Chapter Seventeen - Open Your Eyes

It had been a hard day of riding for the Wood elves as the sun set into the west. They had hoped to reach Rivendell before sundown on the seventh day of there setting out from Thranduil's city. They had not been so lucky though. A late start had prevented them from getting as far as they would have liked on the second day and now they were still several miles from their destination with the light fading. The reason for their being behind schedule was the late rising of the Prince the day after the forest circle.

Everyone had, at some point during the night, noticed that the Prince was no longer among them. More importantly, they were all aware that Thriwien had disappeared too. Neither had returned until long after the others had gone to their shelter in the trees, and neither rose from their slumber until the party was packed up and ready to leave. In the end Ariel had been forced to physically wake her master. The sun was high above the tree tops when they finally set out.

During the ensuing days there had been an uneasy feeling throughout the group who, at the beginning of the journey, had been so merry. A cloud hung over certain members which affected everyone. Thrimalia had been quiet ever since she noticed that the Prince and Thriwien had disappeared from the circle on that night. Isàl had tried to talk to her but it had been difficult to get a response. Everyone knew that she had a crush on the Prince, but for her to act in this way was a surprise. This quiet isolation was unusual, even for her.

Ariel had a face like thunder. It was no surprise that she was angry about her Master's escapades on that night. She had been charged with making him think of marriage. He had promised her that he would not make her job any harder than it already was, yet he still thought it a good idea to take random women to his bed. Not even to his bed, he had seen fit to have his way with her on the forest floor, confirming what Ariel had always suspected about him, that he had little respect for those women gave themselves to him.

Finally there was Legolas. He had not said a word, not even when Ariel had shaken him awake. Everyone assumed that all had not gone well with Thriwien, and he was not pleased about that. The truth was, however, that he had never felt so guilty. He had allowed Thriwien's teasing to get the better of him and he had given into his lust, letting his old self re-emerge. When his Father had first insisted that he find a wife, he had been resistant to the idea, but over the past month, he had found himself opening up to the idea. He did not know if it was knowing Valmari or the time he had spent with Ariel or if the war had simply made him grow up. Whatever it was, his actions, which before he had gone to war would have meant nothing to him, now bothered him.

The group came over the top of a hill, and before them stood the Ford of Bruinen and beyond that was the Last Homely House. A small smile came to Legolas' lips. Perhaps here, in the home of Elrond Peredhil, he would be able to find some peace. He would be able to rest well. Dreams of the pain and suffering of war had plagued him this past week. These thoughts had weighed upon his mind in the year after the war, but his return to the Green Wood had brought a sense of calm to his mind. He had only seen death in his slumber a handful of times in the months since his return and every time it hit him worse than the last.

Ariel too was pleased to see Rivendell once more. It had been many years since she looked on the beauty of what, for several years, had been her home. It looked just as it had on the day she had left. An general feeling of stillness washed over her as the group rode down the valley and across the Ford.

Riding into the courtyard made Legolas feel more than a little uneasy. He had not been to Rivendell since the Council of Elrond. He knew such a situation could not occur now, but it was strange to think of what had happened there. He couldn't help but wonder what would have happened had the meeting never taken place.

The riders dismounted and their steeds were taken away by groomsmen. "Welcome, my friends, to Rivendell," a commanding voice said from above them. They all looked up, and standing at the top of a staircase was Lord Elrond, flanked by his twin sons.

"We are most happy…" but before Legolas could finish his sentence Ariel came bounding past him and ran up the steps into Elrond's arms. He accepted her happily and returned her embrace with a wide smile on his face. He then descended the staircase to receive the rest of his guests and she turned to Elladan and Elrohir hugging them both in turn.

"It is good to be home my brothers," she said to them. She spoke quietly, but not so quiet that Elven ears could not detect her words. "Words cannot express how much I have missed these walls."

"I can believe it sister for they have missed your presence also," Elladan said. "It is as if some warmth inexplicably disappears from the city when your laughter cannot be heard within it,"

"I am sure nothing so drastic could ever happen in Imladris, but I am pleased to hear that my presence is missed by the two of you." The two of them stood either side of her and took her arms.

"Come sister, we will escort you to your room," Elrohir said leading her into the Last Homely House.

"My room?"

"Yes, your room, surely you do not think that we have made any changes to it since you left us."

"I thought…"

"We would no sooner make any changes to your past here than we would Arwen's or our Mother's. You are as much a part of our family as they." She smiled broadly and allowed herself to be led away.

Down in the courtyard Elrond was welcoming the delegation from the Green Wood. "Your Highness, it is good to see you in my home once more. It has been some time."

"Please, my lord, do not compel yourself to use titles, not to an upstart such as myself and certainly not in the city where you claim Lordship."

"It is good to see you have not changed my boy, always shy of your status."

"I just do not think it right that you talk up to me milord, you have done and seen far more than I could ever dream of."

"Do not think so little of yourself Greenleaf. It was you, not I who represented our people at Helms Deep and at the final battle at the Black Gates. You deserve the respect your people offer you Legolas, do not be so quick to refuse it."

"Thank you, your words mean a lot to me." Legolas turned to his travelling companions to check that they were all well. Instantly his eyes were drawn to Thriwien who was looking at him with her usual, knowing glance. More than anyone, she knew that he could not resist the advances of a beautiful woman. A slight blush came to his cheeks and he looked to the ground, still feeling slightly ashamed of the way he had so easily allowed himself to be manipulated by her.

Suddenly his gaze was dragged from the spot on the floor he had been concentrating on, to the figure crossing the courtyard. A smile appeared on his face as he saw Lady Narawen walking towards him. He had intended on asking about her during his stay. His mind had often strayed to thoughts of the grieving Rivendell lady since the ball. Her pain had a huge impact on him. That she suffered so much suggests that she loved her mate with all her soul. There had been brief moments when he had yearned to feel that amount of love. Their life together had been so full, never had his liaisons offered anything close.

"Lady Narawen," Elrond called on seeing her. She walked over to where the two elves stood. "I have not seen you these past three days. Have you been unwell?"

The lady looked to the ground and breathed deeply, as if she were composing herself. "Nay My lord Elrond, I have been quite well but business has kept me busy at home." He looked at her sceptically, clearly not believing what she was telling him, but he decided it was best not to push the matter any further.

"My lord Legolas, it is good to see you," she said turning to him. "I was hoping I would have the chance while you were in Imladris."

"Lady Narawen, this is a most welcome encounter." He took her hand and raised it to his lips.

"Are you well?"

"I am very well Milady, all the better for having the chance to see you again."

"You flatter me Milord, but as always, flattery is gratefully received."

"Lady Narawen, if you are not busy, perhaps you would be able to entertain the Prince for a while? Just until it is time for supper" She looked to her Legolas to gain his approval for the idea.

"Of course, I would like nothing better. I know it is a little late, but would you care to join me for tea Your Highness?"

"That would be most pleasant Milady." He checked that the rest of his party was alright and then offered her his arm. She took it and lead him away from his group towards her home.

"I did not see you much after the ball Highness, I hope that your problems have been resolved now," Narawen said as they ascended the staircase.

"I think everything is resolved satisfactorily now. I must apologise for not taking more time to see you while you were still in Eryn Lasgalen. I am afraid that I had some affairs that required my attention." He instantly felt bad for lying to her. He just felt awkward discussing his drinking and womanising with this lady.

"That is quite alright Highness, I understand that a Prince has many demands on his time and does not have time to waste with Ladies such as myself."

"Time spent with you is not wasted milady." They reached her home and she led him inside to her parlour. There was a small table set with some tea things. Obviously she had spent some time with the hobbits before they had left on the quest.

"I hope you like tea and cake," she said. "Master Meriadoc Brandybuck indoctrinated me into the ways of high tea and I found I took a liking for it. I indulge myself most days now." She indicated that he should sit.

"I have not had many chances to partake in those Hobbit rituals, but the way they talked about it I am sure it is delicious." He took his seat and looked around the room as she poured the hot liquid from the pot. Everywhere he looked he saw the ghost of her late husband. His portrait hung on the wall; his sword rested in its scabbard in one corner, as Legolas was sure it always had; books on all manner of warfare, which were unlikely to belong to the lady of the house, lined the shelves; and a dark blue cloak, which was far too big for Narawen, hung on the stand by the door.

"You wonder at my having so many of my husband's possessions still in my home," she said, not even looking up, as she cut a piece of cake. "You do not understand how I can bare to be reminded of him."

Legolas looked at her astounded. How could she possibly know what he was thinking so accurately? She had not even been looking as he glanced around the room. He was afraid that he may have dredged up some unpleasant memories by making her think of Numbor. He did not want to cause her any more suffering than she already felt.

"Do not worry about it, you have not offended or upset me. It is what everyone thinks. Most people do not say it, but it is what they are thinking. Seed cake?" She held a plate out with a generous piece of the fancy upon it. "Of course at first it was unbearable to be reminded of him at every turn. I had to go and stay with family in Lorien. I have had time to get used to it though. I have not fully come to terms with losing him but I no longer weep every time I look upon his sword or smell his scent whilst walking past his cloak. Do you take sugar in your tea?"

"No thank you," he replied, somewhat distracted by her sudden confession to him. She passed him the teacup and saucer. "So you have not been tempted to remove his things from your sight?" He hoped she would not think he was being too forward in his questioning.

"Of course I have. It is hard to see these things, but I will not cast a shadow over the memory of our life together. That would be the gravest insult to his memory I could think of."

"I do not know how you do it. I have seen battles the like of which few of our people can imagine, yet I have never met anyone, mortal or elf kind, quite so brave as you are."

"You flatter me unnecessarily Prince. I am not brave. I still weep for him in the dark of the night. I still have days where I cannot face the world because he is no longer in it."

"Like the past three days. Why do you hide your suffering from Lord Elrond. He obviously worries about you?"

"The Lord has endured much suffering in his long life. More than most know. I would not have him worry for me. He does not know that there are times when I take to my bed because of the overwhelming sense of self pity which consumes me. I am just a grieving widow, I am not brave, I simply carry on living the best way I know how."

He looked at her with sad eyes, but managed to smile. "More than anyone I am sure that Lord Elrond understands that. Simply finding a way to carry on is courageous beyond what I can comprehend. You have loved unconditionally, which is a large enough task in itself. One I certainly have never been daring enough to undertake. But to have that taken away so cruelly and not fade from the pain I am sure it brought is nothing short of a miracle in my eyes."

"Is that what you fear Highness? That if you give your heart to someone you will lose them? It is a valid fear I suppose, but it is no way to live a life, especially an immortal one."

"I do not fear losing them, but I am a warrior, it would be wrong of me to marry and have a family not knowing whether I will live to see another four seasons."

"Numbor feared falling in love for that exact same reason you know. When I met him in the Grey Havens he tried his best to ignore me and make me dislike him because he feared that if he gave into what his heart told him, he would run the risk of hurting me more than he ever could by rejecting my love."

"But he has…" He stopped himself, suddenly realising what he had said, hoping that she would not be angry at his insensitive comment. She was not cross however, she looked at him and smiled.

"The greatest pain he could have caused me would have been to deny me his love in the first place. We loved each other for over three thousand years, nearly as long as you have been alive. If somebody told me that I had the chance to go back and not marry him in order to save myself the pain I feel now, I would not do it. I have lived a hundred mortal lifetimes of happiness. I would not have had that if he were not in my life. Fear of loss is no reason to deny yourself love. Trust me, your flings will not be a substitute." She took a sip of her tea. "I hope you do not me mind speaking so frankly but I sense that you are at a time in your life when you need some advice on these matters. I hear the stories of you which come out of the Green Wood. Your lifestyle will not continue to make you happy. Eventually you will yearn for the affection of one you love and who loves you in return."

Legolas was speechless. She spoke with such wisdom and sincerity. She genuinely believed that the love of another was what he needed. Her happiness in life had been made infinitely greater by the presence of her husband and she believed the same would be the case of him if he would only choose a mate. Legolas knew that she spoke the truth, but he resented being forced into action, first by his Father, then by Ariel and now by this lady who he barely knew.

"I apologise Your Highness," she said after a few moments of silence. "I spoke out of turn, I will speak no more on this subject." She picked up the tea pot and poured a little more of the hot liquid into his cup. "So you are going on to the Shire when you leave us. Have you been there before?" This is how they continued, making mindless conversation about nothing in particular. It was pleasant. It had been a while since either of them had been allowed the freedom to simply enjoy the company they were in.

After a while Legolas noticed that her attention was drifting away from him. She seemed to be looking out of the window, checking the position of the Moon. He took this as his signal to excuse himself and allow her to get on with whatever it was she had to do. "I have kept you for far too long milady. I think I should go and seek out Lord Elrond to thank him for receiving us before supper." He stood up. She followed suit and lead him over to the door.

"It has been a pleasure having you in my home Your Highness. I hope I have the chance to see you again in the future." He smiled at her and raised her hand to his lips.

"I do not think this will be the last time that our paths cross. I should be very sad if it were." She smiled at him as he placed a kiss on the back of her hand. He opened the front door and stepped out into the dark courtyard. He turned back and they said their goodbyes once more before she closed the door and he made his way back to the House of Elrond.

He could not get what she had said out of his mind. Her words were like being doused in cold water. She had made him realise what he had always know deep down, that the love of another would make him a better elf and a better leader. Perhaps it was time that he started to take the ideas of marriage and family more seriously. He could not go on randomly seducing women forever. He also had to stop himself giving into temptation as he had just the night before. It was going to be difficult for him, but he owed it to Narawen, and everyone else who had lost someone, that he did not waste the fact that his life had been spared.