Disclaimer: I don't own any thing in this fanfic except the mini-game Guess Who's On the Stairs. (Actually, I think my little brother invented it while playing that one part of Final Fantasy 7 where you have to run up like 60 flights of stairs to get into the Shinra building.)

Warning: I will start to make fun of Mary Sues in this chapter. If you like Mary Sues or are a writer of Mary Sue fan fiction: you may be offended. Consider yourself warned you evil Sue-lovers. (random Kenshin bashing too for some strange reason)

Author's Note: I'm not really Monosome, Queen of the Subterranean Marshmallow Pixies. I was only joking. The real Pixie Queen will be revealed in a later chapter (maybe not even in this fanfic 0.o).

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Chapter three: 'No Need for Mary Sue'

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Sailor Star Slayer continued with her story from the last chapter, "Once the golden colored ferret was freed, it magically transformed into a strange clown with spiky hair covering one eye. Normally, I would have ran away, because I have this terrible phobia of clowns, but something about this clown was different...it was like I could sense that he had some sort of special power. The clown spoke in an ancient dialect that was quite difficult to understand at first. The clown said, 'h4n j00 f0r fr331g 3, cH1d. 3y3 5h4 gr4j00 3h p04h 0f 3h 334. 53 1 153ly.' (Translation: Thank you freeing me, child. I shall grant you the power of The Bean. Use it wisely.) The clown then handed me the Bean of Wind." Dallet held the bean in her hand carefully.

Miguel took The Bean of Water out of his pocket and examined it as Sailor Star Slayer continued her story. "I looked at the bean a bit, then noticed the clown had vanished before I had a chance to thank him. Somehow I could sense his name was Trowa (for the sake of random exposition), maybe it was because of the power of the bean...or my own chi-energy...life is weird like that sometimes. I put the bean in my pocket and continued to wander aimlessly through the forest while thinking about my bizarre encounter with the clown. I walked for a while and then stopped when I heard a strange gargling noise coming from the bushes. It sounded like someone or something was screaming for its 'preciousssss'. I carefully peered through the bushes and saw a Mary Sue! In fact, it was uglier than any Mary Sue I've ever seen in the entire LOTR and Harry Potter fandom combined. The Mary Sue said that I had stolen her 'preciousssss', so she challenged me to a game of Guess Who's On the Stairs."

"Guess Who's On the Stairs...?" Miguel raised his eyebrow slightly and looked at Sailor Star Slayer skeptically.

Sailor Star Slayer explained the rules of the mini-game to Miguel, "The way you play is: the first person thinks of the name of an anime character and that character is on the 'stairs'. The second person has to guess the name of the character. The person guessing also gets to ask four 'yes or no' questions to help them guess the name, if the answer to the 'yes or no' question is 'no', the person thinking of the name will tell the other person the correct answer. There is no limit to the number of names the person can guess and the game is over when the person guesses the name or if they give up."

"Who won?" Miguel asked.

Sailor Star Slayer started explaining, "Well...we had a draw, so the Mary Sue tried to glomp me..."

"And then...?"

"At that exact moment I turned into a girl for some reason..." Sailor Star Slayer started to blush uncomfortably, "the Mary Sue accidentally groped my chest…I became so angry, I was able to use my [limit break] (FFVII w00t) to summon an inter-dimensional hammer. With the hammer, I was able to KO the Mary Sue and send her flying over the horizon."

"Was there a little spark of light with a little 'ding' noise when the Mary Sue was 1-hit KOed, like in Super Smash Bros. Melee?" Miguel asked in wonder.

Dallet replied with an affirmative as Miguel stared at her, completely in awe of Sailor Star Slayer's 'm4d Sue-bashing 5ki11z'.

They started talking about Sue-bashing for a while, but soon they ran out of subjects to talk about. The two dragon slayers walked in silence until Miguel yawned tiredly, "Hey Dallet, how 'bout we play Guess Who's On the Stairs to pass the time?"

"Sure, who should go first?" Sailor Star Slayer asked.

"You can start, since I don't know the rules very well." Miguel said.

"Hmm...let me think of one first...." Sailor Star Slayer thought for a while, "okay, guess who's on the stairs."

(Everything started to warp into [mini-game mode] -.-;;; ph34r m3h l4zy-n355)

Miguel: "Dilandau-sama?"

Sailor Star Slayer: "Nope"

Miguel: "Misty from Pokemon?"

Sailor Star Slayer: "Nope"

Miguel: "Is there a boy on the stairs?"

Sailor Star Slayer: "Yes (you have three 'yes or no' questions left)." Dallet answered.

Miguel: "Goku from Dragon Ball Z?"

Sailor Star Slayer: "Uh-uh"

Miguel: "Shippou from Inu Yasha?"

Sailor Star Slayer: "Nope"

Miguel: "Is the boy on the stairs from an anime made by Hayao Miyazaki?"

Sailor Star Slayer: "No, the anime was made by Clamp (you have two 'yes or no' questions left)."

Miguel: "Lee from Cardcaptor Sakura?"

Sailor Star Slayer: "Nope"

Miguel: "Zagato from Magic Knights Rayearth?"

Sailor Star Slayer: shakes head

Miguel: "Is the boy on the stairs from a PG rated anime?"

Sailor Star Slayer: "No, the anime is rated PG-13/R (you have one 'yes or no' question left)."

Miguel: "Hmm...Is the boy from Chobits?"

Sailor Star Slayer: "No, he is from X/1999 (you have zero 'yes or no' questions left).

Miguel: "Fuuma?"

Sailor Star Slayer: "Nope"

Miguel: "Is it Kamui?"

"Yay! You guessed it! Kamui is on the stairs." Sailor Star Slayer cheered, relieved that the mini-game had ended.

Miguel sighed, "that game is s lot more difficult than it seems."

"Do you want to play again?" Sailor Star Slayer asked.

Miguel was getting tired of mini-games, "Nah, I wonder if Gatti and Chesta are having any more luck with finding their way through this maze. For some reason it seems like we've been walking around in circles for the past few hours…"

--(Scene transition w00t!)--

Gatti and Chesta had been walking around the maze for a while having about as much luck as Sailor Star Slayer and Miguel (go figure =/), until Gatti came up with a really good idea, "Once in this one episode of Card Captor Sakura, they were trapped in a maze created by the Maze Card. In order to find their way out of the maze, Sakura had to place her right hand on the wall of the maze and continued following the path until she and Tomoyo eventually found their way out of the maze…or something like that, I haven't seen that episode in a while."

"Yay! You're so smart!" Chesta squealed happily, thankful that they would be able to find their way out of the maze before the Imperial Mary Sue Guards of Doom caught them, even though he had no clue what Gatti was talking about.

The two Dragon Slayers walked through the maze until they found what seemed like a clearing of trees (just pretend they were in a hedge maze or something o.0) They were about to sit down and rest, but they were startled by a crazy old man who jumped out of the bushes screaming incoherently, "thems child'erns! Thems child'erns!" The old man cried.

Chesta looked at the man worriedly, "Sir, is something wrong?"

The old man yelled in a panicked voice, "Aye, He did ate thems child'erns, He did!"

"Huh? Don't you mean children?" Gatti asked the old man.

"No, no…nooo thems child'ernsssses…." The old man whispered as if something terrible might overhear him if he spoke too loud.

"What are you talking about, sir?" Chesta looked slightly confused.

"HE did ate thems child'erns, glooming in the dark, they WAS!" The old man's voice cracked as it rose to a shrill pitch.

Just then a bright orange parrot named Kenshin swooped down on the old man squawking, "Brrraaak! He's drunk, that he is! Too much booze, that he did! Pay him no mind! Brrraaaak!" The bird named Kenshin then flew off into the night sky and cackled as the two Dragon Slayers ran screaming into a nearby shrubbery to avoid the bombardment of gooey bird droppings let loose by the obnoxious orange samurai bird.

The old man seemed to forget that Gatti and Chesta were hiding in a shrubbery right next to him and he began arguing with a nearby oak tree. Gatti and Chesta thought that the old man was not sane and they both decided to get as far away from him as possible, because crazy people are scary and should be avoided at all costs (with the exception of Dilandau-sama).

Gatti and Chesta ran from the clearing while the crazy old man was distracted and didn't look back until they could no longer see the old man or the clearing. As they got farther from the clearing, the trees seemed to get denser and denser until they were no longer sure of where they were headed. They began to feel small and alone in the big spooky forest and they were terrified by the feeling that hundreds of creepy little eyes were watching them as they stumbled clumsily through the underbrush.

The two Dragon Slayers started to feel a bit woozy and they thought for sure that their eyes were playing tricks on them when they noticed some small shimmering lights off in the distance. Abandoning all sense of logic, they ran toward the little lights and lost the forest in a blur of branches and twigs. They ran in a crazed state of mind until they realized with dismay that they never seemed to get any closer to the little faerie lights.

Out of breath, they rested for a while and then a peculiar patch of colorful mushrooms caught Chesta's attention. Gatti, still intent on the distant glowing lights, did not notice Chesta's fixation with the bizarre mushrooms until it was too late…(continued….)

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Author's Note: w00t! I finally finished this chapter, after like five months… ;;; Please review.