DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fanfiction produced for entertainment purposes only. Inu-Yasha - A Feudal Fairytale and all related characters are the creations of Rumiko Takahashi.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Slight spoiler warning for anyone who hasn't seen episodes 7 (corresponds to book 2) and 96 (anime only) of the anime.
Chapter 4: The Choice
By Shadow's Mirror
'It's a game of choice. Your choice. Save one and you condemn the other to death. So, which will it be, Sesshoumaru? The life of your faithful servant, or the life of your little girl?'
The words ran endlessly through Sesshoumaru's mind as he stared at the cages, for once in his life not knowing what to do. The ruthless side of his nature urged him to simply leave, so as not to give any satisfaction at all to his opponent by playing this 'game' of his. Up until this moment, he had refused to allow himself to acknowledge that he was anything other than entirely ruthless, but… there was definitely another voice within him. A very little voice, true, but it was screaming at him with surprising strength. It was urging him to save them. Both of them.
That little voice… was it Tenseiga? No, he would have recognised it if it were. His conscience? No, surely not. Who had ever heard of a youkai with such a thing? But then… that left only one other possibility… The little voice had to be his long-ignored heart.
Sesshoumaru tried to lock the voice away at the back of his mind, but it was a struggle. Every time he thought he'd succeeded, it would break away and return to scream at him and show him image after image of Rin and Jaken. Rin happy. Jaken tripping over something. Rin laughing. Jaken being stepped on. Rin playing. Jaken sighing as she danced around him. Rin looking pensive as he left her alone and calling out for him to come back for her. Jaken looking upset when he'd told him to stay behind with Rin. Which he'd told Jaken to do quite often since it kept him out of his way.
As the images kept up their relentless assault on his mind, Sesshoumaru stood silent and still, gazing at the cages as though deep in thought. He would never admit to the struggle going on within his mind. But he knew that it couldn't last forever. If he was going to leave, then he needed to do it now. If he was going to stay… then he needed to choose. But how to make such a choice?
As his thoughts shifted direction, Sesshoumaru knew that he'd decided to stay. It hadn't really been a conscious decision, but he defended it by telling himself that he'd made it because he refused to allow his opponent to think him a coward. He was also curious as to why his opponent was doing this. He couldn't see what his opponent would gain by it, and that troubled him. At least when he was dealing with Naraku he had a clear idea of what the half-youkai was after!
Once he'd decided to stay, the voice in his mind grew quiet enough for him to look at the problem logically. The decision was obvious.
Jaken was a youkai who had served him faithfully for over a hundred years. He could be annoying at times, but he had also helped out once or twice. Most importantly though, he did the things that were too commonplace for Sesshoumaru to do, like light fires and cook dinner. Without him, Sesshoumaru's life wouldn't be as comfortable as it was, even while journeying. Sesshoumaru valued his comfort. Rin was just a little human girl. She was of no importance or value to him whatsoever. He didn't even know why he'd bothered to save her life, let alone why he had tolerated her continued company.
Sesshoumaru turned towards Jaken's cage and started forward.
He had taken no more than a step when a sudden pain pierced his chest. His stride faltered and his golden eyes widened slightly in shock. The pain was followed by an odd fluttering sensation, as though there was a bird caught inside his chest and trying to get out. His mind suddenly flooded with sights and sounds… all of Rin. Her laugh, her piping voice, her worried cries for him to come back to her, her smile, her song… the song… more than anything else, her song. Sesshoumaru stopped. He bowed his head, his hair hiding his eyes for a moment as he tried to think rationally. As he tried to ignore what his heart was trying to tell him. But his heart refused to be ignored any longer. It would not be silent!
Sesshoumaru's head snapped up, his golden eyes blazing. He'd had enough of the internal battle. His brother was the emotional one. His worthless, pathetic brother was the one who allowed his heart to rule over what passed for his mind. Sesshoumaru had lived for many years without even acknowledging his heart's existence and there was no way that he was going to change that now! He started forwards again, determined to keep to the course of action that reason dictated. Then another voice filled his mind, stopping him in his tracks.
Actually, it was more of a very strong feeling than a real 'voice'. After all, how could a sword such as Tenseiga possibly talk? But Sesshoumaru had always been able to understand the sword somehow. It 'spoke' only when necessary, but so far it had proven to be right each and every time. Calming down, he listened. When he heard its message, he almost threw the sword away in rage.
Have courage, Sesshoumaru and follow your heart.
Courage! Now his own sword dared to call him a coward? Sesshoumaru almost growled.
To know your heart, is to know yourself. Only then can you truly be strong, for only then can you truly know where your strength lies.
Sesshoumaru decided that he hated riddles. Especially riddles given to him by a sword that couldn't even cut! But… something Tenseiga said bothered him because it reminded him of something that he'd once noticed about his brother.
During their first battle over Tetsusaiga, Inu-Yasha had been slow and clumsy, unable to even land a punch. But when the life of the annoying human female with him had been threatened… suddenly all that had changed. It had been as though Inu-Yasha had gained strength and speed out of his will to protect her. Sesshoumaru had never quite been able to forget about that incident. It hadn't been the only time it had happened either. Whenever his brother allowed his emotions to choose his course of action, he somehow always managed to not only survive, but succeed in whatever he was trying to do. The thought made Sesshoumaru more than a little uncomfortable.
Perhaps… He could at least listen to what his heart was trying to tell him… What harm could it really do? He didn't have to follow it unless he chose to, and that would only happen if it gave him an alternative answer to this situation.
As soon as Sesshoumaru had decided, his mind filled with a single image. Rin, lying unconscious in his hold, her hand still clutching the plant that Jaken had needed to save his life. The small human girl had almost died while trying to get that plant for him. Despite the odds against her, despite the danger, Rin had refused to give up. She had been willing to risk her own life in the attempt to save Jaken's.
As that realisation dawned on Sesshoumaru, another memory came to him. This time it was something that Jaken had said. Even though he had shown nothing but contempt for Rin at first, the first time Sesshoumaru had ordered Rin to stay behind, he had asked in surprise if they were 'abandoning' her. Since then, a strange sort of almost-friendship had slowly grown between them. Sesshoumaru was somewhat surprised when he realised that he had watched it happening, and never before realised exactly what it meant. Jaken had accepted Rin's presence in their lives.
Sesshoumaru blinked. What had he just thought? Their lives? That made it sound as though they were a… His mind refused to think the word, but his heart shouted it as loudly as it could.
At some point, when Sesshoumaru hadn't been paying attention, he, Jaken and Rin had apparently become some sort of… family…
Sesshoumaru looked at the cages, now seeing them, and the 'game', in an entirely different light. He had almost allowed his opponent to trick him again. No winner, no loser. He couldn't believe that he'd actually believed that to be true. If he allowed himself to fall into the simple, but surprisingly cunning, trap, if he allowed either Rin or Jaken to die, his opponent would win. Sesshoumaru could see that now. He refused to allow that to happen. Determination flooded through him. There had to be a way to save both of them! He just had to work out…
The chains!
His mind raced. His opponent had claimed that cutting the chain would break the spells on that cage. But by cutting the chain on one cage, the spells on the other cage would activate. But what if…
Sesshoumaru smiled slightly. His golden eyes glinted as he suddenly leaped into the air, drawing Toukijin as he jumped towards the cage containing Rin. He was almost there…
Suddenly, he threw Toukijin! The sword struck the chain on the cage holding Jaken, its powerful blade easily cutting through the iron links. As it did so, Sesshoumaru's claws slashed at the chain on Rin's cage. The two chains broke at the same moment. As Jaken's cage crashed to the ground, Sesshoumaru caught Rin's cage and lowered it more gently. Jaken could survive a few bruises, but Rin was only a fragile human after all.
Sesshoumaru darted a glance at both cages and refused to acknowledge the relief he felt when neither sets of leaves burst into flames. When he heard the applause from somewhere behind him, he whirled around, his eyes searching the flickering shadows dancing over the walls.
"Oh, well done, Sesshoumaru! For a moment there I didn't think you were going to work it out. That's the thing about only ever referring to your mind for your decisions and actions… your mind doesn't always see every side of the situation. There are some things that only the heart can notice. It's a good thing that you listen to Tenseiga at least, otherwise you might never have learned that."
It wasn't often that Sesshoumaru was completely stunned, but the soft words had done exactly that. Aside from the fact that his opponent had apparently been able to 'hear' Tenseiga, his words also seemed to imply that this hadn't been so much a test, as a lesson. For him. "You did this on purpose to… what? Force me to examine my… thoughts about these two?" He still wasn't willing to openly admit to having emotions… or a heart.
It seemed incredible to him that someone would go to so much trouble for something that was so… useless… He paused at that thought. No, perhaps it wasn't so useless after all, but it was certainly not something that a stranger would just do as a random act! Sesshoumaru frowned.
"Why did you do this? Who are you?"
A soft laugh was his only response. He was about to ask again when he suddenly noticed the sweet scent tickling his nose. It took him a moment to recognise it. His eyes widened as he struggled to remain conscious, despite the smell of the burning plants. He glanced at the two cages and caught sight of Rin and Jaken still sleeping peacefully within them.
It was the last thing he saw before his world went dark.
