Chapter Seven
Clear didn't know when Colin had disappeared. He just did. Her insides hurt. She rolled over and grabbed ahold of the comforter on her bed to pull herself up.
She choked down a sob.
She didn't bother worrying about what would happen after. After all, she knew, Colin couldn't get someone pregnant anymore. She had found that out from her mom. She wasn't even worried about STDs at the moment. For now it was just what had happened ten minutes ago.
Clear would never be the same. Ever. She always knew the bastard was capable of mayhem, but she had never imagined that he would hurt someone so bad, physically and emotionally. She had always said proudly, 'I'm saving myself for marriage.' Here she was, fifteen, and she was... raped. By her stepfather. She remembered reading about that sort of thing in the book Go Ask Alice, and she remembered thinking, how could anyone do that? How could anyone have that happen to them and survive? After all, the people in the book were scarred for life.
She finally stood up.
She stumbled. She pulled her tank top down, her stomach aching like never before. Her bare feet were freezing against the wooden floor. She had to leave.
It took all her strength to climb out the window. She could barely hang onto it, or the ladice along her house. She dropped to the ground. She couldn't stay in one spot. She began to run shakilly. The twigs on the ground scratched her feet.
She made it to the sidewalk. Hopefully, she would find some way to get to someone. The closest friend was Alex. She thought, he would surely understand.
She would not cry. She would not cry.
She walked the streets in the cold weather. The sky was now a black-blue. The stars were out. She remembered the time at the lake when her and Terry had gotten smashed, and she had totally embarassed herself in front of George. She thought her life was over then! Confessions of a teenage drama queen--she was no different than the rest. Making a big deal out of nothing was not exactly the way to teach herself to survive in the real world. She used to think she was a survivor. With her dad dying, she thought she was strong.
She wasn't.
She looked across the road. Someone was there. No! She couldn't let anyone see her. She tried to hide behind the trees, but she was just too weak.
The figures were familiar. Three boys... they had to be Alex, Tod, and George!
They were laughing. Happy. Excited.
She ran to them.
Tod saw her first. "Clear?" he shouted. She got closer. It was Clear, alright. He, his friend, and brother gaped at the girl--her clothes torn, her hair a mess, her face tear-streaked and scared. Something serious had happened to Clear.
Tod raised his hands in question. In response, Clear fell into them and began sobbing. The two other boys watched Clear, hoping and anticipating that she would tell her story soon.
Clear pulled away from Tod.
"Clear?" George asked, "What happened to you?"
She tried not to cry again. "I was... I can't tell you hear. Can we get to Alex's?"
The boys nodded, soft, understanding expressions on their face. They fell into step. Clear walked slower and stumbled. Alex took her hand, then looked at her in shock--she was shaking so badly that she shook his hand as well!
He looked into her eyes, horrified. Her face said it all--Clear Rivers' life had been forever changed.
***
It took awhile, but they got to Alex's house. They went up to his room quietly. Clear collapsed onto the bed with a heave of her shoulders. Alex looked at her expectantly. "Are you ready to tell us?" he asked.
Clear bit her lip. Her face had pure fear on it. "I... have to go to the bathroom," she finished quietly.
Without so much as a nod from the guys, she darted down the hall to the bathroom, shut the door, and threw up.
She flushed the toilet. She couldn't bare to look into the mirror, so she shut her eyes and opened the door. Once out, she bumped into Mrs. Browning.
"Sorry," she said quickly.
Mrs. Browning was confused. "Clear? I didn't even see you come in!" She looked the girl over. All at once, the woman's face became shocked and horrified. "Clear, what happened to you?"
Clear bit her lip. She couldn't tell the boys. One would think that she wouldn't be able to tell Alex's mother. But she was a woman, a grown one who understood things. Plus, she knew Mrs. Browning well enough by now to talk with her about these things. Still... could she? She looked at Alex's closed door. The image of the guys with their ears pressed to the door struck her. "Can we go to the kitchen? It's kind of a sit-down thing."
Mrs. Browning nodded and they walked downstairs. Once down there, Clear pulled up a seat on a barstool and Barbara leaned over the counter.
"Mrs. Browning," Clear began nervously, "Alex doesn't know what goes on at my house, does he?"
Barbara shrugged. "I've overheard him saying that you don't get along with your stepfather."
"It's worse than that," Clear barely whispered. "He beats me and my mother."
Alex's mother's face became twice as shocked as before. Her eyes pounded with her heart. "Honey," she breathed, "You haven't gone to the police?"
"I can't," Clear confessed. "He'll hurt me or my mom more."
Barbara put her hand on Clear's. "That's not possible, Clear."
Clear gulped. "It's very possible," she said, her lip trembling more and more with every word. "Because tonight, he... he..." she couldn't say it. But her face said it. She looked at the mother's face and realized, she knew what she meant. The expression on her face caused Clear to give away. She broke into sobs once more.
Mrs. Browning rounded the kitchen island and wrapped her arms around the adolescent, holding her head the way Clear remembered her mom would when she was scared. Suddenly, Clear felt like a small child. She closed her eyes tightly, feeling that too many tears had been cried that night. They were gone now. She physically couldn't cry anymore.
"Clear," Barbara told her carefully, "You're going to need help. Proffessional help. And a pregnancy test--"
"No," Clear put in, "Colin can't get women pregnant. Thank God."
"But there are certain health issues--"
"Mrs. Browning," Clear cut, "I know you want to help, and I thank you so, so much, but I don't feel like I can stand up anymore, let alone go to a hospital. Can I just lie down?"
Alex's mom was about to object, but took a beat to consider. She finally nodded.
Two minutes later, Clear was wrapped in a quilt on a couch in the Browning's living room. Her eyes were shut, but that didn't mean she was asleep.
***
Terry ran her fingers through rows of compact disks. How many people actually bought CDs anymore? Then again, how many people went to the mall alone at ten AM on a Saturday morning? She imagined Billy was still in bed, his head burried deep under his pillow. After the few rounds of pool with the guys last night, she had finally gone home, not even saying hello to her mom and dad.
Like they noticed anyway.
"Hmmm," she mumbled to herself, picking up a Michelle Branch CD, "I don't have this one yet."
A teenybopper girl on the other side of the CD rack looked at her with a scowl. Terry smiled. Did twelve-year-olds always seem that young to her? She ignored it and carried the CD to the listening booth. She popped it in and put the headphones on.
Hard-edged pop and guitar flooded her ears. A smile spread on her face. She turned out the store window to see the nearly-empty mall. The only population was rows of unattended shopping carts, a tall Wal-Mart employee with messy hair and glasses bringing out a scarecrow display, and a broad-shoulderd teenage boy who caught her eye--
Carter Horton.
She pulled her eyes away, hoping the jock hadn't seen her.
He had.
He glided through the doors of CD World and approached the listening station.
"Hi, Terry," he said nervously.
She didn't look over. She pretended not to hear him.
"I know you can hear me," he said confidently, "Your volume is on two out of ten."
Her response was turning the volume up until it hurt her ears and Carter could hear it.
"Hotel Paper," he observed, "Cool stuff."
Frustrated, she ejected the CD and put it back in it's case. She began her way to the counter.
"Terry," Carter told her as he walked after her, "I know you think I'm a dick--"
"You ARE a dick."
"I'm really sorry about ditching you and the guys, it's just that I have--"
"What you have is an ego that needs deflating," she muttered, still walking. She stopped at the counter. No one was there. She hit the service bell. When no one came, she groaned and hit it again.
"Terry, I can't be your friend!" he insisted.
Terry turned her head around, trying to hide how much that hurt, even comming from a jerk ass like Carter. "I guess we've all figured that out. Maybe in a week you'll be too good to shop for CDs in the same store as me."
"I didn't mean it that way," he told her, "I mean... I think that if I can't have you as a girlfriend, I don't wanna have you at all."
"WHAT?"
Terry's eyes bugged out of her head. Carter had the most sincere expression on his face, but she was having a hard time believing it.
"I mean, I'm... jealous. Of Hitchcock. He's, ya know, got you, and I... don't. It makes me sound like an idiot, but I like you, Terry. When I kissed you this summer, you know I meant it. If you gave me another chance, I promise I wouldn't blow it. We could be like--"
"Carter," Terry told him, her hand held up, "You blew it last time by kissing me, alright?" She glared at him strongly.
"Maybe you're right," he said stubbornly, "But I miss you." He leaned over.
He kissed her.
Terry couldn't imagine it--he was kissing her... again! And, for the second time, he had no idea what he was doing. He couldn't have picked a worse thing to do.
She pushed him off.
"Carter, you dickhead!" she yelled. The twelve-year-old who was browsing the CDs was looking at them with interest and looked like she was about to laugh her ass off. "You really have no clue, do you?"
"I thought you--"
"Jesus Christ!" she went on, "How come everyone can't face that I am with Billy? I'm not just a face. I can make my own descisions!"
Carter couldn't say anything. He'd been proven wrong again. "I'm sorry, Terry," he muttered.
She shook her head. Giving up any hopes of getting service, she put the CD down on the counter and walked to the doorway. "No, you're not. Do me a favour--just drop fuckin' dead, alright?"
~~~
So that was chapter seven... yep... once again, a thank you for the reviews, two-seven-seven had a great idea!! (about the life insurance, AND the Kill Bill reference) Who knows, Colin MAY meet his untimely end. Sparky, it's good to have someone who can identify with Clear (though if your SD is half as bad as Colin, I would advise you to go after him with a board with a nail in it!) And, of course, Hawk, thank you for watching my story so closely! (I guess the reason why I nned you Hawk is cause something about you makes me think that you would hate Tony Hawk. Do you? Well, I do!)
Again, another FD reference with Terry's last line, just put it in for the purpose of putting it in. Plus, this chapter features a "cameo" by my brother. He is the "tall Wal-Mart employee with messy hair and glasses bringing out a scarecrow display." He works at Wal-Mart and I take every opportunity to make fun of that!
Clear didn't know when Colin had disappeared. He just did. Her insides hurt. She rolled over and grabbed ahold of the comforter on her bed to pull herself up.
She choked down a sob.
She didn't bother worrying about what would happen after. After all, she knew, Colin couldn't get someone pregnant anymore. She had found that out from her mom. She wasn't even worried about STDs at the moment. For now it was just what had happened ten minutes ago.
Clear would never be the same. Ever. She always knew the bastard was capable of mayhem, but she had never imagined that he would hurt someone so bad, physically and emotionally. She had always said proudly, 'I'm saving myself for marriage.' Here she was, fifteen, and she was... raped. By her stepfather. She remembered reading about that sort of thing in the book Go Ask Alice, and she remembered thinking, how could anyone do that? How could anyone have that happen to them and survive? After all, the people in the book were scarred for life.
She finally stood up.
She stumbled. She pulled her tank top down, her stomach aching like never before. Her bare feet were freezing against the wooden floor. She had to leave.
It took all her strength to climb out the window. She could barely hang onto it, or the ladice along her house. She dropped to the ground. She couldn't stay in one spot. She began to run shakilly. The twigs on the ground scratched her feet.
She made it to the sidewalk. Hopefully, she would find some way to get to someone. The closest friend was Alex. She thought, he would surely understand.
She would not cry. She would not cry.
She walked the streets in the cold weather. The sky was now a black-blue. The stars were out. She remembered the time at the lake when her and Terry had gotten smashed, and she had totally embarassed herself in front of George. She thought her life was over then! Confessions of a teenage drama queen--she was no different than the rest. Making a big deal out of nothing was not exactly the way to teach herself to survive in the real world. She used to think she was a survivor. With her dad dying, she thought she was strong.
She wasn't.
She looked across the road. Someone was there. No! She couldn't let anyone see her. She tried to hide behind the trees, but she was just too weak.
The figures were familiar. Three boys... they had to be Alex, Tod, and George!
They were laughing. Happy. Excited.
She ran to them.
Tod saw her first. "Clear?" he shouted. She got closer. It was Clear, alright. He, his friend, and brother gaped at the girl--her clothes torn, her hair a mess, her face tear-streaked and scared. Something serious had happened to Clear.
Tod raised his hands in question. In response, Clear fell into them and began sobbing. The two other boys watched Clear, hoping and anticipating that she would tell her story soon.
Clear pulled away from Tod.
"Clear?" George asked, "What happened to you?"
She tried not to cry again. "I was... I can't tell you hear. Can we get to Alex's?"
The boys nodded, soft, understanding expressions on their face. They fell into step. Clear walked slower and stumbled. Alex took her hand, then looked at her in shock--she was shaking so badly that she shook his hand as well!
He looked into her eyes, horrified. Her face said it all--Clear Rivers' life had been forever changed.
***
It took awhile, but they got to Alex's house. They went up to his room quietly. Clear collapsed onto the bed with a heave of her shoulders. Alex looked at her expectantly. "Are you ready to tell us?" he asked.
Clear bit her lip. Her face had pure fear on it. "I... have to go to the bathroom," she finished quietly.
Without so much as a nod from the guys, she darted down the hall to the bathroom, shut the door, and threw up.
She flushed the toilet. She couldn't bare to look into the mirror, so she shut her eyes and opened the door. Once out, she bumped into Mrs. Browning.
"Sorry," she said quickly.
Mrs. Browning was confused. "Clear? I didn't even see you come in!" She looked the girl over. All at once, the woman's face became shocked and horrified. "Clear, what happened to you?"
Clear bit her lip. She couldn't tell the boys. One would think that she wouldn't be able to tell Alex's mother. But she was a woman, a grown one who understood things. Plus, she knew Mrs. Browning well enough by now to talk with her about these things. Still... could she? She looked at Alex's closed door. The image of the guys with their ears pressed to the door struck her. "Can we go to the kitchen? It's kind of a sit-down thing."
Mrs. Browning nodded and they walked downstairs. Once down there, Clear pulled up a seat on a barstool and Barbara leaned over the counter.
"Mrs. Browning," Clear began nervously, "Alex doesn't know what goes on at my house, does he?"
Barbara shrugged. "I've overheard him saying that you don't get along with your stepfather."
"It's worse than that," Clear barely whispered. "He beats me and my mother."
Alex's mother's face became twice as shocked as before. Her eyes pounded with her heart. "Honey," she breathed, "You haven't gone to the police?"
"I can't," Clear confessed. "He'll hurt me or my mom more."
Barbara put her hand on Clear's. "That's not possible, Clear."
Clear gulped. "It's very possible," she said, her lip trembling more and more with every word. "Because tonight, he... he..." she couldn't say it. But her face said it. She looked at the mother's face and realized, she knew what she meant. The expression on her face caused Clear to give away. She broke into sobs once more.
Mrs. Browning rounded the kitchen island and wrapped her arms around the adolescent, holding her head the way Clear remembered her mom would when she was scared. Suddenly, Clear felt like a small child. She closed her eyes tightly, feeling that too many tears had been cried that night. They were gone now. She physically couldn't cry anymore.
"Clear," Barbara told her carefully, "You're going to need help. Proffessional help. And a pregnancy test--"
"No," Clear put in, "Colin can't get women pregnant. Thank God."
"But there are certain health issues--"
"Mrs. Browning," Clear cut, "I know you want to help, and I thank you so, so much, but I don't feel like I can stand up anymore, let alone go to a hospital. Can I just lie down?"
Alex's mom was about to object, but took a beat to consider. She finally nodded.
Two minutes later, Clear was wrapped in a quilt on a couch in the Browning's living room. Her eyes were shut, but that didn't mean she was asleep.
***
Terry ran her fingers through rows of compact disks. How many people actually bought CDs anymore? Then again, how many people went to the mall alone at ten AM on a Saturday morning? She imagined Billy was still in bed, his head burried deep under his pillow. After the few rounds of pool with the guys last night, she had finally gone home, not even saying hello to her mom and dad.
Like they noticed anyway.
"Hmmm," she mumbled to herself, picking up a Michelle Branch CD, "I don't have this one yet."
A teenybopper girl on the other side of the CD rack looked at her with a scowl. Terry smiled. Did twelve-year-olds always seem that young to her? She ignored it and carried the CD to the listening booth. She popped it in and put the headphones on.
Hard-edged pop and guitar flooded her ears. A smile spread on her face. She turned out the store window to see the nearly-empty mall. The only population was rows of unattended shopping carts, a tall Wal-Mart employee with messy hair and glasses bringing out a scarecrow display, and a broad-shoulderd teenage boy who caught her eye--
Carter Horton.
She pulled her eyes away, hoping the jock hadn't seen her.
He had.
He glided through the doors of CD World and approached the listening station.
"Hi, Terry," he said nervously.
She didn't look over. She pretended not to hear him.
"I know you can hear me," he said confidently, "Your volume is on two out of ten."
Her response was turning the volume up until it hurt her ears and Carter could hear it.
"Hotel Paper," he observed, "Cool stuff."
Frustrated, she ejected the CD and put it back in it's case. She began her way to the counter.
"Terry," Carter told her as he walked after her, "I know you think I'm a dick--"
"You ARE a dick."
"I'm really sorry about ditching you and the guys, it's just that I have--"
"What you have is an ego that needs deflating," she muttered, still walking. She stopped at the counter. No one was there. She hit the service bell. When no one came, she groaned and hit it again.
"Terry, I can't be your friend!" he insisted.
Terry turned her head around, trying to hide how much that hurt, even comming from a jerk ass like Carter. "I guess we've all figured that out. Maybe in a week you'll be too good to shop for CDs in the same store as me."
"I didn't mean it that way," he told her, "I mean... I think that if I can't have you as a girlfriend, I don't wanna have you at all."
"WHAT?"
Terry's eyes bugged out of her head. Carter had the most sincere expression on his face, but she was having a hard time believing it.
"I mean, I'm... jealous. Of Hitchcock. He's, ya know, got you, and I... don't. It makes me sound like an idiot, but I like you, Terry. When I kissed you this summer, you know I meant it. If you gave me another chance, I promise I wouldn't blow it. We could be like--"
"Carter," Terry told him, her hand held up, "You blew it last time by kissing me, alright?" She glared at him strongly.
"Maybe you're right," he said stubbornly, "But I miss you." He leaned over.
He kissed her.
Terry couldn't imagine it--he was kissing her... again! And, for the second time, he had no idea what he was doing. He couldn't have picked a worse thing to do.
She pushed him off.
"Carter, you dickhead!" she yelled. The twelve-year-old who was browsing the CDs was looking at them with interest and looked like she was about to laugh her ass off. "You really have no clue, do you?"
"I thought you--"
"Jesus Christ!" she went on, "How come everyone can't face that I am with Billy? I'm not just a face. I can make my own descisions!"
Carter couldn't say anything. He'd been proven wrong again. "I'm sorry, Terry," he muttered.
She shook her head. Giving up any hopes of getting service, she put the CD down on the counter and walked to the doorway. "No, you're not. Do me a favour--just drop fuckin' dead, alright?"
~~~
So that was chapter seven... yep... once again, a thank you for the reviews, two-seven-seven had a great idea!! (about the life insurance, AND the Kill Bill reference) Who knows, Colin MAY meet his untimely end. Sparky, it's good to have someone who can identify with Clear (though if your SD is half as bad as Colin, I would advise you to go after him with a board with a nail in it!) And, of course, Hawk, thank you for watching my story so closely! (I guess the reason why I nned you Hawk is cause something about you makes me think that you would hate Tony Hawk. Do you? Well, I do!)
Again, another FD reference with Terry's last line, just put it in for the purpose of putting it in. Plus, this chapter features a "cameo" by my brother. He is the "tall Wal-Mart employee with messy hair and glasses bringing out a scarecrow display." He works at Wal-Mart and I take every opportunity to make fun of that!
