Noir

By spheeris1

Pairing: Utena/Anthy [others implied]

Warnings/notes: See 'Teaser' & 'Ichi'

~~~

Utena tried in vain to focus her thoughts as Miki practically had to drag her out of the store, away from the on-lookers and outside. He was talking about how they should find a doctor and why was she bleeding so much.

But she could not focus on him well enough, his face kept pulling in and out of her vision until she felt dizzy.

And she keeled backward, head cocked back and eyes rolling back.

She could hear Miki cursing, strange beeps and rushed words…but Utena didn't care.

Utena knew that wherever she was going, she had to go there…before anything else, she had to have answers…she had to know what had happened so many years ago…what happened to her.

~

Juri felt her skin begin to crawl as she neared the office of Kiryuu Nanami. The secretary was away from the desk. In fact, the building seemed empty…which cannot be a good sign, Juri decided.

And then, as she opened the door, she was overpowered the a horrible smell.

Like rotten food or a dead animal or both.

Juri coughed and opened the door, the scent only getting stronger.

And then she saw the reason why, sitting on the edge of the desk--Kiryuu Touga.

He smiled over at her and then looked back to Nanami, whose face was caught between fear and longing.

'Nanami, let's go okay?' Juri asked, trying not to inhale. Touga got up effortlessly and walked toward Juri.

'I should thank you for looking after my sister, though…according to her…not well enough to satisfy her.' He grinned.

Juri looked to Nanami, but the girl was painfully transfixed by her brother. She seemed to be frozen in time now, parts of her pulling her back to past infatuations.

'Why are you here? Did Akio send you?' Juri asked, fighting the impulse to put her hand over her nose and mouth.

'Ah yes…Akio. Akio is always involved, isn't he?'

'So that is a 'yes' then.' Juri spat. She wanted out of here, she wanted Nanami out of here…Juri desperately wanted to run away.

Touga laughed. 'Run away?'

Juri glared at him and stepped back.

'Don't go inside of my head, Kiryuu.'

'Can't help it…a new trick I acquired when I died. And so, the great Arisugawa Juri wants to run away and hide…'Touga turned around and frowned at his sister '…and this is who you trust your safety to?' He asked the blonde girl.

She didn't answer. Juri walked past him, kneeling close to Nanami and grabbing her hand gently.

'Nanami…come on, let's leave here. We can go wherever you like, but don't let him get to you again…'

'What about her?'

'Who?'

'Tenjou Utena. I can see her now, you know…I didn't see it before, not before but now…God, I can see her now, Juri. And she lived all this time, hidden and removed--Akio wants her. Touga knows, he knows what is going to happen…' Nanami rambled and Juri couldn't piece it all together. She pulled Nanami up slowly, wrapping her arm about her shoulders and walked her toward the door.

And heaven help Touga if he tried to stop either one of them.

'I'm not trying to hurt you…'Touga said aloud. Juri smirked.

'And that is why you still hang around Akio, even in death…not to hurt people.'

'I never said I was helping him, Juri-san…I never said that at all.'

Juri glanced at him. She only now noticed his clothing. It was his old School Council uniform. It was clean and crisp. And he had no ring on his finger…could it really be true? That Touga was not helping Akio?

Juri opened the door and pushed Nanami out to the hall. The girl looked back, dazed and concerned.

'What's going on? Juri…?'

Juri smiled at her as if she was a child, just waking up from a bad dream. She reached out and ran her fingers over Nanami's cheek…just lightly…then pulled them away.

'I have somewhere to go.'

'Where?' Nanami questioned, trying to come back inside, but Juri blocked her.

'Don't worry…I don't intend to be gone long.'

'You promise?'

And Juri paused. She didn't like making promises that she might not be able to keep…or might not want to keep…

Years and years of loving a girl who only wanted to crush you makes your heart resistant to open up again. To trust. To care. To believe.

But today, looking into very deep and oddly caring blue eyes, Juri decided she was already taking a chance going back to the past with Touga--one more won't hurt.

'I promise.' Juri smiled then shut the door.

~

And you watch it all play out, like some horrible nightmare…and you cannot believe you ever forgot it in the first place.

Walking up the stairs. Gliding through the air. Thinking you had it all figured out and yet you did not. A brief moment of weakness on your part…till you see her, crumpled on the steps and in that red dress…then you remember.

It all comes flooding back.

And you cannot give in, though it would be easy to…you cannot.

She needs you and so you fight.

Your heart beats strongly, it gives you strength, it gives you courage, it gives you ability. And you are determined to win, you have never wanted to fight, to duel and win so badly…all for her.

You realize it is all for her and you don't care. You want it to be all for her.

She is everything to you. She makes you whole after so long of being only half-alive. She is your soul.

But all the love, all the care in the whole damn world means nothing if you are the only one to believe in it.

And you are the only one, this time…you are alone.

You should have never stepped in between them. You should have never turned your back. You should have never been so foolhardy.

And pain shoots through you, racing up your body and making you cold.

You fall to the ground, in disbelief, for it is over.

She doesn't love you. She doesn't need you. She hates you…and you can never ever hate her. Irony is bitch.

You watch her rise up. You watch him take your sword. You hear slicing and clanging. You here his heavy footfalls.

And you smell those fucking roses, taunting you. And you feel the presence of your prince, the one who gives you power only to take it away. He kisses you, he talks in your ear…you are alone, that's all you can really hear, you are alone in your misery, in your feelings…

But then something runs across your brain, a scurrying thought--you may not be in the princess dress now, but you are letting someone down--you are wearing this ring, this outfit and you are letting someone down…this prince of your youth isn't shoving you off…no, not him…he is trying to get you to rise, despite his words…

He wants you to succeed.

And so you decide to, even if it kills you…

Struggling. Crawling. Stumbling. Bleeding.

Till you make it, till you claw and cry and beg.

You are a Prince.

She is your Princess.

Nothing can change that now, it is the way it should be. Forever.

~

Utena wakes up first with her eyes, then moves her fingers and toes.

No pain. Good.

She sits up and recognizes her bedroom. She stands up.

No pain, no bleeding. Good. Very good.

She walks out into her living room and sees Miki sitting at the couch, reading a newspaper.

'You don't remember me, do you?' She asks, causing the young man to jump.

'You startled me…' He breathes heavy, sitting the paper down and crossing his arms.

'You do not remember who I am.' Utena states, walking around the room and glancing at the table, the chairs, the painting on the wall.

'You are Tenjou Utena, a private detective.' Miki answers slowly.

'Well, let's just say I was in intense undercover then, Miki-kun…so intense that I didn't even know I was.'

Miki stared at her, his eyes narrowing.

'Miki-kun? Why did you call me that?'

'It's a long story and I am starving. Let's order some food and I'll tell you everything…and then we have to go.'

'Go? You can't mean Akio? Not after what happened today…and I can't find Juri, she won't answer her office number and that is the only one I have…and you! You were bleeding so I called the paramedics…but they found nothing. No cuts, no wounds.

Just an old scar.'

Utena steadied her breathing, her hand wanting to reach out to the scar and caress it, to tell it everything was now okay. But she didn't and tried to keep her tone jovial.

'Miki-kun, relax. Everything will make some sort of sense…after we eat.'

And Utena hoped she was right on that one.

~~~

TBC