Disclaimer: They are mine. And if you believe that, I have a bridge I'd
like to sell you.
Author: Catgurl83
Title: Shocking News
Feedback: Makes my day.
Author's notes: Thanks to everyone who has voted! If you haven't voted yet, you have until Aug. 30. Please take the time to let your voice be heard. So far, Ruthie is going to live, but those that don't want her to live can still catch up! Depending on the reception I get, I might do something like this is a later story.
Thanks so much to Kimberly for betaing this story for me! You've been a huge help!
***********
Simon's POV
***********
My parents just stepped into the room. Their expression says it all. The procedure has begun. I can tell that they are hopeful and scared to death all at once.
They wordlessly cross the waiting room and sit down on the small sofa near the window. They link hands and my mother turns to stare at the clock.
I tried that earlier. It doesn't help. If anything, it seems to make time go by even slower.
I look around the packed waiting room. The Colonel and Grandma Ruth are sitting together; each of them has a magazine in their hands. I don't know how they can read at a time like this but they seem to be doing fine.
Lucy and Kevin are both on the floor playing with David and Sam. They are building some sort of elaborate structure out of Lego's. It is taking up almost a foot of floor space.
Uncle Hank is looking over a medical journal while Aunt Julie fills in a crossword puzzle. Erica is at home with a sitter. Every few minutes Aunt Julie glances over at my parents. She looks very concerned. Uncle Hank is concerned too but he is hiding it better. I wonder if they know something that I don't? Just how much chance is there that Ruthie will die?
Mary is pretending to read a novel. I know that she is just pretending because the book is upside down. She keeps glancing up over the cover at our parents.
Chandler and Roxanne look a bit uncomfortable. Like they don't quiet know how to fit in but feel like they should be here to lend us their support. I don't know if Chandler will ever be completely comfortable around my father. There will always be sort of a rivalry between them.
Cecilia was here but I sent her down to the cafeteria to pick something up. I just can't handle being around her right now, she knows me too well. She knows how I think and feel. I don't want or need her pity if something happens to Ruthie.
Matt and Sarah are still with Charlie.
I stand up abruptly. I need air. The air in this room is too thick; it is suffocating me.
Everyone appears startled as I quickly exit the room. Mary gets up to follow me but then she sits back down. I guess she realized that I need time alone.
I quickly make my way down the familiar sterile halls that surround me. I feel like I could negotiate this maze blindfolded. I haven't visited Ruthie since the night she was admitted but I come here often. I find myself wandering these long, barren halls desperately wanting to see Ruthie but avoiding her room at all costs. I just can't see her. I couldn't handle that.
I step out through the automatic doors and take a breath of the clear, crisp air. Birds chirp cheerfully as I walk over to an empty bench and sit down facing a grouping of trees. I am in a small garden in the center of the buildings. It is used for patient walks, staff breaks, and visitors that just need to escape like me.
None of us want to admit how worried we are. We know that this transplant was and is Ruthie's only chance. But we also know that there are a lot of risks for a patient as sick as Ruthie. Even if we didn't know it, all we'd have to do is look at Uncle Hank, Sarah, and Matt. Their apprehension is obvious. They are afraid that Ruthie will die. They think it is a definite possibility.
I have to wonder again, why Ruthie? Out of all of the people in the world, millions and millions of people, my sister has to be stricken with a terrible, potentially deadly disease.
And why leukemia? After I found out about Deena and her fight with the disease, I never thought I'd hear that dreaded word again. I certainly didn't think that someone else I loved would have it. But now, Ruthie has it and there is nothing I can do. Ruthie is having a bone marrow transplant right now and for all I know, could already be dead, but there isn't anything that I can do.
God, how I hate feeling like this. I'm helpless. I am on the outside watching this horrible killer murder my sister from the inside out and there is nothing that I can do. I am completely and utterly helpless.
**********
Mary's POV
**********
Simon just rushed out of here as if he was running away from a fire. Or in this case an emotional demon. He doesn't seem to know that the demon is just going to follow him. He can't get away from it. None of us can, so there is no use trying. Because in this case, the demon is reality and there is no escaping reality. It always gives chase. I know.
In the past, I tried to run from reality. It never worked. In fact, things usually got worse. I hope it isn't like that for Simon.
We have all being trying to reach him. To help him. None of us has had any success. He has even withdrawn from Cecilia.
I am very worried about Simon, especially today. What happens today has the potential to help him get better or to make him worse. So much worse. I don't know if he'll be able to take it if she dies. But then, will any of us be able to take it?
If Ruthie were to die, we'd all need each other. And even now, it is as if we are all together but separate. We are all here together for the same reason. Yet, we aren't really together, we have all withdrawn into ourselves. When Simon ran out of here, I am the only one that even started to go after him.
I just hope that we can survive if Ruthie leaves us today.
*************
Matt's POV
************
I look up at the clock on the wall. The procedure is about a third of the way through. No one has come to talk to Sarah and I so I can only assume that Ruthie is still fighting; that there is still a chance.
I turn back to my daughter. Charlie is lying still in her hospital crib. She is so pale. She has an IV in her arm still. And yet, as bad as the baby looks, she still looks twenty times better than Ruthie did this morning when I saw her. When I said. goodbye.
Goodbye. Even thinking that word hurts. I said goodbye to my youngest sister today. I hope that it wasn't for the last time.
Even if Ruthie survives today, the fight isn't over. She could still reject the marrow. Or she could get an infection. Or, the transplant might not work. Ruthie's leukemia might flare up again. She had a particularly aggressive type of the disease.
She could be fighting this thing for years. Possibly, for the rest of her life.
This has been hard for her in so many ways. Not only has she had to deal with having what could be a deadly disease but she had to deal with those she cared about pulling away from her.
For the first couple of weeks, her friends came by a lot. She had friends here almost all visiting hours. But then, they started coming less and less. And now, well, I haven't seen one of her "friends" in weeks. Even Peter stopped coming. But Peter, at least, calls the house everyday to check on Ruthie's condition. The others don't even bother to do that.
And, she lost her hair. That part was so difficult for her. She cried the day that the first clump of her hair fell out. She wanted no part of wearing a wig.
And now, on top of all of that, if Ruthie lives, she might be facing surgery. The doctor told us yesterday that Ruthie's spleen is still abnormally large. It hasn't shrunk nearly as much as it needs to. The doctor thinks that he is going to need to remove it. Only Mom, Dad, and I know. We just couldn't tell Ruthie. Not so soon before her bone marrow transplant. And we didn't want to frighten the others any more than they already are.
This isn't over. Not by a long shot.
**********
Author's note: Like it? Hate it? Review!
Author: Catgurl83
Title: Shocking News
Feedback: Makes my day.
Author's notes: Thanks to everyone who has voted! If you haven't voted yet, you have until Aug. 30. Please take the time to let your voice be heard. So far, Ruthie is going to live, but those that don't want her to live can still catch up! Depending on the reception I get, I might do something like this is a later story.
Thanks so much to Kimberly for betaing this story for me! You've been a huge help!
***********
Simon's POV
***********
My parents just stepped into the room. Their expression says it all. The procedure has begun. I can tell that they are hopeful and scared to death all at once.
They wordlessly cross the waiting room and sit down on the small sofa near the window. They link hands and my mother turns to stare at the clock.
I tried that earlier. It doesn't help. If anything, it seems to make time go by even slower.
I look around the packed waiting room. The Colonel and Grandma Ruth are sitting together; each of them has a magazine in their hands. I don't know how they can read at a time like this but they seem to be doing fine.
Lucy and Kevin are both on the floor playing with David and Sam. They are building some sort of elaborate structure out of Lego's. It is taking up almost a foot of floor space.
Uncle Hank is looking over a medical journal while Aunt Julie fills in a crossword puzzle. Erica is at home with a sitter. Every few minutes Aunt Julie glances over at my parents. She looks very concerned. Uncle Hank is concerned too but he is hiding it better. I wonder if they know something that I don't? Just how much chance is there that Ruthie will die?
Mary is pretending to read a novel. I know that she is just pretending because the book is upside down. She keeps glancing up over the cover at our parents.
Chandler and Roxanne look a bit uncomfortable. Like they don't quiet know how to fit in but feel like they should be here to lend us their support. I don't know if Chandler will ever be completely comfortable around my father. There will always be sort of a rivalry between them.
Cecilia was here but I sent her down to the cafeteria to pick something up. I just can't handle being around her right now, she knows me too well. She knows how I think and feel. I don't want or need her pity if something happens to Ruthie.
Matt and Sarah are still with Charlie.
I stand up abruptly. I need air. The air in this room is too thick; it is suffocating me.
Everyone appears startled as I quickly exit the room. Mary gets up to follow me but then she sits back down. I guess she realized that I need time alone.
I quickly make my way down the familiar sterile halls that surround me. I feel like I could negotiate this maze blindfolded. I haven't visited Ruthie since the night she was admitted but I come here often. I find myself wandering these long, barren halls desperately wanting to see Ruthie but avoiding her room at all costs. I just can't see her. I couldn't handle that.
I step out through the automatic doors and take a breath of the clear, crisp air. Birds chirp cheerfully as I walk over to an empty bench and sit down facing a grouping of trees. I am in a small garden in the center of the buildings. It is used for patient walks, staff breaks, and visitors that just need to escape like me.
None of us want to admit how worried we are. We know that this transplant was and is Ruthie's only chance. But we also know that there are a lot of risks for a patient as sick as Ruthie. Even if we didn't know it, all we'd have to do is look at Uncle Hank, Sarah, and Matt. Their apprehension is obvious. They are afraid that Ruthie will die. They think it is a definite possibility.
I have to wonder again, why Ruthie? Out of all of the people in the world, millions and millions of people, my sister has to be stricken with a terrible, potentially deadly disease.
And why leukemia? After I found out about Deena and her fight with the disease, I never thought I'd hear that dreaded word again. I certainly didn't think that someone else I loved would have it. But now, Ruthie has it and there is nothing I can do. Ruthie is having a bone marrow transplant right now and for all I know, could already be dead, but there isn't anything that I can do.
God, how I hate feeling like this. I'm helpless. I am on the outside watching this horrible killer murder my sister from the inside out and there is nothing that I can do. I am completely and utterly helpless.
**********
Mary's POV
**********
Simon just rushed out of here as if he was running away from a fire. Or in this case an emotional demon. He doesn't seem to know that the demon is just going to follow him. He can't get away from it. None of us can, so there is no use trying. Because in this case, the demon is reality and there is no escaping reality. It always gives chase. I know.
In the past, I tried to run from reality. It never worked. In fact, things usually got worse. I hope it isn't like that for Simon.
We have all being trying to reach him. To help him. None of us has had any success. He has even withdrawn from Cecilia.
I am very worried about Simon, especially today. What happens today has the potential to help him get better or to make him worse. So much worse. I don't know if he'll be able to take it if she dies. But then, will any of us be able to take it?
If Ruthie were to die, we'd all need each other. And even now, it is as if we are all together but separate. We are all here together for the same reason. Yet, we aren't really together, we have all withdrawn into ourselves. When Simon ran out of here, I am the only one that even started to go after him.
I just hope that we can survive if Ruthie leaves us today.
*************
Matt's POV
************
I look up at the clock on the wall. The procedure is about a third of the way through. No one has come to talk to Sarah and I so I can only assume that Ruthie is still fighting; that there is still a chance.
I turn back to my daughter. Charlie is lying still in her hospital crib. She is so pale. She has an IV in her arm still. And yet, as bad as the baby looks, she still looks twenty times better than Ruthie did this morning when I saw her. When I said. goodbye.
Goodbye. Even thinking that word hurts. I said goodbye to my youngest sister today. I hope that it wasn't for the last time.
Even if Ruthie survives today, the fight isn't over. She could still reject the marrow. Or she could get an infection. Or, the transplant might not work. Ruthie's leukemia might flare up again. She had a particularly aggressive type of the disease.
She could be fighting this thing for years. Possibly, for the rest of her life.
This has been hard for her in so many ways. Not only has she had to deal with having what could be a deadly disease but she had to deal with those she cared about pulling away from her.
For the first couple of weeks, her friends came by a lot. She had friends here almost all visiting hours. But then, they started coming less and less. And now, well, I haven't seen one of her "friends" in weeks. Even Peter stopped coming. But Peter, at least, calls the house everyday to check on Ruthie's condition. The others don't even bother to do that.
And, she lost her hair. That part was so difficult for her. She cried the day that the first clump of her hair fell out. She wanted no part of wearing a wig.
And now, on top of all of that, if Ruthie lives, she might be facing surgery. The doctor told us yesterday that Ruthie's spleen is still abnormally large. It hasn't shrunk nearly as much as it needs to. The doctor thinks that he is going to need to remove it. Only Mom, Dad, and I know. We just couldn't tell Ruthie. Not so soon before her bone marrow transplant. And we didn't want to frighten the others any more than they already are.
This isn't over. Not by a long shot.
**********
Author's note: Like it? Hate it? Review!
