1:49 am...
Buffy couldn't sleep. She had been tossing and turning all night. Just knowing that she'd be seeing Spike tomorrow was driving her crazy. She wasn't supposed to feel this was anymore, Damn it! She was over him. She had gotten over him a long time ago. So why did she feel like this? Wasn't she over him? Okay, sure, so she had a couple boyfriends after he had left; a couple meaning two. First there was Riley. He was nice and dependable, and loyal, but most importantly, he was safe. Even though Buffy and Spike had never actually gotten together, it had hurt so much to see him leave. It was like a part of her had left with him on that plane. A part she was still missing. So, Riley had been her proverbial rebound guy. But, he had known that. Somehow, he knew that was all he'd ever be, and ended the relationship. Next was Angel. Angel was the complete opposite of Riley. He was dangerous, and maybe that's why Buffy had been attracted to him. Or maybe it was just that she was so desperate to prove to herself that she was over "him". Because, in the end, it is all about him. So, she had convinced herself she was in love with Angel, and she had given herself to him on the night of Junior Prom. Then Angel left. After that night he didn't call, or even spare her a glance in the hallway, unless he was insulting her. It had hurt her very much, but not as badly as one might think. No matter how much she had tried to convince herself of it, she had never loved Angel, not really. But something else was really bugging her. Had she really loved Spike? She had been so young the last time she saw him. I mean, she had only been fifteen when he left. Can you really experience real, true love at that age?
Oh, screw these inner ramblings. Buffy needed someone to talk to. She picked up the phone that had sat on her nightstand by her bed, and dialed the number of her nearest and dearest friend.
"Hello?" a groggy voice answered.
"Hey Wills, I didn't wake you up did I?" asked Buffy.
"Oh, no, I'm always awake at this time" her friend sarcastically answered. "Let me guess, you're worried about seeing Spike tomorrow?"
"How'd you guess?" asked Buffy sheepishly.
"The only time you ever call me at two in the morning is to talk about him." Willow explained.
"I've never been so upset that I actually passed my driving test. If I hadn't, someone else would have to pick him up." Buffy sighed.
"What about that time you crashed into that tree?" Willow asked.
"There was ice!" said Buffy defensively.
"It was during the summer!" exclaimed Willow.
"That isn't the point, Willow." Buffy said frustrated. "I don't think I can face him."
"Sure ya can, Buffy. He's just the same old Spike you grew up knowing." reassured Willow.
"You mean the Spike I grew up loving," corrected Buffy. "And I don't know him anymore. What if he still just thinks of me as that little girl who followed him around all the time? I'm not that little girl anymore, Willow."
"I know that, Buffy. But you need to be telling him that, and I'm sure he doesn't think that. You were like a sister to him, Buffy." tried Willow.
"That's exactly my problem!" Buffy exclaimed. "You can't have romantic feelings for your sister. The have a name for that, incest. But I'm not a kid, and I'm certainly not his sister. Why doesn't he see that?"
"I don't know, Buffy. When it comes to men, they can be stupid about this kind of stuff." Willow said gently.
"Well, why can't he be smarter? It's just so frustrating!" Buffy sighed once again.
"Buffy, just be yourself tomorrow. Spike will see how truly amazing you are, and if he doesn't, I'll beat him up for you." Willow joked.
""Thank you, Willow, and I'm sorry I woke you up. I'll let you get some sleep." said Buffy.
"No problem, but the next time you want to have a late night chat, make it not so late, kay?" asked Willow as a yawn escaped her.
"Okay" Buffy said as she laughed softly.
"Night, Buffy"
"Good-night, Willow"
And with that Buffy hung up the phone. She tried to go back to sleep, but she failed. So she continued her tossing and turning until, eventually, she was overcome by fatigue. Tomorrow was going to be a very long day.....
To be continued
Buffy couldn't sleep. She had been tossing and turning all night. Just knowing that she'd be seeing Spike tomorrow was driving her crazy. She wasn't supposed to feel this was anymore, Damn it! She was over him. She had gotten over him a long time ago. So why did she feel like this? Wasn't she over him? Okay, sure, so she had a couple boyfriends after he had left; a couple meaning two. First there was Riley. He was nice and dependable, and loyal, but most importantly, he was safe. Even though Buffy and Spike had never actually gotten together, it had hurt so much to see him leave. It was like a part of her had left with him on that plane. A part she was still missing. So, Riley had been her proverbial rebound guy. But, he had known that. Somehow, he knew that was all he'd ever be, and ended the relationship. Next was Angel. Angel was the complete opposite of Riley. He was dangerous, and maybe that's why Buffy had been attracted to him. Or maybe it was just that she was so desperate to prove to herself that she was over "him". Because, in the end, it is all about him. So, she had convinced herself she was in love with Angel, and she had given herself to him on the night of Junior Prom. Then Angel left. After that night he didn't call, or even spare her a glance in the hallway, unless he was insulting her. It had hurt her very much, but not as badly as one might think. No matter how much she had tried to convince herself of it, she had never loved Angel, not really. But something else was really bugging her. Had she really loved Spike? She had been so young the last time she saw him. I mean, she had only been fifteen when he left. Can you really experience real, true love at that age?
Oh, screw these inner ramblings. Buffy needed someone to talk to. She picked up the phone that had sat on her nightstand by her bed, and dialed the number of her nearest and dearest friend.
"Hello?" a groggy voice answered.
"Hey Wills, I didn't wake you up did I?" asked Buffy.
"Oh, no, I'm always awake at this time" her friend sarcastically answered. "Let me guess, you're worried about seeing Spike tomorrow?"
"How'd you guess?" asked Buffy sheepishly.
"The only time you ever call me at two in the morning is to talk about him." Willow explained.
"I've never been so upset that I actually passed my driving test. If I hadn't, someone else would have to pick him up." Buffy sighed.
"What about that time you crashed into that tree?" Willow asked.
"There was ice!" said Buffy defensively.
"It was during the summer!" exclaimed Willow.
"That isn't the point, Willow." Buffy said frustrated. "I don't think I can face him."
"Sure ya can, Buffy. He's just the same old Spike you grew up knowing." reassured Willow.
"You mean the Spike I grew up loving," corrected Buffy. "And I don't know him anymore. What if he still just thinks of me as that little girl who followed him around all the time? I'm not that little girl anymore, Willow."
"I know that, Buffy. But you need to be telling him that, and I'm sure he doesn't think that. You were like a sister to him, Buffy." tried Willow.
"That's exactly my problem!" Buffy exclaimed. "You can't have romantic feelings for your sister. The have a name for that, incest. But I'm not a kid, and I'm certainly not his sister. Why doesn't he see that?"
"I don't know, Buffy. When it comes to men, they can be stupid about this kind of stuff." Willow said gently.
"Well, why can't he be smarter? It's just so frustrating!" Buffy sighed once again.
"Buffy, just be yourself tomorrow. Spike will see how truly amazing you are, and if he doesn't, I'll beat him up for you." Willow joked.
""Thank you, Willow, and I'm sorry I woke you up. I'll let you get some sleep." said Buffy.
"No problem, but the next time you want to have a late night chat, make it not so late, kay?" asked Willow as a yawn escaped her.
"Okay" Buffy said as she laughed softly.
"Night, Buffy"
"Good-night, Willow"
And with that Buffy hung up the phone. She tried to go back to sleep, but she failed. So she continued her tossing and turning until, eventually, she was overcome by fatigue. Tomorrow was going to be a very long day.....
To be continued
