Starlight cradled the edges of his face as he gazed out of the window. I yawned placidly and rubbed my eyes; my hand came away damp. "Allergies," I mumbled, not looking at him. "Happens every fall."

He nodded idly and rested his hand on his sword. I lay back and waited for sleep to wash over me again, but it wouldn't come. I was too keyed up. My heart pounded in my chest. I felt tingling at the tips of my fingers, spreading slowly through my hands. "Oh God..." It was coming. I tried to slow my breathing. I thought longingly of the powdered serenity of my little pills, but my room had been cleaned of them. There was nothing in the bathroom, either. I was on my own.

I tilted my head back and fought for breath. My heart was thudding in my ears as colors swam at the corners of my eyes. My hands spasmed open and shut. I flailed them to wave away the tingling. "Hang on...hang on..." I shook my hands again. I glared at him as he leaned tranquilly against the window frame. Why didn't he do something?

An eternity crept by. Gradually, my breathing eased. My fingers quivered and lay still. The tingling trickled slowly away. My heart quieted and I felt the tension lessen; it had passed.

And yet something remained. I frowned and probed the corners of my mind. It lingered there, teasing, just out of reach. I dove for it but it evaded me, skipping lightly away. I sighed and turned my thoughts elsewhere.

He was still looking out of the window. "Hope I didn't disturb you," I snapped. "You could have done something, you know."

"What would you suggest?"

"I dunno. But something. I mean, I thought I was going to die."

"You are still here."

"Yeah, but-"

"You have strength enough for the path you must take. It is hard, true, but taking the medicines would be harder."

"I've taken them before."

"Another use would be too much. You would pass into a sleep from which you would not awaken."

"So it's a little risky. I can live with that. I'm not afraid."

His eyes softened then and he laughed. "You believe that is courage? Not to fear death?" I turned away, piqued, but he continued. "Death is only an endless sleep, an eternity of peace. It takes greater courage to live. To see your fate and to confront it. To never give in."

"Cassie did."

"She knew there was a darkness within her that could destroy her, and she called for aid. Cassie did not give in; she rode out to meet it."

"Cassie left all of us and disappeared for a month - you call that 'not giving in?' We still don't know when she's coming back." I swallowed. If she was coming back. "Anyway, what would you know about facing fate? Didn't you spend...how many years wandering in the wilderness?"

"I returned when it was time. When I was needed."

"Yeah. Okay then." I waved at him to be quiet. An ache was pulsing in my temples. I didn't want to think about this anymore.

He ignored my gesture. "You are wounded?" He had noticed the angry pink gashes across my knuckles.

"It's nothing." I said. "Some trouble at school."

"Was she the cause of it?"

"What do you think?" I retorted. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the throbbing. The dappled pools were spreading again at the corners of my eyes. I shook my head but they spilled over and flooded into my sight. Beyond them, I saw a long hallway, and at the end an open door...

The sun had slanted into the golden strands of late afternoon, and the air was thick with autumn dust and the ash from distant wildfires. I slammed my locker shut and turned to go.

"Hey there, Alex." I turned my head. A girl stood behind me, skirt wrapped around her narrow hips, back propped against the lockers. Her smoky black eyes were watching me; so were those of her friends. "Whatcha up to?"

"None of your business." I shouldered my bag and headed for the door.

"Aww." She pushed her lips out in a fake pout, and her friends giggled. "You don't want to talk to me?"

"Look, don't you have somewhere to go? The mall, maybe? Or how about," I narrowed my eyes, "an SAT to study for?"

Her smile vanished. I knew it was a low blow, but I couldn't stop. "You know, most colleges would prefer it if seven hundred weren't your cumulative score."

She drew herself up and came toward me. "You got something to say, you better have something to back it up with," she hissed.

"Not interested. I might chip a nail." I turned my back to her and edged toward the door, but she wasn't about to let me escape.

"You want to start something, Alexandra Pine? Hey," she said suddenly, "anyone else feel an Al-Pine wind come through here?" Her friends giggled again.

"Clever. You come up with that all by yourself, or was it in that SAT study guide you never opened?" I snapped back.

"Chill out, Al-Pine." She grinned, pleased with herself. "Hey, where's your sister?"

I went cold. She smirked. She knew exactly where my sister was.

"You leave her out of this." I snarled. She raised an eyebrow and cocked her head.

"Oh no, I would hate to leave her out. After all, what's Al-Pine without her little Pine-" she paused, "-Nut?"

I dropped my bag and was on her before she could take a step. "You...bitch....you...take....that...back," I screamed. I drove my fist into her. She shrieked and writhed under me, but I twisted my hand into her hair. I pummeled her as her friends scattered and fled for the door. I just kept swinging and swinging.

I opened my eyes. "It took two teachers and the principal to pull us apart," I said. "She missed a day of class, too. She had to get stitches."

He shook his head. "There was no honor in such a fight. You should have let it go."

"She deserved it!" I hissed. I sat up furiously. "No one talks about my sister that way. Not while I'm around."

"There was no honor in it," he repeated. "Will it help Cassie to heal if you fight for her?"

"Yes!" He looked at me. "It will. It helps her." I stammered. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. That girl knew what she was getting into. She was trying to get me angry."

"That was your weapon, then? Your anger?" His hand lingered on the sword at his side, tracing the leather scabbard as he casually observed the gleaming hilt. "Your sword, in a manner of speaking. And," he glanced at me, his eyes penetrating mine, "perhaps, your shield as well?"

I scowled at him. What was he getting at? "I know how to fight." I said finally. "And I'll do it, too. I'll take on anything. Or anyone."

He gazed at me silently. Outside, the stars had swung upwards. The pungent scent of the desert night drifted through the open window. A lone coyote wailed hauntingly. Finally he spoke, his voice suddenly gentle:

"Alex, what is it that you fear so greatly?"