, there's a few nice looking spaces. I know Connor's been learning the ropes and he might be more inclined to do something if it's offered. Right now, he's picking up secondary cases or filing paper work. No one wants to do that. He's spending a lot of time in Sunnydale-"

"Getting arrested, too, if I heard correctly."

"Apparently, a misunderstanding. Believe you me, if it weren't, your brother would be pretty shades of black and blue."

"How do you want to work it?"

"We can go in, 50/50 but I run it. All decisions made by me, unless you're opinion is needed. I get a raise, obviously, and we put Connor on the payroll. Scamp needs direction, Angel. I'll still help out here when you need me but you have Gunn and Wes full-time, Fred and Faith integrating themselves into the fold and Gwen helps when she's not doing her own thing. You've gone from just you to an actual staff. I want that." He thought for a moment and quietly added, "I need that."

Spike wasn't looking at him and Angel studied him for a moment before nodding to himself and sitting again. "I want to see the spaces you've looked into. We can figure rent, your much deserved raise and I think I should talk to Connor. You have a tendency-"

"To egg people on?" Spike asked, an amused smile on his face.

"Heard that before?"

"This morning, actually."

"Ah..." Angel trailed off. "In any event, you're right. I have been meaning to expand. Not to sound like a kiss ass, but you were the only person here that I would consider for taking the name of the agency elsewhere."

"I have to use your name?" Angel only looked at him, the amused but put-off look on his face. Spike shrugged. "Worth a shot."

"Nice try." There was a moment of silence when they both contemplated what had been said. "For the record, I am sorry."

Spike nodded. "I know you are. Doesn't make it any easier, though. We've all been knocked on our asses by your mistake. It'll take some time to mend the bridge."

"I intend on trying my hardest."

"Yeah? Then come to the wedding. Don't be in the wedding, but at least come. For the friendship you have with her. For the strange acquaintance that we have."

"It'll be too awkward," Angel tried to explain.

"It's only awkward if you make it that way. Besides, I doubt that we're going to be thinking about you're feelings for her on our wedding day."

"She still wants me to go?"

"We both want you to go," Spike corrected. "Look, you're a right prick sometimes and I could throttle you for still loving my girl but you've been a part of our lives-"

"You son of fucking bitch!"

Spike and Angel turned to see a seething Darla standing in the doorway. Spike slowly turned to look at Angel, eyebrows raised in surprise and just a little bit of amusement. Angel didn't say anything, kept that stoic expression on his face that pissed Spike off endlessly. He couldn't get a read on him with his face set like that and if it bothered him, he knew it bothered Darla.

"Darla," Angel began.

"Screw you, Angel. I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have come back here. I knew I should have rid myself of this," she pointed at her belly. "You'll never love it. Never care enough for the two of us. Normally, I wouldn't give a shit but now I have something else besides myself to worry about."

"Don't get too upset. It's not good for you or the baby," Angel told her.

"Like you give a damn," Darla snickered. "You're still in love with her? All these years and you still..." She wiped away a single tear and groaned. "Fucking kid makes me weepy."

"Darla, can we talk about this after Spike leaves?"

"I'm leaving. I have to head back. Got a date with my lady," Spike jumped in, glad to Angel for the lead in.

"Oh, so you're still getting married? Angel didn't destroy that? That's...nice. Good for you, Spike."

"I wasn't trying to destroy anything," Angel tried to explain and Darla rolled her eyes.

"I'll get in touch with you about the office spaces," Spike said quickly. "And think about the wedding."

"Will do," Angel nodded and held out his hand. Spike looked at it for a moment and puffed up a bit before he quickly put his hand in Angel's and gave it quick shake.

He stopped in front of Darla and rested a hand on her arm. He leaned over and whispered, "Give him hell."

"It's the thing I'm best at," she replied and he saw the coldness in her eyes begin to thaw just a bit. His hands went to touch her stomach when she grabbed it. "Please don't touch me. I feel like a fucking animal at the zoo with all the people who have touched me."

A small chuckle escaped Spike and he nodded to them both before he took off up the stairs. He'd love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation. He hoped Darla stuck to his word and did, indeed, give him hell. He knew he went easy on Angel but on the drive over he thought about how it had really disrupted his world. When he looked at it closely, it really hadn't. The best thing it did was awaken that need in him to do more with his life. He had thought about it for over a year now and he wasn't sure if it was because of what happened that made Angel so easily agreeable but he didn't care. He'd have something of his own, for the most part, and that was far more important than the why. Hopefully, now that he had something tangible, something besides Buffy, he might be able to better explain his feelings to her. He took the high road with Angel to get what he wanted. Not only his own section of the agency but his actions guaranteed that he wouldn't have to deal with Buffy doing her best Darla routine when he got home. He smiled as he got in the car. He didn't think today would be a good day at all. With the exception of the morning, the day had turned out pretty damn good. His smile widened as the image of Buffy pressed against the kitchen wall, riding his fingers flashed through his mind. The car squealed out of the space as he raced home to make it into an even better night.