Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is not Mine. Sephiroth isn't either. Insane Sephy whose creation was fueled by one too many sugar highs while surfing FFVII fanfiction, is not entirely mine, since the whole character design thing belongs to Squaresoft. The idea for (this) Insane Sephy is mine, though. So don't steal, at least not without asking. Or sugar. Or something.
Author's note: Skiz and Sake are my cat-boy muses, currently, since all my other muses have hit the trail and gone on a road trip, leaving me. *sniffle* Insane Sephy appeared one day, attempted to rob the house using a plastic Masamune, and succumbed to attacks of random sugar-filled jelly snacks. Ever since then he stayed.
This story has no point. At least, I don't think it does. It was created for my own amusement purposes. It's a humor fic that revolves around, pretty much, nothing. Oh, wait, there's the whole Riku wanting to get out of Kingdom Hearts and trying to find Sora and Kairi and stuff, thing…. But that's not important. Blah. I'm bored with the Author Note. Let's move on, shall we?
**Flight of the Muse** (By: Zoshi the Confused)
(^-- Random Title that really doesn't have anything to do with the story)
(Sephy: *grumbles, puts away the fairy wings*)
Somewhere, in some deep dark corner of a deep dark world known as Kingdom Hearts, someone sits. He's been sitting there for the last three years. Or rather, he's been doing many, many things in the near vicinity of where he was currently sitting, for the past three years. He sighed. A few moments passed. He sighed again.
"Why is this place so boring?!" He screamed out into the darkness.
"Riku… Shhhh… I'm sleeping…." A big-eared mouse creature groaned from the darkness not far from Riku. Riku glared in its general direction, too mad and angry and bored to really aim, and then got up. The mouse heard him move and sat up.
"Where're you going?" The squeakiness in the Mickey's voice made Riku grimace.
"Nowhere." He said, walking off.
"Oh, okay. Bring back some pixie sticks, will you?" The mouse dropped to the ground fell back asleep.
Meanwhile…In a world not so very far away (just two blocks north, left turn by the Inter-World McDonalds), a house exploded. Okay, maybe it didn't quite explode, but chaos and mayhem WERE ensuing. All over it. Okay, maybe only in the kitchen.
"What do you mean you lost her?!" Tail bristling, Sake shook Skiz viciously, the other cat boy squeaking in discomfort. "How do you lose an author? And not just any author, but YOUR author?!"
"Calm down Sake, she's probably just in some corner of a dark bar, writing another story." Insane Sephy was busy putting sprinkles in his coffee. Yes, sprinkles, the green and blue kind that change color in liquids, or semi-liquids. You know, the ones you get with yogurt? Anyway, he grinned maniacally, mixing the coffee and watching it turn bright orange.
"But…but…" Sake dropped Skiz. "But she had my last box of Pocky! NOOOOO!!!"
Skiz sat on the floor, looking up pityingly at Sake, who seemed to be on the verge of losing his mind. Skiz didn't think this was a good idea. Ever since Sephy had lost his mind, he went around wearing fairy wings, throwing jell-o and waving around a plastic sword. And while the jell-o and plastic sword was lots of fun, Skiz just didn't think that Sake was the fairy wings kind of guy. So he did the only logical thing his slow brain could think of.
"AHHH! Comeonletgoletgoletgo!!!" Sake whimpered, attempting to dislodge the well-meaning cat-boy from his leg… and failing.
"Prrrawww!" Skiz grinned happily.
"No, bad cat boy! Bad!" Sake shook his finger at him, and Skiz released his leg. "What did I tell you about grabbing people's legs? It's not hygienic!"
Skiz's ears drooped, but then he jumped up, grinning.
"Uh oh…" Sake took a step back.
"Lollipops!" Skiz pulled out a dozen different lollipops out of his pant pockets and thrust them into Sake's face.
"AH! … Not so close!" Sake fell back onto the kitchen table.
I. Sephy, in the meanwhile, had noticed the lollipops. With a growl he jumped forward.
"SUGARRR!!!" He tackled Skiz and both fell onto the floor. Skiz tried to hide the lollipops, but was paralyzed by the sudden fear that gripped him the second he looked into I. Sephy's insanity-filled eyes.
"MROWR!" He cried, and the second he unfroze, he tossed his lollipops into the air like so much confetti.
"Sugar everywhere!" I. Sephy cackled madly, grabbing the lollipops and tossing them into the air again, just to watch them fall. All of this while still sitting on Skiz.
"Pocky…" Sake sobbed on the table, curling up into a ball.
All in all, all three had forgotten about the author. Which might just be a good thing.
Just as Sake was reaching a new level in his Pocky-deprived misery, I. Sephy was attempting to choose between two equally inviting lollipop flavors, and Skiz struggling to get out from under him, something else happened.
"AHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!! THEY BURN!!! BURNNN!!!!"
And so it happened that Riku found, not only something un-boring, not only his way out of Kingdom Hearts, not only the beginning of a new, crazy, and pointless adventure, but the wonder- Oh yes, the ultimate unabridged wonderful wonder- of the blindfold.
"You know what, the look works for you. All mysterious guy-like."
"My eyes still burn."
"mrrrow… Maybe we should make it tighter…"
"Skiz! Not that tight! We don't want to give him brain damage!"
"Cookies, anyone? I just baked them! And you know how the recipe says half a cup of sugar? Well I put in four!!"
"…"
"What? No one wants my cookies?!"
"Hey, what happened to all the descriptives? Why are we just … dialogue."
#@#@##@@#********BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT*******##@#@#@#@
I. Sephy came back, a huge grin on his face.
"Um, dare I ask what you just did?" Sake questioned.
"I whacked the computer." I. Sephy stuffed his face full of cookies.
"Oookay… I'm gonna be leaving now…" Riku started edging his way to the door.
"NOOOOOO!!!"
All anyone could do was stand by and watch as Skiz latched himself onto Riku's arm.
"You haveta help us find the author!" Skiz mrowed, clinging tightly.
"What? Hey, I have to go find people too, I don't-" Riku was interrupted by another happy mrowr.
"We can look for them together!" Skiz said happily. Riku looked uncertain.
"Well… What do you think, Sephy?" Sake glanced over at the oldest member of their group (just how old, no one knew. But he was older.)
"Will there be sugar?"
"What does that have anything to do with it?" Sake crossed his arms.
"WILL THERE BE SUGAR?!" I. Sephy bellowed, the sheer force knocking Sake back onto the table once again.
"Urg… yes…" Sake picked himself up, his collar bell jingling. Skiz heard it, noticed the shininess of the bell, and leaped onto Sake, intent on capturing the strange metal-jingly animal.
"AHHHH! SKIZGETOFFAME!!!"
"Well," I. Sephy ignored the scuffle on the table, although Riku, still being able to see well enough with the blindfold, edged away from it some more. "As long as there's sugar, I'm going."
"Let's go then." Sake jumped off the table, leaving Skiz still on it, hog-tied with his own tail.
"Mrrrrowwrrr…?" Skiz tried to catch someone's eye to help him. "Uh, guys, as interesting as this is… it kinda… itches… in a hurtful kinda way…"
Sake rolled his eyes.
"And you can't leave without me! I'm supposed to find the author too!" Skiz called as the others made ready to leave.
"You're the one who lost her!" Sake growled, tail bristling. Skiz gave him those giant watery eyes that anime characters get when they a) are going to cry b) want something really, really bad or c) both. Sake sighed, untied him.
"Fine, but stay out of trouble." Sake grabbed Riku by the arm and pushed him out the door before the utter insaneness of the house could infect him. "Let's go!"
"Fine," I. Sephy tossed the rest of his cookies into one pocket, then leaned over and picked up a small, slightly overweight, white and black dog. "But I get the dog."
"Awwwwww… I wanted the dog!" Skiz whined.
"Tough luck, chump," I. Sephy said, sticking the dog in his other pocket. "Now go get the Masamune."
"You mean the plastic sword?"
"I MEAN THE MASAMUNE!!!"
Outside, Riku and Sake stood waiting.
"You live with that?" Riku asked. Sake shrugged. They stood for another moment.
"Can't we just leave them?" Riku asked again.
"They'd find us eventually…" Sake said. Then, with a look at each other, the two guys took off running.
And for the next hour, all that could be heard coming from the house was:
"Plastic sword?"
"MASAMUNE!"
"Right, but its plastic…"
"No, It isn't!"
"Yes it is!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
etc.,etc.,etc….
Ahh… yes.. Insaneness. No point. Crazy muses. I think the best part of this whole thing is Riku. And why is it so weird? I blame it on all those humor-fics I've been reading! ARRGHH! Oh, and yes, If I happen to accidentally steal someone's idea, please flame me. That way I can correct my mistake. I've read so many fanfics, that its hard to keep track sometimes. So. Unless someone tells me otherwise, this might just end here. Heh heh heh… I'm weird…
