Chapter 7: "You know all I am"

This chapter kinda gets back into the teens hanging out and trying to get their lives back to normal. It is a little heavy at first but ends with good ol' OC goodness! Enjoy.

~ Haley

"You mean you're?"

Marissa just looked away from Ryan tears welling up in her eyes. There was a long silence between them.

"Look Ryan I just really need to get my stuff and go bec-"

"Where do you think that you are going to go Marissa?" Ryan said stepping closer to her "You are going to have a baby Marissa. I am not going to let you live out on the streets. Trust me, I've been there. I will be there for you and this baby."

"You can't Ryan! It's not fair-"

"You know what Marissa? Love is not fair. But I love you and would do anything for you. I would do anything for this baby, . your baby. It can be ours."

"Ryan think rationally! It's not yours! It is not your problem!"

"I am willing to be the father Marissa. I don't want that baby to not have a father. I love you Marissa and everything that comes along with you including this baby."

"Really?" Marissa asked stepping closer to Ryan.

"Really." Ryan shared.

And right there for the first time they shared a kiss.

The next morning Seth found Ryan and Marissa curled up on the bed together. He shook the couple awake.

"Marissa, Ryan."

The turned over yawning and rubbing their eyes.

"Mornin' love birds."

"Seth." Marissa said squinting as she sat up, with Ryan following rubbing the small of her back.

"Hey Seth."

"So how goes it with you guys?" Seth said putting his hands on his hips raising his eyebrows

"Well-" Ryan began but Marissa flew to the bathroom.

Seth followed them to see Ryan holding Marissas hair and rubbing her back as she emptied her stomach.

"We're going to have a baby." Ryan said simply.

Seth was taken back by the use of the "we're".

"What do you mean "we're"?" Seth asked

"Marissa and I are having a baby." Ryan said again

"Congratulations guys." Seth said. "Um, Ryan man can I talk to you for a minute."

"Yeah." Ryan said as he helped Marissa up. "I'll be right back." He told her as she nodded.

Seth and Ryan went outside of the pool house.

"Are you crazy? You're 17! You don't need a baby, especially if it is not yours!"

"Seth. I need to do this. Marissa cannot handle it alone. Trust me I know what I'm doing."

"Just as long as you're sure." Seth said holding out his hand

"I'm sure." Ryan said holding out his hand as they gave each other a masculine hug

"You know that you have to tell mom and dad right?" Seth said stepping back from Ryan

"Yeah I know."

That night Ryan and Seth were to go on a rock-climbing trip with Sandy. Ryan didn't want to go, but with much reassurance from Seth and Marissa, and the promise from Dylan that she would come and spend the night with Marissa Ryan finally went, still a little uneasy.

Marissa sat alone on the bed that night waiting for Dylan who was going to be there in about an hour.

She was trying to get through the first chapter of "what to expect when you're expecting", that Ryan insisted she read while he was gone.

Kirsten knocked on the door, and then let herself in.

"Hey honey." She said entering the room.

"Hi." Marissa said sitting the book behind her.

"What are you reading?"

"Oh just stuff for school ya know." Marissa said quickly "So."

"Have you spoken with your father?"

"I don't know where they took him." Marissa said

"Well I am sure that Sandy will help him."

Marissa just sat saying nothing.

"Honey I know that all of this must be hard for you." She said scooting closer to Marissa

Marissa just picked at her fingernails. How long had it been since she had a manicure?

"Has Ryan been treating you well?"

"Of course." Marissa said quickly

"So let me see that book. I am really good at English."

"No it's fi-"

But before Marissa could finish, Kirsten was holding her book. She looked at what she held in her hands in shock.

"Oh Marissa."

Marissa opened her mouth to say something, . anything, but nothing came out.

"Is it Ryans?"

Marissa broke down in tears and confessed the whole story. It was a weird situation for Marissa. Never before had she been held in a grown womans arms. Her mother had never held her, . comforted her. Marissa felt a wave of emotions roll over her.

"Please. You cannot tell anyone about any of this."

"But Luke is the father of this baby Marissa."

"He raped me. It doesn't matter. He will not be there for me or the baby."

"And Ryan will?"

"You have to trust him. I love him, and he loves me. Please this is just too much to deal with. Nobody can know that he is not the father of this child. It would wreck me."

Kirsten saw the desperation in Marissas eyes.

"I can't promise you anything." She said holding her head in her hands. "But I can promise you that something has to change. Marissa you are 17 pregnant and anorexic! Do you know how dangerous your condition is to your baby?"

Marissa didn't speak.

"Honey I had Seth when I was young. I know how hard it is. But having a baby on top of all of the things that you already have going on? Are you sure that you can do it?"

"I have to." Marissa said

"Well then you have to get better, for the baby."

"I am better. I'm fine. I eat, just not as much as everyone else."

"You know that you are lying to me Marissa. I could turn you into an institution, but it will not be pretty Marissa. I know for a fact, they will not let you keep your baby. So please, lets do this the easy way."

"What is the easy way?" She asked biting her nails

"You stop cutting your arms your legs, EVERYTHING, and you go to school for as long as you can, and you start eating. No more drinking yourself unconscious. Can you do that?"

". I. I will try..."

"Good, now come on."

"Where are we going?"

"You're going to get something to eat."

The next day Sandy, Seth, and Ryan returned from the climb.

They saw Marissa sitting at the table looking nauseous.

"You have to keep it down." Kirsten was saying as coached the girl on

Ryan noticed a turkey sandwich sitting in front of Marissa and about two bites taken out of it.

"I feel sick." Marissa said slamming her head on the table.

Neither of them noticed the guys slip in.

"Marissa, you know that you need to." Kirsten coached the girl on

"I don-"

"What is going on?" Sandy asked from the doorway.

The men looked at the scene in the kitchen in confusion. Marissa took that opportunity to flee the table.

Ryan almost took off after her. Kirsten grabbed his arm.

"She will be okay. Dylan is out there, she will take care of her. I need to talk to you." Kirsten informed the worried teen.

Ryan nodded jaw ajar.

Seth had picked up on what was going on awhile ago and took this as his time to exit.

"Sandy, can you excuse us?"

"What is going on Kirsten?" He demanded

"I will tell you later? Can you give Ryan and I a moment PLEASE?" She said.

Sandy leaned on the counter, but after a second of seeing that she was not going to give in he headed upstairs after Seth to see what information that he could get out of him.

Kirsten sat on the seat across from Ryan with a cup of coffee as they talked.

"I guess you figured out that I know."

"I don't know what you are talking about." Ryan tried to lie

"Ryan do not lie to me. I know about Marissa being pregnant by Luke."

"Please! You cannot tell anyon-"

"Do not worry. I won't. I promise. But Ryan, you said you are taking responsibility of this baby. Do you know how much baggage Marissa has, let alone when you add a baby into the equation."

"I know this already. But I love Marissa in a way that I have never loved anyone else before. I know that this is the right decision." He said all in one breath

"Alright. Then there are some things that we need to talk about."

"Alright." Ryan said leaning back in his chair.

"Don't slouch Ryan."

He sat up straight as Kirsten continued,

"We have to make sure that Marissa takes care of herself now. She has to eat. She has to stop drinking and she has to stop hurting herself."

"I am trying everything that I can to help her."

"Alright. Well I made a doctors appointment for her. Sandy can drop you guys off there Monday after you get out of school. Alright?"

Ryan nodded.

Ryan entered the pool house to see Marissa sitting on the bed.

"What are you doing?" Ryan asked her

Marissa shrugged

"What do you think about going sailing. It is still early."

"I don't really feel like it Ryan."

"Come on Marissa, you have got to get out of here. Fresh air would be good for you." He pleaded with her sitting next to her on the bed.

"I really don't feel like it Ryan."

"Well do you know what?"

"What?" Marissa asked looking him in the eyes frowing

"You don't have a choice." He said pulling her small frame off of the bed as if it were as light as air.

3 hours later Seth, Ryan, Dylan, and Marissa we on the boat. Marissa was less than thrilled.

"So why is the boat named Summer Breeze anyway Cohen?" Dylan asked

"Um- well-"

Ryan laughed

"He likes Summer." He said

Dylan nodded

"I'm kinda partial to Fall." She said not understanding, which caused Ryan to laugh again.

Seth steered the boat, while Dylan watched him with silent, unnoticed admiration, and Marissa looked off into the water looking as though her mind were blank. Ryan sat watching Marissa, prepared to jump in after her in the event that she decided to take a deadly dip in the Pacific.