And so we come to the next chapter. As I speed along on my trusty steed *the lime-green scooter snorts at this* along the highways of central America, I send you this.
The Next Chapter.
The chapter that… won't really do anything, considering the others didn't either. Honestly, The plot run away. I think it left after my other muses to join them on their road trip. They're probably having tequilas in New Mexico, or recording some crap-shot album in L.A. Damn muses… So here goes. Chapter three.
Disclaimer: KH is not mine. Any items, products, stores, and such mentioned that belong to someone else do not belong to me. Yes? Good.
Flight of the Muses:
The Third in a series of Two and a Half
Where we introduce characters that should have been introduced before.
But had been forgotten.
And now remembered.
But not really.
Forgotten, that is.
Just misplaced.
Enjoy.
^_^
Somewhere in the depths of depth-I-ness, a boy wandered. He stopped. He wandered some more. He then pulled out an Ipod. He then proceeded to artistically describe his frustration at not being able to find a song he liked. Until he found one. Then, humming along to it, he set off.
To wander some more.
It was then that he realized he should introduce himself.
"Hi there. I'm Sora."
Unbeknownst to him, at the very same moment, some readers found themselves going "Hi. My names ______." While others found themselves thinking, Who's he talking to?
Of course, in a few seconds, it became all too clear just who he was talking to.
"RAAWRR RORRR RAWR RAROWROWOARRRR!!!"
Sora jumped back as three coal black demon-dog-from-hell heads tried to behead him.
Sora thought this was all because of the fact that the last time he saw the dog, he had whipped it into shape as if it were a pup.
Of course, any person who, watching from a (preferably safe) distance, could put two and two together, knew exactly why the dog did what he did.
He was jealous.
Here he had worked for years for Hades, guarding the gates and eating trespassers (who were more often than not smelled like fish from the river Styx and made his noses burn), and all he got to show for it were a few dog collars and a steak every other week.
And here was a kid, whose only job had been to save the worlds and defeat evil, and he got to have an Ipod.
How unfair.
So the dog raged.
"RRORORROWRORR RORRRR ROWWRRWRWRWRRR!"
"Whoah, Cerberus, I'm sorry, really. Look, I'll make it up to you. I'll get you a steak, how about it?" Sora tried his best to please the dog.
"RORORORWRWRWWOWRRRR!" Cerberus lunged so far the chains connecting him to his post squeaked in protest.
"Um." Sora stood there, listening to Our Lady Peace ask if he knew why Superman's Dead and wondering just why he was here.
It was a good question, and considering just what kind of fic this is, there probably was no answer. Of any kind.
So we move on.
In another section of the worlds, a lady in a pink dress was taking care of her flowers. She watered them, singing softly so that they'd grow nicely. After watering them she sat in her garden, closing her eyes and communing with nature.
Nature must not have liked her, because at that moment, a large ball of stone fell from the sky and flattened her into her beloved ground.
At the same moment an ethereal laugh penetrated the area.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!
A little boy, a few houses away, looked up at the sky in terror and called to his mom.
"Mommy! What is it I'm scaaaaaweeeddd!!" He sobbed, running to his mom and hiding his face.
"Don't worry Billy, that's the sound the author makes when she kills off someone she really, really hates!" Billy's mom said.
"Does she hate me?" Billy asked.
"No, honey, no one hates you." The mom said. And they lived happily ever after. With no scary pink lady to destroy their lives with her messages of peace and love.
Hehhehheh…Hahahaha….MuahahahahaaaaHAAAHAHAHAAHAAAA!!!
Erhm… yeah, moving on.
(this chapter sucks. SHUT UP! no. make me. I will, you little…! *notices readers* um, you wonderful great person! GET OUT OF HERE! *whimper*)
So now, on a tropical island, a girl finds herself looking out over the ocean and sighing. Suddenly, from a far off distance, there is a shriek. And then something lands next to her on the sand.
"Ick! That tastes baaaaad…"
She turns to see…
"Skiz! Where did you go?! AND WHY IS THIS ON MY FACE?!?!?!" Sephy accidentally plows into the girl, trips over her, all the while trying to pry a giant starfish off his face. Cartoon style.
"Ow!" The girl exclaims, rolls away as Sephy thrashes around, trying to keep more starfish from attacking him. Why they were attacking him, no one knows.
"Ha! That's funny! The starfish loooooves you!" Skiz says, laughing so hard he rolls onto his back.
"Okay, who are you people?" The girl asks, staring scaredly at Sephy, and then again at Skiz, who was now trying to chew on his tail.
"Damn sand…" He mutters, bites himself on the tail, and yowls loudly.
"Are you okay?!" The girl exclaims.
"I hurt myself…" The cat boy whimpers.
"Okay now, where are we?" Sephy sits up, finally getting the starfish free of his face. "This doesn't look like Albuquerque."
"You're on… Destiny Island." The girl stands up. "But I still don't know who you are."
"I'm Skiz." Skiz jumps to his feet, shaking sand out of his ears.
"I'm Sephiroth." Sephy stands up, but then Skiz pounces him.
"You LIIIIEEEE!!!" He hisses, then sits on the fallen Sephy and looks at the girl. "His name's Sephy. And he has a plastic sword."
"Its not plastic." Sephy screeches, although it's a little muffled since Skiz's tail is wrapped around his face.
"I'm Kairi. And I'm leaving now." The girl turns around, starts walking, then breaks into a run and leaves the two in the sand.
"Now look what you've done." Skiz says sadly.
"Grrrr…" Sephy says into his tail.
And the sun set brilliantly.
But they didn't see it because they were facing the wrong way.
"Sephy, it got dark."
"shut up…'
Somewhere far away, on the crossroads between boredom and invigorating lively dances, stood a little house.
In this little house, lived a man.
Man: Yo.
A man who DID NOT say 'Yo'.
Man: Dammit.
This man had a hobby.
Man: I did?
You do.
Man: Really…
This hobby involved chasing after long-dead girls while ignoring still-living ones were willing to give everything up for him.
Man: Hmm… I wonder where that long-dead girl is?
Dead. She's in dead land.
Man: You sure?
Yes. Very sure.
Man: Damn.
As you can probably tell, dear reader-
Man: There's a reader?
Yes. There might be more than one, even.
Man: Where?!
… Everywhere.
Man: I don't want readers!
Does it look like I care?
Man: MAKE THE READERS LEAVE!
Boy, are you acting out of character…
Man: Does it look like I care?!
Okayyy…
Man: Listen, you, make them leave!
You dare to yell at the omnipotent voice?!
Man: You're just the author…
And so the man ended up being locked away in his house until the time the author decided to use him again.
And now, dear reader, I can finish my earlier thought. As you can probably tell, this has been a little time wasting part of the story. As if the rest of it isn't.
Right.
Onward.
It was high tide for the first time in a century… and Hollow Bastion… was flooding. Strange.
"Can someone pleeease fix that leak?" Leon, the-fighter-formerly-known-as-Squall, said, as water trickled onto the top of his head from the hole in the library roof.
Of course, Hollow Bastion can only flood from the top, since the water flows UP. Right? Right, okay.
"Sure, Leon." Yuffie sighed, and with a few small shuriken she managed to attach a board to the hole in the ceiling. "Wow. It worked."
Leon just stared moodily at the opposite wall.
Now, many were thinking, why didn't Leon just move. The reason is, you see, because he couldn't.
Oh, you want to know just why he couldn't? All right then… He couldn't because his legs were glued together by the juice of a small and overly ripe Rare Truffle that he'd accidentally stepped on.
"So, does anyone know just how to unstuck Leon?" Yuffie asked those gathered around her.
"Come on, do we look like we read all the time?" Grumpy answered, and the rest of the dwarves nodded. Dopey was holding his book upside down.
Yuffie sighed. She really appreciated Snow White's help, but she would have preferred if the princess helped directly.
Just then, something happened.
"What just happened?" Leon found himself exclaiming.
No one answered.
"Guys?" Leon tried to look around, but saw no one.
"I wonder what happened?" Leon mused aloud.
You're not alone, Leon. You're not alone. But we'll all have to wait until the next not quite so exciting installment of the series (if there is one) to find out just want happened, why it happened, and why it wasn't covered cream cheese and ketchup. Ick.
Ahh yes, The end to another wonderful chapter. Lalalalaaa…
Oh, yes, the Thank Yous.
Thanks to:
Ari Powwel: (this is way overdue) Thank you! And death to the evil and badly written Mary Sues! MUAHAHAHAAA! *trips over tiki torch* Er… don't ask…
Siyengo: the Next chapter. Only half the muses. Sake will be back. And… I dunno. Thank you though, for your continued reading. Makes me feel special to have returning reviewers. *beams*
Laughing Astarael: Thankies! I'm trying not to copy people. If I do, hit me in the head and I'll fix it. And, by the way, I really really like your name. It so nifty!
Oh, and sorry about the no Riku-ness. He'll be back. I promise.
Hopefully. *gets stoned*
I mean, definitely. I'd never leave my fave char out. Not for long…
Until next time, this is Zoshi. Signing out from an in-door café in the middle of Albuquerque. (they were so close!! Muahahahahahahahaaaa!)
