Running On Empty

Gordie had been walking for a few minutes when he heard someone call his name.

"Gordie! Yoo-hoo! Gordie!"

Gordie turned around and squinted in the direction of the voice. It was a girl and she was running towards him from the house opposite.

"Hey Lachey."

"It's Lachance," Gordie said irritably. Goddamn it was that girl from detention. Would she ever get his name right?

"Whatever," Laura said. She was panting slightly and for the first time Gordie noticed she was carrying a baseball glove.

"What do you want?" Gordie asked not bothering to be polite.

Laura narrowed her eyes slightly. "We're about to start a baseball game and your loser friend Teddy said he'd play but he never turned up and now my team is a man down." She scowled. "So what do you say? You going to take his place?"

"I don't think so." Gordie turned to leave.

"Don't be so fucking lame. Don't tell me you don't know how to play," Laura taunted.

"I'm not in the mood Lisa," Gordie said.

Laura didn't even notice his intentional mistake instead she was peering at him kind of funny. "You look like shit Lachey, what happened last night?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah. Right. Anyway you going to play or not?"

"Not." Gordie started to leave but Laura grabbed his arm.

"Come on, please. I wouldn't even ask if it wasn't a complete emergency."

Gordie couldn't imagine anything worse than spending a couple of hours playing baseball but Laura was already dragging him in the direction of her house. He struggled but it was futile, she outweighed him by at least twenty pounds and she had that bullish kind of brute strength. Not only was she taking him against his will she was making him feel inadequate too. He hated this girl.

"Shit Teddy watch where you're going!"

Teddy had been walking with his eyes on the ground and hadn't noticed that in front of him Chris had stopped and Teddy had barrelled straight into him. Now the two of them were lying on the grass. Chris untangled himself and stood up.

"We're at the tracks now, so just tell me what you have to say" Chris said.

Teddy climbed to his feet. "Look man it's about Gordie but if you're going to be such an asshole then let's just forget this."

Chris rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "What about Gordie?"

"He's fucked up man."

There was a flicker of concern in Chris's eyes but it vanished and his cool aloof attitude seeped back into the blue. "What do you mean?"

"Last night he was all kinds of crazy" Teddy said and spat on the ground.

Chris looked at the grass and whispered something that Teddy couldn't quite hear.

"Seriously drunk man, completely trashed, hammered, wasted. Out of his mind. He was drunk man." Teddy spoke fast, the words tumbling out on top of each other.

"Drunk?" and now Chris couldn't hide the concern.

"Yeah man. Shit I've never seen him like that he was all over the place, man. He climbed a fucking tree out on Beecher Street, a fucking tree! I tell you man I would never have thought it."

"You guys went out, huh?"

"Yes" Teddy said somewhat impatiently. "Me Gordo and Vern and a couple of girls."

"Which girls?"

"You don't know them. My girlfriend and Vern's."

"Shit Vern got a girlfriend" Chris said and laughed fondly.

"Yeah man, Vern got you beat for once."

Chris's smile tightened. "You don't know shit. Anyway what has Gordie got to do with me?"

"Cause it was what you said to him that made him all crazy and shit."

"I didn't say anything."

"He says you told him to leave you alone."

"That is not what happened." Chris's eyes were bleak. "I didn't tell him that. I told him that he had to stop worrying about me. I can take care of myself you know."

Teddy shrugged. "I only know what I heard and from what I heard it seems you told him to fuck off."

Chris stepped away from Teddy. "Shut up Duchamp."

Teddy was angry now. "Fuck you Chris. Fuck your holier than thou attitude. It sucks man. It fucking sucks!"

Chris glared at Teddy. "I was trying to help him Teddy."

"Help him what? For god sake's Chris why do you always assume you know best, huh? Shit when I was fucking twelve you already had me written off the page. I'm just another loser, better stay out of your way. Isn't that it man?"

"That's not it," Chris said softly. "That's not it at all."

"Well what is it then? Why can't you even look at me man? What makes you think you can just write me off and act like I don't even exist?"

Chris looked away, down the tracks. Teddy was suspended, almost ready to jump in and fight. Ready to spring, waiting for the comeback. It didn't come. Chris turned to him and his eyes were tired and his face had all collapsed in on itself. Teddy had never seen him like this before. This was the face Chris had kept hidden from everyone except Gordie.

"I was trying to help. Gordie would have written himself off the page and if he keeps sticking with all my shit then it's going to happen all over again."

"I see," Teddy said but he didn't. "What about me man? Didn't I deserve some help? No way man, you guys just upped and left. I'm in the shop courses with Vern and hey it's okay man cause that's how it's meant to be. Isn't that right?"

"Teddy, you can do anything you want to," Chris said and his eyes showed sadness and understanding. "I'm sorry man, it wasn't supposed to be like that. I guess I've just fucked up everything left, right and centre."

"No," Teddy said and he tried to smile. He found he couldn't. Goddamn it he was getting emotional. What was going on? "You haven't. I guess it just hurts cause I know you're right man. I do belong in the shop courses; I'm not worth shit in anything else right now. It's okay I guess, I just…. why can't you look at me Chris?"

Chris smiled sadly. "I'm scared I guess."

"Why?" Teddy asked.

"Cause I don't belong in the college course either," Chris said and he sat down on the train tracks. Teddy sat next to him and for a while they were silent. Both were sat thinking. But right now there were no answers, no easy answer anyway.