Author: Mirrordance

Title: Escape

Summary: Aragorn is lost during a tour with the Rangers, and Legolas later finds him in Bree, without his memories & happily relieved of all his noble burdens, making the elf hesitate to bring him back to who he truly was.

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PART EIGHT

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      Haldir sat beside Sari on the floor of the old porch leading up to the doors of the house.  The night was cool and quiet, and the moonlight played about the stream in front of the house, magically tossing shafts of silver here and there.

      ~Well,~ said Sari, ~You've found us.  What is it that you intend to do?~

      Haldir paused in thought.  ~You found the adan.  And yet you chose not to inform any of us.  What were you intending to do?~

      ~A fair question,~ Sari admitted, ~Same as you, I suppose.  I came here thinking I would find him and restore him to Arwen.  And nothing has gone according to plan since.  First of all, it was he who found me, instead of the other way around.  My injuries were getting the best of me and, well, there he was, for lack of a better way to say it.  Without his memories, and incredibly, ridiculously happy here.  I decided I would stay awhile, and think about what next to do.  Besides, I found I did not have the courage to allow him out of my sight, in case he should vanish again.  And I had no other way of sending word to you short of leaving myself.~

      ~He also said you were ill,~ Haldir pointed out, looking at Sari, measuring, ~I suppose you could not have traveled either.~

      ~That too,~ Sari said softly, ~But I am well now.  It was the illness that got me staying here long enough to think it through.  I know not what to do with him,~ he laughed sadly, ~I know not what to do with myself.~

      Haldir looked at him sharply.

      ~I am suddenly, strangely bound to this house,~ he said, ~They cared for me, and they are situated here, so unprotected.  They have so little and yet give so much.~

      They paused for a moment, their sharp elven-ears hearing the admittedly discreet footsteps of a new arrival.  Teresa's head peered out from behind the door, and she was bearing two steaming mugs of tea.  She seemed surprised to see Haldir there.

      "Oh hello," she said shyly, "I'm sorry to disturb you."

      "Come out, Teresa," said Sari, "It's all right."

      "I wouldn't want to intrude," she said with a smile, and shoved the mugs their way, some of the liquid spilling over the side, "Sorry.  Tea?"

      "Thank you," Sari smiled at her gratefully, taking the mugs from her hands and giving the other to Haldir.  She excused herself and left, Haldir watching the door after her before turning to look at his friend knowingly.

      ~Bound to this house, are you?~ he asked.

      ~They are all kind,~ Sari said, ~incidentally including her.  She usually sits with me for a few hours when I watch over the house at night.~

      ~Well I sincerely apologize,~ said Haldir wryly, ~I seem to be the intruder after all.~

      ~She's a child,~ Sari said, waving the teasing away, ~I am in love with Arwen.  It is the thought of returning to her that kept me alive for all my centuries of captivity.  It is for this love that I am here, to restore to her who it was that lent her happiness when I could not give it to her.  It is because of this that I could not hate Estel for taking that which was once mine, for he gave more than he took.  He made her smile.~

      ~And what happens when his mind is restored?~ Haldir asked, ~When you both return to the Evenstar?~

      ~I can only act by what I feel is right,~ replied Sari, ~Pay what it is that I owe to Estel.  The rest is Arwen's choice, isn't it? And…~ he paused, hesitant, ~I think I know who it is she wants.~

      Haldir looked at him inquiringly.

      ~The adan,~ said Sari softly, ~It is only duty that binds her heart to mine.  She loved me once, and she gave her word to love only me for ever.  But fate has been unkind to us both and that love was long ago and long since passed.  Now that I've returned… the fear I have for Arwen is that she may give away that which makes her truly happy to keep her duties, to keep her word.  I have only that, mellon, and no longer her heart, though she is yet to realize it.~

      ~The thought of her kept me alive all these years and gave me hope,~ Sari smiled wistfully, ~I can ask no more of her.  Perhaps it is why I am still here.  I needed to escape her too.~   

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Rivendell

Earlier in 3014

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      They could not have been more different at that moment, and yet all at once they were both hopelessly bound to this ridiculous fate that brought them together and yet created a gap between them that spanned an eternity.

      One was an elf with all his years and all his wisdom and all his history resting well against him.  One was a man, wiser than his comparatively few years, his history still awaiting him.  Both were great and kind, and both cared for the same woman.  One was a father, the other a lover.

      They met each other's eyes squarely, each equally turbulent.  Estel searched his father's face for answers that were plain to him from long ago.

      ~You wish me to leave her be,~ Estel whispered, ~You always have.  And now he is back and it can come true at last.~

      ~I love you both, Estel, you know this,~ Elrond said fervently, ~But what she gives to you no father should have to see his child lose.~

      ~I love her,~ Estel said plainly, as if it was reason enough for all that they would have to go through.  Perhaps it was true.  Perhaps not. 

      ~I know,~ said Elrond, ~I do not doubt.  I cannot doubt that, for I am not so blind I cannot see you give much just to be hers.  But Estel… Estel… I will lose you one day, this is a certainty.  The son of my heart will die.  And I cannot bear to lose her too.~

      ~But there will be a Haven,~ argued Estel, ~One beyond this.  One where we will all see each other again.~

      ~The roads of elves and men are headed different ways,~ said Elrond, ~It always was meant to be like this.  If you will not do this for me, then do it for her.  You will pass before her and she will live and breathe to feel that ache in every fiber of her being until she herself wastes away.~

      ~If one can cease to love when it guarantees hardship,~ said Estel fervently, ~Then we'd both have stopped years ago.~

      ~If one cannot cease to love,~ Elrond pointed out, ~Then she would not have had the heart to love you, for it would have remained with Sari.~

      Estel turned away from the elf he had long regarded as a father, stung and bitter and worse, helpless.

      ~Estel,~ said Elrond softly, laying a hand upon his adopted son's shoulder, ~One can always love again.  And one can always love another.  She is in good hands with Sari.~

      Estel looked up at him, and his hardy eyes shone with all the might of all the tears he strove to keep.

      ~I love you, ada,~ he said quietly, ~And I love Arwen.  I never meant to give any of you any grief.  Now I must leave, for not only can I no longer find peace in Imladris, but I also put a blight upon its days.  Goodbye, ada.  And you will be the one to tell her goodbye for me,~ he added with a sad little smile, ~I fear if I did so myself, I would not be as resolute under the force of her eyes.~

      He walked away.

      Elrond let him.

* * *

      As most escapes went, his did not last for very long at all.

      Pretending to be asleep was one thing, but actually succeeding was another.  Mind wide and rather miserably awake, his heightened senses were alert to any and all movements in and around the house.  He heard whispers of the elven discussion outside, and Teresa's disappointed trudging back to her room.  And he heard the elvish murmurs of the adan dreamer beside him when it came unbidden in the midst of his deep sleep. 

      ~You wish me to leave her be,~ Estel murmured, ~You always have.~

      Legolas turned to face him, his heart pounding furiously as he watched the man toss and turn and mutter in his sleep, walking in his memories.  He felt like an intruder, but he also could not leave.

      ~I never meant to give any of you any grief,~ he muttered, ~I never meant to give any of them any grief!~

      Legolas' brows furrowed, and he held his breath.  Oh, Estel.  We never really can leave so far from the past, could we?

      ~All is well,~ Legolas murmured to the man, ~Be at peace, mellon.  You are no longer alone.  Not here, and not in your grief.  Though you may not know it.~

      Legolas wanted to believe that it was because of his soothing words that the man calmed.  For a while more he watched Estel sleep.  Maybe it was just a bit of a time.  Perhaps it was more.  Either way he found his eyes could not stray from the other's face.  He felt the need to protect the adan, surely.  It has been very long since he had seen Estel in so fragile a state.

      Then again, Legolas thought wryly, imagining himself saying this to Estel and the man's eyes would probably light up in laughter, Perhaps it's just for lack of better things to do.  It's so dreadfully dull here, Estel.  I'm imagining a map of the world by the little scars on your face.

      Legolas smiled impishly to himself, and wondered if he said it out loud because Estel's eyes suddenly drifted open, and the man smiled at him lazily.

      "You look like you are up to something," he teased, "Did my snoring offend you so much, master elf, that you've put something on my face?"

      "You weren't snoring," Legolas assured him.

      Estel's eyes lit with understanding.  "I see.  Either you find our quarters uncomfortable, or I've been keeping people awake with my noisy dreaming again."

      "A bit of both," Legolas admitted, "But mostly I just could not sleep.  My mind was wide awake."

      "Well," said Estel, "I certainly slept well.  I am sorry about the sleep-muttering, I truly am.  I did not even know it, until Damien told me," Estel glanced at the sleeping old man a mat away, "He's used to it by now, I suppose.  You will be too."

      "Of what do you dream?" Legolas asked him.

      "I can't remember," Estel said gathering his feet, "Damien says it is just some gibberish he could not understand," he stretched indulgently, trying to change the subject, "At least I woke up to take over the watch."

      Legolas would not be derailed.  Damien, or anyone else from this far back-country would not have recognized the Elvish.  But Estel, completely forgetting, even as he dreamt? Even as he spoke? Details of dreams flew from the mind, yes.  But not the feelings.  They lingered, even if you did not know why.

      "You cannot remember?" Legolas pressed him.

      Estel averted his eyes, "All I remember, is that I'm sure it would hurt to remember even more."

      Legolas watched him leave, and itched to follow.  But some strange force kept him back, and he simply held his place on the mat.  It was the first time since Legolas found Estel that he really and willingly let the man leave his sight. 

      He did not know it then, but it was as if he was trying to get accustomed to the feeling of letting him go.

      The night was painfully quiet now.

TO BE CONTINUED…