Disclaimer: I don't own any thing in this fanfic except the Subterranean Marshmallow Pixies (myahahahaha! I am Monosome, Queen of the Subterranean Marshmallow Pixies, Ph34r 3!). And I think chi-energy is from the game Golden Sun and Golden Sun: the Lost Age for the GBA (actually they refer to it as 'Psynergy', but it's basically the same thing. =/)
Author's Note: Since Duo is going to be narrating the next few chapters, I'm just going to leave out the quotations from his dialog, because he is the one telling the story.
P.S. Thanks to every one who reviewed!
Warning: This chapter is 'stranger' than the last one, proceed with caution. (I think the chapter title is pretty self-explanatory)
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Chapter two: 'Pretty Sailor Soldier Dallet'
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The dragon slayers now had the power of the Magic Beans on their side, but there was still one problem, they were imprisoned in...umm a prison-ish-like cell that just happened to be inconveniently located at the heart of the Mary Sue Empire. And to make matters worse, Dilandau had made no effort to pay their ransom.
"We've been abandoned! Dilandau-sama doesn't love us anymore." Chesta sobbed.
"Well, since we have these Magic Beans with us, we should find out how they work and use them to escape." Miguel said, examining a small lima bean that was emitting a soft bluish glow.
Gatti ran up to where the other two dragon slayers were standing. "Hey you guys guess what!" The excited boy jumped up and down happily, "Dallet found out how to make the Magic Bean of Air work!"
Chesta and Miguel ran up to Dallet, buzzing with questions.
"Where's Guimel?" Dallet inquired, completely ignoring their questions. There was no point in showing off his 'm4d 5k1llz' if he didn't have a large audience.
"That Sheep-boy got voted off the island." Miguel replied nonchalantly.
Gatti chided Miguel angrily, "hey that's so mean! You shouldn't call him that! Just because his hairstyle is 'different' doesn't give you the right to make fun of him."
Dallet and Miguel just rolled their eyes at Gatti, wondering why anyone would want to defend that weird-looking boy.
Chesta interrupted the three of them in a desperate attempt to change the subject, "Dallet! Show us how the Magic Bean works!"
Dallet held up a lima bean with a grayish glow similar to that of the other magic lima beans. He yelled at the top of his voice, "Slayer Star Power, Make Up!" (Most people are probably familiar with the disturbing way the Sailor Starlights transform, or at least the way the Sailor Scouts transform. I doubt anyone really wants to hear the details.)
After going through the classic Sailor Moon style transformation with the cheesy music and all the little girly hearts and stuff in the background, Dallet (a.k.a. Sailor Star Slayer, yes he's turned into a girl now) was clad in a uniform similar to that of the Sailor Starlights, her luscious brown hair was cascading down her back (uber-gay Mary Sue Style) in one thousand three hundred twenty-six and a half tiny but perfectly woven braids.
"Why is Dallet dressed like a woman? Is he gay or someth-" Miguel started unhappily, only to be interrupted by Chesta...again.
"Awwwwwwwww how cute!" Chesta squealed, "she looks exactly like one of the Sailor Starlights!"
"Maybe you could use your new Sailor Moon powers to get us out of here." Miguel suggested, still not very pleased with the fact that one of his fellow dragon slayers was a cross dresser (crossplayer to be more precise).
Sailor Star Slayer required no further encouragement to show off her new '5k1llz'. First she put her arms together, like Goku from DBZ when he uses the Kamehameha attack. Then after focusing her chi-energy, she called out, "Star Disgruntled Guymelef!" A laser beam shot out of her hands and blasted into the wall of the prison-ish-like cell, leaving only a gaping hole.
The other three dragon slayers just stood there in awe.
"H-how did you do that?!" Chesta finally managed to squeak.
"The Subterranean Marshmallow Pixies taught me last night." Sailor Star Slayer bragged in a voice that was even more disturbingly feminine than it was in the English dubbed version of the Escaflowne anime series.
"Submerging Marshmallow Pixies?" Miguel stared at Sailor Star Slayer in disbelief.
"It's Subterranean Marshmallow Pixies." Gatti corrected, because he always corrects people (even Dilandau), "they've been helping me focus my chi-energy too."
Miguel rolled his eyes, "whatever, let's just get out of here while we still have the chance." It was obvious to Miguel that the others were going crazy, it had to happen sooner or later. 'There are no such things as Subterranean Marshmallow Pixies' Miguel thought to himself, 'its just some stupid urban legend that lame old people tell to scare disobedient children when they refuse to eat broccoli.'
Without any further delay the four dragon slayers escaped through the hole in the prison-like cell's wall and searched frantically for an exit.
"How impossible! This place is like a maze." Chesta sighed miserably, it seemed to the other dragon slayers that any second now he was going to burst into tears (because that's what ukes do).
"umm...if you haven't noticed, this place is a maze. Just remember: 'All mazes have some sort of an exit'." Gatti corrected Chesta as kindly as humanly possible in an effort to prevent the small boy from crying.
Miguel sat down on the floor and tried to come up with a solution to their dilemma, "hmmm." He reflected thoughtfully, "if only there was a way we could find the exit."
"Let's split up gang!" Sailor Star Slayer suddenly declared, "Miguel and Chesta, you two go that way." She pointed to a path leading toward the left. "And Gatti and I will go this way." She pointed enthusiastically to a path leading toward the right.
"No way!" Miguel protested, "you just want to be alone with Gatti!" Miguel started mocking Sailor Star Slayer by making 'obnoxious girly kissy noises'.
"Are you obsessed with shounen-ai or something? I'm NOT gay and I'm NOT a cross dresser, I AM A WOMAN! I even have boobs!" Sailor Star Slayer was very annoyed with the fact that for some reason, Miguel just didn't seem to understand the fact that when she transformed into Sailor Star Slayer, she became a woman.
"It's ok, I'll just go with Chesta." Gatti volunteered benignly. The last thing he wanted to do was get involved with an argument between Miguel and Sailor Star Slayer.
"Well, now that we have that settled, let's go!" Miguel set off down the left path at a brisk pace pulling an unhappy Sailor Star Slayer along by the sailor scarf of her outfit, leaving Chesta and Gatti far behind them before Sailor Star Slayer had time for any further argument. It was obvious that all of the yelling was making Gatti uncomfortable. It would be a very bad thing if Gatti became upset, because there was no telling what type of destruction the uke could unleash upon the group with his chi-energy.
The two dragon slayers had been walking for quite a while when they finally decided to slow down. Miguel was the first one to break the angry silence that had formed between the two Zaibach soldiers, "Dallet, why can't I use chi-energy like you?" He asked, finally deciding to drop the subject of Dallet's gender identity 'issue'.
Sailor Star Slayer thought a while and then replied, "You could probably use chi-energy if you trained hard enough. I guess it's just a lot easier for me to use because I've had it ever since I was four years old."
Miguel was surprised by Sailor Star Slayer's reply, "how did you learn these 'm4d 5k1llz' at such a young age?"
Sailor Star Slayer sighed, "it all happened a long time ago, eleven years to be precise. I can still remember that day like it was yesterday..." Everything around them started morphing into black and white as Sailor Star Slayer prepared to convey a seemingly irrelevant flashback. However, it just so happened that her little story contained information that would be crucial to future plot development, "I was walking by myself through the forest, when I noticed a small golden colored ferret with it's tail caught in a bear-trap. I felt sorry for the poor little ferret, so I freed it from the trap."
"What happened next?" Miguel looked at Sailor Star Slayer nervously.
Sailor Star Slayer whined disappointedly, "To be continued." He stared crying.
"Don't worry." Miguel tried to console Sailor Star Slayer, "it was going to happen sooner or later. Lets just hope the new chapter is posted sometime within the next century."
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Author's Note: Again, please don't flame me. I know my fanfic is 't3h suxx0rz'. I would appreciate constructive criticism though.
