A/N : Finally got this chapter finished, it's fairly long and involved so it took a while. Before we get into it though, I want to thank everyone who reviewed; DiStUrBeD-GuRl*57, SouthernRain, lilpuff, Rachel, Michelle, SpIkEs AnGeL, theoneandonlygurl, SweetBitter. I'm so glad I have all you guys hooked, and the fun isn't over yet, not by a long shot! Oh, and thanks also to Aleesha, who reviewed - she gets her own seperate shout-out today, just for being her! Okay, that's all I have to say so here's the new chapter, and Doyle's explanation...
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 12 - The Real Me
"Just tell us what's going on, mate" Spike said to Doyle as he sat back down and Buffy resumed her position on his knee. The occupants of the table all re-took their seats as Doyle remained standing and began his explanation.
"It was just a few months back when I realised I was partly...like my Dad" he stammered uncomfortably, looking mostly at his shoes, and occasionally at those he spoke to, "He'd always known he was different, but he didn't tell my mam the truth til after they were married and I was on the way. She resented him for keeping it from her and she knew the likelihood was I'd be part Brachen too. I think, if it wasn't for the fact she was pregnant she'd have left my Dad but she couldn't handle a child and a house and all, especially in what was a foreign country to her. When I got older, I noticed they fought a lot and when I was thirteen my father sat me down for the big talk. I thought we were gonna do the old birds and bees bit, but when he told me I might have the demon in my blood...I was petrified at first, but he made me understand that the Brachen race wasn't evil, they were peaceful, even the pure ones. His father was demon, his mother was human, so no-one was sure if I'd have it in me at all. It was just a year after that Dad passed on...despite all the upset mam was pretty much devastated"
"I remember" Giles chipped in, "I came over for the funeral"
"You did" Doyle nodded, "and I was glad she had someone to lean on. We held it together for a while, fine til I realised that I had that demon element in me...up until I was seventeen I thought I'd got away with it but one night I went to this club, some blokes started with this girl who wasn't interested, I told them to leave off but then they turned on me. I got so angry, I just flipped and it was only when they ran screaming I realised what had happened..."
"The demon face" Angel stated more than guessed, knowing that anger could bring forth his own game-face without him even thinking about it.
"Yeah, not a pretty sight...anyway I managed to force it back after a while, taught myself to bring it forth and push it back, me mam never knew thats why I spent so long in the bathroom in front of the mirror, she just thought I was your average vain teenage boy"
"You didn't tell her about it?" Buffy asked with a frown, knowing how hard it was keeping something so huge from your family, she'd done it herself, hiding her Slayer status from her mom and Dawn.
"How could I?" Doyle shook his head, "The one thing she hated about Dad was that his blood line was half 'tainted'. If I'd told her I was the same...well, eventually I had to cos it got worse" he admitted.
"Worse?" Spike asked, wide-eyed. Finding out you were part demon must be bad enough whatever could make it worse was a mystery to him.
"Couple of months back...I thought I going crazy when it happened the first time...I saw something...like a vision, pictures and noise, like a TV show but only in my head. It was a pub that I'd been to before, and a girl. I didn't know what it meant but I went to find out. The girl was sitting by the bar when I came in and I went to sit a few stools down. She seemed normal and happy, then her bloke came in, they were getting sort of friendly and then they went outside. Now I'm not the kind of man to get in the way of two people and whatever they want to do in the alley behind a building, but after seeing this girl in my head, well, I knew there had to be a reason. I followed them, they were kissing and such, he had her up against the side of the building. I was close enough to make out their faces in the dark, but only just...and his wasn't so smooth all of a sudden..."
"A vampire" Buffy knew what he meant and Doyle nodded that she was right.
"Well, I got him away from the girl, beat him up a bit, managed to stake him but the girl had already run, it was only after that I realised I'd...changed, must've scared her half to death"
"But you saved her" Giles said encouragingly, "that was very brave"
"Maybe" Doyle shrugged, "Anyway, after I went home, I completely freaked out about the whole thing and decided to come clean with my mother. It wasn't pretty. When she knew I had the demon in me it was bad enough, but she thought I had some kind of evil curse when I told her about the vision. Long and the short of it is, she threw me out. Said she didn't want something as unclean as me in her house"
"That's awful" Buffy gasped, feeling terrible for him. She didn't know what she would have done if her family hadn't understood about her being the Slayer. She clung to Spike, suddenly even more grateful than ever for him and everyone else in her life who loved her. He noticed her arms tighten and knew why as he absently rubbed her back with his hand.
"I can believe that of Sarah" Giles nodded, thinking of his sister and how anti-Watcher she was, never mind demons.
"Well, I stayed at a mates house for a few weeks but I knew I was out staying my welcome. Mam was still forwarding my mail onto me and I got your invite to the wedding. I figured I could hang around here for a while, then worry about what I'd do next after that...I never expected you to all know, Mam never told me you were Watcher to the Slayer"
"Looks as if we've all had a bit of surprise today then" Spike piped up, wondering if he would have been more shocked by Doyle's revelation, if he hadn't spent the last few months learning that his girlfriend was the Slayer, his father was a Watcher, and that Buffy's ex was a vampire!
"Well" Giles sighed, cleaning his glasses yet again, he'd already done so at least three times during Doyle's little speech, "I suppose before we get into anything else we should work out what this prophecy says about you, given that it does seem likely it's you it speaks of"
Everyone agreed to the Watchers suggestion and he took the paper from his nephew. Doyle was now looking at Cordelia. She had remained silent throughout and the Irishman/demon had been too afraid even to look at her. He liked her, a lot, and he was hoping she might like him too, but the way she'd flinched as he walked past her and now the way she couldn't even bring herself to look at him nevermind speak to him, it confirmed his fear that the demon element of him would repel her, that she'd never love him, probably wouldn't ever even like him now.
" 'Not of evil, yet devil made, hybrid creature, his part to be played' " Giles read aloud just as Buffy had done in the cemetery the night before, "That certainly sounds as if it might be you" the Watcher said with a nod.
"What about the rest?" Spike asked, unable to remember for himself what the rest of the words said.
" 'Link to masters of our fate, twenty years from bearing date, to bring assistance to inhuman souled, he shalt be a warrior bold' " his father read the second and final line, "Well, inhuman souled is quite clearly Angel" Giles reasoned, glancing at the vamp in question and then back at his nephew, "Oh I'm sorry" he suddenly shook his head, "You two haven't been properly introduced..."
"I think I know what I need to know about him" Angel half-smiled, "He's the guy I came here to see"
"He's a vampire?" Doyle frowned jerking his thumb toward Angel and looking strangely at Buffy.
"Vampire with a soul" she told him, "We used to be...well, he used to live around here and help us fight the evil" she explained badly, glancing only briefly at the 'man' in question before lowering her eyes.
"I'm guessing" Angel said as he took the piece of paper from Giles' hands, "that you're twenty years old?"
"Yeah" Doyle nodded, "Got the first vision a week after my birthday"
"So really the prophecy's gotta be about you" Spike shrugged, "Can't see you'd get a coincidence this big, not even on the Hellmouth"
Again Doyle was not completely listening as he studied Cordelia. She kept her eyes on the table for the most part and only glanced at Doyle when she was sure he wasn't looking at her. She'd come to quite like the young man this past week or so and knowing that he'd lied to her was painful...
"'Masters of our fate'" Buffy repeated the phrase, "so the visions come from the Powers That Be, right?"
"Seems that way" Angel agreed, "Presumably we're supposed to work together, me and Doyle. I mean, he sees people in danger and I help people in danger..."
"...and he's got no place to go" Spike continued for him, "Like it was all planned, ain't it?"
"It kind of was" Buffy pointed out to him, "The Powers know what they're doing"
"So what happens now?" Giles asked, "I mean, it seems the Powers expect you to go to LA with Angel" he told Doyle.
"I s'pose you can't argue with the Powers" he shrugged "and besides, I want to put my gift to good use, I don't want to see it as a curse...though I doubt any of you will look at me the same again" he said sadly, looking pointedly at Cordelia who looked as if she might cry.
"Of course we do" Buffy shook her head, "You're still you, and you're a nice guy and everything...nothing's really changed"
"Everything has changed" Cordelia said quietly, her tears finally falling down her cheeks as she ran from the room and out of the front door. Buffy stood up from Spike's lap and they both moved to go after her but Doyle had already gone.
"Cordy!" he yelled behind her, Buffy and Spike watched from the open front door as he bolted down the street behind her.
"Should we go with them?" Buffy asked her boyfriends opinion, "It could be dangerous out there at this time of night"
"Leave them be, luv" Spike suggested, "it's not like they don't know what could be out there" he pointed out, "I think they just need time to talk"
"Cordelia, please wait!" Doyle continued to call to her as she barrelled down the road at top speed, turning suddenly and sharply into the graveyard. Amongst the headstones and the shadows they made, it was almost impossible for him to know where she'd gone. He called her name again, despite the fact he knew that would probably only make her more likely to run and hide. He'd never meant to hurt her, of all people. He really liked her, thought he was probably falling in love with her, and now it hurt so much that she seemed to hate him. He knew her pain, however, must be greater, her disgust probably even greater than that.
Suddenly there was a scream that rang out across the cemetery and Doyle knew instantly it was Cordelia in distress. Following the sounds of her screams he ran across the ground and round behind a mausoleum. A vampire, a large and very nasty looking one, had his precious girl against the wall and was moving in to bite her. Ordinarily the brunette would have put up a decent fight and she knew how to handle a stake, Buffy had taught her friend well, but she'd been distressed and confused and not paying full attention - it had almost cost her life, almost.
With a mighty roar, Doyles anger exploded and brought his Brachen face and strength to the surface. He tore the vampires arms from Cordelia and proceeded to wail on him, punch after punch, until the vamp was momentarily on the ground. It gave him the precious seconds he needed to grab a branch from a nearby tree. Before the vampire could make it back to his feet, he was dust.
Breathing heavily, Doyle began to calm down but he knew the demon face would still be there. He desperately wanted to go to Cordelia who stood huddled against the wall, crying and shaking, he wanted to hold her and tell he it was all over now, but he daren't go near her looking like this. He turned his face from her view and just listened as her sobbing subsided and she became much calmer.
Cordelia looked at the floor where the vamp had been, now where only dust remained. She glanced at Doyle's back, just a few feet away. She knew why he wouldn't look at her, he was ashamed of the face he wore right now, but she had to know if it was so bad. During the fight things had moved to fast that she'd barely noticed he'd changed, now she needed to know.
Tentatively she made the few steps needed to bring her right up behind him. Her hand reached out to his shoulder and tugged to make him turn around, but he wouldn't.
"I'm sorry, princess" he said quietly, "I never wanted to upset you"
"If you want me to accept your apology" she said just as softly, "Why don't you look at me when you say it"
The shock that she would ask made him turn anyway, without thinking, his demon face still visible for her to see. His features were still his own, but pale green, and with blue spines sticking out all over.
Cordelia forced herself not to look shocked and was surprised at the very little amount of force she had to use. She'd seen a lot of demons, all different kinds, and some of them had been extremely ugly, maybe if she'd seen a random Brachen demon she might have thought the same thing, but this wasn't a demon, it was Doyle. His eyes were the same and that's what she focused on, that and the words that still reached her ears in that same voice.
"You don't want to see me like this" he shook his head and turned away, willing his human guise to come back which it did, "You probably don't want to see me at all..."
"Hey" Cordelia interrupted, pulling him by the shoulders til he looked at her again, "I was upset" she admitted, "but not because of what you are" she assured him, "It hurt that you didn't tell me the truth, but then I guess you weren't too sure how I'd react. I haven't exactly been little miss honesty either" she admitted, "at least not when it comes to my feelings"
"Your feelings?" Doyle echoed, unsure as to what the girl meant and getting shivers from the fact that her hands were still on his arms.
"Yes" she nodded, "I wasn't sure about it before, I thought I might like you but I was afraid of what that meant...when you admitted the truth about yourself, it hurt so much that you hadn't told me before, but it also scared me that it bothered me so much. I wouldn't have cared that you kept it from me if I didn't care about you" she looked away shyly as she finished what she was saying and Doyle realised she'd been talking in the past tense. Maybe she had liked him but how could she now?
"So what happens now?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer.
"I don't know" Cordy admitted, her hands falling from his shoulders as she turned her back to him and looked up at the night sky, "I guess we carry on where we left off, see what happens"
"Where we left off?" he repeated and Cordy turned around with a sigh.
"My God, you sure you're not half parrot too?" she almost laughed, "You keep repeating everything I say!"
"Everything you say?" he frowned before his face broke out into a smile, and they both laughed. Cordy swatted his arm, before using the backs of her hands to wipe the old tears from her face.
After a moment the laughter died and Cordelia looked perfectly serious as she stepped closer to him, "Y'know I should say thankyou" she smiled, "You saved my life just now"
"And I should say sorry again" he realised, "Not for saving your life obviously" he corrected himself, "but for keeping things from you, lying, and putting you in danger in the first place..."
"Hey, enough of that" Cordelia silenced him with a finger on his lips, "You apologised and I accepted it, end of" she told him, moving her hand away from his face again as she realised what she was doing, for a moment there eyes locked together.
"When you said, we should start from where we left off" Doyle said quietly, looking deep into her eyes, "what exactly did you..." he was cut off by her lips on his, a kiss that was more spectacular than the one they'd shared yesterday in the kitchen of his Uncle's house, because this time he knew she meant it. She knew his true self and she wasn't afraid or disgusted, she still liked him and she'd actually kissed him, answering his half-asked question in the most perfect way possible.
To Be Continued...
[Next update will be on 'Oh Brother!' - look out for Chapter 12 of that story in a couple of days]
