Chapter 12

The next morning we got to eat breakfast with the kiddos in 'The Great Hall.' It was pretty great with the enchanted ceiling and all. It was kinda like eating outside without all of the bugs and stuff munching on the food. Not to mention not having to slather yourself with suntan lotion all of the time which always made whatever you ate taste funny.

We were halfway through with the meal when Harry, Hermione and the red-haired boy I saw on the platform yesterday showed up.

"'Lo." Harry said. "Have you seen Sirius around this morning?"

I shook my head. "He said he was gonna sleep in. Being in a hell dimension can kinda take it out of you."

The look on Harry's face told me that I should have kept my big trap shut, because Sirius hadn't told Harry where he had been for the last three months.

"Blimey!" That came from the red-headed boy.

I stuck my hand out. "I'm Willow Rosenberg."

He took hold of my hand and shook. "Ron Weasley, pleasure."

"Sit, munch." Faith called out.

Ron climbed over the table and sat on the other side so that he would not be left out of any conversation. Harry sat next to me with Hermione to his left.

"So ... um ... Sirius was in hell?"

I looked at Buffy and she shrugged. Faith decided it for me. "Go on. Nobody ever tells him anything for some stupid reason."

Harry actually smiled at that.

"Okay, but you have to act surprised when Sirius gets around to telling you, alright?"

Harry nodded.

"He wasn't in hell. He was in a hell dimension."

"What's the difference," Ron asked as he stuffed a sausage in his mouth.

"Well, the traditional Hell is all demons and devils and pitchforky type things. Serving your sentence for sins that you committed in your mortal life." I watched as he and Harry nodded. Hermione was just listening to the explanation in rapt attention.

"A 'hell dimension' is a place that is usually very non-hospitable to human presence. Some hell dimensions are really awful and dangerous while others are like earth but littered with demons. While others are normal except for something out of the ordinary like no toothpaste, which would really suck because of the whole holes in the teeth thing and terminal bad breathness. I'm pretty sure there is a dimension where there is no shrimp which is fine since I can't eat shellfish. I break out in a nasty rash and itch for days." Ron was looking at me like I had just grew a third eye.

"Uh ... sorry. Anyway, lots of demon type creatures usually live in these places and for some reason they are always trying to get into our dimension and eat people. "

Hermione took her cue. "That's where the Slayer comes in. She alone battles the vampires and the forces of darkness."

"Slayer?" Apparently they didn't fill Ron on anything about yesterday.

"Ron, haven't you been paying attention to anything in your Muggle Studies class?" Admonished Hermione. "We covered this in third year. Remember the Muggle entertainment box? The television."

Ron looked lost and Hermione sighed deeply. "Serial fiction stories called drama's, or situational-comedies are acted out and displayed on the television."

He seemed to have a vague recollection but was lost again at the end.

Hermione continued. "The professor even covered a fictional series that bordered on actual fact called 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer.'"

Now it dawned on him. Hermione thumbed to us and Ron stared. A looked of vast surprise lit up his face. "You all are entertainers? That's great. We could use a bit of lighten' up with You Know Who on the loose and all."

Harry couldn't see him go on anymore. "Ron, you thick-headed prat --- they are the people from the show, not actors ... the real people. Demon fighters."

Buffy held her hand out to Ron. "Hi, I'm Buffy ... the Vampire Slayer."

"Wha'?"

Buffy continued. "This is Xander ... uh .. the Brutish Strongman."

"Thanks, Buff."

"No problem." She pointed at Faith. "That's Faith, the Vampire Slayer. Apparently the 'she alone' part of the speech bit the big one a few years ago. And you've already met Willow."

Ron's eyebrows were still somewhere in the region of his hairline. "What are you?"

I shrugged. "I'm a witch."

He relaxed. "Finally, someone normal."

I had to laugh at that. In all of my life I don't think I had ever been called normal.

"Check it out, Red. You've come home, and we're the weirdoes for once."