~ To start anew ~

by Ola

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A/N~ back to normal schedule (one post per week)….unless the final exams of in two weeks come screw everything up again! =) thank you so much for the reviews *hugs everyone* little comments at the end. Enjoy the story!

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Part 4~ Truth hurts

"Good evening Legolas."

"Good evening Vanyar." The young elf's voice was flat and emotionless, as he stared at the ceiling.

"I will tell you the truth. There is no reason in saying half of what is needed to be said. And you already know what is happening to you, except for the details. To be honest, I have never seen or heard of a paralyzed elf. All the ones who suffered your fate died mere hours after being struck. Lord Elrond has been summoned and will arrive in nine days. He, if anyone, will know more about your condition. Meanwhile, all I can do is keep your pain at bay, and discover the extent of your affliction, if you will allow me." The healer's voice was soft, but it held no pity. He knew the detriments of such a feeling toward his patients and had long ago cast it aside, as hard as it sometimes was.

The older elf sat on the bed and looked intensely at his prince before continuing. "I cannot say whether you will ever walk again Legolas. I do believe you can regain some of your abilities, although it will be a slow and painful process. But one that can be accomplished if you are willing to give it your best instead of giving in to grief. However, only you can decide what your future will hold."

The younger elf turned his head, and looked at his healer for the first time since the latter had come into his bedroom. There was no emotion in his eyes; nothing the healer could understand and latch onto to help him. "Thank you Vanyar. I appreciate your honesty. Do whatever is necessary."

Vanyar placed the palm of his hand on Legolas' brow, unsatisfied with how the young prince was taking the news. Yes, he had wanted to hear the truth, and thought he was ready for it, but he was still young, still full of hopes. At least he was…until this moment. For there was no more hope in those eyes now. Only emptiness. No, Vanyar could not loose his patient. Patient? He was more like a younger brother. Long had Vanyar known the prince. He was there at his birth, and he recalled the moment as if it was mere days ago. The little newborn had looked at the world with enormous sky blue eyes and a little smile, while clutching his mother's hand with tiny fingers. Quickly he had grown into a mischievous elfling, always discovering new things to wonder at, finding everything interesting, and getting into no few scraps because of his insatiable curiosity. Always he had looked on life as something to be taken with a smile, and there was always some good to be found in every wrong. That was the Legolas that everyone had come to know and cherish. Not the dispirited young elf that lay lifelessly on the bed.

He's sick, weak, and will never walk again. How would you feel? Thank Eru he's alive!                 And pray to Elbereth he will stay that way…

Healer Vanyar gently probed the young elf's body while asking if he felt anything. It was a simple exam, but long and hard on the prince's moral. Even though he had wanted the truth, he was not sure he was ready for all of it.

But I would find out sooner or later. Better sooner, and get it over with.

His resolve to stay calm and optimistic was slowly uprooted, as Vanyar's probing reached his torso…his arms…his elbows…and still nothing. He shivered as the healer's warm hand finally brushed against his shoulder, and he felt the touch. A cold lump settled in his throat. He didn't know if there was one in his stomach as well. And for the moment, he couldn't even bring himself to think that at least he had been ridden of butterflies in his abdomen for good. No. There was no good in this wrong. There could never be.

Vanyar did not comment on his administrations, for which Legolas was greatly thankful. He somehow did not think he wanted to hear anyone's voice for a while. Nor see anyone. He only wanted to be left alone. Alone with what he had become. For a moment, he thought the older elf would actually leave right away as he moved away from the bed, but he only turned toward a table, moved a few things around, and came back with a cup full of an opaque white liquid.

"Drink."

He propped his patient up and held the cup to his lips, slowly tipping it, then gently laid Legolas back down on the pillows.

"Sleep." And with a soft smile, made to reassure, he finally left.

The young prince closed his eyes, letting go of his mask of indifference. He was alone now.

Alone. Like I wanted to be. And why doesn't it help?

He felt even worst than previously. Alone with his misery, he could not help but wallow in self-pity. And for a while, it gave him a twisted pleasure to do so…

…until his strength ran out.

…until he realized he would never be able to draw a bow.

…until he cried himself to sleep, tears and pain etched on his pale face.

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A/N~

-cheysuli- is that a good thing?...here, take some tissues…hope you're okay now =)

-ophelia- mmm, updates everyday? *smiles sheepishly*

-tapetum- lol. I happen to like neurobiology =) *grins like an idiot* (and maybe I am one, but oh well… =)

-eck- eeeeecckkkkkk!!!  *grins and waves* lol. Thanks so much. I'll try to edit that sentence then. As for Aragorn….I was thinking about squeezing him someplace too and giving him a little part, and then I had an even better idea…but you'll have to wait for a little while *grins evily and ducks tomatoes* =)

-robin- thanks

-estel- legolas fan eh? *grins and nods head knowingly* =)

-daw the minstrel- well, there wasn't much about the content of the message. Sorry if you expected more, but it was just a convenient way to get legolas into an accident. Hope you're still reading anyway =)

-jambaby- well, here is the next and next post =)

….hope I didn't miss anyone… =) I love long reviews by the way *hint hint* *grins* =)