Noir
By spheeris1
Pairing: Utena/Anthy [others implied]
Warnings/notes: See 'Teaser' & 'Ichi'
~~~
She was huddled in the corner and did not move.
It was a case of magical thinking.
Think small, be small. Like a mouse--gray and tiny and hidden.
And those voices, those harsh and killing voices could not find her there.
In her hole in the wall.
Under cover and tucked away from sight.
Then she could lick her wounds. Then she could heal and rest once more.
Then, and only then, could she become whoever it was she was meant to be.
'Wake up, child…wake and see the new dawn. A chilled morning. A very cold sun. And I made its glory, like he made the stars. I made the snow fall down like he makes stones crumble.'
All those harsh voices…haunting like an icy wind…
Shiori sat up slowly.
Two days had passed. Two nights had come and gone without her knowing.
Juri is gone. Juri is gone. Juri is gone.
And she stumbled from her room, barefoot into this sudden blizzard…the air like a knife against her skin…
Her flesh turned from creamy pale to dull blue, the blue of her veins pressing up in search for warmth…and her face was a rough red, a blush like no other--from an exertion like no other.
Shiori had been twisted in bed sheets and arms. She had rushed after those better than herself like a dog. She had cried rivers in the dark of night.
But nothing is as red as this windblown caress.
As this realization that the end is near, the end is here…
~
'What's wrong with you?' Anthy asked softly.
And Akio's silence in her mind was deafening…it was so very quiet, once her brother spoke, a chill ran up Anthy's spine.
'I just realized something, dear sister…something I should have seen…'
A pause.
'You did not do this then?' Anthy asked, her gut knotting up now.
'Someone else wanted Winter, Anthy. Someone else has their axe to grind.'
Saionji stood tall upon the arena. Delicate snowflakes rained down, each one making its silent descent to the ground…it was beautiful.
Beautiful and so very right.
Right to be barren and blank, to see nothing under the white…as if this duel was merely a rebirth.
To life anew, to life once more given…
'You are mad.' Touga said from the side, slipping out into raw arctic sunlight sloping over the edges of clouds.
'Not mad, Touga. This is my day…my time for something eternal…' Saionji sighed.
He was happy now, more content than all the years before this moment.
…my time has come…the circle is now complete…
'I offered to help you, remember that…' Touga stated, placing his hand upon Saionji's shoulder.
It was personal and affectionate. So unlike Touga. Saionji furrowed his brow and stepped away.
'Is there something I should know? Something you are not telling me?'
Touga remained in front of him, no more words left his lips but they did turn slightly upward.
A grin, like the old ones…but different somehow…not so frigid and superior…
'I know nothing, my good friend, nothing at all…'
And then Touga pulled Saionji swiftly and pulled Saionji close, placing their lips together in one fleeting kiss…
…something eternal…
~
'You see more than you let on, ya know…'
Again, not a question, just a fact.
This other you deals in facts. Otherwise, they would not have made it in the private investigator business.
This other you is street smart, savvy and slick.
This other you wouldn't have been sucked in so easily.
'Hey now, don't beat yourself up over this. I was there you know…I knew the rules and I still played. We all gotta take a risk sometime…'
You nod your head as you look up forlornly at the screen.
Another duel, another one free.
'Not him. He's dead already.' The other you says in between handfuls of peanuts.
Already dead, yet still trapped there…linked forever to your bitter and useless dreams…The other you chuckles.
'Now you see my point. If you just let go of this, everything will be okay. Trust me…trust us.'
And you just do not know who should be listened to, who should be ignored!
The you up above is a shell.
And the revolution is down below, in this bar.
'But I refuse to say that little speech about the chick and the egg…' The other you smirks and you cannot help but laugh in return.
Akio could sense Anthy going up the long stairway to the arena.
He could see Utena by her side, like a sliver of coral…almost shattered by the wind…
But something else was niggling at his mind.
Someone else…they had made their presence known now, emerged from the shadows and presented a difficulty Akio did not foresee.
Most problems were of Akio's making.
Most everything was of Akio's making…at least here, in Ohtori…
But now, Akio was beginning to wonder…if maybe, just maybe…this Ohtori is in no one's hands.
Not his, not his sisters.
No, not even belonging to this old pawn from the grave…
They were all on their own now.
And that numb feeling crept all through Akio's body once more.
~
'Take away the pain. If you want to be free, you must take freedom from someone else…'
And she heard his voice as clear as a bell, from behind her as she sat on a tiny little chair…
…in a tiny blue room…
…forever going down…
And she ended up at her own grave, her own coffin laying dormant…waiting for her to come home…
Utena pressed at her forehead, but the pain would not subside. It kept rolling up in waves of agony. And with each stab, her knees would buckle.
Anthy tried to help her along, but had to leave her once she got to the top.
…must go home…must get free once more…
'What are you doing here?' Anthy exclaimed to a uniformed Shiori. The plum-haired girl had her sword raised and pointed at a confused Saionji.
'I am leaving here and I'll fight whoever I have to in order to get out.' Shiori explained calmly.
'These are not the rules, Shiori. You fight me, only me…and now is not your time.'
Shiori grinned over at Anthy then, her eyes lit up from within--a dark fire.
Anthy had to fight the impulse to step backwards.
'You cannot order me, Himemiya-san. I know your secrets. I know of your power. He came to me and told me…he told me!' Shiori yelled.
Saionji looked from one woman to the other.
'What the hell is she talking about, Anthy?'
And for once, Anthy did not know…and it scared her to the core of her being…
Utena tried to listen, tried to focus and understand the words being said. But it was no use, they were all jumbled up and mixed up and messed up.
She could hear Anthy and tried to walk toward her.
The steps seemed uneven and her legs moved in slow-motion.
She was swaying. Or something was pushing her back and forth.
And the pain, it increased tenfold, forcing her down to her knees with a cry of anguish.
…if you want freedom, you must take it…take what you want…do it…
'Can you stop it? Now that you know…?' Touga asked suddenly from that familiar bed above the arena.
Akio took shallow breaths, sweat trickling down his face in salty trails.
'I did not see it. I did not know I had lost control…what can I do? I can do nothing! I am powerless now…I've lost eternity…I've lost it all!' Akio wailed, more to himself than to Touga.
All his dreams--gone.
It was all a lie.
A fantasy.
A joke.
And Akio was now lost, a shambles, a wreck of a man.
His mind was swirling in and out of focus.
His body was shaking and his muscles were constricting painfully.
'Touga…this is the end of all things…' Akio whispered.
And the sudden clash of swords brought their eyes back to the scene below.
Anthy began to summon her power, regardless of Shiori's words.
This was not her plan. This was not the way things were supposed to go.
But before she could, a hand gripped her shoulder.
'Funny how things go when you forget the past, when you try to outrun history.'
And Anthy could finally put all her nagging fears in a place, within the voice of this man…this walking and talking reminder of the sins of long ago…the fate all of them must face and defeat…
'Mikage…' Anthy whispered.
'And so it shall remain, for all eternity. I shall end this world and then I shall end all of you, Himemiya Anthy. My eternity still waits…and Death will obtain it for me.'
Utena contorted on the ground, her heart pounding practically out of her chest. A whirlpool of images berated her as she twisted and turned.
She could see swords hitting against each other, she could feel fear and worry, she could smell ice water and wet tree bark, she could hear many voices inside her brain…all of them vying for control, trying to take the stage…
…trust me, trust us…
…save the princess…
…take your freedom back…
…let it go, let it go, let it go…
~~~
TBC
