Disclaimer: dont own nuffin
Ron Weasley was the picture of innocence as his sleeping form lay draped over his rumpled covers, various magazines about Quidditch, and loose bits of parchment. His window was open, with the shades drawn just enough to let air in, and he shuddered as a cool morning breeze drifted through his room. Little did he know he was just inches from death.
He was ripped from his unconscious state as a pillow was pressed to his face, blocking air, smothering the life out of him. His immediate conclusion was that Wormtail, his personal arch nemesis, had finally come to seek revenge, and he began screaming for his mother.
And as abruptly as the attack had started, it ended. 'I scared him off!' Ron thought, wildly relieved. He would live to see another day. He yanked the pillow off his head, gasping, and looked up into the grinning eyes of...Harry Potter.
"Payback's a bitch." Harry's eyes were positively gleaming as he watched his friend recover.
Ron was livid. His ears and cheeks boiled red, a line of sweat glistened on his upper lip, and there was something manical in the way his eyes were glinting. He looked rather ferocious, much like a tiger with all the orange hair.
Gritting his teeth, Ron panted, "You're dead, Harry."
"Why does everyone want to kill me? What have I done?" questioned Harry, eyes wide in confusion. He was enjoying Ron's reaction immensely and wished he had a camera to capture the way the veins popped out of his neck. 'Vern!' Harry visualized his uncle with red hair and sniggered.
Suddenly, he feared his friend's anger would boil over and he would recieve a pounding unlike anything Dudley could issue. Instead, Ron let out the mother of all farts.
Astonished, they both stared at each other in stupor. The silence only lasted momentarily as Harry felt like his gut would burst. 'Holy crap!' his mind screamed and his laugh missed his mouth and shot straight out his nose. Ron's face instantly broke into a grin, and soon their hystercial snorting reached howling level.
"OHMYGAWWWD!!!!"
Fred and George, not to be left out of any sort of gaiety, bounded in the room moments later, wondering what was so funny at six-oh-eight in the morning. One deep breath later and they indignantly left as quickly as they had come, grumbling how it must be nice.
"What must be nice?' Ginny chimed in as she passed them in the doorway, coming to inspect the racket for herself. She'd only been asleep in her own bed for forty-five minutes.
George looked down at her answered crossly, "To be fifteen and retarded." They then shuffled to the comfort and sanity of their own room.Ginny blinked at them and peeked in. Ron was sighing and wiping his eyes, Harry's head was down and he was shaking quietly, trying to get a hold of himself.
"Did he have a bad dream or something?" she asked. As thick as she thought Harry was ('What kind of idiot forgets about a knife when trying to divide some string??'), she was concerned for him when it came to his personal problems. Harry and Ron stole a watery glance at each other.
"Oh it was awful, Gin, just awful!" came Ron's strangled reply.
"The worst..." Harry continued, shaking more violently with laughter and trying desperately to maintain the impression of being tormented by evil nightmares.
"Oh my God!" Wide-eyed, she sat down next to Harry on Ron's bed and tried to get a glimpse of his scrunched face. Harry turned away sharply, and though it was to hide a new fit of the giggles that had seized him, Ginny thought he was being sensitive, and she lost all common sense as her heart melted.
"Oh Harry-!" She bit her lip to keep from saying something overly emotional and instead threw her arms around him. He let out a howl and leaned into her, still keeping his face turned from her, lest the grinning and the laughing betray him. 'Oh wow, how much longer can I keep this up before she discovers we're laughing and it's because of a fart!? FART is funniest word EVER!' For a fleeting moment, he feared for his sanity...
Ron flopped over on his side and began convulsing uncontrollably among all the papers on his bed. His sister threw him a dirty look over Harry's back wondered why he was acting possessed. It must have been a horrible dream for RON to get this upset.
Ginny had never seen Harry like this before, so vulnerable and so...pathetic. Dramatically, she seized Harry's chin and in hopes of making him tell her what was wrong, turned his face toward her and looked into his eyes. He stopped laughing immediately from the shock and stared back, afraid of what she was going to do.
Ron immediately bolted from the room. They heard him scamper down the hall, making some indistinguishable noise and slam the bathroom door shut.
Ginny looked after him and made a funny face, then turned her attention back to Harry, who was growing more nervous by the second. Earnestly, she questioned, "Harry, whats the matter?"
A pesky smile kept popping up, the kind that threaten to ruin a serious moment, which Harry had to keep suppressing. Even though he was rather touched Ginny was being so softhearted after his shoelace blunder earlier, he couldn't forget the look on Ron's face just after-
"Ron farted." Harry said and snorted into her shoulder.
She didn't move for a moment. She just sat there while the stupidity of the comment sunk in. 'Ron. Farted. Not a horrific nightmare prophesizing death and destruction. No memories of dead parents tormenting him in his sleep.Just.... Ron. Farted.' She made a disgusted face and pushed Harry's head off her shoulder. He wasn't expecting it and his face hit his knee.
"Ow..."
"You- you dolt! You prat, you...absolute asshole! I can't believe you!" She stood up, the rage and embarrassment beginning to make her quiver. She then calmly told him, "Harry Potter, you are the biggest bastard I've ever met", and stalked out of the room.
"What!? Gin...Come on....Even bigger than Malfoy?" Harry whined after her. He hadn't been prepared for her to react like a lunatic, and he certainly hadn't wanted her so angry with him. The look in her eyes was quite frightening. She poked her head back in the door, blue eyes narrowed to slits.
"Even bigger than Snape", she hissed, and disappeared.
Harry's jaw dropped.
From the hallway a loud "YEOW!" was heard, and shortly after Ron re- entered, rubbing his arm and looking pained.
"What'd she pinch me for?" He looked at Harry questioningly. He simply shrugged in reply and stared out the window, lost in his own thoughts. Maybe fart wasn't the funniest word in the world after all.
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Ron Weasley was the picture of innocence as his sleeping form lay draped over his rumpled covers, various magazines about Quidditch, and loose bits of parchment. His window was open, with the shades drawn just enough to let air in, and he shuddered as a cool morning breeze drifted through his room. Little did he know he was just inches from death.
He was ripped from his unconscious state as a pillow was pressed to his face, blocking air, smothering the life out of him. His immediate conclusion was that Wormtail, his personal arch nemesis, had finally come to seek revenge, and he began screaming for his mother.
And as abruptly as the attack had started, it ended. 'I scared him off!' Ron thought, wildly relieved. He would live to see another day. He yanked the pillow off his head, gasping, and looked up into the grinning eyes of...Harry Potter.
"Payback's a bitch." Harry's eyes were positively gleaming as he watched his friend recover.
Ron was livid. His ears and cheeks boiled red, a line of sweat glistened on his upper lip, and there was something manical in the way his eyes were glinting. He looked rather ferocious, much like a tiger with all the orange hair.
Gritting his teeth, Ron panted, "You're dead, Harry."
"Why does everyone want to kill me? What have I done?" questioned Harry, eyes wide in confusion. He was enjoying Ron's reaction immensely and wished he had a camera to capture the way the veins popped out of his neck. 'Vern!' Harry visualized his uncle with red hair and sniggered.
Suddenly, he feared his friend's anger would boil over and he would recieve a pounding unlike anything Dudley could issue. Instead, Ron let out the mother of all farts.
Astonished, they both stared at each other in stupor. The silence only lasted momentarily as Harry felt like his gut would burst. 'Holy crap!' his mind screamed and his laugh missed his mouth and shot straight out his nose. Ron's face instantly broke into a grin, and soon their hystercial snorting reached howling level.
"OHMYGAWWWD!!!!"
Fred and George, not to be left out of any sort of gaiety, bounded in the room moments later, wondering what was so funny at six-oh-eight in the morning. One deep breath later and they indignantly left as quickly as they had come, grumbling how it must be nice.
"What must be nice?' Ginny chimed in as she passed them in the doorway, coming to inspect the racket for herself. She'd only been asleep in her own bed for forty-five minutes.
George looked down at her answered crossly, "To be fifteen and retarded." They then shuffled to the comfort and sanity of their own room.Ginny blinked at them and peeked in. Ron was sighing and wiping his eyes, Harry's head was down and he was shaking quietly, trying to get a hold of himself.
"Did he have a bad dream or something?" she asked. As thick as she thought Harry was ('What kind of idiot forgets about a knife when trying to divide some string??'), she was concerned for him when it came to his personal problems. Harry and Ron stole a watery glance at each other.
"Oh it was awful, Gin, just awful!" came Ron's strangled reply.
"The worst..." Harry continued, shaking more violently with laughter and trying desperately to maintain the impression of being tormented by evil nightmares.
"Oh my God!" Wide-eyed, she sat down next to Harry on Ron's bed and tried to get a glimpse of his scrunched face. Harry turned away sharply, and though it was to hide a new fit of the giggles that had seized him, Ginny thought he was being sensitive, and she lost all common sense as her heart melted.
"Oh Harry-!" She bit her lip to keep from saying something overly emotional and instead threw her arms around him. He let out a howl and leaned into her, still keeping his face turned from her, lest the grinning and the laughing betray him. 'Oh wow, how much longer can I keep this up before she discovers we're laughing and it's because of a fart!? FART is funniest word EVER!' For a fleeting moment, he feared for his sanity...
Ron flopped over on his side and began convulsing uncontrollably among all the papers on his bed. His sister threw him a dirty look over Harry's back wondered why he was acting possessed. It must have been a horrible dream for RON to get this upset.
Ginny had never seen Harry like this before, so vulnerable and so...pathetic. Dramatically, she seized Harry's chin and in hopes of making him tell her what was wrong, turned his face toward her and looked into his eyes. He stopped laughing immediately from the shock and stared back, afraid of what she was going to do.
Ron immediately bolted from the room. They heard him scamper down the hall, making some indistinguishable noise and slam the bathroom door shut.
Ginny looked after him and made a funny face, then turned her attention back to Harry, who was growing more nervous by the second. Earnestly, she questioned, "Harry, whats the matter?"
A pesky smile kept popping up, the kind that threaten to ruin a serious moment, which Harry had to keep suppressing. Even though he was rather touched Ginny was being so softhearted after his shoelace blunder earlier, he couldn't forget the look on Ron's face just after-
"Ron farted." Harry said and snorted into her shoulder.
She didn't move for a moment. She just sat there while the stupidity of the comment sunk in. 'Ron. Farted. Not a horrific nightmare prophesizing death and destruction. No memories of dead parents tormenting him in his sleep.Just.... Ron. Farted.' She made a disgusted face and pushed Harry's head off her shoulder. He wasn't expecting it and his face hit his knee.
"Ow..."
"You- you dolt! You prat, you...absolute asshole! I can't believe you!" She stood up, the rage and embarrassment beginning to make her quiver. She then calmly told him, "Harry Potter, you are the biggest bastard I've ever met", and stalked out of the room.
"What!? Gin...Come on....Even bigger than Malfoy?" Harry whined after her. He hadn't been prepared for her to react like a lunatic, and he certainly hadn't wanted her so angry with him. The look in her eyes was quite frightening. She poked her head back in the door, blue eyes narrowed to slits.
"Even bigger than Snape", she hissed, and disappeared.
Harry's jaw dropped.
From the hallway a loud "YEOW!" was heard, and shortly after Ron re- entered, rubbing his arm and looking pained.
"What'd she pinch me for?" He looked at Harry questioningly. He simply shrugged in reply and stared out the window, lost in his own thoughts. Maybe fart wasn't the funniest word in the world after all.
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