It was still dark when I awoke, but the stars were drowning in the diffuse glow hovering over the horizon. I twisted my head around and looked at the clock. The green lines flashed back at me: 5:37 A.M.

I rubbed my sticky eyes and sat up. My stomach reeled as colored splashes flickered in my sight. I paused and waited for the dizziness to clear. The night was still thick but the faint light trickling in the window embraced the rough silhouettes of the furniture. I stood up and fumbled my way over to the dresser, pulling out some jeans and a shirt. I didn't plan on leaving in my pajamas.

I dumped the pile of clothes on the bed and went to the window. Outside, the stars had faded and the horizon was beginning to blush. The wind gamboled among the dry autumn leaves. I closed the window and pulled the curtains shut, then turned toward the bed and started to lift my nightshirt.

An embarrassed cough sounded behind me.

I yanked the shirt back down and shot him a furious glare. He was leaning against the bookshelf staring intently at a speck on the floor. "Oh. I didn't see you. Would you mind, um, turning around?" I asked.

He nodded assent and shifted around. I glared at him again and crawled back into bed. Once under the comforter I wriggled out of my pajamas. I flicked my eyes cautiously in his direction, but he hadn't moved. Holding the blanket against my chest I reached for my jeans and shirt. As I grunted and squirmed into my clothes he stared fixedly at the nail holes in the drywall.

"Okay, I'm done." I pulled the curtains aside and opened the window again. An orange rim swelled just over the horizon. The air brushed my cheek like a warm breath. "Looks like it'll be a clear day," I muttered. "Not that I'll enjoy it much."

"Take heart," he said. "This will not last. In the end, you will find your real strength."

"Yeah, I know. It's just...it's going to be hard. Doing this on my own, I mean."

He grinned enigmatically. "I do not believe you will have to."

I glanced at him and nodded, strangely comforted. So he was going to stay; I wouldn't have to do this alone. I managed a wan smile.

The latch clicked loudly as the door opened. "Alex? You ready yet?"

I spun around. My father was watching me, fingering his gold wedding ring nervously with his right hand. I locked eyes with him and prayed fervently that shadows still cloaked my room. "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute," I said quickly. "Just give me a sec."

"Okay. We'll be downstairs waiting for you." The door clicked shut as my father left.

I turned back. "I don't think he noticed-" I began, then froze. The room was empty.

"Hello?" I surveyed the room. "Are you there?" The corner held only shadows, as slack as broken cobwebs. A bubble of panic rose in my throat. I tore through the room. Pushing the dresser aside I peered into the depths behind it. I even prodded under the bed. I stared blankly at the poster on the wall; his indifferent expression gazed back at me. I was alone.

"No...wait...you can't leave..." I stammered. Silence choked the predawn darkness. I slumped on the bed and cradled my head in my hands, rocking back and forth. The weight against my palms was comforting. "You said I wouldn't be alone," I whispered. "You said I wouldn't have to do this on my own."

Worse than the desertion was the unspoken fear pattering through my head - had he even been here at all? Was any of it real? I traced a faint circle around my wrist and looked at the pale powder still clinging to my palm. I could have crushed them in my sleep, I realized. I could have imagined everything. Mere delusions of my pill-deprived mind. My stomach sank as I buried my face in my hands again.

My mother's voice broke through to me from downstairs. "Alex? Are you ready to go? We're waiting, honey."

"Coming!" I yelled. "You'd think they could wait a little longer," I mumbled bitterly.

Suddenly I shot up. A watery comprehension trickled over me. I glanced at the door. "You're right," I whispered. "I'm not alone. My parents are with me." A smile tiptoed stealthily across my face. And someday, I thought, Cassie will be with me too.

I rose slowly and tucked my hands into my pockets. Through the open window the first fingers of sunlight were inching up over the dark earth. The wind slipped inside and puffed gently at my hair. I sighed. It was still early. It was still only the beginning.

Author's Note: Thank you everyone for your helpful comments on this story! If you liked it, check out The Back Room by Carmen Martin Gaite and I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb. Both of their works influenced this story. Although I did enjoy writing it I'm glad it's over so I can move on to something else. Please let me know what you think of this last chapter, and of the story in general! It will help me to write better next time.