~ To start anew ~
by Ola
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A/N~ Ah! no! writer's block!!! =( Will. Fight. It. Must. Fight.!! Grrrr!!!
Okay, so here it goes. Never thought it would be so hard to pick up a story after leaving it alone for a few months. I hope it isn't too bad. I tried to connect it to the previous parts, and not make the break stand out too much. Hope it worked.
On another note. There's some Legolas, Estel, humor and angst. I really hope to be able to get into gear again with this story, and finish it in a good time. Wish me luck, cause I'll have to fit it in into an already surcharged schedule. Aii!!
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Part 13~
"Legolas?" Estel's gray eyes peered anxiously into the young elf's blue ones. There was something on his mind, and by his expression, it was both eating him up with curiosity, and making him squirm with the knowledge that perhaps this was not yet the right time to ask.
"Yes?"
"I…" he found his shoes suddenly very fascinating. "Why-are-you-sick?-I-heard-ada-say-you-can't-move.-Is-that-true?" His words ran together in his haste and fear.
The point blank shots of young children never failed to make their impressions.
"…"
The little boy looked up as the silence grew slightly heavy. His eyes became round and wide as he mumbled a quick "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," and went back to staring at his little shoes with a vengeance, unconsciously wringing his hands.
…I…A soft sigh escape the elf as he momentarily closed his eyes against the wave of pain as memories flooded his mind. I can't…not yet…But it's Estel. He helped me with Elrond. Damn it, he helped me a lot more than with that. He deserves to know…
…but do you deserve to hurt yourself in the process? Do you want to?
He opened his eyes again and his heart spasmed painfully at the sight of the little boy cringing away from his gaze. No…please…don't…
"Estel?"
The past could not be as painful as the present, could it? Nothing, not even memories, cold hurt as much as seeing the child dash angrily at his shameful tears, could it? Could it?
"No. I cannot move," he spoke barely above a whisper, closing his eyes to fight against the invisible hands that clenched his heart and throat. Would ever a time come when he would be able to reminisce that day without tears in his eyes and a painful lack of air in his lungs?
"You don't have to talk about it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." Estel's own eyes filled with tears as he scrambled from his chair and ran to the prince's bedside, embracing him in a clumsy but heartfelt hug. There was nothing in the world Legolas wouldn't give away at the moment to be able to return the embrace, and show the boy how much he was moved.
So young, and yet so wise.
"Ssshhh…it's okay. You did nothing wrong little one. Do not be sorry." How awkward it was to show with words what he wanted to demonstrate with actions! And how frustrating! What to tell a panic-stricken child full of remorse? How to show love and sincerity? "How I wish to be able to hold you back, little one. I am sorry that I cannot. Please, do not cry. I am sorry if you thought I was angry with you. Estel?" How words were inappropriate in such conditions!
Estel hiccupped and wiped his tears with the back of his sleeve, wriggling a little as he searched for a comfortable position on Legolas' bed. Big gray eyes regarded the elf with childish curiosity, all sorrow seemingly forgotten like a bad dream.
"You really can't?" he inhaled the last word in fascination. Whether human or elven, little boys would always be little boys.
"No," the prince tried a little smile, and found it strangely easier than expected. "I cannot feel anything below my elbows."
"Wow…" Estel's eyes went round, then, if possible, rounder still as he clapped his little hands on his mouth. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean…"
Legolas' smile grew a little more. "Do not be sorry little one. I already told you so."
Estel's mouth formed a little "o" of surprise. "How…how did it happen?"
"I was shot by an orc arrow in the back. It broke my spine." Such few words. More painful than so many arrows. And yet…a little less than the same thoughts had been yesterday. Legolas heaved a sigh, and tried to turn the corner of his lips into a semblance of a smile. Estel was too young to think about such things. He should not know of the cruelty of the word. Should he?
Obviously, the little boy in question thought over wise, for he scuttled a little closer and pocked the elf in the stomach.
"The fact that I can't feel that doesn't give you the right to turn me black and blue you little imp." Estel grinned, but obligingly stopped. However, not two minutes had passed before there appeared in his eyes a mysterious little flicker and he jumped of the bed, to be back a heartbeat later, his grin wider than ever. Out from behind his back, he produced…a feather. And not just any feather. It was the one he had gifted the prince that first day.
Legolas starred at him in bemusement, then smirked. "It won't work. You can try as long as you wish, little friend." Well, at least one good thing came out of this whole disaster. Nobody, and I mean nobody, will ever tickle his toes to wake him up! But Estel looked just a tad too sure of himself, and the elf's cocked his head to the side, wondering what the boy had in mind.
Too late did he see the dreaded weapon approach his face and make a quick swipe under his nose.
What the hell!!
Before Legolas could recover from his shock and from the terrible feeling of the soft quill, Estel moved in again. Try as he may, he could note escape it; the more he moved his head from side to side, the more it tickled!!
"Estel! Stop this right now you…you little…imp!" but the scolding came out as a pathetic little whine, interspersed with hysterical laughter. "I'll tie you to a chair and do the same to you!
"Hee hee, oh really?" The feather continued its dance. How could such an innocent exterior hide such an evil little being?
"Stop! Please!...And I'll give you anything you want! I promise! Anything! Esteeeelllll!!!!"
"Anything?" Legolas had no idea how he could switch from demon to angel in a heartbeat. The feather mercifully stopped in mid air, right in front of the elf's face. Aha, got you now! The prince lunged at the offending softness and caught it between his teeth, looking rather smugly at Estel's dismayed face. Yep. Although after a while, the soggy feather began to taste rather…bad, and the elf ungracefully spit it out, tufts of it remaining glued to his mouth. He looked in all the world like a cat after eating a flying meal.
"Okay! I know what I want!"
…what? Ah, yes, the promise. Although I didn't really mean it. Yes you did. No I… oh well. Here it comes then.
"Which is…?"
"I want you to con-vince ada to let me learn to ride a real horse!" the little boy waved his hands in the air, obviously ecstatic, and Legolas, just as obviously not, looked at him with a strange look in his eyes.
"I will, little one," he half-whispered, half-chocked. "I will. Could you please leave me alone for a little while? I am really sorry, but I feel very tired."
Estel nodded, his eyes round with worry, hopping it wasn't his fault. It wasn't, was it? He didn't hurt his friend, right? Because he really didn't mean to. He only wanted to make him laugh a little. To make him happy. He didn't like it when people were sad. It wasn't right.
At the door, he looked back at Legolas, suddenly very pale, and looking half asleep already. The soft smile he caught before leaving helped considerably, although his nagging conscience, as underdeveloped as it was, wouldn't leave him alone.
He hadn't hurt him, right? Right!?
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A/N! so, what did you think? Did I loose my touch? I'm sorry, no comments, and I didn't even proofread it. Aii! Hope it's not too bad, but wanted it out of the way before something else came up and delayed me for a few more days.
ola
