Solace Unforeseen
By Lily Evans
A/N: Takes place four years after the Second Flame Champion War.
The sound of the battle still raged outside the forest where she sat, though it had become faint. The screams of her men and sickening splatter of blood on the soft grass also resounded, scaring birds into the air. The sky opened up and rain began to fall on her with fierce rapidity, unyielding to her pain felt both physically and emotionally. She crawled deeper into the forest, hoping no one would see her.
Images crept back into her mind as she lay on the soft forest floor. Beheaded… that was not how she had expected to last see her knights. She was covered in blood…their blood, as well as her own. Her armor had been broken off, the rest of her clothes tattered and torn. She felt dead, just like all her friends. She began to cry, silently and alone in the night.
~*~
TWO DAYS LATER…
Nash leaned his head back, resting it on the back of his couch. What a day! He had done absolutely nothing! Sasarai had mentioned something a week previous about a possible mission into Zexay due to a crisis with a treaty negotiation, but Nash had heard nothing of it since.
Perhaps Sasarai was trying to give him space and time to cope with the death of his wife, but that was two years ago! A guy could only use so much space. He decided then to go speak with Sasarai. He had to do SOMETHING or he would die of boredom. He got up and headed for the door. However, before he could turn the knob a knock resounded on it. Nash cocked his head and opened it.
"Nash…" It was Chris; her voice was tired, as if she had run from Zexay to Harmonia. She was leaning on the doorframe, clearly exhausted. Her face was caked with dirt and… was it blood?
"Come in," he said, stepping aside, all thoughts of speaking with Sasarai instantly vanishing. "Sit down. Would you like some tea? Or something stronger?"
"Tea would be wonderful," she said, sitting down as he instructed.
He quickly prepared the tea for her and settled next to her on the couch. He watched as she put the steaming mug to her trembling lips. There was definitely something wrong with her.
"Would you mind telling me what happened?" he asked. She heaved a sigh and shut her eyes, as if she were reliving a painful memory. "You don't have to," he added hastily. "I just wanted to know…"
"No," she said, her voice was full of mourning. "I will."
"You don't have to now," he said. "If you would like to shower first or something then feel free. You can borrow something that belonged to my wife if you would like to get out of those clothes."
"That would be nice, thank you," she said. He stood up and pointed her in the direction of the bathroom and hurried off to get her some clothes to wear. He quickly found a long dress and hoped that Chris would not mind. There was not much he could do; his wife only owned dresses in the first place.
Chris did not take long to get herself cleaned. She emerged after only ten minutes, seeming ready to tell him what he wanted to know.
"Can you tell me what happened?" he asked again.
"Yes," she said. "We, Zexay, that is, are at war with the Nameless Lands. They were requesting to be allies, but our countries were so different we decided to resolve it on the battlefield instead of at a conference table. Well, the council wanted us to go to request Tinto's aid in the conflict. We were ambushed by soldiers before we could reach Tinto. They were willing to leave no survivors. They killed all of them…"
"All of them…" Nash said quietly. "You were very lucky."
"No," she said angrily. "No I wasn't! I saw it all. I never wanted to see any of them like that…"
"Chris…" he said. "I thought you would have to expect something like that, you're a knight."
"I know," she said. "I guess I never expected it to be them…"
"So all of the knights are dead?" he asked, she nodded. "So, Salome too?"
"Yes," Chris said. "All of the Six Mighty Knights, plus Louis and many others… And I could not stop it! I wish I could have done something, anything to prevent that!"
"There was obviously nothing you could do," Nash reminded her.
"I could have died alongside them!" she yelled. "I should have! It was my duty as captain to die with my men! Yet, I ran away. I ran away like a coward!" She burst into tears and buried her face into his chest. He brought a hand up and caressed her head by lightly stroking her hair. Her shoulders shook with every breath she took. Nash wished he could do more to help her.
"Listen to me," he said. "There was a reason you lived. There is a reason for everything. You might find what it is soon enough."
"I wish I knew now," she said through her tears. "I—I was too weak. I could not help them… I should not have lived…"
"You should rest," Nash said. "You've had a horrible experience. There is a guest bedroom here. Why don't you stay in there?" She nodded her eyes red and distended from crying. He led her up the stairs to a bedroom and turned to leave.
"No," she said suddenly. "Wait." He stopped in the doorway and turned back to her.
"What?" he asked curiously. "Would you like me to stay with you?"
"I—I don't want to be alone," she said, seeming ashamed. "I want you here with me." He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. He put his arm around her shoulders, to which she responded by leaning her head in his lap and shutting her eyes.
Nash sat with Chris until she fell asleep. He gently laid her on the bed and left the room, shutting the door silently behind him. He walked back downstairs to finish the probably cold tea that he had made earlier. He felt sympathy for her. He could not get the details of the story from her, though he decided not to press the issue. He probably did not want to know. Also, such an ordeal should not be relived more than once, sometimes not even once.
The thought of Chris brought up past feelings he wished to never experience again. Thoughts of his wife when she died. At least he had not gone through what Chris had; however, it was still painful to think of her. He closed his eyes, thinking about her. Another thought sprang into his mind in the process, one even more unpleasant. He had fallen in love Chris while he was still married.
He had felt horrible about it, even now. He tried to cover it up with hopeless flirting, to which he was answered with a threat. It felt good to know Chris had not been as taken with him as he had her, but it was still horrible. He had vowed to himself that he would spend more time with his wife. Also, only two years after the war she had died. It was too short of a time to spend with her.
Nash did not realize how long he sat, motionless, thinking about things that would never be again, or, maybe, had never been at all. All he knew was that he had to shake those memories from his mind as soon as possible. Life, he decided, was too short a time to live in regret.
He then got up to make dinner. The sun was setting, casting a crimson light over the city. Such a sun was deserving in such times. He was so lost in thought that he did not hear Chris come into the kitchen behind him as he finished cooking.
"Oh," she said. "I thought you were asleep or something…" This startled Nash. He spun around to see her look away from him.
"Sorry," he said, not really sure what he was apologetic for. "Have you ever tried Harmonia cuisine?" She shook her head. "Well, then you're in for a treat tonight." She smiled and walked over to him, looking into the pot.
"I never knew you could cook," she announced.
"There's a lot you don't know," he said, putting on devilish grin.
"Hm," she said. "Thank you."
"What for?" he asked.
"For everything," she responded. "Being around you puts me at ease. I am not sure why. Just four years ago you would infuriate me with all that you did. Now, I want to be with you." Nash smiled at her.
"Is that so?" he asked.
"Wait," she said suddenly as if realizing something. "Where's you wife? I haven't seen her." Nash's smile disappeared.
"You can't see her," he said, shaking his head. "She died two years ago."
"Oh," Chris said. "I'm sorry. I—I didn't know—"
"It's fine," Nash said. "You couldn't have. We haven't talked in four years. It has been a long time. I hardly think about it anymore." Chris seemed to see straight through his lie, but she nodded nonetheless, seeming slightly reassured.
"Would you like me to set the table for you?" she asked, changing the subject back to dinner.
"Could you?" Nash asked. "The plates are in the cupboard." Chris nodded and grabbed two plates. She also found the utensils drawer and took two spoons, forks, and knives.
They ended up eating in silence, neither person knowing exactly what to say to the other. Chris seemed lost within her own thoughts, her eyes occasionally becoming watery. Nash pretended to take no notice, knowing she would feel humiliated later on.
"Nash?" she asked after they had finished eating. "Do you mind if I stay here for a while?"
"What?" he asked.
"Only until I can find a place of my own," she clarified. "I'd like to live in Harmonia, but it's such short notice that I can't possibly find a house tonight."
"Of course," he said. "You can stay in the guest bedroom if you like."
"Thank you," she said. "I owe you so much."
"Think nothing of it," he said. "It's good to help out a friend."
"Thank you," she said again. She walked over to where he was sitting and embraced him. Nash felt his unpleasant thought returning to him but quickly pushed them away.
"We should get to sleep," he said. "It's getting late. I'll clear away the table."
"It's nice to have a friend in such unpleasant times," Chris said. "I must seem like a big wimp to you."
"No," Nash said. "I would still be crying if I were you. It's natural to feel grief for such a thing."
"Yes," she agreed. "But—I have to be strong…I have to…"
"There's no need to be," Nash said. "You don't always have to be so tough."
"Yes, I do," she told him. A moment of awkward silence passed as both of them pondered what to say next. Chris broke the silence.
"I love you," she said almost inaudibly. Nash stared at her, lost for words. "I'm sorry," she added hastily.
"It's fine," he said. He stepped toward her and pulled her into an embrace. She rested her head against his chest, seeming comforted. She tilted her head back to look at him. He kissed her lips gently. They stood in the embrace for a long time, neither of them speaking.
It was Chris, again, who broke the moment, when broke out of his arms. She turned and walked upstairs to the guest bedroom. Nash stared after her for a moment, a smile daring to cross his lips.
"Good night, Chris."
END
Okay, so tell me what you think, I am not the best at writing angst. BTW, Nash's wife was not Sierra. It was some unknown girl who can die. Review please!
Love always,
Lily
