A/N : Thanx to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter - JnR 4eva, SpIkEs AnGeL (You had me worried for a minute there! Thanx for lending Spike to me, I'm amazed I got any writing done at all ;-)), fashiongrrl (Rest of the gang? Will and Xand's absence was explained...), Rachel (have faith in my love of Spuffy :-)), theoneandonlygurl (more Spuffy later, I promise) - you guys all rock! Oh, and VaderJM, you probably won't read this anyway, but I'd just like to say, if you don't like my story don't read it, it doesn't bother me either way. Tissues at the ready for the end of this chapter, you have been warned and I also apologise in advance...
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 8 - Research, Reactions, and Remorse
"Good morning, girls" Jessica greeted them with a smile as she answered the knocking at the front door only to find Buffy and Cordelia there.
"Hey, Ms Hart" Cordy smiled when her friend seemed to be making no real effort to talk, "We came to see Giles and Spike too actually" she lowered her tone to a whisper ad leant in to add, "it's kind of a Hellmouthy thing"
"Oh, I see" Jessica nodded, "Come inside"
The two girls did, with a smile, and were surprised by how quiet the house was.
"Where is everybody?" Buffy asked and Cordelia was pleased to finally hear her voice after so much silence.
"My family have gone into town" the soon to be Mrs Giles explained, "Doyle went for a walk too, Spike only rolled out of bed a few minutes ago, and Rupert is in the kitchen" she told the two girls, before telling them to sit down at the recently cleared dining room table whilst she fetched the men of the house.
Giles soon emerged from the kitchen and Jessica made her way up the stairs to find her son who appeared to have drowned in the sink or something, given the amount of time he'd spent in the bathroom.
"Jessica tells me we have a demon of some kind to contend with" Giles said as he came to sit with his Slayer and her friend.
"More like a riddle to contend with" Buffy explained, handing the paper Angel had given her Watcher. He read the passage with a frown on his face before asking the question Buffy had been dreading.
"Where did you get this?"
"From Angel" she said quietly almost at the exact same moment Spike entered the room.
"We still talking about him?" the bleach blonde complained as he came to sit on the fourth seat at the table, opposite Buffy.
"You knew about this and you didn't bother to tell me last night?" Giles snapped at his son who simply shrugged.
"You were 'entertaining the guests'" he air-quoted, "Didn't' think you want me to come storming in on your polite chat with 'oh by the way Dad, Buffy's great git of an ex is back in town and a demon's about to attack the lot of us'"
Giles rolled his eyes at his son's attitude before going back to the piece of paper he'd been reading. Spike's eyes fell on Buffy but her gaze was locked down at her lap and Cordy felt bad for both of them.
Jessica came back to the room and read the prophetic writing that Giles held in his hand. She sighed as she decided she wasn't going to be much use in this. She never was when it came to demons and the like.
"I'm going to get on with the housework" she told her soon to be husband, kissing his cheek, "I'll leave you to the hellmouth stuff"
He smiled as she left him alone with the three young people.
"Well, I think we need to get some books out and start researching what kind of demon we might be dealing with, also the latest newspapers, it may be that we can track down some articles about new arrivals in town or strange occurrences..."
He got triplicate nods from the people seated at the table as they got up and moved to fetch what they needed, Buffy making an effort not to go near Spike, him trying to get close to her and Cordelia going silently crazy because she was stuck in the middle of it all.
Giles started to notice something was wrong when two hours passed and still he had not been completely embarrassed to the point of leaving the room by his son and the Slayer's public displays of affection that they were usually so fond of. In fact he realised they had barely spoken two words to each other and he was curious to know why. He may not have been a real father to him for long, but Spike was still his son and Buffy was practically like a daughter to him and he disliked seeing them looking so unhappy. The first opportunity he got, he took Buffy to one side, knowing she would be much more reasonable and probably more forthcoming with information than his own son.
"Buffy, I don't want you to think I'm prying, it's just you and Spike don't seem as, er, close as usual, is anything wrong?"
"No" she answered too fast and he knew as well as she did it was a lie, "well, it's nothing really, just Angel and stuff" she shrugged. There was no way she was going to admit kissing the souled vampire last night and besides that wasn't the reason Spike was being weird with her, only the reason she was nervous around him.
"Well, if there's anything you need to talk about, anything I can help with at all..." Giles told her, "I may be Spike's father but I'd also like to think, well..."
Buffy smiled and nodded, she knew precisely what he meant. He was her father too, in every way that it counted and she loved that he cared so much.
"Thankyou" she said, accompanied by her first genuine smile since she'd arrived at the house, "but I don't think even your advice could help me at the moment"
"Well, perhaps not" he conceded, "I can't say I know a great deal about teenage relationships, but I will say this" he said as he cleaned his glasses, "Communication is very important and you'll never get anywhere avoiding one another. It was through lack of communication that I lost Jessica for so many years and missed out on Spike growing up. Just try talking to him about whatever's on your mind, I know it's not easy, he can be quite stubborn and very often unwilling to listen but, it's worth a try"
"I think you know more about relationships than you think you do, Giles" Buffy told him with a smile as she walked back to the table to talk things out with Spike like she knew she must.
"Spike" she said quietly, managing to getting his attention from the book he was scanning, "I need to talk to you"
Both blondes glanced at Giles and Cordelia before silently agreeing to leave the room for their talk.
"We're just gonna take a short break" Spike told the other two before leading Buffy out through the kitchen and onto the back porch. The sun was as bright as ever it was and the sky was the kind of blue you only see in pictures and Buffy couldn't help but be reminded of a song her mother had on an old record 'the sun is out, the sky is blue, there's not a cloud to spoil the view but it's raining, raining in my heart' she thought with a frown as she sat down on the steps beside her boyfriend.
"So" Spike sighed, looking straight ahead as he spoke to the girl beside him, "Angel's back...what does that mean?"
"I don't know" Buffy replied in a quiet voice, looking down at her hands as they fidgeted near her bent knees, "I was in love with him once" she admitted and Spike felt as if she'd just delivered one of her Slayer kicks to his heart.
"And now?" he hardly dare ask, "Do you love him or me?" he had to know the answer despite the fact he dreaded it, and he stared at her until she finally looked over into his eyes.
"I'm in love with you" she assured him, "but..."
And there was the word Spike had truly been worried about, the 'but' after the declaration of love.
"...but I don't know what I feel for Angel" she admitted, tears in her eyes, "It's all mixed up in my head and I just, I wish it wasn't" she was almost crying and Spike knew she was probably hurting as much as he was, only thing was she was the only one who could take either of their pains away.
Neither knew what to say now. Buffy was sure she wouldn't be able to form words anyway, not without blubbering like a baby and ending up as much of a mess as she had been before, when she'd been crying on Cordelia's shoulder. Spike had a million thoughts in his head but didn't think any of them were appropriate to actually voice.
In the end he said the one neutral thing he could come up with.
"We should get back inside" he sighed as he stood up on the steps, "prophecy won't solve itself" he turned to re-enter the house and Buffy made him stop by calling his name.
"Spike, I don't want to hurt you" she told him, a lone tear falling down her cheek and despite the fact his back was to her, the crack in Buffy's voice was enough to make Spike wince, "I just want to be honest..."
"I know, luv" he nodded, still half way through the back door and now unsure as to whether he wanted to stay outside or go in.
"He kissed me" Buffy blurted out, "Angel, he came to see me last night and...I stopped him..but for a minute I..." it was a mixed up confession but the facts were all there and Spike felt sick when he heard those words. She hadn't said it in the right order but 'Angel kissed me last night' had escaped her lips and it was all she could say until she got some kind of response from her boyfriend.
Spike looked as if someone had hit his freeze-frame button, one hand on the door, one foot in front of the other in mid-step, half way across the threshold of the back door to his home.
Anger, sadness, rage and betrayal bubbled up inside the young man as he didn't move at all and Buffy was terrified about what his reaction might me. She wasn't scared of his temper, she knew she could handle any violent rage he could possibly have, but more than that she knew he'd never deliberately hurt her anyway, he simply loved her too much for that. What was frightening Buffy was how much she might have hurt him. It was only one kiss and something she had stopped, but being in love meant such a great deal, and especially to Spike, she knew he would feel so betrayed by her now.
Buffy physically jumped when Spike finally moved. His motion being forwards and into the house, without a word or a sound of any kind.
Standing up as fast as she could, Buffy hurried on shaky legs to follow him into the house, wiping her face with her hand as she went. The dining room was now empty, save for the books and she watched from a couple of feet away as her boyfriend scooped up the book he'd been reading before and one other, before hurrying upstairs to is bedroom. She heard the door slam shut and promptly burst into tears. She'd thought talking about it would make it better, it had only made things worse.
To Be Continued...
[Coming Soon : Oh Brother! - Chapter 8 - Remember the Day (1987)]
