Title: Christmas Without You (2/4)
By: adoreleo
Pairing: Leo/Margaret
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: The characters are from the NBC, WB, TV show The West Wing; they do
not belong to me. Feedback: I would love it hear your opinion!
Summary: Its Christmas time at the White House and once again something is not
right.
Christmas Without You
December 23, 2003
White House: 7:00 am
Last night had brought snow to the District so the streets and sites of Washington were encased with a delicate white blanket. Leo stares out the window of his car as his driver makes his way to the White House. He can't help but notice how peaceful and illusory DC looks this morning. The monuments are always so picturesque, when jacketed with snow. He is sure that Margaret will go on and on about what a beautiful morning it is outside. His heart starts to beat a little faster at his last thought. He can't wait to get to work and hear what she has to say about the snow.
Leo enters his office to find it dark and his office door is still locked. His first thought is that Margaret has probably been delayed due to the snow. He unlocks his door and hangs up his camel colored overcoat on his coat tree and walks over to his computer. It is still on from last night. He must have forgotten to shut it down last night. Margaret always does that for him he thought. She should be here any minute now. She's going to notice that he was here late last night. Nothing ever gets by her.
Leo sits down at his desk and starts to straight up the mess he made yesterday. There's a knock at his door and Donna walks into his office.
"Good Morning Leo."
"Hey Donna, if you're looking for Margaret she must be running late from all the snow we got last night. I'm sure she'll be in here any minute now." Leo's voice can't mask the trepidation that he feels.
"Um. Leo, that's why I'm here. I just got off the phone with her and . she won't be coming in again today." Donna turns to leave; she isn't in any mood to play twenty questions with Leo.
"Donna, did she say what was wrong?"
Donna turned back to face Leo. "No, it was sort of a strange call, but then again you know Margaret." Donna bit her bottom lip; thinking that maybe she should just keep her opinions to herself.
"What do you mean strange?" The feeling in his stomach intensified.
"Well. she sounded more upset, than sick. Oh, and I almost forgot, she said to tell you 'she was sorry.' " Donna refused to look Leo in the eye when she told him this. She doesn't want Leo to know that she is worried that something else is going on. Margaret has not been her cheery self lately and Donna has tried to find out what was going on, but Margaret has been very closed mouthed. She had even caught Margaret crying at her desk one day last week, after Leo had gone to the Sit Room.
"Donna, do you know what's going on with Margaret?"
"No." Donna says trying not to show any worry in her face.
"Yeah?" Leo couldn't help but think that she is holding something back from him. "I'll need a temp again today."
"I've already called and got you a temp. Ms. Whitcome is the only one available." Donna literally spit her name out. She and the other senior staff assistants found Ms. Whitcome very unfriendly. They all had stopped by yesterday to see if she needed any help and each one of them were told that she was quite competent and she could handle the job. Ginger had told Donna that Ms. Whitcome had made comments about Margaret's filing system and her lack of ability to teach Leo how to use the intercom.
"Donna, are you ok?" Leo asked.
"Yes, why do you ask?" Donna said without changing expressions.
"Well, you just seemed like you were lost in thought and you were making a, I don't know, sort of a pissed off look on your face."
"Sorry, my mind drifts sometimes, ah . I need to get back or Josh will come looking for me. I swear that man can't go five minutes without me in the office with him."
Leo watches Donna leave his office and can't help but agree with Donna's last statement and the feeling in his stomach tells him that the same is true for him when it comes to Margaret. He decides it time to call her. He searches his top desk drawer for Margaret's home phone number. He can't shake the feeling that he should have called her yesterday. He finds her number and dials it. The phone rings four times and then the machine picks up. 'Hi you've reached Margaret McGuire. I'm probably at work right now, so please try there, if you have the number. But, if you are one of those annoying telemarketing people, please stop calling me!' Leo couldn't help but grin at her message. But when he hears the tone, he panics; he's not sure what to say, after a couple of seconds of silence. He hangs up the phone. "Damnit!"
Margaret's apartment: 7:00 am
It's been almost a half hour since Margaret called and talked to Donna. She had almost lost it on the phone with her. Donna had been full of questions and Margaret is sure that she suspects something is really wrong and that she is not really sick.
Margaret can't help but feel guilty about lying to Donna, but worst than that, is her guilt from being dishonest with Leo. That is something she has never done before. She is use to deceiving herself. She has been doing that for years. But, now it is time for that to stop.
Margaret walks over to her couch and grabs her laptop off the coffee table. She has to complete this step of her plan. She sits down on the couch and tries once again to write her letter of resignation.
White House: 9:00 am
Ms. Whitcome walks into Leo's office. "Mr. McGarry, I've been buzzing you on the intercom, didn't you hear it?"
"I'm sorry Jane . um . I mean Ms. Whitcome, so that was what that annoying noise was."
"Mr. McGarry, does Margaret even use the intercom? It's so much more efficient than running in and out of here all the time and if you would use it you wouldn't have to shout all the time."
Leo stands up from behind his desk. "It's how Margaret and I have worked for years." His voice is starting to show a hint of anger.
"Well, with all due respect Sir, I think its highly improper for someone in your high level position to be yelling for his assistant."
"Well, I think that since you are just a ." Leo stops mid sentence. There's no reason to make things worst. "Ms. Whitcome, Margaret and I both prefer a more personal working relationship. It's just what works best for us." Leo drops his shoulders and sits back down on his chair. "Now, is there something you need?"
"Yes, I came in to tell you that senior staff starts in ." She looks down at her watch. "Five minutes ago in the Oval Office, Sir."
"Well why didn't you tell me five minutes ago!" Leo is losing his patience.
"Sir, if you would answer your intercom, you wouldn't be running late."
"Yeah, well . Thanks." Leo gets up and grabs a folder and walks through the connecting doors and into the Oval Office.
"There you are." Says the President, who is sitting in his normal chair surrounded by the rest of the senior staff. "I was about to send out a search and rescue team for you, or at the very least Charlie."
"Very funny, Sir." Leo walks over to the chair directly across from the President and sits down.
The meeting goes on for about an hour. Leo is having a hard time concentrating on what is being discussed. He can't seem to stop worrying about Margaret. 'As soon as this meeting from hell is over with, I'm going to call Margaret.' He thinks to himself.
"Leo . LEO." The President is looking right at Leo.
"Um . Yes Sir." Leo has that deer in the headlight look.
"Isn't this where you normally say, what else?"
"Sorry, I . um . if that's all . I need to make a phone call." Leo gets up and hurriedly walks back to his office.
The President is left sitting there with his mouth open. The rest of the senior staff stand up and say 'thank you Sir' and leave as quickly as they can. The President gets up and walks to his desk. He wonders what in the world is going on with Leo. He makes a mental note to remember to talk to him later today.
Margaret's apartment: 9:00 am
Margaret's phone just rang for the third time this morning. She can't believe how many phone calls she gets during the day. This is the first time she has been home during the week for two days in row, in ages. She has once again given up on what is turning out to be, the resignation letter from hell and turns on the TV.
Margaret flips through the channels looking for something to watch. She stops on Jerry Springer. The subject for today's show is shown on the bottom of the screen. 'Secretaries Who Fall in Love With Their Bosses'. Margaret can't help but smirk. "Yeah, well here's a show for me." After about two minutes Margaret turns off the TV in disgust. "Oh my god, am I as pathetic as those losers on that show?"
Margaret gets up off the couch and goes to the hallway outside her apartment and picks up her newspaper. She walks into the kitchen. Pours herself a cup of coffee and sits down at the table. She opens the paper up and right there on the front page is a color picture of the President and Leo at some event yesterday. Leo had on his double-breasted gray pin stripe suit with his power lavender tie and matching handkerchief in his breast pocket. "He really looks sexy, and man, he sure can wear a suit!." Margaret says out loud.
After staring at the picture for a couple of minutes, she turns the paper to the Job Opportunities section. She needs to start looking for another job.
White House: 10:30 am
Leo is sitting at his desk, Toby is in his office going on about something, but he can't remember what. Finally, Leo holds his hand up to him. "Toby, I need to make a phone call, can we finish this later?"
"Yeah." Toby grumbles back at him and walks out of Leo's office into Margaret's outer office.
Leo dials and hears the same familiar message that he has already heard several times this morning. This time he leaves a message.
Josh is standing in front of Margaret's desk, waiting for his turn with Leo.
"He needs to make a phone call, I'd wait a minute or two." Toby says to Josh.
"Ok, no problem."
"Good luck trying to keep his attention. What is going on with him these past couple of days?" Toby looks at Ms. Whitcome and then leaves.
"Ms. Whitcome, this is when Margaret usually tells me a joke." Josh says.
"I'm sorry Mr. Lyman. I don't know any. Jokes are a waste of time and not proper for the work place, especially the White House. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take this file to the copy center." Ms. Whitcome grabs a folder and walks out.
Leo hangs up quickly and mutters "Damnit!" He doesn't know what is wrong with him. He's been reduced to a babbling idiot who can't leave a decent and coherent phone message and if the feeling in his stomach got any worst, he was going to . Well, he would think of something!
Josh is about to leave when he hears Leo slam his phone down and mutter "Damnit!"
Josh knocks on Leo's door end enters the room. "Leo, I needed to speak to you about ."
Leo stops him before he can go any further. "Josh, not now ... I . I have a meeting with Senator Baines, that I need to get ready for. So, if you'll excuse me." Leo looks down at his phone and then back up at Josh.
"Leo, is everything ok?"
"Yeah . Yeah."
"Ok, um . I'll come back in a couple of hours, do you want me to get on your schedule with Ms. Whitcome?" Josh smirked as he said Ms. Whitcome.
Leo looks up at him. "Yeah, get with Ms. Whitcome." Leo mimicked.
Margaret's apartment: 10:30 am
Margaret is now cleaning the bathroom. If she keeps this up her apartment will be spotless. She keeps postponing writing the one thing that she hopes will help to set her free.
Her phone rings again. She has been ignoring the phone all morning. This time though, the person leaves a message:
"Um.. Hi. It's Leo. I'm just checking to see how you are feeling? I . um .. Sorry to bother you .Would you . Bye."
After Leo hangs up, Margaret falls to the floor and pulls her knees to her chest and rocks back and forth as her tears return. Hearing his voice has sent shivers up her spine. How was she ever going to leave her feelings for him behind? How was she ever going to be happy without the one she loves? If only he felt the same way.
White House: 3:00 pm
Leo enters the White House and swiftly heads for his office. His meeting with Senator Baines did not go well. It ended with Leo shouting at him and then him abruptly leaving. He walks by Margaret's desk and looks for messages. He grabs the stack and goes into his office and slams the door. He is in no mood for anyone to stop by right now.
Leo walks behind his desk, sits down and starts to go through his messages. The one he was hoping to find was not there. Why hasn't Margaret called him back? The feeling in his stomach just got worst. Is Margaret so sick that she can't make it to the phone? Donna spoke to her this morning, maybe she knows more than she was telling or maybe Margaret called and talked to Donna again. There is only one way to find out.
Leos heads out of his office and off to the bullpen. Donna is not at her desk, so he decides to go in and tell Josh to send Donna over when she gets back. He stops abruptly when he hears Josh in his office talking to someone about Margaret. The other person speaks up and it's CJ.
"So, this is the second day she has called in sick," CJ asks Josh.
"Yeah, and Leo has the that no-nonsense temp again. She is so straight laced and stuffy. I asked her if she knew a joke and she went off on me."
"Leo must be enjoying someone who just wants to work and not spend time telling egg jokes."
"Yeah, hey she's short, older, very professional and kind of grumpy. They probably are the perfect match."
When Leo hears this comment, he decides it's time to head back to his office. He thinks about what Josh has just said. He and Ms. Whitcome? I think not. His mood is even more foul now, than it was before.
"Josh, how could you say that? I wouldn't wish her on anyone. And besides, I've always thought that Leo has a soft spot for Margaret." CJ has a wishful look on her face when thinking about Leo and Margaret.
"CEEJ, Leo and Margaret, that's not an image I want."
"Oh Josh, grow up!"
"OK ., but I just never thought about it. I mean . Margaret has always been there and well, its sort of like thinking about your parents, ya know!"
"Josh, I suspect that Leo isn't even aware of how he feels. but Margaret probably is and I don't know. but something has been different with her lately. She's not been her cheery self lately and now she's called in sick two days in a row."
"CJ, I'd love to stand here and talk about this, but I need to keep my appointment with Leo."
Josh finds Leo in his office sitting on his couch. "Hey Leo, are you ready to talk about 932?"
"Josh, why would think I would want to talk about that? I mean I'm here in my office, its time for our meeting and I've got the briefing book here on it?" Leo said very sarcastically.
Josh goes over to the chair next to the couch and sits down. "Ok, well the thing about this is."
Josh goes on for a while and Leo comments occasionally, but his heart is not in his work today. He wonders if this day will ever end.
Margaret's apartment: 3:00 pm
Margaret has been rearranging her furniture in her living room for the past hour. She really needs to stop and eat something. She hasn't had anything but coffee today. She goes to the kitchen and fixes herself a sandwich. She sits down and starts to eat it. She feels guilty about eating. She's sure that Leo probably hasn't eaten anything today. That man won't take the time to eat or sleep if he has his way and he won't stop for anything unless Margaret gets her way.
How many times since they got to the White House has she had to stand over top of that man to get him to slow down and eat something? And when he did stop on his own and get something to eat it was never a healthy item. She remembers the time that he was heading to the sit room and she was on him about health and fitness, he about had a cow when she asked him what he had for breakfast. He said he had half a grapefruit, but she knew he was lying. She could always see right through him.
Who is going to make sure he takes care of himself now? Who will rein him in when his temper flares? Will his next assistant stay until he leaves work? Will they drive him crazy with mindless trivia and jokes? Will the next one know how he likes his coffee? Will she also fall in love him too?
White House: 6:00 pm
Leo is sitting behind his desk and is going through his personal drawer when Ms. Whitcome comes into his office.
"Mr. McGarry, do you need anything before I leave for the night?"
"No, I'm fine. Thank you." He quickly shuts the drawer.
"Ok, well maybe I'll see you tomorrow."
"Ms. Whitcome, um . nothing. that's all, thanks."
"Ok" She gives him a puzzled look and leaves.
Leo was about to ask her what her plans were for Christmas, but he's sure that she would find that unprofessional. He misses his banter with Margaret. He misses her nagging him about eating right or enough, not sleeping enough and her new thing lately has been to get him to stop slouching in his chair.
Leo slides open his personal drawer and pulls out the file that has been dubbed The Margaret Museum. He starts to look through the notes from Margaret that he has saved from her over the years. They all are very neatly folded and carefully stored in the folder. He opens the one on top and can't help but smile at its memory.
Early this year, Margaret had really been on a healthy food kick. She had followed him to the sit room going over the President's schedule and when they got to item about the Health and Fitness Council, she went off on what he had had for breakfast. He lied of course and said he had half a grapefruit. When he got in the sit room he asked someone to get him a grapefruit. The meeting had been going on for about 15 minutes when his grapefruit showed up, but it didn't come alone. There was a note on the tray. Leo immediately recognized the paper and the fold. He opened the note and read:
Leo,
Why do you think you can get by with lying to me? Now, eat your damn grapefruit!
Margaret
Leo huffed to himself about the note. Fitz had asked 'was a note from his girlfriend.' And Leo sarcastically smirked, 'no it's from your wife.' Then the meeting continued on as usual. Leo had found out later that she had been in the mess when his request had come into the kitchen. The kitchen staff being well aware of Margaret recent health kick informed her, hence the note.
Leo's favorite note was not in the folder. He kept that one in his wallet. It was just too special. Leo had been in a very, stressful daylong meeting with a bunch of diplomats concerning an up coming visit and State Dinner. He was about ready to kill someone over their outrageous demands. Margaret came to into the room just as Leo was about to unload on them; her timing as usual was perfect. Leo sat there and read the note and then he reread it. Margaret had recently been trying to learn to speak Italian through a correspondence course, so she had written the note in Italian.
Leo,
potrei avere il bibbunino, per favore?"
Margaret
Translated it meant: Could I have your baby, please? Leo started to laugh out loud. The diplomats just started at him. After a few seconds, Leo composed himself and went on with the meeting.
Leo was inanely grinning from that memory. Margaret had meant to write: Could I have the check, please? She had been spouting that phrase the whole day before. He had never told her about her mistake, she would have probably died from embarrassment. But the note had done the job that it was suppose to and it was his favorite Margaret note.
Just as Leo is putting away the folder, the President comes strolling into his office.
"Leo, just what the heck is your problem today?"
Leo jumps up as usual. "What do you mean Sir?"
"Well, you haven't exactly been little Miss Mary Sunshine today, from the reports I have heard." Jed walks over to Leo couch and sits down. He motions for Leo to come join him.
"Sir, I've had a busy day and I still have a lot of reading left to do before I can go home tonight."
"LEO, what did I say about working normal hours this and next week?" Jed says in a voice that conveys that he is losing his patience with Leo.
"Yes Sir, but the government just doesn't stop because its Christmas. And since Margaret .." Leo stops suddenly and doesn't know what else to say.
"Leo are you ok?" Jed leans towards him and places a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm fine Sir."
"You know, I can tell when you are lying. Leo, you haven't been yourself these past couple of days. Does it have something to do with Margaret? Is she ok?" Jed knew that if Margaret was sick enough to miss two days in a row, that it must be serious. He wasn't sure that Leo could handle it if something was seriously wrong with Margaret. He also suspected that Leo felt more for his assistant, than he was willing to admit to.
"Sir, I .. don't know how she is. I've been calling all day and she doesn't answer. I even left a message, but she didn't return it." Leo face shows deep concern.
"Leo, that's not like our Margaret. She would return your call from her death bed."
At this last statement Leo has visually jumped. He seems on the verge of panic.
"Leo, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply." Jed just left his statement hang. He didn't know what to say to Leo.
"Sir, I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason why Margaret hasn't returned my call." Leo says trying to compose himself and drive those thoughts from his head that he too has been thinking.
"Leo, why don't you go home and try and get some rest." I'm sure Margaret will be back at work tomorrow and she will be tormenting you about your foul humor these past two days. Because you know someone will tell on you and if someone else doesn't, I'll rat you out!"
Leo tried to come up with a grin, but he failed miserably. "I'll try. See you tomorrow Sir" He gets up off the couch and walks over to his coat tree, grabs his overcoat and briefcase and is out the door.
The President sat there for a while, wondering how he could help Leo. It was so obvious to him now, that Leo was in love with Margaret. Tonight's conversation and his reactions had proven that much. He slowly gets up and walks into his office to finish up a few things before he heads to the Residence and to Abbey. When he reaches his office, he remembers to call the operator and close down the Chief of Staff's office for the night.
Margaret's apartment: 6:00 pm
Margaret is sitting on her couch. She just finished her letter o resignation. It is shorter than she would like, but what could she write? She couldn't very well tell him the real reason she is leaving. But it contains all the necessary information and it is finally done. She'll have it couriered over to the office tomorrow. It is too late tonight to have someone come pick it up, even though she has no doubt in her mind that Leo is still at the office and able to receive it.
She wonders how his day went today. His message he left sounded strange and strained. Maybe she should return his call and check up on him. She picks up the phone and dials his private line. The White House operator picks up and informs her that the Chief of Staff's office is closed for the evening.
Margaret is shocked that Leo has shutdown the office already tonight. Was he sick? What was going on? She couldn't remember the last time Leo went home this early. She knew it couldn't be Christmas, because it never made to leave early before. And Lord knows how many times Margaret has wanted him to leave early during the holidays. Should she call him at his hotel and check on him? NO!! This has to stop! She thought to herself. And then the next second she thinks maybe she should call Mallory. But then Mallory will call her dad. She didn't want Leo calling her again today. Her mind is still racing as she heads to her bedroom to find something to get her mind off of him.
She picks up her knitting and starts to work on the scarf she has been knitting. She's been knitting for about a half an hour, before she realizes that the scarf she is working on was suppose to be Leo's Christmas present. It would match his camel colored overcoat perfectly. She stops knitting and starts to cry again. She thinks to herself that eventually, she has to run out of tears.
The Residence: 8:00 pm
Jed walks into the Residence and goes searching for Abbey. He finds her in the kitchen doing some last minute baking.
"What ya doing?"
Abbey jumps having not realized that Jed has walked into the room. "Jethro, stop scaring me"
"Sorry, are you baking?"
"Yes, what's it to you"
"I just can't remember the last time you baked something."
"Shut up."
"Ok, lets just remember who your Commander and Chief is."
"Ok, lets just remember that I can make your life a living hell."
"Ah, . ok point taken." Jed walks over to Abbey and puts his arms around her and pulls her in for a hug.
"Why are you baking?"
"I overheard Zoey say something to Charlie today about cookies I used to bake at Christmas when she was little and I just thought it would be a nice surprise this year."
"Sounds good" He is still hanging on tightly to her.
"Jed, is everything ok?"
"Yeah, well .. I mean I'm not sure. I just sent Leo home tonight at six o'clock and he didn't even fight me over it."
"Is he sick? Why didn't you call me? Did he catch what Margaret's got? I heard she's missed two days in a row. She must have that nasty flu that is going around."
"He's not sick." Jed pulls away from the hug and walks over to the kitchen table and sits down.
"Jed, what's going on? Is he ok? Did something happen?"
"He's been a bear these past two days. Snapping at everyone, he even walked out of a meeting on the hill today. He's .. I don't know. I think he worried about Margaret."
"Just how sick is she?"
"That's just it, no one knows. I heard rumors that she seemed more upset than sick when she talked to Donna. Leo tried to call her several times today and she never answered her phone. She didn't even return the message he left."
Abbey has moves over to the table and sits down next to Jed. "Jed what else aren't you telling me"
"Abbey, you're going to think I'm crazy, but I think he's in love with her."
"Well Jethro, it took you long enough to figure that one out. I've suspected that for quite a while now. I think he's been in love with her for the past couple of years."
"Well then, why didn't you say something to me?"
"Because you would try and play match maker and screw the whole thing up."
"I would not!"
"Yes you would!"
"I'll have you know that my match making skills are legendry."
"Jed, just leave Leo alone. Let him work this out for himself."
"Abbey, you know Leo, I think he feels he doesn't deserve to be happy."
"I know Jed, but he has to figure that out for himself."
Zoey had been heading to the kitchen for a snack when she heard her parents mention her name. She stopped short, outside the door and listened. She really didn't mean to eves drop on their conversation about Leo, but she was curious to hear what they had been discussing about her. But after she heard Leo's name, she just had to listen. He had seemed so different since her kidnapping and she was worried about him. She left the hallway before her parents realized she was out there.
Leo's Hotel: 9:30 pm
Leo has been home now for a few hours. He has just been sitting on the couch and thinking about the past couple of days. How he made it through another day without Margaret is a wonder. He goes into his bedroom and changes into his pajamas. He turns on the radio beside his bed in an effort to draw his mind away from these past couple of days. The station that he normally listens to, is in full holiday mode and is playing only Christmas Carols. When Christmas Without You comes on, he lies down on his bed and gives the song his full attention.
White Christmas and I'm Blue
Like fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
Leo thinks about how unbearable work has been these past two days without Margaret. He didn't realize just how much he depends on her quirkiness and humor to get him though the day.
The fireplace keeps burning and my thoughts keep turning
The pages of memories of time spent with you
Old Christmas songs we knew and used to make love to
Make it hard to get used to
Christmas Without you
He can't help but let out a sigh and think how accurate those words are. True they have never been together as a couple in that sense. Leo wonders, where did that thought come from? Wasn't that the feeling he had been experiencing of late? Was he really in love with Margaret? Those lines do seem to fit him, without his Margaret.
Christmas without you
White Christmas and I'm blue
I love you and I miss you
So sad but so true
Christmas without you
Like a mystery with no clues
Like Fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
My life summed up in one small chorus in a Christmas song, how depressing is that, he thinks. He can't help but think, that unhappiness is all he deserves. A lone tear slowly descends down his face and falls silently onto his pillow.
The sweetest gift I know would be if the new snow
Could fall on your footsteps on this Christmas Eve
The most joyous Christmas if luck could be with us
Would be if Saint Nicholas brought you to me
The sweetest gift would be her with me on Christmas morning. But she doesn't feel the same way I do. What would she want with an old man like me? She knows about my demons and has seen me at my worst. How could she love me after all she has seen? But oh, what joy it would me bring if she was mine. "My Christmas's will always be without you." He whispers to himself. After the song ends he rolls over and falls asleep.
Margaret's apartment: 9:30 pm
Margaret goes into her bedroom, turns on the radio and sits down on the bed. Once again, she is trying to get her mind off of Leo. She thinks about cleaning or organizing something else, but her apartment has had a complete overhaul these past two days. She decides to lie back on the bed and listen to the Christmas music playing on the radio. The next song that plays is Christmas Without You.
White Christmas and I'm Blue
Like fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
Oh my god, how true those first few lines are for me. I feel like nothing without Leo, even though he has never really ever been mine.
The fireplace keeps burning and my thoughts keep turning
The pages of memories of time spent with you
Yes, we sure have spent a lot of time together over these past twelve years. I have so many wonderful memories of my time as your assistant, but they are not enough to satisfy me. I want to make memories of us together as a couple.
Old Christmas songs we knew and used to make love to
Make it hard to get used to
Christmas Without you
"I wish." Margaret smirks out loud. She knows that she will never get the chance to feel his gentle hands on her body.
Christmas without you
White Christmas and I'm blue
I love you and I miss you
So sad but so true
Christmas without you
Like a mystery with no clues
Like Fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
"How can I ever get used to being without you?" She wonders out loud. The Christmas's that I have spent with you have always been at work, but in my mind and heart there has been so much more. The tears of sadness start to flow again.
The sweetest gift I know would be if the new snow
Could fall on your footsteps on this Christmas Eve
The most joyous Christmas if luck could be with us
Would be if Saint Nicholas brought you to me
"This is too much to expect. His footsteps will never fall upon my doorstep. He doesn't feel the same way I do. My Christmas's will always be without you." She whispers to herself. After the song ends she rolls over and falls asleep.
Leo's Hotel: 11:30 pm
Leo wakes up and he is lying on top of the covers on his bed. He bolts upright and looks around apprehensively. He is alone in bed. It must have been a dream. It all comes rushing back to him. She had been here in this room, with him. More importantly, she had been in his bed. They had made love and it had been amazing. He had made love to Margaret! His mind starts to clear and he is more awake now. He realizes that an incident has occurred. He hasn't had that type of dream in a long time. Not since, well. he can't remember when. He can't believe that this has happened to him, a man of his age. God, this is so embarrassing.
After he is done in the bathroom and changed his clothes, he gets under the covers and tries to get back to sleep. But the images from his dream keep flooding his mind. Oh my god, she had been so beautiful and so soft. He had run his hands up and down her whole body. Her legs were.. He sat back up in bed. He has to stop this line of thinking. He needs to calm down. She will never be his. He lies back down and tries to think about the Welfare Reform Bill that he has been working on lately. He tosses and turns the rest of the night.
Margaret's apartment: 11:30 pm
Margaret wakes up and she is lying on top of the covers on her bed. She slowly looks and around and discovers it has all been a sweet dream. He is not in her room and he is not in her bed. But in her dream he had been there and he had made the most mind-boggling love to her. She can't help but think that this has been the most intense and realistic dream she has ever had. She has fantasized before about them in bed together, but this is the first time she has done nothing to help her situation, her release happened without her help. Her muscles are still contracting and her heart rate is still rapid as she lies here thinking about Leo's gentle hands roaming her body. He had been extremely gentle and loving.
Margaret gets up and goes the bathroom. She brushes her teeth and then heads back to bed. She seriously needs to get some sleep. He has been invading her dreams more frequently lately and she has not been getting enough sleep. She lies down, pulls the covers up to her head and wills herself not to think about Leo. She tosses and turns the rest of the night.
By: adoreleo
Pairing: Leo/Margaret
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: The characters are from the NBC, WB, TV show The West Wing; they do
not belong to me. Feedback: I would love it hear your opinion!
Summary: Its Christmas time at the White House and once again something is not
right.
Christmas Without You
December 23, 2003
White House: 7:00 am
Last night had brought snow to the District so the streets and sites of Washington were encased with a delicate white blanket. Leo stares out the window of his car as his driver makes his way to the White House. He can't help but notice how peaceful and illusory DC looks this morning. The monuments are always so picturesque, when jacketed with snow. He is sure that Margaret will go on and on about what a beautiful morning it is outside. His heart starts to beat a little faster at his last thought. He can't wait to get to work and hear what she has to say about the snow.
Leo enters his office to find it dark and his office door is still locked. His first thought is that Margaret has probably been delayed due to the snow. He unlocks his door and hangs up his camel colored overcoat on his coat tree and walks over to his computer. It is still on from last night. He must have forgotten to shut it down last night. Margaret always does that for him he thought. She should be here any minute now. She's going to notice that he was here late last night. Nothing ever gets by her.
Leo sits down at his desk and starts to straight up the mess he made yesterday. There's a knock at his door and Donna walks into his office.
"Good Morning Leo."
"Hey Donna, if you're looking for Margaret she must be running late from all the snow we got last night. I'm sure she'll be in here any minute now." Leo's voice can't mask the trepidation that he feels.
"Um. Leo, that's why I'm here. I just got off the phone with her and . she won't be coming in again today." Donna turns to leave; she isn't in any mood to play twenty questions with Leo.
"Donna, did she say what was wrong?"
Donna turned back to face Leo. "No, it was sort of a strange call, but then again you know Margaret." Donna bit her bottom lip; thinking that maybe she should just keep her opinions to herself.
"What do you mean strange?" The feeling in his stomach intensified.
"Well. she sounded more upset, than sick. Oh, and I almost forgot, she said to tell you 'she was sorry.' " Donna refused to look Leo in the eye when she told him this. She doesn't want Leo to know that she is worried that something else is going on. Margaret has not been her cheery self lately and Donna has tried to find out what was going on, but Margaret has been very closed mouthed. She had even caught Margaret crying at her desk one day last week, after Leo had gone to the Sit Room.
"Donna, do you know what's going on with Margaret?"
"No." Donna says trying not to show any worry in her face.
"Yeah?" Leo couldn't help but think that she is holding something back from him. "I'll need a temp again today."
"I've already called and got you a temp. Ms. Whitcome is the only one available." Donna literally spit her name out. She and the other senior staff assistants found Ms. Whitcome very unfriendly. They all had stopped by yesterday to see if she needed any help and each one of them were told that she was quite competent and she could handle the job. Ginger had told Donna that Ms. Whitcome had made comments about Margaret's filing system and her lack of ability to teach Leo how to use the intercom.
"Donna, are you ok?" Leo asked.
"Yes, why do you ask?" Donna said without changing expressions.
"Well, you just seemed like you were lost in thought and you were making a, I don't know, sort of a pissed off look on your face."
"Sorry, my mind drifts sometimes, ah . I need to get back or Josh will come looking for me. I swear that man can't go five minutes without me in the office with him."
Leo watches Donna leave his office and can't help but agree with Donna's last statement and the feeling in his stomach tells him that the same is true for him when it comes to Margaret. He decides it time to call her. He searches his top desk drawer for Margaret's home phone number. He can't shake the feeling that he should have called her yesterday. He finds her number and dials it. The phone rings four times and then the machine picks up. 'Hi you've reached Margaret McGuire. I'm probably at work right now, so please try there, if you have the number. But, if you are one of those annoying telemarketing people, please stop calling me!' Leo couldn't help but grin at her message. But when he hears the tone, he panics; he's not sure what to say, after a couple of seconds of silence. He hangs up the phone. "Damnit!"
Margaret's apartment: 7:00 am
It's been almost a half hour since Margaret called and talked to Donna. She had almost lost it on the phone with her. Donna had been full of questions and Margaret is sure that she suspects something is really wrong and that she is not really sick.
Margaret can't help but feel guilty about lying to Donna, but worst than that, is her guilt from being dishonest with Leo. That is something she has never done before. She is use to deceiving herself. She has been doing that for years. But, now it is time for that to stop.
Margaret walks over to her couch and grabs her laptop off the coffee table. She has to complete this step of her plan. She sits down on the couch and tries once again to write her letter of resignation.
White House: 9:00 am
Ms. Whitcome walks into Leo's office. "Mr. McGarry, I've been buzzing you on the intercom, didn't you hear it?"
"I'm sorry Jane . um . I mean Ms. Whitcome, so that was what that annoying noise was."
"Mr. McGarry, does Margaret even use the intercom? It's so much more efficient than running in and out of here all the time and if you would use it you wouldn't have to shout all the time."
Leo stands up from behind his desk. "It's how Margaret and I have worked for years." His voice is starting to show a hint of anger.
"Well, with all due respect Sir, I think its highly improper for someone in your high level position to be yelling for his assistant."
"Well, I think that since you are just a ." Leo stops mid sentence. There's no reason to make things worst. "Ms. Whitcome, Margaret and I both prefer a more personal working relationship. It's just what works best for us." Leo drops his shoulders and sits back down on his chair. "Now, is there something you need?"
"Yes, I came in to tell you that senior staff starts in ." She looks down at her watch. "Five minutes ago in the Oval Office, Sir."
"Well why didn't you tell me five minutes ago!" Leo is losing his patience.
"Sir, if you would answer your intercom, you wouldn't be running late."
"Yeah, well . Thanks." Leo gets up and grabs a folder and walks through the connecting doors and into the Oval Office.
"There you are." Says the President, who is sitting in his normal chair surrounded by the rest of the senior staff. "I was about to send out a search and rescue team for you, or at the very least Charlie."
"Very funny, Sir." Leo walks over to the chair directly across from the President and sits down.
The meeting goes on for about an hour. Leo is having a hard time concentrating on what is being discussed. He can't seem to stop worrying about Margaret. 'As soon as this meeting from hell is over with, I'm going to call Margaret.' He thinks to himself.
"Leo . LEO." The President is looking right at Leo.
"Um . Yes Sir." Leo has that deer in the headlight look.
"Isn't this where you normally say, what else?"
"Sorry, I . um . if that's all . I need to make a phone call." Leo gets up and hurriedly walks back to his office.
The President is left sitting there with his mouth open. The rest of the senior staff stand up and say 'thank you Sir' and leave as quickly as they can. The President gets up and walks to his desk. He wonders what in the world is going on with Leo. He makes a mental note to remember to talk to him later today.
Margaret's apartment: 9:00 am
Margaret's phone just rang for the third time this morning. She can't believe how many phone calls she gets during the day. This is the first time she has been home during the week for two days in row, in ages. She has once again given up on what is turning out to be, the resignation letter from hell and turns on the TV.
Margaret flips through the channels looking for something to watch. She stops on Jerry Springer. The subject for today's show is shown on the bottom of the screen. 'Secretaries Who Fall in Love With Their Bosses'. Margaret can't help but smirk. "Yeah, well here's a show for me." After about two minutes Margaret turns off the TV in disgust. "Oh my god, am I as pathetic as those losers on that show?"
Margaret gets up off the couch and goes to the hallway outside her apartment and picks up her newspaper. She walks into the kitchen. Pours herself a cup of coffee and sits down at the table. She opens the paper up and right there on the front page is a color picture of the President and Leo at some event yesterday. Leo had on his double-breasted gray pin stripe suit with his power lavender tie and matching handkerchief in his breast pocket. "He really looks sexy, and man, he sure can wear a suit!." Margaret says out loud.
After staring at the picture for a couple of minutes, she turns the paper to the Job Opportunities section. She needs to start looking for another job.
White House: 10:30 am
Leo is sitting at his desk, Toby is in his office going on about something, but he can't remember what. Finally, Leo holds his hand up to him. "Toby, I need to make a phone call, can we finish this later?"
"Yeah." Toby grumbles back at him and walks out of Leo's office into Margaret's outer office.
Leo dials and hears the same familiar message that he has already heard several times this morning. This time he leaves a message.
Josh is standing in front of Margaret's desk, waiting for his turn with Leo.
"He needs to make a phone call, I'd wait a minute or two." Toby says to Josh.
"Ok, no problem."
"Good luck trying to keep his attention. What is going on with him these past couple of days?" Toby looks at Ms. Whitcome and then leaves.
"Ms. Whitcome, this is when Margaret usually tells me a joke." Josh says.
"I'm sorry Mr. Lyman. I don't know any. Jokes are a waste of time and not proper for the work place, especially the White House. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take this file to the copy center." Ms. Whitcome grabs a folder and walks out.
Leo hangs up quickly and mutters "Damnit!" He doesn't know what is wrong with him. He's been reduced to a babbling idiot who can't leave a decent and coherent phone message and if the feeling in his stomach got any worst, he was going to . Well, he would think of something!
Josh is about to leave when he hears Leo slam his phone down and mutter "Damnit!"
Josh knocks on Leo's door end enters the room. "Leo, I needed to speak to you about ."
Leo stops him before he can go any further. "Josh, not now ... I . I have a meeting with Senator Baines, that I need to get ready for. So, if you'll excuse me." Leo looks down at his phone and then back up at Josh.
"Leo, is everything ok?"
"Yeah . Yeah."
"Ok, um . I'll come back in a couple of hours, do you want me to get on your schedule with Ms. Whitcome?" Josh smirked as he said Ms. Whitcome.
Leo looks up at him. "Yeah, get with Ms. Whitcome." Leo mimicked.
Margaret's apartment: 10:30 am
Margaret is now cleaning the bathroom. If she keeps this up her apartment will be spotless. She keeps postponing writing the one thing that she hopes will help to set her free.
Her phone rings again. She has been ignoring the phone all morning. This time though, the person leaves a message:
"Um.. Hi. It's Leo. I'm just checking to see how you are feeling? I . um .. Sorry to bother you .Would you . Bye."
After Leo hangs up, Margaret falls to the floor and pulls her knees to her chest and rocks back and forth as her tears return. Hearing his voice has sent shivers up her spine. How was she ever going to leave her feelings for him behind? How was she ever going to be happy without the one she loves? If only he felt the same way.
White House: 3:00 pm
Leo enters the White House and swiftly heads for his office. His meeting with Senator Baines did not go well. It ended with Leo shouting at him and then him abruptly leaving. He walks by Margaret's desk and looks for messages. He grabs the stack and goes into his office and slams the door. He is in no mood for anyone to stop by right now.
Leo walks behind his desk, sits down and starts to go through his messages. The one he was hoping to find was not there. Why hasn't Margaret called him back? The feeling in his stomach just got worst. Is Margaret so sick that she can't make it to the phone? Donna spoke to her this morning, maybe she knows more than she was telling or maybe Margaret called and talked to Donna again. There is only one way to find out.
Leos heads out of his office and off to the bullpen. Donna is not at her desk, so he decides to go in and tell Josh to send Donna over when she gets back. He stops abruptly when he hears Josh in his office talking to someone about Margaret. The other person speaks up and it's CJ.
"So, this is the second day she has called in sick," CJ asks Josh.
"Yeah, and Leo has the that no-nonsense temp again. She is so straight laced and stuffy. I asked her if she knew a joke and she went off on me."
"Leo must be enjoying someone who just wants to work and not spend time telling egg jokes."
"Yeah, hey she's short, older, very professional and kind of grumpy. They probably are the perfect match."
When Leo hears this comment, he decides it's time to head back to his office. He thinks about what Josh has just said. He and Ms. Whitcome? I think not. His mood is even more foul now, than it was before.
"Josh, how could you say that? I wouldn't wish her on anyone. And besides, I've always thought that Leo has a soft spot for Margaret." CJ has a wishful look on her face when thinking about Leo and Margaret.
"CEEJ, Leo and Margaret, that's not an image I want."
"Oh Josh, grow up!"
"OK ., but I just never thought about it. I mean . Margaret has always been there and well, its sort of like thinking about your parents, ya know!"
"Josh, I suspect that Leo isn't even aware of how he feels. but Margaret probably is and I don't know. but something has been different with her lately. She's not been her cheery self lately and now she's called in sick two days in a row."
"CJ, I'd love to stand here and talk about this, but I need to keep my appointment with Leo."
Josh finds Leo in his office sitting on his couch. "Hey Leo, are you ready to talk about 932?"
"Josh, why would think I would want to talk about that? I mean I'm here in my office, its time for our meeting and I've got the briefing book here on it?" Leo said very sarcastically.
Josh goes over to the chair next to the couch and sits down. "Ok, well the thing about this is."
Josh goes on for a while and Leo comments occasionally, but his heart is not in his work today. He wonders if this day will ever end.
Margaret's apartment: 3:00 pm
Margaret has been rearranging her furniture in her living room for the past hour. She really needs to stop and eat something. She hasn't had anything but coffee today. She goes to the kitchen and fixes herself a sandwich. She sits down and starts to eat it. She feels guilty about eating. She's sure that Leo probably hasn't eaten anything today. That man won't take the time to eat or sleep if he has his way and he won't stop for anything unless Margaret gets her way.
How many times since they got to the White House has she had to stand over top of that man to get him to slow down and eat something? And when he did stop on his own and get something to eat it was never a healthy item. She remembers the time that he was heading to the sit room and she was on him about health and fitness, he about had a cow when she asked him what he had for breakfast. He said he had half a grapefruit, but she knew he was lying. She could always see right through him.
Who is going to make sure he takes care of himself now? Who will rein him in when his temper flares? Will his next assistant stay until he leaves work? Will they drive him crazy with mindless trivia and jokes? Will the next one know how he likes his coffee? Will she also fall in love him too?
White House: 6:00 pm
Leo is sitting behind his desk and is going through his personal drawer when Ms. Whitcome comes into his office.
"Mr. McGarry, do you need anything before I leave for the night?"
"No, I'm fine. Thank you." He quickly shuts the drawer.
"Ok, well maybe I'll see you tomorrow."
"Ms. Whitcome, um . nothing. that's all, thanks."
"Ok" She gives him a puzzled look and leaves.
Leo was about to ask her what her plans were for Christmas, but he's sure that she would find that unprofessional. He misses his banter with Margaret. He misses her nagging him about eating right or enough, not sleeping enough and her new thing lately has been to get him to stop slouching in his chair.
Leo slides open his personal drawer and pulls out the file that has been dubbed The Margaret Museum. He starts to look through the notes from Margaret that he has saved from her over the years. They all are very neatly folded and carefully stored in the folder. He opens the one on top and can't help but smile at its memory.
Early this year, Margaret had really been on a healthy food kick. She had followed him to the sit room going over the President's schedule and when they got to item about the Health and Fitness Council, she went off on what he had had for breakfast. He lied of course and said he had half a grapefruit. When he got in the sit room he asked someone to get him a grapefruit. The meeting had been going on for about 15 minutes when his grapefruit showed up, but it didn't come alone. There was a note on the tray. Leo immediately recognized the paper and the fold. He opened the note and read:
Leo,
Why do you think you can get by with lying to me? Now, eat your damn grapefruit!
Margaret
Leo huffed to himself about the note. Fitz had asked 'was a note from his girlfriend.' And Leo sarcastically smirked, 'no it's from your wife.' Then the meeting continued on as usual. Leo had found out later that she had been in the mess when his request had come into the kitchen. The kitchen staff being well aware of Margaret recent health kick informed her, hence the note.
Leo's favorite note was not in the folder. He kept that one in his wallet. It was just too special. Leo had been in a very, stressful daylong meeting with a bunch of diplomats concerning an up coming visit and State Dinner. He was about ready to kill someone over their outrageous demands. Margaret came to into the room just as Leo was about to unload on them; her timing as usual was perfect. Leo sat there and read the note and then he reread it. Margaret had recently been trying to learn to speak Italian through a correspondence course, so she had written the note in Italian.
Leo,
potrei avere il bibbunino, per favore?"
Margaret
Translated it meant: Could I have your baby, please? Leo started to laugh out loud. The diplomats just started at him. After a few seconds, Leo composed himself and went on with the meeting.
Leo was inanely grinning from that memory. Margaret had meant to write: Could I have the check, please? She had been spouting that phrase the whole day before. He had never told her about her mistake, she would have probably died from embarrassment. But the note had done the job that it was suppose to and it was his favorite Margaret note.
Just as Leo is putting away the folder, the President comes strolling into his office.
"Leo, just what the heck is your problem today?"
Leo jumps up as usual. "What do you mean Sir?"
"Well, you haven't exactly been little Miss Mary Sunshine today, from the reports I have heard." Jed walks over to Leo couch and sits down. He motions for Leo to come join him.
"Sir, I've had a busy day and I still have a lot of reading left to do before I can go home tonight."
"LEO, what did I say about working normal hours this and next week?" Jed says in a voice that conveys that he is losing his patience with Leo.
"Yes Sir, but the government just doesn't stop because its Christmas. And since Margaret .." Leo stops suddenly and doesn't know what else to say.
"Leo are you ok?" Jed leans towards him and places a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm fine Sir."
"You know, I can tell when you are lying. Leo, you haven't been yourself these past couple of days. Does it have something to do with Margaret? Is she ok?" Jed knew that if Margaret was sick enough to miss two days in a row, that it must be serious. He wasn't sure that Leo could handle it if something was seriously wrong with Margaret. He also suspected that Leo felt more for his assistant, than he was willing to admit to.
"Sir, I .. don't know how she is. I've been calling all day and she doesn't answer. I even left a message, but she didn't return it." Leo face shows deep concern.
"Leo, that's not like our Margaret. She would return your call from her death bed."
At this last statement Leo has visually jumped. He seems on the verge of panic.
"Leo, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply." Jed just left his statement hang. He didn't know what to say to Leo.
"Sir, I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason why Margaret hasn't returned my call." Leo says trying to compose himself and drive those thoughts from his head that he too has been thinking.
"Leo, why don't you go home and try and get some rest." I'm sure Margaret will be back at work tomorrow and she will be tormenting you about your foul humor these past two days. Because you know someone will tell on you and if someone else doesn't, I'll rat you out!"
Leo tried to come up with a grin, but he failed miserably. "I'll try. See you tomorrow Sir" He gets up off the couch and walks over to his coat tree, grabs his overcoat and briefcase and is out the door.
The President sat there for a while, wondering how he could help Leo. It was so obvious to him now, that Leo was in love with Margaret. Tonight's conversation and his reactions had proven that much. He slowly gets up and walks into his office to finish up a few things before he heads to the Residence and to Abbey. When he reaches his office, he remembers to call the operator and close down the Chief of Staff's office for the night.
Margaret's apartment: 6:00 pm
Margaret is sitting on her couch. She just finished her letter o resignation. It is shorter than she would like, but what could she write? She couldn't very well tell him the real reason she is leaving. But it contains all the necessary information and it is finally done. She'll have it couriered over to the office tomorrow. It is too late tonight to have someone come pick it up, even though she has no doubt in her mind that Leo is still at the office and able to receive it.
She wonders how his day went today. His message he left sounded strange and strained. Maybe she should return his call and check up on him. She picks up the phone and dials his private line. The White House operator picks up and informs her that the Chief of Staff's office is closed for the evening.
Margaret is shocked that Leo has shutdown the office already tonight. Was he sick? What was going on? She couldn't remember the last time Leo went home this early. She knew it couldn't be Christmas, because it never made to leave early before. And Lord knows how many times Margaret has wanted him to leave early during the holidays. Should she call him at his hotel and check on him? NO!! This has to stop! She thought to herself. And then the next second she thinks maybe she should call Mallory. But then Mallory will call her dad. She didn't want Leo calling her again today. Her mind is still racing as she heads to her bedroom to find something to get her mind off of him.
She picks up her knitting and starts to work on the scarf she has been knitting. She's been knitting for about a half an hour, before she realizes that the scarf she is working on was suppose to be Leo's Christmas present. It would match his camel colored overcoat perfectly. She stops knitting and starts to cry again. She thinks to herself that eventually, she has to run out of tears.
The Residence: 8:00 pm
Jed walks into the Residence and goes searching for Abbey. He finds her in the kitchen doing some last minute baking.
"What ya doing?"
Abbey jumps having not realized that Jed has walked into the room. "Jethro, stop scaring me"
"Sorry, are you baking?"
"Yes, what's it to you"
"I just can't remember the last time you baked something."
"Shut up."
"Ok, lets just remember who your Commander and Chief is."
"Ok, lets just remember that I can make your life a living hell."
"Ah, . ok point taken." Jed walks over to Abbey and puts his arms around her and pulls her in for a hug.
"Why are you baking?"
"I overheard Zoey say something to Charlie today about cookies I used to bake at Christmas when she was little and I just thought it would be a nice surprise this year."
"Sounds good" He is still hanging on tightly to her.
"Jed, is everything ok?"
"Yeah, well .. I mean I'm not sure. I just sent Leo home tonight at six o'clock and he didn't even fight me over it."
"Is he sick? Why didn't you call me? Did he catch what Margaret's got? I heard she's missed two days in a row. She must have that nasty flu that is going around."
"He's not sick." Jed pulls away from the hug and walks over to the kitchen table and sits down.
"Jed, what's going on? Is he ok? Did something happen?"
"He's been a bear these past two days. Snapping at everyone, he even walked out of a meeting on the hill today. He's .. I don't know. I think he worried about Margaret."
"Just how sick is she?"
"That's just it, no one knows. I heard rumors that she seemed more upset than sick when she talked to Donna. Leo tried to call her several times today and she never answered her phone. She didn't even return the message he left."
Abbey has moves over to the table and sits down next to Jed. "Jed what else aren't you telling me"
"Abbey, you're going to think I'm crazy, but I think he's in love with her."
"Well Jethro, it took you long enough to figure that one out. I've suspected that for quite a while now. I think he's been in love with her for the past couple of years."
"Well then, why didn't you say something to me?"
"Because you would try and play match maker and screw the whole thing up."
"I would not!"
"Yes you would!"
"I'll have you know that my match making skills are legendry."
"Jed, just leave Leo alone. Let him work this out for himself."
"Abbey, you know Leo, I think he feels he doesn't deserve to be happy."
"I know Jed, but he has to figure that out for himself."
Zoey had been heading to the kitchen for a snack when she heard her parents mention her name. She stopped short, outside the door and listened. She really didn't mean to eves drop on their conversation about Leo, but she was curious to hear what they had been discussing about her. But after she heard Leo's name, she just had to listen. He had seemed so different since her kidnapping and she was worried about him. She left the hallway before her parents realized she was out there.
Leo's Hotel: 9:30 pm
Leo has been home now for a few hours. He has just been sitting on the couch and thinking about the past couple of days. How he made it through another day without Margaret is a wonder. He goes into his bedroom and changes into his pajamas. He turns on the radio beside his bed in an effort to draw his mind away from these past couple of days. The station that he normally listens to, is in full holiday mode and is playing only Christmas Carols. When Christmas Without You comes on, he lies down on his bed and gives the song his full attention.
White Christmas and I'm Blue
Like fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
Leo thinks about how unbearable work has been these past two days without Margaret. He didn't realize just how much he depends on her quirkiness and humor to get him though the day.
The fireplace keeps burning and my thoughts keep turning
The pages of memories of time spent with you
Old Christmas songs we knew and used to make love to
Make it hard to get used to
Christmas Without you
He can't help but let out a sigh and think how accurate those words are. True they have never been together as a couple in that sense. Leo wonders, where did that thought come from? Wasn't that the feeling he had been experiencing of late? Was he really in love with Margaret? Those lines do seem to fit him, without his Margaret.
Christmas without you
White Christmas and I'm blue
I love you and I miss you
So sad but so true
Christmas without you
Like a mystery with no clues
Like Fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
My life summed up in one small chorus in a Christmas song, how depressing is that, he thinks. He can't help but think, that unhappiness is all he deserves. A lone tear slowly descends down his face and falls silently onto his pillow.
The sweetest gift I know would be if the new snow
Could fall on your footsteps on this Christmas Eve
The most joyous Christmas if luck could be with us
Would be if Saint Nicholas brought you to me
The sweetest gift would be her with me on Christmas morning. But she doesn't feel the same way I do. What would she want with an old man like me? She knows about my demons and has seen me at my worst. How could she love me after all she has seen? But oh, what joy it would me bring if she was mine. "My Christmas's will always be without you." He whispers to himself. After the song ends he rolls over and falls asleep.
Margaret's apartment: 9:30 pm
Margaret goes into her bedroom, turns on the radio and sits down on the bed. Once again, she is trying to get her mind off of Leo. She thinks about cleaning or organizing something else, but her apartment has had a complete overhaul these past two days. She decides to lie back on the bed and listen to the Christmas music playing on the radio. The next song that plays is Christmas Without You.
White Christmas and I'm Blue
Like fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
Oh my god, how true those first few lines are for me. I feel like nothing without Leo, even though he has never really ever been mine.
The fireplace keeps burning and my thoughts keep turning
The pages of memories of time spent with you
Yes, we sure have spent a lot of time together over these past twelve years. I have so many wonderful memories of my time as your assistant, but they are not enough to satisfy me. I want to make memories of us together as a couple.
Old Christmas songs we knew and used to make love to
Make it hard to get used to
Christmas Without you
"I wish." Margaret smirks out loud. She knows that she will never get the chance to feel his gentle hands on her body.
Christmas without you
White Christmas and I'm blue
I love you and I miss you
So sad but so true
Christmas without you
Like a mystery with no clues
Like Fireworks with no fuse
Christmas without you
"How can I ever get used to being without you?" She wonders out loud. The Christmas's that I have spent with you have always been at work, but in my mind and heart there has been so much more. The tears of sadness start to flow again.
The sweetest gift I know would be if the new snow
Could fall on your footsteps on this Christmas Eve
The most joyous Christmas if luck could be with us
Would be if Saint Nicholas brought you to me
"This is too much to expect. His footsteps will never fall upon my doorstep. He doesn't feel the same way I do. My Christmas's will always be without you." She whispers to herself. After the song ends she rolls over and falls asleep.
Leo's Hotel: 11:30 pm
Leo wakes up and he is lying on top of the covers on his bed. He bolts upright and looks around apprehensively. He is alone in bed. It must have been a dream. It all comes rushing back to him. She had been here in this room, with him. More importantly, she had been in his bed. They had made love and it had been amazing. He had made love to Margaret! His mind starts to clear and he is more awake now. He realizes that an incident has occurred. He hasn't had that type of dream in a long time. Not since, well. he can't remember when. He can't believe that this has happened to him, a man of his age. God, this is so embarrassing.
After he is done in the bathroom and changed his clothes, he gets under the covers and tries to get back to sleep. But the images from his dream keep flooding his mind. Oh my god, she had been so beautiful and so soft. He had run his hands up and down her whole body. Her legs were.. He sat back up in bed. He has to stop this line of thinking. He needs to calm down. She will never be his. He lies back down and tries to think about the Welfare Reform Bill that he has been working on lately. He tosses and turns the rest of the night.
Margaret's apartment: 11:30 pm
Margaret wakes up and she is lying on top of the covers on her bed. She slowly looks and around and discovers it has all been a sweet dream. He is not in her room and he is not in her bed. But in her dream he had been there and he had made the most mind-boggling love to her. She can't help but think that this has been the most intense and realistic dream she has ever had. She has fantasized before about them in bed together, but this is the first time she has done nothing to help her situation, her release happened without her help. Her muscles are still contracting and her heart rate is still rapid as she lies here thinking about Leo's gentle hands roaming her body. He had been extremely gentle and loving.
Margaret gets up and goes the bathroom. She brushes her teeth and then heads back to bed. She seriously needs to get some sleep. He has been invading her dreams more frequently lately and she has not been getting enough sleep. She lies down, pulls the covers up to her head and wills herself not to think about Leo. She tosses and turns the rest of the night.
