Noir

By spheeris1

Pairing: Utena/Anthy [others implied]

Warnings/notes: See 'Teaser' & 'Ichi'

~~~

…who is to say that this is not all merely a dream, a celestial place--trapped between ground and sky--a time caught in mid-air where the laws of gravity do not apply and the laws within your very soul are forfeit and the laws of nature fall down like the apple from the tree…

Akio is Newton.

Utena is the apple.

But the seconds before one hit the other, the air that caressed the red skin…

…that is Anthy…

~

'Make it go away…make this pain stop…' Utena kept repeating, her voice rustling in the room like curtains blown by wind.

Anthy searched the tower for her brother, searched his rooms--his many, many rooms of conquest--and found him nowhere.

He could be watching, that much is true. His eyes, though blind to real nobility, see far too much in this place…his vision stretches out and beyond the heavens, the universe he created.

Anthy listens for whispers, for echoes along the walls.

All is silence.

All is thundering with meaningful quiet.

Utena mumbles on the couch, pulling inward and eyes tightly shut. Anthy knows that feeling, knows those aches and pains.

How easily one's insides are carved by the swords, how little you know of true pain until they enter you psyche and render you motionless.

Akio knew that so well, his hands the only relief Anthy could see in an ocean of agony--his touch, hot and fluid and real--it stopped the pain as much as it amplified it.

She could feel his desire and it cooled her wounds.

She could feel his hate and it increased her anguish.

'Make it stop…please, make it go away…' Utena kept saying, tugging at her dress folds and jerking at her tightly bound pink hair.

Anthy saw this day in and day out in the mirror of her memories.

A scary reflection of who she used to be…who she is always fighting to run from…

~

'Make it go away…'

'I know how to make it stop, how to ease your distress.'

'Please, please…'

'You do not know what you ask of me…'

'Please…………'

~

If Utena looked hard enough, she could see outside of herself.

As if floating above her own body and yet still connected to her mind, to some part of it not trapped and not in conversation deep down inside.

She could see her lips move and knew the words and felt them leave her lips like fire. She could see Anthy move closer to her, kneeling to the floor and cradling Utena's hands like glass.

Utena felt that fragile. As if she might break and shatter and be forever in a million pieces upon the surface of the world.

Her body moved forward and in time with herself below, shuddering in Anthy's arms--shuddering, shaking--and so tight do her fingers grasp at Anthy's body.

Utena wonders, if only for a moment, at this feeling that the two of them are somehow removed from everything now.

From this place, from this room, from this couch.

Ohtori seems so far away and so does dueling and princes and roses and Akio and the past and the future…all of it pales against this wonderfully agonizing and familiar happening before her eyes.

Anthy holding her, her hands in her hair and letting the strands go free.

Anthy smoothing over her back and undoing the clasps, undoing the restrictions.

Anthy kissing her brow, kissing her lips, kissing her neck.

'Make it all go away…' Utena hears herself whisper, no longer are those words filled with a child's terror.

They speak of raw need and unquenchable lust.

They speak where Utena could never speak, where her past life and her present life cannot merge.

They speak of all she has wanted all of these long, long years.

~

And no shadow crawls along. No long fingers, no mocking laugh.

All the pieces have been put away now.

The board is empty, the lights turned off.

If eyes are watching, they see nothing. Those eyes…they cannot see that which they do not believe in…

Love. Honor. Friendship. Trust.

They cannot see what is right in front of them.

And to the ones in view, it never truly mattered.

All they see is each other.

~

Utena does not feel the cold of the floor.

It feels as though she is drifting in a haze of comfortable heat…until that very same heat swells up inside of her, turning to a rolling and a rising wave, crashing down over and over and over…

Anthy does not feel the past chaining her down now.

Those bonds are sliding down with each contact of her skin to Utena's skin, until they are gone and replaced with a far more strong leash--one from her heart to Utena's heart.

It has lasted over time and space and fate.

Their connection, so little is understood about it now.

Is it fairy tale? Is it myth? Is it real?

These touches are real---against hips, thighs, necks, arms, legs, back, abdomens, breasts, shoulders, feet and noses.

These feelings are real---burning, fluttering, trembling, ecstasy and release.

Swords cannot find them here.

Akio cannot find them here.

The span of the galaxies would be lost if searching for the two of them.

Anthy feels real.

Utena feels real.

And so they shall be, so they shall be…

~~~

TBC