A/N: Thanks to all of you who reviewed, it's greatly appreciated! Regular updating is not a problem at the moment but it might be in the near future. School is back on, and I am taking 5 Highers this year, and that basically means a LOT of work. I don't want to let it interfere, but you never know. Hopefully there won't be a problem, but I just thought I'd warn you all just in case. Anyway back to the story.this chapter is a little fluffy, but I wanted you to see how all the characters are feeling, not just Harry. It all ties in. There will be action coming soon though!! Enjoy!

Chapter 5: Always There

Ron had long since gone to sleep. Sirius however was wide awake, and pacing the house. He couldn't sit still. He was so worried about Harry, what if Ron was right and Harry was planning to go after Voldemort soon? What if Harry left in the middle of the night? No! That wouldn't happen. Sirius was patrolling the house. There was no way Harry could get away. Sirius' mind was in a frenzy, he had so many things to say to Harry, so much to make him understand, but he couldn't find the words. He had no idea how to keep Harry safe. That was all he wanted to do. Protect his godson like he had never had the opportunity to. He wanted to make James proud, glad that he had chosen Sirius. Not regretting it, like he must be now. What had Sirius ever done for Harry? Nothing. Not a single thing. He was a pathetic excuse for a godfather, he couldn't even offer Harry a home to go to, a place to escape from those dreadful Dursley's. It was his fault Harry even had to go there at all. It was his fault that Lily and James were dead; he never should have trusted Pettigrew! Why did he suggest him? Why? It was the biggest mistake of his life and he didn't think he would ever overcome that guilt. A tear formed in Sirius' eye at this point, and when he looked up to wipe it away, he collided with someone. Remus, his best friend, the one he had thought to be a traitor, he had been so stupid!

"Sirius?" Remus sounded concerned "Are you okay?"

"Yes." Said Sirius, a little too quickly

"You really think you're going to fool me, old friend?" Why did Remus not hate him for not trusting him, for thinking he would go to Voldemort, for killing their best friends?

"Not really, but it was worth a try" Sirius attempted a smile, and failed miserably.

"Come through here, have a seat" said Remus indicating the chairs in front of a fire. They both fell into their respective chairs, and sat in an amiable silence for quite some time. It was Remus that broke the silence. "What's bothering you?"

"Harry"

"Why, what about him? I thought you two were getting along really well?"

"Oh we are. Well I thought so. But I was talking to Ron earlier, the kids found out about the Granger's."

"Oh, I see."

"That's not the worst of it. Harry's blaming himself for it. Because of the prophecy."

"You know what the prophecy said?"

"Yeah, Dumbledore told me."

"And?"

"Basically that Harry and Voldemort cannot co-exist; one will have to kill the other."

Remus didn't reply. There was nothing to say to that.

"And Harry thinks that he should've killed Voldemort by now, he's blaming himself for all the wrong that Voldemort is doing. And I can't help him, what can I say to make that better? Nothing, I'm a useless godfather!" Sirius got more and more emotional, he had been bottling up these feelings for quite some time, and now there was nothing to do but let them out. "I'm a disaster, always have been, in my whole life I've achieved nothing!"

"Sirius stop! That is not true. Any of it. You are a good godfather, you must be, the way Harry took you dying, we thought for a while he was going to follow you. I could barely keep him from running through that veil after you, Sirius I don't think you have any idea just how much Harry needs you and cares for you." Remus looked up at him searchingly, trying to see if he was getting through to Sirius. He couldn't tell. Sirius' eyes were unreadable after Azkaban. "And as for you having achieved nothing with your life, I must disagree. You were my friend when I thought no-one would be. I will never forget that. You escaped Azkaban; something no-one has ever done before. You've been there for your godson when he needed you most, and you've fought Voldemort as best you could. What more could you hope to achieve?"

"The end of this war. It's affected everyone I care about too much. I want Harry's pain to be over; I want him to experience a normal life. One where he doesn't have to live in fear, one where there isn't a new tragedy every day. One where he can be happy. Is that too much to ask?"

"No, it isn't. But it's not your fault. It's not up to you to provide that. It's out of your control." Remus was calm and soothing, he felt the same way, but he had already worked through it, and accepted how things were.

"That's the bloody problem!" yelled Sirius hysterically "It kills me to see him in so much pain, constantly, and not be able to do a thing other than tell him it'll be okay." A sombre look took over his face "especially when I know that it might not be." He looked at Remus, and saw the same pain in his eyes as was almost certainly in his own.

"I know, Sirius, I know." Remus reached over and pulled him into a hug, neither of them were normally overly comfortable showing such emotions, but this was different somehow, they both desperately needed the reassurance. Sirius pulled away after a short time.

"I'm glad you're here Remus"

"Me too"

"Now what am I going to do about Harry?"

"I think the best thing to do is try to understand that going after Voldemort won't help, at least not without a plan."

"That's it Moony! You're brilliant!"

"Yes I know." Replied Remus with a rather arrogant look on his face "But if you don't mind me asking, what inspired that particular compliment?"

"A plan! I tell Harry to come up with a plan. It'll make him think he's doing something without being in danger, and who knows? He might actually come up with a good idea!"

"That actually might work Padfoot!"

"Now who's brilliant?"

"Well it was my idea"

"Oh shut up Moony!"

"That's more like the Sirius I know and love!"

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Harry was at Hogwarts, in the great hall; all of his friends were there along with some of the order members, and all the students. So was Voldemort. He was calling them forward one at a time, and killing them. There on the spot, in front of all those people. Everyone who was called shouted back at Harry

"This is all your fault!" or

"I wish I'd never met you" or

"Are you happy now Potter?" that was Malfoy.

Harry was screaming at them all, "It's not my fault! I didn't ask to be born, I didn't ask him to come after me! I didn't ask for all of you to die!"

"Harry!" Ron's voice interrupted his dream. "Are you alright? Harry? Wake up!"

"Huh? What's going on?" Harry rubbed his eyes, not quite awake.

"You were screaming and thrashing around, something about how you didn't ask for anyone to die."

"Oh." It was all Harry could think of to say.

"Harry what were you dreaming?"

"Nothing important." Said Harry, he really didn't want to get into that right now. "I just need to go back to sleep." Harry rolled over, pulling the cover over his head, signalling that he didn't want to talk about it.

"Oh, okay, night then" said Ron resignedly as he clambered back into his bed. He was so confused. Harry wouldn't talk to him. He wanted to help, but if Harry wouldn't let him in then there was nothing he could do. HE knew Harry was tortured by awful nightmares almost every time he went to sleep, but Harry refused to discuss them, he couldn't even begin to imagine how Harry was feeling, knowing about the prophecy. Knowing that you were the only one that could kill the most evil wizard of all time, but at the same time feeling as lost and helpless as a baby, with no one there to help you. Then again, that had been Harry too, before Hogwarts no one had cared about him, he was used to being alone. "Still" thought Ron "that can't make it any easier". Ron remembered the all the times he had been jealous of Harry in the past, wishing he could be as famous, as admired. It was only now that Ron was beginning to understand what it was like to be Harry Potter -The Boy Who Lived- and he didn't wish it upon anyone.

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Harry woke up to an annoying tapping, pulling on his glasses he looked around for the source of the disturbance. He found it - it was Pig, and he had a letter, it must be Ron's reply from Hermione. Harry was glad it was here; it would be nice to have some good news for a change. He opened the window to let Pig in then stumbled over to Ron's bed to attempt to wake him.

"Ron!" Harry shouted "Wake up!" Ron simply rolled over; he had never been much of a morning person. "Looks like your reply from Hermione!" That was the magic word, Ron sat up like a shot, a horrible expression on his face, he looked like he was about to throw up.

"You open it." He looked terrified of the letter Harry held.

"Are you sure you want me to read the contents?" asked Harry, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"On second thoughts maybe I will open it!" Ron exclaimed as he lunged for the letter. He ripped it open and sat staring at it for quite some time. The only thing his face was giving away was that he was shocked. As far as Harry knew that could mean anything.

"Well?" asked Harry, somewhat impatiently "What does it say?"

"It says." Ron started, still looking amazed.

"What?!" Harry was getting louder

"It says that she wants to go out with me!" exclaimed Ron disbelievingly, his eyes wide with shock

"I told you!" declared Harry, looking pleased with himself, he was happy for his best friends. It was about time too, it had been obvious to Harry for a while that they liked each other.

"She really wants to go out with me." Repeated Ron, it obviously wasn't sinking in very well.

"Who does, dear brother?" Fred's head appeared from behind the door, a very interested look on his face.

"What are you doing here?" yelled Ron, his face the deepest shade of scarlet Harry had ever seen it achieve, and that was saying something.

"I was just here to tell you breakfast's ready, but I see you have more interesting things on your mind!" Fred remarked with a smirk "So who is the mystery girl?"

"No one!" Ron was furious, and embarrassed, they hadn't even been on an actual date, there was no way everyone was finding out about this before it even started. What if it all went wrong?

"What so you made her up?" Fred opened his mouth to continue speaking but was promptly silenced with a deft pillow.

"No!" declared Ron "I did not make her up!"

"Then who is she?"

"None of your business!" and with that Ron stalked past Fred and headed down to the kitchen.

Fred turned to face Harry, "So who is it?"

"I can't tell you. " said Harry looking decidedly awkward, he didn't see what the big deal was, they were bound to find out sooner or later, but if Ron didn't want them to know, then of course he would keep his mouth shut.

"How about if I guess?"

"I told you, I can't say"

"Why is it such a big secret?"

"I dunno, but Ron doesn't want to tell you, so I'm not going to betray him."

"I suppose that's fair enough," said Fred, the look on his face betraying his true feeling that it wasn't really. "You coming down to breakfast?"

"Yeah" replied Harry and he turned and walked out of the door.

As everyone leaving the table after breakfast an owl appeared through the window, it was a school owl, and that meant only one thing, Hogwarts letters! Harry, Ron, and Ginny all grabbed theirs. Inside there were the usual booklists, but Harry's had an extra sheaf of parchment, he picked it up curiously.

Dear Mr Potter,

This not is in regards to your N.E.W.T. classes. I presume you remember your careers interview that you received last year, when you informed me that you would like to pursue the career path of an Auror. In that interview I advised you to take Potions at a N.E.W.T level, but as you only achieved an E in that class, Professor Snape was most reluctant to admit you to his class. However, I presume that you will also remember that I told you I would help you all I could to achieve your dream, well, I have managed to persuade Professor Snape to take you in. This should not be treated lightly though, as you must maintain an extremely high standard of work, and if it slips, Professor Snape has the ability to remove you from his class. I hope you appreciate this opportunity and do not waste it.

Yours Truly, Professor M. McGonagall

Harry looked up in amazement, what had McGonagall done to persuade Snape? This was nothing short of a miracle! Harry felt slightly guilty that she would go to so much trouble for him, especially when he realised he had been having second thoughts about the whole Auror thing. HE didn't know if he could stand to be around that much death and pain anymore.

"What's that Harry?" Ron looked puzzled

"A note from McGonagall, saying that she got Snape to admit me into the Potions class even though I only got an E. If I still want to be an Auror."

"Wow, how'd she manage that?" Ginny looked genuinely intrigued

"No idea!"

"Well there's quite a few new books to get, for the N.E.W.T. 's I suppose" said Ron

"Good thing we're going to see Hermione at Diagon Alley in a few days then isn't it?" said Harry, smirking at Ron

"Yeah I guess so," said Ron, a pink tinge creeping onto his ears.

"Harry?" It was Sirius

"Yeah?"

"I want to talk to you?"

"What about?"

"Not here, let's go through to the front room, there shouldn't be anyone there." Sirius looked unusually serious, he had been so happy the last week or so, what could've happened? Of course, the Grangers. He followed Sirius and fell onto the couch next to him.

"What is it?"

"Harry, I know you found out about the Grangers"

"So! I can't believe you didn't tell us anyway, Hermione's my best friend, and you don't think I'm important enough to know that she's in danger!"

"The only reason that you didn't know is that we don't want Hermione to find out. It wouldn't do any good. She's staying here for the rest of the summer; she'll have the most protection she can, without the paranoia of knowing that Voldemort is after her. We couldn't tell you because it's so much to ask you to keep it from her."

Harry looked at Sirius, he could see from the expression on his face that this wasn't his idea, that he had clearly been over-ruled, so he decided to drop it. "Is this all you wanted?"

"No, I also know that you blame yourself for what happened."

"So what if I do? It's my fault!"

"It's not your fault! I understand how you feel. You want to get Voldemort, make him pay for what he's done to you." Sirius' eyes flashed, he shared those sentiments.

Harry looked up at him resignedly, "Not even that anymore."

"What?" Sirius looked confused

"I just want it to be over." Harry spoke softly and Sirius was shocked when he looked at him. Those weren't the eyes of a sixteen year old, they had seen so much, such awful, hideous things, there was no trace of the adolescent joy, or wonder that should be there. That one glance overwhelmed Sirius.

"Me too." He hugged Harry, and he clung to him, he wanted to take all the pain away, he wanted to make this over for him, for the world, but Harry was the only one that could do that. "But you running to Voldemort won't help that." Sirius had to get back to the reason they were having this conversation, he had to keep Harry safe.

"But I'm the only one that can stop him! What do you want me just to sit around while he kills off everyone I care about?"

"No. I want you to be prepared to fight him. I want you to have plan, know how you can get rid of him and not rush into anything. You are the only hope Harry, I know that's a huge responsibility and that you don't want it, I don't want you to have it either, but you do, and you have to make the most of that. You can't make this easy for Voldemort. Promise me that you won't go after him 'till you're sure you can win? Or until he comes after you? Promise me Harry? I need to hear that promise."

Harry looked at his godfather, it was obvious that he cared about Harry, and he was right, if Harry were indeed the only hope then him rushing off and getting himself killed would only make matters worse. He had to plan, to prepare. He had to win. He looked at Sirius determinedly "I promise."

"Thank you. Now remember if you ever want to talk about this, I'm here. And so is Ron. You're hurting him you know, keeping him shut out. It hurts all of us, we want to help you but you never tell us what the problem is so we can't." Sirius looked pained, Harry could see in his eyes the pain he was going through, and the worry he felt for Harry. Harry wished he could take it all away. All the pain Sirius had gone through because of Voldemort, Sirius didn't deserve it, he had done nothing wrong! Harry would end this if it were the last thing he did, and there was a good chance it would be. That had scared Harry before now, it still did of course, but not nearly so much, if in dying he could rid the world of Voldemort, and all the evil he personified, then he would, he would do it in a second. Unfortunately, things are never that simple.

"I know, I just have to deal with things myself. But it's nice."

"What is?"

"Knowing you're there." This caused a smile to envelop Sirius' face. Harry could trust him. Harry was comforted by him. "See Prongs!" he thought to himself "Harry's in good hands." And for the first time, Sirius believed it.

"I'll always be here. I love you Harry, always remember that okay?" Sirius reached out and hugged Harry again. To Harry it was the best feeling in the world, to have someone care so much about him.

"I love you too." Harry said softly. Sirius was shocked to hear Harry say that, he had wished it to be true; it was all he wanted for Harry to care about him as much as he did about Harry. But Harry always kept things like this so bottled up; Sirius didn't know how to react. So he pulled Harry closer, and lost himself in the moment, committing it to memory. Harry loved him, Harry needed him. It was the best feeling in the world. HE hadn't failed James after all. A smile lit up Sirius' entire face.

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A/N: That was fluffier than I anticipated, oh well! Sorry! More will happen next chapter definitely. One question: Am I getting the characters right? I don't want to lose track of them, and turn them into completely different people, I like them as they were written. Please tell me if I'm messing up on that aspect! I want to know what you guys think; the story is for you after all! Any ideas for a Defence Against The Dark Arts Professor would be helpful; I seem to have a block on that area! Anyway hope to hear from you with some reviews, in the meantime, enjoy the story!!

Now to reply to my fans! (lol):

Jay() - Thanks! Hope you keep reading!

AndReallyBadEggs - I know, I cried when Sirius "died" too. I refuse to believe he's dead! He has to come back - doesn't he? Anyway, thanks for the review, hope you like the rest just as much!

Dragania Amma Lyris Malfoy - So glad you like the story, Hope you like this chapter too!

Anna L.Black - Sirius is the best isn't he? I couldn't have written this without him in it! I know the start was a bit long - I just had no idea how to start! Thanks for all the wonderful praise, it means a lot!