Disclaimer: I (ack) do not (gah!) the charac (Eck!) ters in Artemis (Agh!) Fowl or Ru (Kack!) rouni Kenshin. (Ack!) Kelsey (Cah!) please stop (Eck!) Strangling me!

Whew. Okay, sorry Kelsey for upsetting you! I really mean my reviewers no harm. *whacks Cayley with a turtle* But if you are going to read fics like these, be prepared for the worst and always bring your teddy bear in case there is something so disrupting from your daily schedule, and you need someone to hug. My teddy bear is a polar bear. And he is named Polar Bear. He has always been named that. Nothing else. What a creative person I am, eh? No actually, I am the most outrageous and artistic person you will find within a twenty Kilometers from here. Isn't that nice? Yes, t'is! I also like Shakespeare so DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME!!! MAKE FUN OF CAYLEY!!!

Now, uh where were we?? Let's see.... Oh yeah, the Ring thing. HEY THAT RHYMES!!!!! Can you believe how Rhymes is spelled???? I hate the word, but I can spell it correctly usually. Speaking of spelling, in first grade I was excellent at spelling and I could spell the huge word: kaleidoscope. And when I bragged to the teacher, she asked me if I could spell the words we were currently studying like animal. And I couldn't so that shut me up. And then another time in first grade, I was VIP of the week (I had waited a frickin long time too!!!!) and so we were doing this project where we were putting the first letter of our name on construction paper, so since I was VIP, I got to choose first and I saw no color that I really liked when my teacher held all the paper up, so I just chose one randomly. It was an ugly light green, but I said something that I forget that the teacher took to be as a rude statement and so she made me wait till last. I was really put out by that one.

Um, so where were we? Oh yeah, forget all that useless information about my life that you just read and let's get on with the story.

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Arrow looked around the cave for Kenshin and sure enough, he was crammed into a small little birdie cage, captive behind the refrigerator. "HA!" The Author yelled at Ami. "I have found your hideout! Surrender or DIE!!!"

Ami and Arrow stood there looking at each other for a while, but then Ami shrugged. "Whatever. You can take him." Arrow grinned happily and turned to the cage.

"Miss Arrow! I am pleased to see you!" Kenshin said through the bars.

"Shut your trap Kenshin!" Arrow said. Ami smirked and laughed evilly. Arrow whipped around to stare at her. "What are you laughing evilly about?" She asked.

"Nothing," Ami piped, her smile still curling on her lips in a cruel manner.

"Why do you have a smile with a cruel manner on your face then?" The Author asked quizzically, raising her eyebrows and holding her sword tightly.

"Um. I... thought... of... a funny joke...!" Ami said cheerfully, lying.

"Oh, well tell it to us then!" Artemis said, looking up anxiously at her blue eyes.

"Well, once there was this farmer, and he was wearing a belt, right? So he strolls into this bar an says to the bartender: "Got any E-strudels?" And the bartender says: "This is a bar nimrod!" And the man is like: "Well what if I say this is a bakery?" Then the bartender says: "Get the heck out of here ya git!" And the man says: "Fine." And he walks out." Ami stopped, laughing hesitantly.

The Author looked at Ami in a blank stare. "That.... Was the most... FUNNY JOKE EVER!!!! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!" The Author bent over and laughed hysterically, tears falling from her eyes.

Holly shielded Artemis's eyes with her hand. "Artemis," she said, "I don't want you to see our Author like this."

Arrow suddenly stopped and looked seriously at Kenshin. "K, Kenshin. I'm a-comin now." She walked toward the cage that was placed behind the fridge. Ami grinned darkly, but kept it to herself this time. Then she took out a remote control and pressed a button on it. The doors to the fridge opened slowly into Arrow's view.

"Ah!" Arrow said, shielding her eyes from the light of the sacred fridge. But then she forgot everything he had come for. She looked in awe at what was inside the fridge: Shrimp. "Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow." She said in a daze, then moved toward it, stuffing in all in her mouth. Artemis, Holly and Butler came over to her.

"Um. Author? Author? Hello? Can you stop eating shrimp? HELLO?" Holly said, slapping The Author across the face several times in vain. Butler backed up with a frown on his big face.

"I'm sorry to do this, but.... "He looked to Holly and Artemis, "Holly. Artemis. Fire in the hole."

Holly looked at him in astonishment for a moment, but realized with a jolt what he was going to do as he lifted a bazooka to his shoulder. "CRAP!!! ARTEMIS!!! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed and dived for cover.

Click. KA---- PPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Was that cool, or was that cool?)

Holly stood up after the explosion and raced to find the Author, smoldering in the rubble. "AUTHOR!!! AUTHOR!!! ARE YOU OKAY!??!?! WHERE DOES IT HURT!???!!??!?!"

The Author looked at her, stunned and then to the charcoal-fridge in front of her, devoid of shrimp now. "Why?" She asked quietly, "why? Why Holly? WHY??? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE SHRIMP!?!??!?!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BLOW UP THE SHRIMP!?!?!?! OF ALL THINGS!!!!!!! WHY THE SHRIMP, DAMMIT?!?!?!? TAKE ME, BUT NOT THE SHRIMP!!!!!!!" She screamed in fury and had a tantrum. "I WANT SHRIMP!!!! I LOVE SHRIMP!!!"

Artemis went over and unlocked the cage in which Kenshin was being held. He heaved a huge sigh as he looked at the wreckage and stretched.

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KENSHIN WAS FREE!!! OH YEAH!! OH YEAH!!!! WHO'S GOOD!?!?!? SHRIMP!!!! SHRIMP!!! Okay, salut pour maintennant!!!!!!! SHRIMPY DIMPY KIMPY!!!! GO SHRIMP!!! GO SHRIMP!!!