Chapter 3 of the nonsense
Before she left for the courtyard, Jill wanted to check the upstairs hall for something useful. She met Barry instead. Jill: Barry! Barry: Jill! Jill: Barry! Barry: Jill Jill: Barry! Barry: Jill! Jill: oh for the love of God, quit! What the Hell do you want! Barry: I want to tell you that I have been waiting for you all my life.
Jill began to walk away when Barry spoke up again. Barry: Just a moment! I have a weapon that I want to give to you for some odd reason even though it won't help me get laid. Jill: What is it? Barry: Hey! Don't steal my trademark line! Anyway here are some grenades.
Jill took the grenades and pranced all around the hall and left into the courtyard. Beep: beep went the radio. Jill answered it and Brad's voice was heard. Brad: This is Brad! Answer me! Anybody!
Jill was about to do just that when Brad continued. Brad: Except if you're Jill! I read what she thought about me in her journal she left behind and boy am I pissed! She can just fuc-.
Jill switched the radio off. Jill: Maybe I should just wait a little longer.
Jill walked off the elevator and followed the path into the guardhouse. After a while of random searching, Jill found herself standing in the water for no sane reason. She started to move when she saw a dorsal fin. Jill: Oh no! A rip-off of "Jaws"!
Jill ran to the first room she saw and noticed two switches. One said, "In case of leak, pull switch." The other one read "In case of logic and reasoning, pull switch". The second one was already pulled down so she pulled the first switch and the water drained, leaving the shark high and dry. Jill then ran around randomly some more when she entered a room with a large plant attached to the ceiling. Jill: Oh no! A rip-off of "Little Shop of Horrors!" Plant 42: Feed Me!
Jill opened fire on the creature over and over again until it died. Jill reached into the fireplace and removed a key, then left the room. Bang, bang went a gun. Jill ran the corner and saw Wesker. Jill: Wesker! Wesker: Jill! Jill: Wesker Wesker: Jill! Jill: Wesker! Wesker: Jill! Jill: Damn it! Not this again! Wesker: So you're safe? Jill: No, I died from inactivity! What do you think?
Wesker nodded. Wesker: I always knew you could have used more exercise. Anyway, can you go back to the mansion and try to find more useful stuff? I would do it myself, but I'm too damn lazy. Jill: Ok. Wesker: Great, I'll look around in this place appearing to be useful even though you have already searched the place.
Jill thought about telling Wesker about Forest and Richard's death, the shark, the plant, and Brad's call, but decided against it. Jill: (Thinking to herself) I should only tell him about the important stuff.
She had now just reentered the mansion when she heard weird noises, then the door behind her opened and in stepped a creature. Jill: Wow! A teenage mutant ninja turtle! Can I have your autograph?
The hunter looked at Jill then retreated. Jill: Damn! I lose more and more celebrities that way!
Jill made it to another locked door, but she forgot the key to open it. Jill: I know! I'll just knock annoyingly until the Author unlocks the door! Just like his brother!
Jill than began to bang on the door as loudly as possible and screaming "Let me in!" as annoyingly as possible. (Just like the Author's brother.) The Author then answers the door. Author: Fine! You're in! Now quit that!
Jill walked in confidently when the snake slithered out of the fireplace and tried to attack her. Jill ripped out her grenade launcher and fired all the rounds into the snake. The snake was still alive and Jill ran out of ammo for the grenade launcher. Jill: Oh what the hell! We already ripped off so many movies we might as well rip Harry Potter off.
Jill snapped her fingers and the red phoenix appeared with the sword that Harry used to kill the snake in his book. Jill the used the same strategy that Harry used too, but then she got bitten just when she delivered the final blow. Jill: Crap! Phoenix: I can't believe I have to do this!
The phoenix then cried and when the tears hit Jill, she magically healed. Jill: Good thing that nobody in or out of this game believes in logic!
Jill then noticed a hole in the floor and decided to investigate.
End of Chap Three Thank you for reading this. I know that this chapter isn't as funny as the
other two, but bear with me. See ya next time!
Preview of Chap Four Jill: Enrico! Are you bleeding? Enrico: No Jill, this is just cherry syrup!
Barry looked at the blood and liked his lips. Barry: Cherry syrup.
Before she left for the courtyard, Jill wanted to check the upstairs hall for something useful. She met Barry instead. Jill: Barry! Barry: Jill! Jill: Barry! Barry: Jill Jill: Barry! Barry: Jill! Jill: oh for the love of God, quit! What the Hell do you want! Barry: I want to tell you that I have been waiting for you all my life.
Jill began to walk away when Barry spoke up again. Barry: Just a moment! I have a weapon that I want to give to you for some odd reason even though it won't help me get laid. Jill: What is it? Barry: Hey! Don't steal my trademark line! Anyway here are some grenades.
Jill took the grenades and pranced all around the hall and left into the courtyard. Beep: beep went the radio. Jill answered it and Brad's voice was heard. Brad: This is Brad! Answer me! Anybody!
Jill was about to do just that when Brad continued. Brad: Except if you're Jill! I read what she thought about me in her journal she left behind and boy am I pissed! She can just fuc-.
Jill switched the radio off. Jill: Maybe I should just wait a little longer.
Jill walked off the elevator and followed the path into the guardhouse. After a while of random searching, Jill found herself standing in the water for no sane reason. She started to move when she saw a dorsal fin. Jill: Oh no! A rip-off of "Jaws"!
Jill ran to the first room she saw and noticed two switches. One said, "In case of leak, pull switch." The other one read "In case of logic and reasoning, pull switch". The second one was already pulled down so she pulled the first switch and the water drained, leaving the shark high and dry. Jill then ran around randomly some more when she entered a room with a large plant attached to the ceiling. Jill: Oh no! A rip-off of "Little Shop of Horrors!" Plant 42: Feed Me!
Jill opened fire on the creature over and over again until it died. Jill reached into the fireplace and removed a key, then left the room. Bang, bang went a gun. Jill ran the corner and saw Wesker. Jill: Wesker! Wesker: Jill! Jill: Wesker Wesker: Jill! Jill: Wesker! Wesker: Jill! Jill: Damn it! Not this again! Wesker: So you're safe? Jill: No, I died from inactivity! What do you think?
Wesker nodded. Wesker: I always knew you could have used more exercise. Anyway, can you go back to the mansion and try to find more useful stuff? I would do it myself, but I'm too damn lazy. Jill: Ok. Wesker: Great, I'll look around in this place appearing to be useful even though you have already searched the place.
Jill thought about telling Wesker about Forest and Richard's death, the shark, the plant, and Brad's call, but decided against it. Jill: (Thinking to herself) I should only tell him about the important stuff.
She had now just reentered the mansion when she heard weird noises, then the door behind her opened and in stepped a creature. Jill: Wow! A teenage mutant ninja turtle! Can I have your autograph?
The hunter looked at Jill then retreated. Jill: Damn! I lose more and more celebrities that way!
Jill made it to another locked door, but she forgot the key to open it. Jill: I know! I'll just knock annoyingly until the Author unlocks the door! Just like his brother!
Jill than began to bang on the door as loudly as possible and screaming "Let me in!" as annoyingly as possible. (Just like the Author's brother.) The Author then answers the door. Author: Fine! You're in! Now quit that!
Jill walked in confidently when the snake slithered out of the fireplace and tried to attack her. Jill ripped out her grenade launcher and fired all the rounds into the snake. The snake was still alive and Jill ran out of ammo for the grenade launcher. Jill: Oh what the hell! We already ripped off so many movies we might as well rip Harry Potter off.
Jill snapped her fingers and the red phoenix appeared with the sword that Harry used to kill the snake in his book. Jill the used the same strategy that Harry used too, but then she got bitten just when she delivered the final blow. Jill: Crap! Phoenix: I can't believe I have to do this!
The phoenix then cried and when the tears hit Jill, she magically healed. Jill: Good thing that nobody in or out of this game believes in logic!
Jill then noticed a hole in the floor and decided to investigate.
End of Chap Three Thank you for reading this. I know that this chapter isn't as funny as the
other two, but bear with me. See ya next time!
Preview of Chap Four Jill: Enrico! Are you bleeding? Enrico: No Jill, this is just cherry syrup!
Barry looked at the blood and liked his lips. Barry: Cherry syrup.
