The Legend of Wario Ware
9-Volt
Surgeon Generals Warning: All characters are respective copyrights and all that jiggity jazz except in the case of....Maybe if you read the previous 2 surgeon general warnings then I wouldn't have to repeat myself every chapter....
Surgeon Generals Warning: All characters are respective copyrights and all that jiggity jazz except in the case of....Maybe if you read the previous 2 surgeon general warnings then I wouldn't have to repeat myself every chapter....
Hilarious Mind games aside....
BRRRRIIIIING!
The Diamond Elementary School Bell rung....rang....ringed....the point is it made the noise signifieing school was out. That's all that matters. And we focus here on one particular student 9-Volt. who majestically skates out of the schoolyard and past the dinosaur holding a sign. Its best not to ask. 9-Volt went to his home and turned on some lights and some lights and stuff showing off to nobody whatsoever that he was a true blue Nintendo fan...despite the fact that he doesn't wear blue and that there wasn't nobody in the house. Yes i used a double negative there so hush.
"Quite and interesting collection you have here 9-Volt..."
9-Volt turned around to see that guy from the last 2 chapters....Derek! How's that for suspense?
"Hey you must be Derek!"
This is the part where the obvious is pointed out after I've stated it.
Then the boring introductions which I shouldn't bother to tell you and we'll skip whatsoever.
"Well at least its nice to meet another positive-outlook-toward-Donkey-Konga fan!" Derek said. "What are to talking about? I'm not even going to RENT it! I'm not THAT big of a Nintendo fan boy!" "But you were saying how nice it was for games to take a break form their original plot..." "I meant like in Yoshi's Island you have to save Baby Luigi and not Peach or in Majora's Mask where you have to save time rather then the Triforce. Not abandoning bananas for a stupid drum!" "I dunno its selling pretty well in Japan..." "JAPAN? Well I cant argue with that.... I retract my last paragraph.""Make with the games already!" "Right! Step this way."
So they stepped that way over to a rather large Game Boy. "I call it the Reality Boy!" "Please explain!" "Iintend too! See a person must step inside the battery dealy and you'll be sucked into the game. See without a cartridge of sorts you'll find yourself in a Zelda-esque land. Now due to my plot-altering programming you can only get out if you clear the 24 cartridges I have prepared. Each cartridge has been modified so it appears as if your the hero of the game. I've only been able to put very small bits and pieces of games into each however so they shouldn't take that long Ill even jump in with you because I can." "Well then who'll change the cartridges?" "My pet something! Shag!" A little yellow dealy with a Bart Simpson hair cut ran up to the duo. "Is that Bart Simpson?" "You would not BELIEVE how many people say that!" "How many?" "Zero. You're the 1st. Congrats." With that settled 9-Volt and Derek got into the battery dealy and the Reality Boy turned on. The annoying word of the chapter is BZZT! Just so ya know.
BZZT! Balloon Fight! Derek had to dodge some gravity-defieing sparks to get to the other side. BZZT! Duck Hunt! Its really self explanatory. You shoot the duck. Then you glare at the dog wishing it were dead.... With them big doggy eyes...those long ears...that annoying laugh...Why must he laugh? Its not MY fault I missed the shot! What? Sorry. BZZT!KZZT!SPLZZT! "What's going on? And was that last one even a sound effect?" "Uh-Oh.." "Uh-Oh What?" "This must be the test cartridge. That screws up the Reality Boy. Were going to out of control in a sec." And so the RB did start fritzing around the room. The only thing to do was to hope Shag could stick the Virus Free Cartridge in without breaking anything. And with an amazingly tight grasp for a 2-inch creature Shag grabbed the RB by the screen and stuck in the Virus Free Cartridge. BZZT! "Haha! All back to normal! OK Shag you can stick in the next one.Ó BZZT! Donkey Kong! A Classic Jump-over-the-barrel move was all it took to clear this game.
BZZT! F-Zero! Zoom! Swish! Florf! All those speedy sound effects mean that it was instantly cleared within seconds due to the fact that the F-Zero cars are fast and fast. BZZT! That Keyboard Thing! Derek reviewed his recently gained typing skills and hit those buttons like Santa on a Keebler diet! Ignoring the nonsensical phrase I just now said people say I need some keyboarding skills. But that's just not true. I am the MASTER of it all when it comes to speeling. BZZT! Super Mario Bros. A bit of Goomba squashing here. Kind of like back in that one thing in the Tutorial Chapter. BZZT! The Ultra Hand! Grabbing a ball with careful precision! It takes much practice for one to master this. You must be skilled at coordination and speed. You must oh wait Derek cleared it already lets keep going.
BZZT! Chiritorie! Or however it be spelled! Unbeknownst to many a people this thing actually existed. I don't have one but you know the game says it does so it MUST be true. BZZT! Laser McSomething or Other! Not being the most coordinated sharp shooter in the west Derek missed the target several a-time. 9-Volt had or jump in and take the shot. BZZT! HoganÕs Alley! Featuring Hollywood Hulk Hogan.Wait no it doesn't. Hmmmm the guns should've really tipped me off on that one. BZZT! Fly Swatter! Haha! Utilizing the power of smacking bugs constantly and his fear of insects itself Derek was able to smack multiple flies down.
BZZT! Ice Climbers! The catchy music helped not to slip over the ice and reach the top of the high dangerous mountain. BZZT! The Legend of Zelda! Quite an easy one this was. Basically Derek just had to enter a nearby cave. BZZT! Sheriff! Wait...Sheriff? Oh i remember you! A trophy from Super Smash Bros. Melee you were. So hard to get! Had to beat everyone's Total Target Test Time in under 25 minutes I recall. Yes you were quite the toughie. Well we can just skip you all to ..drat it! Derek beat it before I could finish the sentence again! BZZT! Dr.Mario! Line up the Pills with the Viruses in hot Virus on Pill Action! Ill stop now....
BZZT! Racing 112! Looks kind of pathetic there... I mean the graphics are just SO out of style. Fashion Alert! Um right the continuing. BZZT! Mario Clash! Now here's a rare one! I remember back in the day when Mario Clash was all the rage! Then people lost their eyes which was also cool back in my day too. I kind of lied back there but who's counting? Helmet! A true classic! A Game and Watch Unit these days are about as hard to find as a whatever the heck Shag is! BZZT! Urban Champion! Although it probably would be illegal to true it these days this is a pretty cool game. With the kicking and the punching and the falling down the sewers!
You know...I'M getting a bit tired having to say BZZT! Ever so often! Lets make it more interesting! Ill replace the sound effects with nonsensical words! Just don't call the cops on me or anything.
JORB! ROB the Robot! Can he fix it? ROB the Robot! No not really. He just dropped the stack of circles... way to go Butterfingers! BORT! Metroid! Speaking of have you heard about that new remake thing their making? Supposedly its to have a surprise ending. How's that for a remake? FOOF! Wild Gunman! What I find this game to be so amazing is that it had a cameo in Back to the Future Part 2. Great movie it be. In my opinion its the best of the series. MLACK! Laser dealy! This is also an odd one seeing as how your shooting lasers through a TV Screen. I hope one day to obtain laser vision.
"Well that was a great run through eh 9-Volt?" "Indeed! I'm just glad there wasn't some idiot narrating witty phrases throughout that action-packed adventure! Cause if you missed it then your stupid!" Why is it now I hate my life so?
Ah but outside the Reality Boy...Shag appeared to be knocked out. While a mysterious figure inserted a multi-colored cartridge inside. Suspense is rising! Ooooooo! The Zelda-esque World started to grow dark. "Oh my God! The battery is running out! Were going to be DELETED!" "Pipe down! If I know my own creation then we cant ever die in here. We just go to sleep for some time. But going to nighttime? That shouldn't happen ever ever ever. Ever." "I get the general idea..." "I know I just like saying 'ever'" "Why?" "Don't change the subject." "After a moment or two of darkness something dropped out of the sky. Looked like a giant pitching machine. It had 10 balls!....Stop laughing! That's not what I meant! "A pitching machine causing all this? 9-Volt what's going on?" "I dunno but if its the true cause then this is about as low as creating the 27th letter of the alphabet just by flipping a current one upside-down."
9-Volt grabbed a baseball bat swung it some and got ready to hit some homers. then maybe hit some barts and marges. All right that was pretty stupid, I'm just trying to lighten the situation here. Well the only basic description I can give you is that 9-Volt hit baseballs.And he kinda won. Don't look at m like that how do you expect me to go all paragraph-like for a boss that just a stinking pitching machine? I mean, the pendulum back in the Tutorial was a lot more action-packed then this.
"Well now that you've defeated the 'boss' how do e get out?" "Simple!" Narration plot hole! Whoosh! "What the? How'd did we-?" "Stop talking its my turn. Anyway. I want to congratulate you for clearing the games and beating the boss!" "But you-" "9-Volt SLAP!" "I defeated the boss!" "Indeed! Now then Give me that custom GBA thingy so I can upload a game to it." 2 seconds pass... "Done! I've uploaded your own portable version of Chiritorie. However Jimmy hacked into it beforehand and I've never been able tog et rid of the T-Virus.....but I've got him right where I want him! Oh yes! I have his cat!" Just then Ken the Reporter burst through the door ran up to 9-Volt and shouted all reporter like "The NEW Duel colored Onyx/Platinum GBA SP is here! Get yours today or your gonna be eating at Arby's!" Immediately 9-Volt got on his skateboard abandoned Derek, and arrived at the store. But that's another story. And so we close of tonight's episode with Derek winning a batch of classic Nintendo games. Which of the 2...really 3 remaining developers will he beseech to next? Find out next week! I cant guarantee that!
END 9-Volt
9-Volt
Surgeon Generals Warning: All characters are respective copyrights and all that jiggity jazz except in the case of....Maybe if you read the previous 2 surgeon general warnings then I wouldn't have to repeat myself every chapter....
Surgeon Generals Warning: All characters are respective copyrights and all that jiggity jazz except in the case of....Maybe if you read the previous 2 surgeon general warnings then I wouldn't have to repeat myself every chapter....
Hilarious Mind games aside....
BRRRRIIIIING!
The Diamond Elementary School Bell rung....rang....ringed....the point is it made the noise signifieing school was out. That's all that matters. And we focus here on one particular student 9-Volt. who majestically skates out of the schoolyard and past the dinosaur holding a sign. Its best not to ask. 9-Volt went to his home and turned on some lights and some lights and stuff showing off to nobody whatsoever that he was a true blue Nintendo fan...despite the fact that he doesn't wear blue and that there wasn't nobody in the house. Yes i used a double negative there so hush.
"Quite and interesting collection you have here 9-Volt..."
9-Volt turned around to see that guy from the last 2 chapters....Derek! How's that for suspense?
"Hey you must be Derek!"
This is the part where the obvious is pointed out after I've stated it.
Then the boring introductions which I shouldn't bother to tell you and we'll skip whatsoever.
"Well at least its nice to meet another positive-outlook-toward-Donkey-Konga fan!" Derek said. "What are to talking about? I'm not even going to RENT it! I'm not THAT big of a Nintendo fan boy!" "But you were saying how nice it was for games to take a break form their original plot..." "I meant like in Yoshi's Island you have to save Baby Luigi and not Peach or in Majora's Mask where you have to save time rather then the Triforce. Not abandoning bananas for a stupid drum!" "I dunno its selling pretty well in Japan..." "JAPAN? Well I cant argue with that.... I retract my last paragraph.""Make with the games already!" "Right! Step this way."
So they stepped that way over to a rather large Game Boy. "I call it the Reality Boy!" "Please explain!" "Iintend too! See a person must step inside the battery dealy and you'll be sucked into the game. See without a cartridge of sorts you'll find yourself in a Zelda-esque land. Now due to my plot-altering programming you can only get out if you clear the 24 cartridges I have prepared. Each cartridge has been modified so it appears as if your the hero of the game. I've only been able to put very small bits and pieces of games into each however so they shouldn't take that long Ill even jump in with you because I can." "Well then who'll change the cartridges?" "My pet something! Shag!" A little yellow dealy with a Bart Simpson hair cut ran up to the duo. "Is that Bart Simpson?" "You would not BELIEVE how many people say that!" "How many?" "Zero. You're the 1st. Congrats." With that settled 9-Volt and Derek got into the battery dealy and the Reality Boy turned on. The annoying word of the chapter is BZZT! Just so ya know.
BZZT! Balloon Fight! Derek had to dodge some gravity-defieing sparks to get to the other side. BZZT! Duck Hunt! Its really self explanatory. You shoot the duck. Then you glare at the dog wishing it were dead.... With them big doggy eyes...those long ears...that annoying laugh...Why must he laugh? Its not MY fault I missed the shot! What? Sorry. BZZT!KZZT!SPLZZT! "What's going on? And was that last one even a sound effect?" "Uh-Oh.." "Uh-Oh What?" "This must be the test cartridge. That screws up the Reality Boy. Were going to out of control in a sec." And so the RB did start fritzing around the room. The only thing to do was to hope Shag could stick the Virus Free Cartridge in without breaking anything. And with an amazingly tight grasp for a 2-inch creature Shag grabbed the RB by the screen and stuck in the Virus Free Cartridge. BZZT! "Haha! All back to normal! OK Shag you can stick in the next one.Ó BZZT! Donkey Kong! A Classic Jump-over-the-barrel move was all it took to clear this game.
BZZT! F-Zero! Zoom! Swish! Florf! All those speedy sound effects mean that it was instantly cleared within seconds due to the fact that the F-Zero cars are fast and fast. BZZT! That Keyboard Thing! Derek reviewed his recently gained typing skills and hit those buttons like Santa on a Keebler diet! Ignoring the nonsensical phrase I just now said people say I need some keyboarding skills. But that's just not true. I am the MASTER of it all when it comes to speeling. BZZT! Super Mario Bros. A bit of Goomba squashing here. Kind of like back in that one thing in the Tutorial Chapter. BZZT! The Ultra Hand! Grabbing a ball with careful precision! It takes much practice for one to master this. You must be skilled at coordination and speed. You must oh wait Derek cleared it already lets keep going.
BZZT! Chiritorie! Or however it be spelled! Unbeknownst to many a people this thing actually existed. I don't have one but you know the game says it does so it MUST be true. BZZT! Laser McSomething or Other! Not being the most coordinated sharp shooter in the west Derek missed the target several a-time. 9-Volt had or jump in and take the shot. BZZT! HoganÕs Alley! Featuring Hollywood Hulk Hogan.Wait no it doesn't. Hmmmm the guns should've really tipped me off on that one. BZZT! Fly Swatter! Haha! Utilizing the power of smacking bugs constantly and his fear of insects itself Derek was able to smack multiple flies down.
BZZT! Ice Climbers! The catchy music helped not to slip over the ice and reach the top of the high dangerous mountain. BZZT! The Legend of Zelda! Quite an easy one this was. Basically Derek just had to enter a nearby cave. BZZT! Sheriff! Wait...Sheriff? Oh i remember you! A trophy from Super Smash Bros. Melee you were. So hard to get! Had to beat everyone's Total Target Test Time in under 25 minutes I recall. Yes you were quite the toughie. Well we can just skip you all to ..drat it! Derek beat it before I could finish the sentence again! BZZT! Dr.Mario! Line up the Pills with the Viruses in hot Virus on Pill Action! Ill stop now....
BZZT! Racing 112! Looks kind of pathetic there... I mean the graphics are just SO out of style. Fashion Alert! Um right the continuing. BZZT! Mario Clash! Now here's a rare one! I remember back in the day when Mario Clash was all the rage! Then people lost their eyes which was also cool back in my day too. I kind of lied back there but who's counting? Helmet! A true classic! A Game and Watch Unit these days are about as hard to find as a whatever the heck Shag is! BZZT! Urban Champion! Although it probably would be illegal to true it these days this is a pretty cool game. With the kicking and the punching and the falling down the sewers!
You know...I'M getting a bit tired having to say BZZT! Ever so often! Lets make it more interesting! Ill replace the sound effects with nonsensical words! Just don't call the cops on me or anything.
JORB! ROB the Robot! Can he fix it? ROB the Robot! No not really. He just dropped the stack of circles... way to go Butterfingers! BORT! Metroid! Speaking of have you heard about that new remake thing their making? Supposedly its to have a surprise ending. How's that for a remake? FOOF! Wild Gunman! What I find this game to be so amazing is that it had a cameo in Back to the Future Part 2. Great movie it be. In my opinion its the best of the series. MLACK! Laser dealy! This is also an odd one seeing as how your shooting lasers through a TV Screen. I hope one day to obtain laser vision.
"Well that was a great run through eh 9-Volt?" "Indeed! I'm just glad there wasn't some idiot narrating witty phrases throughout that action-packed adventure! Cause if you missed it then your stupid!" Why is it now I hate my life so?
Ah but outside the Reality Boy...Shag appeared to be knocked out. While a mysterious figure inserted a multi-colored cartridge inside. Suspense is rising! Ooooooo! The Zelda-esque World started to grow dark. "Oh my God! The battery is running out! Were going to be DELETED!" "Pipe down! If I know my own creation then we cant ever die in here. We just go to sleep for some time. But going to nighttime? That shouldn't happen ever ever ever. Ever." "I get the general idea..." "I know I just like saying 'ever'" "Why?" "Don't change the subject." "After a moment or two of darkness something dropped out of the sky. Looked like a giant pitching machine. It had 10 balls!....Stop laughing! That's not what I meant! "A pitching machine causing all this? 9-Volt what's going on?" "I dunno but if its the true cause then this is about as low as creating the 27th letter of the alphabet just by flipping a current one upside-down."
9-Volt grabbed a baseball bat swung it some and got ready to hit some homers. then maybe hit some barts and marges. All right that was pretty stupid, I'm just trying to lighten the situation here. Well the only basic description I can give you is that 9-Volt hit baseballs.And he kinda won. Don't look at m like that how do you expect me to go all paragraph-like for a boss that just a stinking pitching machine? I mean, the pendulum back in the Tutorial was a lot more action-packed then this.
"Well now that you've defeated the 'boss' how do e get out?" "Simple!" Narration plot hole! Whoosh! "What the? How'd did we-?" "Stop talking its my turn. Anyway. I want to congratulate you for clearing the games and beating the boss!" "But you-" "9-Volt SLAP!" "I defeated the boss!" "Indeed! Now then Give me that custom GBA thingy so I can upload a game to it." 2 seconds pass... "Done! I've uploaded your own portable version of Chiritorie. However Jimmy hacked into it beforehand and I've never been able tog et rid of the T-Virus.....but I've got him right where I want him! Oh yes! I have his cat!" Just then Ken the Reporter burst through the door ran up to 9-Volt and shouted all reporter like "The NEW Duel colored Onyx/Platinum GBA SP is here! Get yours today or your gonna be eating at Arby's!" Immediately 9-Volt got on his skateboard abandoned Derek, and arrived at the store. But that's another story. And so we close of tonight's episode with Derek winning a batch of classic Nintendo games. Which of the 2...really 3 remaining developers will he beseech to next? Find out next week! I cant guarantee that!
END 9-Volt
