"Leave me alone." I turned away and lay down, folding my arms across my chest. My temples were throbbing, and my shoulders were cramped with the weariness of the long night. I closed my eyes. Why wouldn't he go away?

The prickling thought in the corner of my mind also irked me. It taunted me by bubbling close to the surface, then dissipating before I could grasp it. I lay quietly and tried to coax it out. At least I could focus on something besides him.

I waited, conscious of it edging out again. It was there just beyond my reach. Now a bit was visible, a little more....

My eyes flew open. I lay still for a moment and glanced at him. He hadn't noticed. Slowly I spread my fingers where they lay against the bed. My eyes flicked back to the shadowy form near the wall. His head was lowered; he was fingering the stone in his ring. I slunk my hand outward, creeping toward the corner of the mattress. My breath was spring-loaded in my chest. I could almost reach them.

"Lie still."

I stopped. My hand lay rigid against the sheet. "I'm just stretching."

"Do not touch them."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I inched my hand up past my face and groped toward the back of the mattress. I was almost there. I could feel them, like two little pearls under the cloth. They were nearly in my grasp. I tugged on the fitted sheet.

"You must not do this. If you take them-"

"I'll be fine. I can handle it." I wrenched the sheet loose and found the slit I had made in the mattress weeks earlier. I pried it open and sighed faintly. They were here. My parents hadn't found them. My breath caught again as my fingers closed around them. I pulled them out.

Suddenly he lunged. I froze. He crouched at the head of the bed, my wrist ensnared in his fingers. I knew he could break it if he wished. I clenched my fist tighter and steadied my voice. "Let go."

"Alex, she will come back. She is safe now in a house of healing, and she is neither the first nor the last to be there. The healers there have great skill; one day, she will return to you."

"You don't know that."

"Neither do you know that she will remain there. Do not abandon hope so easily."

I paused. "Fine. So she'll come back. Let me use these to get through the night and I'll stop when Cassie comes home."

"I cannot."

"Why?"

"Because in your heart you know it matters little when she returns. That is not where your fear lies."

"That's not true." I twisted away from him.

He wouldn't let go. I pressed my other hand over my ear, but his voice still breezed through my fingers: "I know you believe the darkness within her will grow too strong and defeat her. You fear that if she faces it in the house of healing, she will lose. But what is more- "

"Shut up."

"You fear the same fate for yourself."

"Shut up!" I yanked my hand again and tried to pull away.

I couldn't move; he was too strong. His breath gusted across my face. I couldn't block him out. His words ripped through me like a katabatic wind: "You know the same blood runs in your veins, the same weakness."

"Stop it."

"You fear that one day you may face the darkness as well..."

"No."

"...and that you will fall to it."

"That's not true!" I spat. "I'm not worried. I'm strong enough to take it. Maybe Cassie couldn't handle it, but I can."

"Without your medicines?"

I was silent. The night air hung thickly around us. "Let me have them," I said finally. "Just for tonight."

He sighed. His voice eased: "It is a paper shield, Alex. They will not protect you. Let them go."

I mashed my hand into my ear. The heat was rising in my eyes. My throat was closing. "I...can't..."

"Let them go. If it is fated that the darkness should come to you, then it will come-"

"I...need...them..."

"-but you must face it with your own strength. The medicines cannot help you."

The tightness was strangling me; I fought for breath. I pulled against him. "Just this once...please..."

"Let go, Alex. You have no further need of them."

His hold was firm. I squeezed my hand and felt the little pills burrow into it. Tears were cresting in my eyes. I pushed my head into the pillow and flung an arm over my burning face. "Go...away," I choked, "Leave...me...alone."

My voice was faint; his fingers still clasped my fist. I pulled again. He held on. My shoulders jerked as I smothered my broken sobs in the pillow. I clutched the pills tighter. He stood there as I stubbornly clenched my fist, refusing to let go, crushing the pills into a useless powder.